


Stay Inside My Heart

by tenspetal



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, Cat/Human Hybrids, Disassociation, Domestic Fluff, Established Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Family Issues, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Homophobia, Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Are Best Friends, Hybrids, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Model Na Jaemin, Multi, Panic Attacks, Pining, Sarcasm, Self-Doubt, Self-Lubrication, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 152,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24890380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenspetal/pseuds/tenspetal
Summary: Renjun had spent most of his life alone.Before he was adopted, in his first family, and now even in his current home, he led a life of calm solidarity. He enjoyed it that way, though. He and his owner, Mrs. Lee, never felt the need to venture out from their small home when it had everything he wanted inside of it. But, when tragedy strikes, Renjun is forced to go outside and face the world for the first time since he was a child. Luckily, he finds two loving and patient people willing to stay beside him and help him through it all.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 857
Kudos: 1300





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a completely self indulgent story because it's one of my ult ships and I'm a sucker for hybrid fics. This story will contain smut, some angst, language, and plenty of fluff and stupid attempts at humor. It starts off a bit sad, but I hope you’ll stick through it with me! 
> 
> I don't have a beta, so I apologize for mistakes

To say Renjun hated going outside would be an understatement.

Did he really even know what would be outside if he ventured that far? No. But, his feline traits allowed him to be comfortable in his home day in and day out. And he was mostly content.

His owner, Mrs. Lee, had kept him inside for the past eleven years, but he truly did not mind. When he had been at his previous owners’ apartment, they had kept him inside too. Although, their version of inside was his own room that he was only allowed to leave when they weren’t home.

Why had they even adopted a hybrid if they didn’t want the company of one was a question Renjun often asked himself. Even though he found himself feeling lonely, he knew that things in his life at his first home could have been much worse.

And then they were.

One day his old owners left for work and never came back.

Mrs. Lee heard the kitten’s cries through the wall after a few days, and ended up finding Renjun hungry and alone, curled up underneath a broken bed. She quickly adopted him, not caring that she was reaching an old age and would occasionally need help herself.

So, the past five years or so, Renjun had begun transitioning into taking care of her at home instead of living in calm uneventfulness with her. He would do things like make meals for the two of them and clean the house or do her laundry when she forgot. The past several months he had even had to help her bathe herself, but she told him that this was normal and just happened when people grew older.

Renjun, personally, hated the noise of falling water and often fled at the sound, his sling crawling. But, she had saved him; it was the least he could do in return.

Mrs. Lee never had visitors and never even spoke of other family she had, so Renjun assumed she was alone in this world, too.

Just like him.

It would make sense then why she immediately took him in and was so inclined to never let him leave their flat. They were both lonely souls who only had one another. Spending almost twenty-four hours every day together; they had formed a bond to say the least.

Most days were silent between the both of them. She would buy him supplies for his art and he would sometimes sing songs for her when she requested. It was a very simple life compared to what he would see on TV, but that’s the only way he had known it. 

It was approaching Mrs. Lee’s eighty-fifth birthday, and Renjun had been secretly storing supplies that he needed to make a cake. Every so often he would sneak supplies like sugar and flour and hide them away in his room. He would have had to ask her straight out to buy icing, and that would have given the surprise away, so he had decided to make a plain vanilla cake with strawberries on top.

She didn’t like sweets that much anyways.

The plan was to wait until she fell asleep, and then bake it while she slept so that hopefully the smell wouldn’t give it away.

Researching cake recipes had been tricky since they only had a very clunky, old computer that ran at a snail’s pace. While it took several minutes to load up each search, Renjun would turn and make sure she wasn’t coming into the living room to see him, his fingers twitching with excited nerves.

So, the night before her birthday, after he sang a song for Mrs. Lee to fall asleep to, he waited in the living room for nearly thirty minutes before he started on the cake. Getting the ingredients out, he worked diligently, running to the computer to check the recipe, before hurrying back to the kitchen, trying to remember exactly what it had said.

_Three cups of flour... no wait, had it been four?_

His tail curled happily in the air when the soft smell of warm vanilla spread through the small kitchen. It made everything feel even homier than it already had, with the sweet scent dripping from the air.

Running his fingers through the deep brown fur on the end of his tail, he surveyed his work. The few dishes he had used, he already put directly into the dishwasher, and the cake only had a few minutes left until it should be done.

Renjun had also been working on a small, painted portrait of Mrs. Lee as a present. He really felt like he captured her well in the photo; her eyes were smiling so deeply, they looked like half-moons, and her short white hair was groomed to perfection.

Even on his worst days, no matter how horrible his mood would get, seeing her smiling eyes always helped calm and make Renjun himself smile, too.

Sometimes, when he got the urge to groom, she would even let him play with her hair and make it ‘perfect’, according to himself. Although it always ended up much fluffier than normal, and she would laugh lightly and wait until Renjun was elsewhere in the apartment to style it back to normal.

When the oven dinged, he put on the much too large oven mitts and pulled the cake from the oven. He set the small circular pan on the stove and let it cool a bit before flipping the spongy cake out and onto a pretty plate. Placing a layer of a plastic wrap over the top, Renjun smiles to himself at how well it had turned out.

Getting into bed that night, he set an alarm to make sure he would be awake before Mrs. Lee. She was always an early riser, and he wanted it all to be a surprise.

A soft smile stretched across his face, as he rolled over in the small, squeaky double bed that was in his room.

It would be the best birthday ever.

Renjun’s alarm sounded bright and early, before the sun itself had even risen. After taking a quick bath in the one small bathroom they shared, he went into the kitchen to cut up strawberries and put them around the cake prettily, even arranging the ones in the middle in the shape of a heart. He started heating up a kettle of water for tea, and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster.

Lastly he gathered the finished portrait of Mrs. Lee, clinging to it an anticipation.

He sat at the circular table they used for their meals, the cake in front of him, and waited for her to come down the hallway to surprise her.

After awhile, he noticed the clock was now ticking beyond 5:30am, which was a bit unlike her. The last time she slept in this late, she had contracted a small fever. Renjun padded down the hallway, tail slowly flicking in curiosity.

Knocking lightly, Renjun stepped back, his hands clasped in front of him while he waited for Mrs. Lee. He didn’t want to accidentally wake her if she wanted to sleep in on her birthday.

There was no response, so he cracked the door open and peaked inside. She was still in bed and laying on her back, eyes closed in slumber. Renjun smiled softly, trying not to giggle at the fact that she had chosen to sleep in.

Going to shut the door to let her sleep, he noticed just how still she was. His tail began to thrash behind him before he grabbed it, to still its movement.

Hesitantly moving forwards, he reached her bed and called for her softly.

“Mrs. Lee?”

There was no movement. No breath. Nothing.

“M-Mrs. Lee?” He asked again, louder this time. The only response he received was radio silence and an eerie tingling of wrong slithering up his spine.

Mrs. Lee had always said that there was only one phone number he ever needed to know, and that was 119, the number for emergencies. So, that was what Renjun had called. He spoke to a very nice lady in a very calm voice.

When loud knocks came from the door, he let the people in, his ears flat to his head. It was loud, much louder than Renjun had probably ever heard before.

“Is she okay?” Renjun spoke softly, his hand outreached to tap the shoulder of a petite man near him. The man turned around and looked Renjun up and down before sighing out and reaching over to pet his head.

Jerking back away from the touch, he scurried into the far corner of the room by the couch and ducked down. There were a lot of people and he didn’t appreciate the sudden petting. He let that be very well known when the same man approached him, hissing out nervously. The man sighed deeply once more, when a white long table-like thing was rolled out of the hallway, Mrs. Lee on top of it.

His ears perked up, and he tentatively walked over to where they were strapping her down, a weird circular thing connected to some woman’s ears pressed to her chest, while she had an airbag inflating and deflating being held by someone else.

They rolled her the rest of the way out of the apartment, no one bothering to even stop and speak to Renjun, to explain what was happening. He went to walk towards the open door, but stopped at the threshold watching them wheel her away, down the hallway and out the building.

“Where are they…” Renjun trailed off, looking back to the few people left in the apartment.

“Hey, cat, can you tell us what happened?” His eyes narrowed and his tail fluffed up, very on edge. The one woman there put on a soft smile, and pushed the mean man out of the way, approaching Renjun slowly, her palm raised towards him.

“Hey there, is it okay if we asked you some quick questions? I’m sure you have some too,” her voice was soft and kind of reminded him of Mrs. Lee so he nodded slightly, his tail going back to its natural state.

Following her to the dusty couch, the other two men walked back down the hallway. She asked him about what happened before he had called and how she had been last night and even the previous day.

Once he had finished answering her questions, she stared answering a few of his. Who were they? Why were there so many of them? Where did they take his owner? And when would she back.

“Well, sweetheart,” she looked down to her notes and scratched her head before looking up at him with sympathy, “when they took her out, her heart wasn’t beating. I’m sure they’ll do everything they can, but the hospital will call you when they have news, right? Why don’t you just wait until then.”

Her… heart?

Renjun sat in a stupor, as the woman said more things that didn’t register. Soon after, the three other’s left and he stayed in the same spot on the couch, staring at the floor.

What was he supposed to do now? He had no one to call to talk to. He couldn’t go out and see her at the hospital…

He should just wait, right? The lady had said the hospital would call him. So he would wait until then.

Renjun had no idea how long it took hospitals to call, or how they would even get his phone number, so he stayed in his spot on the couch and did the one thing he was told to.

Wait.

And wait he did.

In fact, he waited so long, the sun started to set. But, Renjun kept waiting.

Even when the sun rose.

Even when he cried into the cake he had made.

Even when he sat in the bathtub, eyes sore.

He always went back to the couch and sat waiting, staring at the phone on the wall to ring. Willing it to make a single noise.

Time became sort of funny; in fact, it felt like Renjun would blink and the sun would just be in a different position. He wasn’t sure if he slept, but he thinks he might have at some point. If anything, his brain was definitely in a state of ‘off’.

But, he kept waiting.

Two weeks later, Renjun was huddled underneath Mrs. Lee’s still unmade bed. He shivered, covered in the fuzzy blankets from around the house. At some point in the past few days, the heater had stopped working. No matter how he messed with it, it wouldn’t even light up anymore.

Once, he even picked up the phone, debating calling 119 again, but the phone made no noise. As he pressed the buttons wildly, no sound came across.

So, he was huddled up under the bed, where the faint smell of his owner still lingered, bringing him slight comfort. When the power had gone out, Renjun had tried to eat as much of the food in the fridge and freezer as he could, but he was small. He could only eat so much, so he had to throw most of it out.

Now that he thought about it, most things seemed to have stopped working around the same time. The water included.

Renjun shivered once more, and wondered if this was how cold it was outside too? No wonder Mrs. Lee always wanted to be inside with him. It was horrible.

At some point, he fell asleep once more, just a ball of blankets and fur.

His ears perked up, and swiveled towards the opened bedroom door when he heard a creek from the front door and voices. Was that Mrs. Lee? Scrambling from out under the bend, his socks slipping slightly on the carpet from his speed, he ran down the short hallway and turned to face the doorway, smiling widely.

“Mrs. Lee?!-“

“Oh my god, is that a fucking stray! Get it, call animal control!” Renjun froze, his body locking up in place. A man and woman stood by the door, obviously not expecting him to be there at all.

The woman held her nose shut with her fingers, while the man cocked his head to the side and walked forward towards Renjun.

“Did you say Mrs. Lee?” The man asked, as Renjun tried to skitter backwards. Turning to face the woman, his voice pitched in confusion, “Honey, did mom have a hybrid?”

“Like we would know, she never even spoke to you. Why on Earth would she tell me?” She scoffed out.

“They didn’t say anything about a hybrid, huh.” He was much closer now, observing a shaking Renjun. “Were you my mom’s hybrid?”

“M-M-Mrs. Lee?” Renjun was able to whisper out, “Were?” The man’s face contorted in sadness.

“Yes, she passed away. Didn’t you know?” Renjun could feel his eyes watering. At this point he had known that that was most likely the case, but having it confirmed still hurt. He shook his head no.

“Whatever, we need to get it out of here so we can go through her stuff. Is there a shelter near here?” The woman began passing through the living room, her arms crossed. “Why is it so dusty in here? Did you not even clean? What kind of hybrid are you?”

His ears pressed flat against his head, and a soft hiss burst through his lips involuntarily.

“Ah! Oh my god! See! He’s wild! We need to get him out of here!” She overreacted; the man just sighed and pulled a cell phone from his pocket. It was the first time Renjun was seeing one in person. They were much bigger than he had previously thought.

“I’ll call the lawyer. Maybe one of the grandkids would want him? Or maybe even my sister-in-law?” His wife scoffed, and began opening and riffling through the kitchen’s cabinets.

Renjun sat at the small table, wrapping the blanket even tighter around himself and trying to appear as small as he could in the corner. Anxiousness flooded his body as he waited to see what would happened next.

Well, what had happened next was someone who claimed they were ‘animal service’, whatever that meant, showed up and tried to coax Renjun to go with him.

Of course, he knew he was never to go outside, so running back into Mrs. Lee’s room, he hid under the bed once more. The man had a weird stick with a loop on the end that he kept trying to stick under the bed, but Renjun’s size was an advantage. It made it far too easy to wriggle away from the other’s attempts to capture him.

The man had mentioned something about someone else maybe adopting him, so why didn’t the people who wanted him just move in and Renjun would stay while he waited for them? If he knew one thing, it was that he wasn’t supposed to leave.

When people went outside the doors, they didn’t seem to come back.

So, Renjun would try his hardest to stay.

Eventually the man exhausted all of his tactics, and Renjun huffed triumphantly, thinking he was free. However, several minutes later, a plethora of men came into the room and began to lift and move the bed in order to uncover him.

Renjun quickly tried to sprint out of the room, but a collar-type contraption circled around his throat. Struggling against it, he couldn’t help but to let his claws out, swinging his arms wildly.

He couldn’t go out! He couldn’t! He’d never come back and it was so, so cold outside.

Feeling a sharp prick in his arm, Renjun gasped and then whimpered. After only a few second, his consciousness began to fade.

As his arms became much harder to swing, he felt as if a block of lead was dragging his body down to the floor. Soft hushes were whispered around him, and a pair of rough hands with a gentle touch held him by the shoulders before nothingness enveloped him.

When he woke up, Renjun found himself in a small, grey room with two beds on either side. The other was completely empty, but the covers on his were extremely scratchy and the pillow very flat. Sitting up, he immediately noticed his back and his neck hurt slightly.

Panic began to trickle through his veins causing him to propel off of the small bed and clamber underneath it. And then he did what he was best at these days.

He waited.

At some point, a man in a long white coat came in and manhandled him out from underneath the bed that provided very little protection in the first place. A couple more people came in after that and held Renjun down while he continued to get poked with needles and had some of the same weird things he had seen the people use on Mrs. Lee, used on him.

“If you had just been cooperative, it wouldn’t have had to have been his hard,” the man in the white coat grunted out, once they finally released him, taking a small vial of his blood with them.

Unfortunately, that became a routine Renjun quickly grew used to.

He would sit underneath the bed alone, waiting. Sometimes he would use the small restroom in the corner, and if he had an appetite he would try and eat a meager amount of the meals they would leave for him in the room every day.

Seemingly out of nowhere, there was a small break in his daily pattern. Another person came in that he hadn’t seen before. She seemed to be a very professional; her glasses kept glinting, catching the light so that the hybrid could barely see her eyes.

Sitting on the other bed, she asked Renjun weird questions like what Mrs. Lee was like? If she had ever mentioned her family? If he knew where he was supposed to go when she had died?

All he was able to do was squeak out a no and cry. Even though he had heard that Mrs. Lee was gone for good, everything had been such a whirlwind he hadn’t really allowed himself to process it yet.

She began to spout off paragraph after paragraph of legal jargon that went right over Renjun’s head.

Something about a will? And how he technically was her property? And that legally that meant she surrendered him, but that since it wasn’t specified the executor would have to decide what to do with him?

None of it made sense, but it all sounded nerve wracking and Renjun did not want to go anywhere again. Especially if it meant being chased and hurt and then passing out. That had sucked a lot.

When the woman got up to leave, muttering something under her breath, Renjun poked his head out slightly from underneath the bed.

“Will… will there be a funeral?” The woman stopped in her tracks and turned to look back him, her face scrunched up in confusion.

“She died almost three weeks ago… so, the funeral already happened a week and a half ago.” Renjun just blinked up at her, as she shook her head and left the room.

So, he couldn’t even say goodbye?

Leaving him alone once more, Renjun was surprised that he still had tears left to cry. The delicate skin underneath his eyes was sensitive and dry, and he didn’t think his eyes had had a moment of reprieve where they hadn’t been puffed up and swollen in weeks.

Grabbing the dingy pillow and blanket off of his bed, he dragged them underneath the cot and decided to sleep there. Since the space was small, he at least felt mildly safe there.

As he drifted off, he thought about the beautiful bouquet of peonies he would have loved to have given Mrs. Lee as a farewell.

Days passed the same way they had before, when he had been left alone as a kitten and when Mrs. Lee had passed away.

Renjun couldn’t help but to think that maybe he was born to be left alone like this? The things he found most pleasure in involved solidarity: his art, his singing, naps.

He figured it wouldn’t be too terribly bad this way.

There were horrible things he had scene on the news that other people and hybrids went through every day. So, he supposed he was lucky.

Mrs. Lee had always turned the TV off or changed the channel when those types of stories were shown. She didn’t appreciate the negativity and Renjun hadn’t been too invested to see all of the tragedies in the first place.

He wondered why he had never heard her speak anything of her family, though. If what the lawyer said about property and giving it to relatives was true, she hadn’t been completely alone in the world. Not like Renjun had been at least.

And not like Renjun was now, again.

That man who had come into their apartment had even called Mrs. Lee his mom… Renjun had not seen a single picture of any of them.

It made little to no sense; if Renjun had a family he would talk about them everyday, unable to stop gushing his praises.

But, he thought back to the other person who had shown up. If his family had been like that one nasty woman, he probably wouldn’t want to talk to them either.

Lost in thought, Renjun startled when the door opened around lunch time. He expected a tray of food, but instead it was just one of the workers, her hands empty.

“Hi there, Renjun? There are people who are here to see you, if you’d like to come out and meet them?”

Go out? Leave the room? Oh hell no, he knew what that meant.

Curling against the wall as close as he could possibly get, his tail thrashed and he hissed lightly. The woman sighed and began to close the door; he could hear her whisper out ‘see I told you he wouldn’t come’ before it clicked shut.

The door reopened several moments later, and when Renjun looked up at the door this time, he didn’t recognize the two men that walked in.

Both of them looked younger than anyone who had visited him so far, and due to their attire he figured they probably weren’t staff of this place. One of them even had bright pink hair which had Renjun wrinkling his nose at the thought. His hair was probably all rough and not soft.

Personally, he prided himself on his very soft hair and fur; it was one of the few things he had confidence in.

The other man was slightly taller and was very muscular with dark hair and a strong face. Honestly, he looked a bit intense and scary.

At least his hair looked healthy.

Looking around the room, they both had a puzzled expression on their faces. The woman from earlier, who had tried to get him to come out, leaned back in and pointed to where Renjun was currently hiding. Following her hand, they simultaneously spotted him, covered under the blanket, only his eyes and ears visible.

“Oh my god, Jeno, he’s so cute I want to keep him,” the pink-haired one whined out, turning and pouting to the other while tugging on his arm.

_Keep him?_

A hiss ripped itself from Renjun at the thought of being kept by two random men who he knew nothing about. It would also involve leaving the small place under this bed where he was just starting to become familiar with. The pink, whiny one looked shocked and took a half step back, while the other, apparently named Jeno, patted his arm comfortingly.

“You don’t even know him, Nana. You can’t just say you want to keep somebody.” Renjun huffed out at that in agreement. He wasn’t an actual pet; sure, he was part Siamese cat, but he was a person too.

Pink boy, whose name was seemingly Nana (which... what kind of a name was that?), pouted before nodding his head.

“You’re right,” he whispered before turning to face Renjun again. “Uh, I’m sorry! I’m Jaemin, and this cutie pie is Jeno!” He introduced himself and the other in kind. Jaemin (a much more normal name) flashed him the most brilliantly bright white smile he had ever seen. Renjun couldn’t help but to lower the blanket slightly and blink in awe. Turning his head to look at Jaemin, Jeno himself smiled in response.

“Yes, hello! I’m Jeno, nice to meet you,” his voice was softer than Jaemin’s, but no less enthusiastic.

When Jeno turned his smile to Renjun, the hybrid was smacked upside the head with familiarity. His smile was pretty, like Jaemin’s, but that’s not what caught Renjun’s attention.

His eyes had turned into pretty and shining half moons, it was nearly impossible to not feel the sincerity behind them.

Renjun pulled the blanket the rest of the way down, and crawled out from the hiding space, to get a better look. The woman at the door gasped in shock at Renjun willingly exposing himself, but the way Jeno looked reminded him of…

Taking a hesitant step forward, both of the other’s smiles had dropped to slightly unsure faces. They had probably heard of Renjun’s past of being shy and not too friendly with others. But, who could blame him.

“Can you… can you smile again?” Renjun breathed out, feeling hesitant.

“Me?” Jeno cocked his head to the side. Nodding in confirmation, Renjun grabbed his tail to hold it in front of his body, helping himself to feel more grounded.

Jeno smiled softly again, but not the same one from earlier. Renjun frowned, his eyebrows furrowing on his face. Jaemin elbowed him gently, noticing the hybrids face drop.

“Smile like normal,” he scolded Jeno.

Trying once more, he smiled bigger and it happened again. His dark eyes looked almost closed, and the little half-moons could be seen once more.

He looked like Mrs. Lee.

Renjun’s eyes welled up before he started sobbing, burying his face into his hands, overcome with emotion.

“What did you do?” Jaemin whispered incredulously, looking to the other. Jeno shrugged, worry painting his features. He stepped towards Renjun, hand outstretched, before changing his mind and pulling his hand back in.

The room was silent besides the hybrids cries and occasional quiet hiccups. Looking back up from behind his hands, he looked to Jeno.

“Y-you look just like her,” he hiccupped out. Jeno’s eyebrows rose in realization before sympathy painted his face. Jaemin, however, was still confused and kept looking between the two.

“Like my grandmother?” Renjun’s red eyes, still watery, observed Jeno’s face as he spoke. The longer he looked, the more similarities between the two he found.

“Mrs. Lee was your grandma?” The hybrid hiccupped out.

Jaemin’s mouth popped open in a small ‘o’ shape as Jeno nodded, turning his head to the side. He put an arm around the taller’s waist, and brought him closer, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Renjun stared in bewilderment; did he just kiss that man on the cheek? What? Maybe they were brothers?

“I’m her grandson, and Jaemin is my partner,” pink hair bounced lightly, as Jaemin sent a wave. “We had no idea my grandma had a hybrid. No one in my family did, actually. Of course, it was kind of hard to contact after…” he trailed off, sharing an emotionally loaded look with Jaemin.

“Partner?” Renjun cocked his head in confusion, wringing his tail in worry.

“Yes. We’re together.” Jaemin spoke confidently, growing taller at the confession.

“Together?” He was still confused. Did they mean like in a relationship? Renjun had never given it much thought honestly, relationships that is. Of course, once a month he would get feverish and he’d find his mind wandering to more explicit things, but the internet said that was normal. Besides it would always pass in just a few days, and all he had to do was hide under the bed until then.

However, on TV and in the newspapers that sometimes they would get in the mail, Renjun only ever saw weddings between women and men. Or kissing between men and women.

“Yeah, we’re like… together, together. Is that okay with you?” Jeno asked softly. Pondering it for a second, Renjun figured why not. It was just love right? They seemed kind of odd but nice enough.

“I mean, I guess. I’ve just never heard of it before. I was confused,” he spoke faintly, before he turned back to sit on the bed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“But yes, my grandma was your owner. We had a meeting with the layer this week… I haven’t been able to talk to my grandma in a really long time. Not since I’ve been with Jaemin. They don’t really approve, you know?” Jeno walked over to the other bed, and sat down across from him.

“Honestly, no I don’t really know,” the hybrid sniffed, eyeing Jaemin warily as he came and sat by Jeno.

“Oh, well, if you have any questions, you can ask. But it turns out my grandma left most everything to me in retaliation for my family cutting me out and,” Jaemin placed his hand on the other’s thigh, squeezing gently, “yeah… It’s a lot. Sorry, I didn’t mean to give you my whole life story.” He smiled again, the smile that was just like Mrs. Lee’s.

“She never spoke about you,” Renjun stated.

Jeno’s eyes flashed with hurt, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, turning to the other and sighing. Renjun felt bad; he hadn’t meant to make him upset. He was just confused is all…

“That doesn’t mean she didn’t love him, or whatever,” Jaemin quipped back. Renjun’s eyes flickered over to the pink-haired boy and he huffed out, his cheeks puffing in response.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just confused. She never talked about any family. I thought she was all alone, you know, like… like me,” Renjun quickly looked at the floor, swinging his feet back and forth trying to will his eyes to stop watering. Was there a specific switch someone could turn off in order to ebb the flow of tears? He felt like a faucet.

“Well, that’s kind of why we’re here? We wanted to meet you and maybe ask you to come and live with us?” Renjun’s ears flattened against his head, and his shoulders hunched over at the thought of leaving and going outside once more. “Only if you want though!” Jeno rushed out, seeing Renjun’s physical response.

“But they’ll put him in a shelter if we don’t,” Jaemin whispered to Jeno. Of course Renjun’s ears picked this up. But, wasn’t he already in a shelter?

“I thought I was in a shelter already?” His tail thrashed, now on edge. If he wasn’t in a shelter, where had he been this whole time?

“Have they not told you anything?” Jeno asked, skeptically. When Renjun shook his head, both men looked to the woman who was still overseeing their meeting by the door. She didn’t even look ashamed, only shrugging in response.

“He’s a stray. He has no owner and he’s extremely uncooperative. We could barely ever get a glimpse of him, let alone get him to listen to anything.”

Renjun’s hackles rose, a small hiss coming out of his mouth. Grabbing the blanket, he quickly ducked down underneath the bed and hissed louder, directly at the woman.

“You made me go to sleep to bring me here, and then you kept poking me. Why would I talk to you?” He punctuated with another hiss; even a low growl worked its way out of his throat.

Looking over to the two sat on the bed, they looked as pissed off as Renjun felt. Staring the woman down, Jaemin rolled his eyes.

“His owner died, he was left in a house alone for two weeks, and then you dragged him to a hospital when it seems like he’s never even been outside before. What did you expect?” The pink-haired boy spoke matter-of-factly. The woman looked stunned at his words, but soft warmth spread through Renjun’s chest.

Exactly! He had been through a hell of a lot; he still didn’t understand what was going on if he was honest.

“Well, Renjun, you’re in a hospital in the quarantine wing because we didn’t know what kind of diseases you might have had. There’s no records of your vaccinations or what shelter she got you from or even where you were found.” She spoke as if it was a script she had memorized, no feelings behind it.

“Do you want to come home with us?” Jeno spoke gently, while Jaemin continued to glare at the woman. “I know this all must be crazy, but at least you could get settled in a nice place while you figured it all out.”

Renjun had no clue what to do. He was engulfed in emotions and strange new information that he didn’t quite understand yet. Thoughts were racing in his head a mile a minute as he tried to process the pros and cons of both choices.

They wanted him to stay with them at their home. He would probably have a much nicer bed than here, and Jeno looked so much like Mrs. Lee it tugged on his heart and made him feel more at ease. Knowing that they were related, he couldn’t be that bad right? But then again, that horrible woman was apparently related to Mrs. Lee too.

And he would have to go outside if he went with them.

On the other hand, if he stayed here Jaemin said he would be sent to a shelter. There could also possibly be a good bed there? But, the way Jaemin had said it made Renjun think that maybe it wasn’t such a good place to be.

And he would also have to go outside if he went there, too.

So, either way he was leaving to go farther than he ever had. Since he didn’t remember coming here, would he also be knocked out again? His hackles rose at the thought of once again not knowing where he was going. 

“I-I don’t like going outside,” Renjun tried to speak strongly, addressing the other two. Raising his eyebrow in question, Jaemin spoke.

“Why not? I mean everyone has to go outside, right?” Jeno shot him a look as the hybrid shrunk back against the wall as much as he could.

How come no one else understood? It had been his and Mrs. Lee’s whole life together.

“It might be scary, Renjun, but one way or another you will have to leave this room again,” Jeno looked sympathetic at that fact.

His breathing became shaky thinking of going outside again. Palms sweating and body starting to shake, he noticed that for some reason it was getting harder to breathe. As his thoughts continued to dwell on the outside and what it would even be like to see it for the first time in so long; a faintness took over his body.

Why did he feel so fatigued?

“Renjun? Renjun? Breathe for me, okay?”

Latching onto the soft voice closest to him, he followed the counts that the voice called out, breathing in and out. A waft of a scent similar to his old home’s smell, hit his nose. His body relaxed at that, his gasps calming as he laid his cheek down onto the cold tile beneath him.

When he began to gather his whereabouts, he looked up and noticed that Jeno was on the floor too, right in front of Renjun. He had his face squashed down in order to be able to see the hybrid. Jeno’s frame was much larger than his own, so he knew he couldn’t actually squeeze under here with him.

Eyes flickering to the left, he saw Jaemin father back also on the ground, with concern on his face. His palms felt less sweaty after a few more breaths; he had no idea what all that was about or what had just happened. But, they had helped.

“Okay, I’ll go with you,” he whispered receiving Jeno’s pretty eye smile once more. The smile that had meant home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to say hi to me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)
> 
> You can also ask me questions/ tell me things on my [curious cat~](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)
> 
> kudos and comments make me smile c: thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoy chapter 2!~
> 
> TW// panic attack
> 
> I don't have a beta so I apologize for mistakes

Jaemin and Jeno left Renjun alone after talking a bit more about what their home looked like and the space they had for him already set up.

Mentally, Renjun was so absolutely exhausted by the end of the visit. There were still papers and other things to be signed and confirmed before he could even leave the hospital.

Leave. Go outside.

He still wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

So, instead of thinking about it, Renjun had his first full night of sleep in almost four weeks.

The next day passed the same, and he was left to wait once again, this time timid excitement bubbled within him though. Jeno and Jaemin had promised that they would stay up and finish all of the paperwork yesterday, no matter how much it was, so that they could get him out of here today.

Breakfast and lunch were finally easy to swallow, and Renjun found himself not crawling under the bed once that day. Was he being too optimistic about this all? It was very possible that that was the case, but being able to hide away in an apartment again sounded like the single best thing that there could be in Renjun’s life right now.

As late afternoon rolled around, his door cracked open once more. His ears were still slightly damp from the shower he had taken earlier. The hospital didn’t have a blow-dryer with a low enough setting that wouldn’t burn his sensitive ears, so he was letting them air dry.

Hopefully, it wasn't too cold outside.

How long would they actually be outdoors anyways? They weren’t… walking were they? What would be worse? Being in a car after so long he doesn’t even really remember what it feels like, or forced to be exposed and in the open _walking_ where anyone and anyone could hurt him.

Maybe he could encourage them to drive instead.

“Knock knock,” pink hair poked through the door as Jaemin came in and shut the door behind him. “I kind of came back here without the nurse. I’m not sure if I was supposed to, but I wanted to see how you were feeling!”

Renjun was still unsure about Jaemin. He had a lot of energy and was, honestly, an absolute stranger. Jeno at least was related to his previous owner, and his soft mannerisms and features made him nostalgic which, in turn, made him feel safe.

Also, Jeno smelt a bit like his home, which he was loathe to admit he wanted to smell again as soon as possible.

“I’m nervous,” he responded curtly. Jaemin nodded and looked away awkwardly, sensing that maybe Renjun wasn’t as keen on him as he was Jeno.

“Well, I hope you really like it! If there’s something you need or want to change about your room or whatever, just let us know!” He smiled his winning smile once more. “Oh, by the way, what breed of cat are you?”

“Uh, Siamese,” Renjun cleared his throat awkwardly. He thought his coloring was pretty obvious seeing as both the tips of his ears and tail were dark brown, but faded to a beige white color. Pretty signature Siamese coloring.

“Ohhhh, cool! I’ve always been more of a dog person, so I don’t know a lot of cat breeds,” he rambled cheerfully. “Our friend, Mark, has the _cutest_ puppy hybrid! His name is Jisung, and I swear he’s just a big baby who I have to protect, you know? Sure, he’s taller than all of us, but he’s the youngest and definitely acts like a child," Jaemin chuckled, looking like he was recalling some memory. "He’s why I really wanted a hybrid, or a puppy, and then you kind of fell into our lap and it’s, like, perfect!”

Pearly white teeth shone back at Renjun who stared blankly at the other.

“I’m sorry I’m not a dog?” Jaemin’s face turned into immediate shock.

“No, no, no! That’s not what I meant,” he lamented. “You’re super cute too! I was surprised you’re actually the same age as us. You’re so tiny I thought you would be as young as Jisung! You’re so cute, I just wanna cuddle and squeeze you!”

Renjun’s face turned to disgust, and he shuddered as his ears flattened. He had only even been cuddled by his previous owner, and even then it was just mostly lying in her lap. Being squeezed sounded horrible.

Right then, the door opened again, with Jeno entering alongside one of the male nurses. When they spotted Jaemin, Jeno let out a sigh of relief.

“We had no idea where you went!”

“I just wanted to say hi to Injunnie!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Injunnie?” Jeno and Renjun asked at the same time, both obviously new to the apparent nickname.

“Yeah, I thought of it last night, isn’t it cute? Just like Injunnie is,” Jaemin cooed while Renjun scowled.

Was it too late to go to the shelter?

“Well, Renjun, you’re ready to go whenever they are,” the nurse interjected. He took a deep breath to try and center himself after hearing that.

This would be the hard part.

Going outside.

He had spent all night trying to hype himself up and to also rationalize the situation. Logically, he would be fine; _everything_ would be fine, in fact. Jeno and Jaemin obviously had to go outside to come here, and they had already done it at least twice. So the journey had to be safe. Renjun also knew that the workers here left every night, and they were all fine. So, he will be too.

Apparently, trying to change what you had thought your whole life in one night was much harder than Renjun had expected.

Leaving the small room he had been quarantined in was the easy part. It was still technically inside of a building, and although it took him almost ten minutes to finally step past the threshold, he had done it!

Jeno grinned when Renjun let out a tiny smile in triumph. The hybrid's face hardened immediately when he saw the male nurse roll his eyes at the situation. Was something wrong with him to be acting this way? He supposes so.

They walked timidly down the hallway to the front lobby, and that was when things started to change for Renjun. No longer did it feel easy, but instead a rush of panic began to simmer low in his gut.

The lobby had large windows in the front; the door was also see-through itself. So, as soon as he stepped out into the room, Renjun was able to see the small parking lot, and beyond that the street that was flooded with cars rolling by. Large buildings stretched as far as he dared to look, and there were people strewn about on the other side of the sidewalk, along with a few outside the door.

Renjun found himself having a hard time breathing once more. This time he clung to Jeno’s arm for dear life. Scrambling for a breath, he tried to ground himself in the other’s sent of home, but it wasn’t helping.

“Renjun?” Jeno whispered, trying to not draw attention to him. The smaller simply whimpered in response, squeezing his eyes shut hard, moisture leaking onto his cheekbones.

If he just didn’t open his eyes it wouldn’t be there, right? If he couldn’t see it, it didn’t exist, right?

He continued to hold his eyes shut, knees on the verge of buckling. Feeling strong arms wrap lightly around his shoulders, Renjun buried his face as forward as he could go into the other’s embrace. The trust he was currently placing in Jeno was nothing short of major, but he felt so helpless that he had no idea what else to do.

“Renjun, is it okay if I pick you up? Just keep your eyes closed, and I’ll get you out of here fast, okay? I promise.” Jeno’s voice was full of sincerity and comfort, helping to keep Renjun from hyperventilating. Without opening his eyes back up, Renjun nodded rapidly.

The other shifted while Renjun still tried to bury himself against Jeno. One arm supported his back while the other dipped to hook beneath his legs. Planting his nose right into the crook of his new owner’s neck, he squeezed his eyes shut so tight they had started to hurt.

He could feel the other taking gentle steps before the temperature changed, followed by the soft dinging of a bell. Coldness rushed past his ears, which were pressed against his tussled, dark brown hair. He had curled his tail across his own torso as his body was wracked with shivers. Most of the shaking was due to fear and not the chill in the air itself.

“Do you want my scarf Injunnie?” He heard Jaemin speak from his left.

Jeno stepped down onto something, which jolted Renjun slightly causing him to cry out in terror. Jeno’s arms tightened even more around the small hybrid. Renjun could feel his pace pick up, just short of a light jog.

A soft beep rung out through the air, barely loud enough to be heard over the sounds of the city. Sounds that Renjun hadn’t heard since he was a child. He felt defeated by all of the new surroundings he had to endure. His sensitive hearing seemed to be picking up every noise within a mile radius, and he was extremely over stimulated.

It was so loud.

Tears began to stain the soft sweater Jeno was wearing, as Renjun felt him shift awkwardly. Clinging harder to him, Renjun could tell that the air had stopped blowing so hard and that it was now much warmer where they were.

“We’re in my car now, Renjun. Do you want me to keep holding you?” A sob broke through his lips when he tried to answer yes.

A gentle hand ran through his hair, tenderly carding its way between the strands. Low vibrations began to sound from Jeno’s chest as well, almost like he was purring. It took him a moment to realize he was just humming a low tune, and the sound began to quell some of his nerves. Jeno also began to stroke the soft fur on his ears in attempt to fight against Renjun's panic. The soft pets to his ears were alarmingly calming, and as he grasped Jeno’s sweater so tightly it was sure to be ruined, he finally began to feel his body stop shaking.

Rumbling came from somewhere, and Renjun felt himself and Jeno begin to slightly shift. Jaemin must have started the car, which means they must be driving right now. Holding the back of his head, Jeno pressed Renjun’s face tighter into his shoulder and hummed even louder, trying to drown out the sounds of the car and of their surroundings.

He tried to focus solely on the things directly in front of him.

Jeno was warm.

Jeno smelt of home.

The soft humming was soothing.

The sweater Jeno was wearing was soft.

Even the gentle motion of the car was sort of calming.

Somehow, between the warmth of the other’s body heat and the soft melodies coming from Jeno, he drifted off.

Rolling on his side, Renjun stretched his limbs out, hearing a few of his joints pop. The blinds on the window were open and let sunlight directly in and onto his bed. Soft covers were piled up around his head, and he truly couldn’t remember the last time he was so cozy.

If the sun was already this far up though, Mrs. Lee would surely be-

His eyes popped open in worry, sitting up and looking around the room.

Currently, he was in a decently sized bed that pressed up against a wall underneath a huge window. The room was fairly empty, only a dresser and cabinet beside the bed. A door was across from him and there was one more on the far side of the wall as well.

Where was he?

Slowly, the events of the day and the past weeks sank back into his mind. Emotions crashed over him in waves as he tried to gather his wits about him.

So, this was probably Jeno and Jaemin’s place. It was obvious by the scent of the two others that seemed to cling to everything around Renjun. Timidly stepping out from behind the covers, he walked across the room and opened the far door, peeking inside.

It was a decently sized closet with a few cardboard boxes and random blankets stuffed in it. The other door must be to the rest of the apartment then.

Feet padding across the beige carpet, Renjun stuck his head out of the door, ears poking straight up straining to hear something that might give the other’s whereabouts away.

A soft rumbling of static, that must have been a TV, was coming from down the hallway. He couldn’t really see much else besides a short hallway with two doors on the other side that must have been other rooms.

Is that where they stayed?

Tentatively walking across the wooden floors, he noticed his shoes had been removed and his feet were only in socks. They must have brought him inside then. Why didn’t Renjun remember any of it? Had he fallen asleep?

At the end of the hallway, he looked to the left and saw a wide open living room and a floating staircase on the wall right next to him that led to another open living space. There was a small open kitchen in front of him to the right, next to what must have been the entrance to the flat.

Large glass sliding doors led out to what looked to be a balcony, past the living room, which had a giant L shaped couch and a flat screen.

Everything looked far fancier than what Renjun had imagined. It looked like a trendy apartment that the main girl in a college drama would live in.

A tinkling of laughter sounded from the upper floor where the sound of the TV must have been coming from. Thumps of feet came closer before pink hair could be seen walking past the stylish railing that blocked off the upper floor. Jaemin began to descend the staircase spotting Renjun in the process.

“Oh, Injunnie! You’re awake!” The fur on his tail puffed up as he retreated farther behind the wall of the hallway. “Uh, did you want a tour? Or are you hungry? You slept for a really long time,” he said as he continued getting closer.

“I’m fine,” his voice crackled before he cleared his throat. Of course, right at that moment, his stomach gurgled loudly, signaling he was hungry. Jaemin smiled mischievously at the sound while Renjun’s face pursed in frustration.

“We have maeuntang if you want it? Hyuck is a cat hybrid and he’s obsessed with it, so we figured you would probably like it, too.”

“What’s maeuntang?” Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Jaemin crossed to the refrigerator and pulled a bowl of what looked to be soup out. Grabbing a small pot and pouring the supposed soup into it, he turned on the heat of the stove.

“It’s fish soup!” Well, Renjun did like fish. “Jeno is working in the office right now. He has to finish up a client’s website by tonight, so you’re stuck with me for a bit!” He exclaimed, radiant smile on display.

As the soup continued to heat up, the scent of it wafted through the loft. Renjun couldn’t help but to swallow as his mouth filled with saliva, watering at the smell. He went to take a step out from the hallway and towards Jaemin, when the sound of a door opening loudly came from behind him.

Renjun jumped high into the air, the fur on his tail fluffing up. When he came back down, his socks made him slip on the wooden floor, tumbling to his butt, letting out a hiss and skittering backwards.

Jeno blinked; his eyes wide and mouth ajar at the display. He had come out from one of the doors in the hallway, startling the hybrid. Renjun’s heart was pounding in his throat as he panted lightly, staring back at the other.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, but that was so adorable! You’re like a real cat!” Jaemin giggled out from the kitchen.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jeno spoke quietly, as to not startle him any further. Once his breathing settled and his fight or flight instincts calmed down, Renjun stood up, trying not to slip once more.

“I’m okay,” his voice softly carried through the open space.

“Are you sure?”

“Foods ready!” Jaemin practically yelled, having turned back around, stirring the pot. Renjun jumped slightly again, fur still puffed out and hissed loudly at the other. Pink hair got into the other’s eyes as he turned to face him, a pout pulling down his pretty features. “What did I do?”

Jeno laughed then, his eyes crinkling, tugging on Renjun’s heart. He joined his partner in the kitchen and wrapped his hands around his waist, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Renjun’s face heated at the sight, and he quickly looked away feeling as if he was interfering and shouldn’t be there.

“Baby, he just got scared by me and then you shouted right after. You spooked him,” Jeno spoke, mirth in his eyes.

“Oh,” Jaemin faced Renjun again, pouting, “I’m sorry, Injunnie.”

“It’s fine, just… please, just stop making that face,” he grimaced.

“But it’s cute!” he exclaimed, pouting deeper. The hybrid couldn’t help the mildly disgusted look that crossed his face causing Jeno once again to smile and chuckle, leaning over to kiss the pout off of Jaemin’s lips. Renjun cleared his throat and stared at the floor, feeling his ears droop and heat up.

“Okay, I’m hungry can we please eat?”

“Of course, Injunnie!”

“Please stop calling me that.”

It turns out that maeuntang was most definitely Renjun’s new favorite thing to eat in the entire world. As they sat around the low table that was in the center of the first floor living space, Jeno and Jaemin looked on with smiles at the way the other had downed the soup. He had asked for two servings and cleaned the bowl both times. Holding himself back from the urge he got to lick the few drops left at the bottom, Renjun couldn’t even think of the last time he was this full.

Mrs. Lee had always had more than enough to eat at her home; she just wanted to make sure Renjun was always healthy. All foods, especially desserts, were served in small proportions. So he had never been full like this before, not to the point where he genuinely thought his tummy might burst.

“Thank you both for food,” Renjun bowed his head lightly in thanks, “Should I do the dishes now?” Jaemin shrugged, looking to Jeno.

“No it’s okay, I’ve got them tonight. You still need to settle into the place. Jaemin, why don’t you show him around?” he mused, receiving a small smile.

“Sure! Alrighty, let’s start with the upstairs and work our way down?” Renjun nodded lightly, trying to stifle cramped groans from his overly filled belly.

He took them upstairs first, showcasing the second living area. This one seemed much more personalized than the neater one downstairs.

There were a few bean bags strewn about and a plush looking couch that had several blankets thrown over the back. Next to the large TV, there was a decently sized shelf full of games and different types of consoles Renjun had never seen.

Jaemin went to open the sliding doors to the balcony, which Renjun declined stepping out to look at, though it did appear rather comfy. It seemed pretty secluded and even had a hammock strung from one side of the ceiling to the other, taking up most of the space. Potted plants were the only other thing on the terrace.

The one door in the upstairs space apparently led to Jaemin and Jeno’s room. They stuck their heads in, Jaemin apologizing for the mess.

It was a very spacious room with a large poster bed in the center and a chaise in the corner. A decent amount of dirty laundry was draped over the dresser and vanity. The other door in the room was opened showing their bathroom, which led Renjun to wonder if that was the only one in the apartment.

“Back downstairs, I’ll show you in a second, there’s a little bathroom there that you can use. But the only shower and bathtub we have is in our bathroom. I hope that’s okay?” Jaemin shot Renjun a worried and hopeful look.

“Oh, okay. I will just bathe when you two are at work. You do work, don’t you?” Renjun turned to the pink haired boy, raising an eyebrow. Jaemin sputtered at the accusation.

“Yes! I’m surprised you haven’t seen me before! I’m a model. Print and commercial,” he spoke, batting his eyelashes. “And I mentioned it a bit earlier, but Jeno designs websites and sometimes works to market products online. It’s really neat. We met when he helped me design my personal portfolio site,” Jaemin sing-songed, his eyes taking on a dream-like quality at the memory.

“Oh. Cool, okay.” Jaemin nodded and gestured Renjun to follow him back downstairs.

He finished the small tour of the space by showing the much larger, bottom balcony, where Jeno’s office was down the hallway, and of course the small bathroom across from Renjun’s own room. He followed Jaemin from a safe distance, shuddering slightly at the sound of the kitchen sink running.

He really hated that sound.

“If you get cold or anything, there are more blankets in the closet. Uh, we don’t have any hybrid safe shampoo or conditioner or anything, so if you tell us what you want, we’ll get it for you!”

“Oh. Okay, thank you.” Jaemin just smiled softly and nodded.

“We really want you to be comfortable here, so if there’s anything we can help you with, just let us know!”

“Yes, absolutely Renjun,” Jeno softly added, as he came around the corner trying not to startle Renjun again. “If you need anything at all, or don’t like something we do or don’t do, let us know and we can work it out!”

Nodding, he told the other two goodnight and slipped into what was now his bedroom. It was already very late. Even though he had slept for awhile earlier, with a fully stuffed stomach and the events of the day, he was very excited to curl up in bed.

He waited until he heard their footsteps leave the hallway before he snuck back out and went into the bathroom across the hall. There were basic things there for him to use, so he quickly got ready for bed.

Snuggling back into the bed he had slept in earlier, Renjun wasn’t able to get comfortable. The unfamiliarity of the space and now that he was alone with his thoughts once more, began to unsettle him.

So, he did what had always made him feel the safest in strange places.

Grabbing all the pillows and the comforter (and maybe three or four of the closet blankets), Renjun buried himself underneath his bed and curled up in the far corner. The small space made him feel more secured and that’s where he found himself finally able to relax and fall asleep.

Soft knocking cut through Renjun’s light slumber. He pried his eyes open, rubbing them with the backs of his hands and yawning.

“Good morning, I just wanted to- Renjun? What the… Renjun!” He heard Jeno’s voice ring out through the room, just shy of shouting.

It was way too early for this.

Stretching his back limbs, he slowly crawled out of his warm nest of blankets and pillows, sticking his face out from underneath the bed. He blinked sleepily and yawned once more, ears twitching slightly.

“Morning,” his voice croaked softly.

“Oh my god. What are you doing under there?” Jeno had a panic stricken look on his face which confused Renjun.

“Babe, what happened?” He heard Jaemin’s feet loudly running from the hallway, before he emerged in the doorframe.

“Renjun just scared me. I thought you had left or something… the room was all empty. I wasn’t sure,” Jaemin ruffled his partner’s hair before looking to where the other was still mostly hidden under the bed. Renjun felt guilt pulse through his stomach at the genuinely alarmed look on Jeno’s face.

“I’m sorry,” his voice barely above a whisper, as he looked at the ground, embarrassed. “I just couldn’t get comfortable last night in the bed…” Renjun’s ears pressed against his head in distress, easily giving away how he was feeling.

“No, it’s okay. I was just worried. I’m glad you’re fine,” Jeno replied, forcing a soft smile onto his face. “Well, uh, yeah. I just came by to let you know that Jaemin has to work all day and I do too, but I’ll be working from home. So I didn’t want you to think we had left you alone in a new environment.” Renjun nodded softly.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me.”

“Well, whenever you both decide to stop acting so overdramatic, there’s breakfast ready!” Jaemin chirped waltzing back to the kitchen.

He was right. Why had Renjun suddenly become so guilty? His gut swarmed with an intense sense of remorse that he hadn’t just slept in the bed.

Well…He really didn’t want to upset Jeno. A.K.A. the man who was the last connection to the comfort of his old life.

Jeno nodded, a slight dip of worry still present between his brows as he turned to go get breakfast. Not wanting to cause any further trouble, Renjun quickly wiggled out from under the bed and stepped across to the bathroom to freshen up.

Walking out into the kitchen, he caught a glimpse of Jaemin softly rubbing Jeno’s back and whispering something to him. Over the sound of bacon crackling on the stove, and the noise of the morning news on TV, he couldn’t quite make out what he had said.

Renjun regretted not changing into PJ pants when he got a small set of chills running up his legs. He was still in his comfy cotton striped shorts and matching long sleeved shirt he had found in the dresser.

“Do you like bacon, Injunnie?”

“Yes, thank you.” He pattered over to the countertop, watching the two men flit around each other. It was like some kind of lover’s dance, the way they moved quickly grabbing things and making food, never once disturbing the other. Honestly, it looked kind of impressive.

Getting a plate, they headed to the same table they sat at for dinner and ate at a bit of a hurried pace, Jaemin claiming he was already late and that someone named Taeyong would be upset if he didn’t leave.

Jeno leaned over and gave Jaemin a quick peck on the lips, his cheeks still stuffed full of scrambled eggs. Even though this was technically the third time he had seen them kiss, Renjun still found himself shooting his eyes away as fast as possible.

Jaemin quickly left to go do whatever it was models did, while Jeno stood up and helped Renjun take the dishes to the kitchen. Jeno set them down gently before turning the faucet on causing Renjun to step back lightly. Eyes growing wide, almost looking like a confused puppy, he quickly flicked the faucet back off.

“Do you not like water? I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it. Hyuck hates water too.” Renjun shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“I just don’t really like running water. At Mrs. Lee’s I would just put them straight into the dishwasher.” They shared a brief somber look, before turning their eyes away.

“Well, our dishwasher isn’t very powerful, so we usually at least rinse them off first. I can rinse them, and then you can put them in? How does that sound?”

“Okay, that sounds fine.” Renjun agreed, placing the plates he had gathered by the sink, before skittering across the kitchen. He didn’t want to be too close to the falling water. That shit was evil; he had no clue how Jeno could just stand there with his hands under it for so long.

Cat genes be dammed.

It didn’t take long for Jeno to finish cleaning off the dishes. Beckoning Renjun over, he briefly explained how to operate the dishwasher and where the cleaning supplies were located for future reference. He also took the time to show the other where certain plates, mugs, and cutlery were located, not forgetting to add that he was free to have anything from the fridge he wanted.

Jeno led him into his work room and up to his computer where a tab from a website was already opened. Apparently, the other had spent all morning going through hybrid hygiene essentials, continuously apologizing that they hadn’t been better prepared for his arrival.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. It’s really not a big deal,” Renjun said, awkwardly shuffling his feet, staring at the long list of brands that meant nothing to him.

“It just should have been so obvious. I can’t believe we forgot,” Jeno frowned. “Donghyuck likes this brand,” he pointed to a bottle on the screen. The packaging was bright gold, and the price next to it was way higher than Renjun thought reasonable. “He likes the fancy stuff, though…”

Nose crinkling, he leaned forward towards the computer to see his options better. It didn’t really matter to him what he got, as long as it worked and smelled good. A soft pink set caught his eye. It said strawberry on it, which seemed like it would be an okay choice.

“Can I get that one?” He said, pointing.

“Oh, the pink one?” Renjun nodded.

“Mhm, the strawberry ones.”

“Yeah of course!” Jeno’s eyes crinkled as he clicked on the item and quickly deposited it in the cart before finding the matching body wash and conditioner. Renjun was sure to smell like a fruit basket now, which he guessed would be fine.

Quickly, after placing the order, Jeno explained that he would be in his office the whole day. He promised he’d order something that Renjun was sure to like for lunch and that they could eat together in the living room.

Jaemin was supposed to be home late in the afternoon and he said Renjun was free to do as he pleased in the house.

Which is the what he had done most in his whole life, hanging out with himself and being alone; it’s single-handedly the best thing he should be equipped to do.

So then why was Renjun sitting in a bean bag upstairs half a second away from chunking the remote to the TV through the balcony door? No matter what he tried, the TV never did what he wanted.

First it pulled up a bunch of small individual boxes of brands of something that Renjun didn’t recognize. Then, when he tried to change the channel, the TV started talking to him and went completely blue. And now, it was telling him to insert some disc?

He just wanted to see if they had the same channels, but it seemed like Jeno and Jaemin didn’t have channels on their TV at all? Not one station had even come up!

Slumping back into the bean bag, Renjun pressed at random buttons on the control once more, hoping to finally figure something out, to no avail. He stared at the screen he started with, and sighed out in frustration.

Asking how it worked wasn’t really an option since both Jeno and Jaemin were working. At least waiting was something Renjun had gotten really good at.

Crawling off the bean bag, he drug his feet over to the plush couch, curling his tail around his body to snuggle into the corner closely. There was a thick white fluffy blanket on the back of the sofa which he quickly grabbed and wrapped himself in.

It only took him a couple of minutes before he was dozing off, bathed in the morning glow of the sun from the windows.

“Hey, Renjun?” A slightly familiar voice called out, waking him from his sleep. Yawning widely, he turned over to face the stairs where he could hear feet approaching. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just going to let you know the food is coming soon and- oh! If you’re done with the TV could you turn it off? It’s not a big deal, we just don’t like to waste electricity.”

Jeno’s tone was kind, but Renjun couldn’t help but to feel bad. Why hadn’t he just turned the dumb thing off?

“I’m sorry. I completely forgot,” he sank deeper under the blanket. “I couldn’t get the stupid thing to work, and I got so angry that I just crawled up here and went to sleep. I really think it’s broken, by the way.” Renjun frowned, emerging again from the blanket.

“Broken? What?” Jeno seemed alarmed and strode over to pick up the remote from the ground.

Clicking a couple of buttons, a cursor went across the screen before landing on a black square with a red ‘N’ inside of it. Jeno clicked on it and it quickly brought up a plethora of what seemed to be both movies and TV shows and… wow Renjun was going to be in a drama binging coma soon.

“Whoa… that’s a lot,” his eyes widened in curiosity.

Flinging the blanket off of himself, he quick scampered across the floor to peek over Jeno’s shoulder, trying to see what buttons he was pressing. Jeno turned his head at the movement, his nose bumping into Renjun’s ear that flicked at the touch. Quickly stepping back at the close proximity, Jeno handed the remote over to the hybrid who was far too entranced to notice.

“Please, can you show me how to work this?” Renjun spoke softly, in awe at all the options of things he would have to do now, never once again worried about being bored. He turned his eyes to Jeno, tilting his head in question.

For some reason, Jeno had a slight pink color across his cheeks and was staring at Renjun with a strange expression that he couldn’t quite place. Clearing his throat, he stepped back closer once more.

“After we eat lunch, I’ll show you how to work it. Is that okay?” Renjun beamed for the first time since Mrs. Lee’s birthday.

“That sounds great, thanks!”

Hours later, Renjun had decided that his two favorite foods were now maeuntang and sushi. Sushi was unbelievably delicious and he was glad he had trusted Jeno to order lunch for them. He was also three hours deep into a show called _The Untamed_ on Netflix, and he was absolutely addicted.

Finding the ‘foreign’ section was pretty easy once Jeno had explained the basics of the controls on the TV, and the plethora of content that was in his first language was a blessing in disguise. Renjun’s Chinese had been getting rather rusty with no one to speak with or a way to even hear it, so the drama was a breath of fresh air.

He was wrapped once again in a plush, furry blanket with only his face and ears visible. His grip was tight, gripping the fluffy inside, as he watched with rapt attention.

A quiet noise came from downstairs that sounded like the front door opening. That must mean Jaemin was home. Renjun floundered for the remote, and pressed the button that would pause the show, which was just so insanely convenient.

Jaemin quickly came into view softly smiling at Renjun, a large fancy looking bag slung across his shoulder. He looked handsome. Of course, Renjun wasn’t blind, both Jeno and Jaemin were handsome men, but this was different.

His pink hair was quaffed up prettily, with a stylish, long coat draped around his body. The crisp button down beneath his coat was open, showing his collarbones and the top of his chest.

Renjun kept staring at Jaemin, raking his eyes across his torso, cocking his head to the side. A weird feeling settle in his abdomen, and it confused him.

“Huh,” Renjun cocked his head the other way, his tail flicking lightly beneath the blanket.

“Can I help you?” Jaemin asked, humor in his voice as he stared down at the other, cocking his hip.

“No, you look different. Why?”

“Oh, I was just styled for today’s shoot is all. They let me take home some of the clothing from the line, so I just wore it out. Do you like it?”

Jaemin did a little spin, truly hamming up the moment while making overdramatic ‘model-like’ expressions. Renjun wrinkled his nose up, the feeling in his gut dispersing.

“No, not really. I mean the coat is pretty but,” he trailed off, shaking his head lightly. Laughing loudly, Jaemin crossed to the door to the master bedroom.

“Well, if you want one, I could probably get one for you. Just let me know, Injunnie!” Renjun turned his face back to the TV, and quickly clicked the button that would unfreeze the show and play it again.

Jaemin joined him on the couch half an hour later, pink hair now damp and changed out of his fancy clothes. He kept asking Renjun questions about what was happening, so he let the other turn Korean subtitles on in order to keep him quiet. Which sort of worked for awhile, but he kept making jokes and his reactions to every single thing were very loud.

The third time, Renjun frowned at the other in frustration making Jaemin coo loudly and lean over to pinch at his cheek lightly. Having had already been on the very edge of the couch already, when Renjun tried to back away from the touch, he landed butt first on the rug beneath them.

There was a loud bump from where he hit the wooden floor, and he squeaked in surprise at the sudden change in altitude.

“Injunnie, are you okay?” His tail ached right at the base, and his cheeks were warmed a bright pink.

“No. My tail hurts,” he murmured out, shifting to rub at his butt.

A door slammed and thumping came from the stairs. Jeno rushed up to the second floor, the same look of fear on his face as in the morning. When he saw a pouting Renjun holding his butt and Jaemin shooting him a soft wave, he sighed.

“I thought something bad had happened,” Jeno said as he walked towards Jaemin who had stretched his arms out, grabby hands in full action.

“No, I pinched Renjun’s cheek and he fell backwards on his tail.”

“Oh? Are you okay?” He grunted as the other two hugged briefly, with Jaemin clinging to his arm as Jeno then tried to get back up.

“I’m okay. Sorry I keep making you worry,” Renjun’s eyes shot to the floor.

“It’s okay! I think we’re all just getting used to each other. It’s normal! Nana, don’t pinch Renjun’s cheeks if he doesn’t want you to.”

“Fine,” Jaemin said pouting before reaching up and pulling on Jeno’s own cheek. He began to complain while the other boy cooed at him the way he had Renjun. A soft smile spread across his face at the sight of the other two.

Things would probably be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos make me smile!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note the explicit sexual tags!
> 
> I don't have a set posting schedule btw. I'm currently a couple chapters ahead of this, so every time I finish another chapter I edit and post one~
> 
> I don't have a beta, so I apologize for any writer errors

The next several days went almost the exact same way. Jeno got used to Renjun being snuggled up under the bed in the mornings, and began to get alarmed less and less by his sometimes strange habits. Like lying on the ground in the sun, getting into Jaemin’s arts and crafts and taking his yarn, and also asking Jeno to turn on the bath water for him.

Baths became his favorite time of the day. He would take his strawberry scented body wash and pour plenty of it in to make piles and piles of bubbles, while he hummed and wiggled his toes in the warmth.

That’s where Renjun was now.

Relaxed in the giant tub in the master bathroom, surrounded by bubbles that smelt of strawberries. Jeno once explained that there were jets that could shoot out water to help ‘unwind’ him, but that sounded like the opposite of relaxing to him.

It became very common for him to take a bath in the early afternoons when Jaemin was still out and Jeno was still at work in his office. It was perfect timing because he didn’t have to worry about bumping into them and he also wasn’t hogging their bathroom space when they needed it.

Because Renjun’s baths were now a whole process.

He could feel himself slowly starting to become spoilt. In his old home, he would just wash as quickly as possible and get out. The first time he had bathed here, both Jaemin and Jeno had been home and were shocked at how quick he was.

Slowly he allowed himself to take more time and pamper himself a bit more. Soaking in the warm water, and thoroughly conditioning his tail, which was the softest it had ever been in his whole life, mind you.

Today was no different.

Toasty water soaked his limbs and he couldn’t help the soft purr that rumbled from his chest, echoing off the tiles in the bathroom. There was a window right above the tub which was letting sun directly inside and warming him even further. It was far too easy to drift off in a light nap.

And so, he did.

It seemed only minutes later when the sound of a door closing woke Renjun from his cat nap. The sun from the window was significantly lower now, and he stretched his arms straight above his head, shivering at the now chilled water.

How long had he been out?

Goosebumps spread up and down his arms as he reached forward and pulled the plug to allow the water to start draining. Grabbing the rag he uses to wipe his tail down afterwards, he grimaced at how cold it had gotten.

No more bath naps; it definitely wasn’t worth it.

Standing up and wringing his tail out, he reached for the plush towel he had set out to dry off with. A strange sound, almost like a bang or a clang came from Jeno and Jaemin’s room. They both must be done with work if they were already up here. Which means it must be almost dinner time.

As if on cue, Renjun’s stomach began to rumble lightly in hunger. He stepped out of the tub and wrapped his body with the fluffy towel and headed over to the counter where the hairdryer was. Drying his tail, ears, and hair was a must. His fur was definitely not short enough to air dry; he would look like a fluffy wreck.

Plugging in the dryer, he heard more noises from the bedroom. Something akin to a painful groan sounded out. He was pretty sure it was Jaemin because of the tone of it too. Had he hurt himself?

Quickly making sure the towel was wrapped around his thin waist and tucked in so that he was covered, he walked over to the wooden door that led to the bedroom. Opening the doors to stick his head out, he was greeted with a sight that he had never seen.

Jaemin and Jeno were both shirtless, which is fine, Renjun himself was currently shirtless. But they were kissing. Well, more than kissing? If the small and loving pecks that had made Renjun embarrassed to see were called kisses.

This definitely deserved a different name.

It looked like the two were starved, and the only food in the world they could find was one another.

Lips were pressed together, moving against one another deeply and passionately. Jeno was on top of Jaemin on their bed, and began to kiss down his neck almost seeming to suck at it.

Renjun heard again what he thought were moans of pain, when Jeno raised a hand to press into Jaemin’s crotch, grinding it hard. The pink haired boy groaned so loudly that the other shushed him.

“You don’t want Renjun to hear, be quiet,” he breathed into Jaemin skin who then exhaled.

“But it’s been so long, you know being quiet isn’t nearly as fun,” he whispered into Jeno’s ear. It was so low, that the only way Renjun was able to hear what he had said was due to his advanced hearing. Jeno brought his mouth to the others in an attempt to quiet the now steady streams of low moans coming from him.

Feeling frozen watching the other two, Renjun’s breath began to increase in pace. Sure, he watched a lot of dramas where the leads had shared kisses, but none of them had ever gotten this steamy.

Did they not know he was still in here? It was way after the normal amount of time that he would normally have spent in their bathroom.

Chills ran across his body. It was hard to tell if it was because he was still soaking wet, or because of the sight of the two other in front of him.

What should he do?

If he said something, they would know he had heard and seen them and invaded their privacy. But, if he hid in the bathroom he would have to listen to them and still potentially be found out. And he wouldn’t be able to dry his fur.

His eyes widened when Jeno stuck a hand down Jaemin’s pants, who bucked up into the touch and grunted.

“Fuck, Jeno,” he said sucking in a breath between his teeth.

Mind racing, Renjun noticed he was feeling extremely warm all over and more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed.

What the hell?

His tail curled around his leg, and as he shuffled slightly backwards a weird feeling of wetness was between his legs.

Why was he so hot? And why the hell did he feel strangely wet down… there?

The heat reminded him of the uncomfortable cramps and fever he went through every month or so. Was that what it was? But he felt different this time.

Squeezing his legs together, he also noticed he was hard. Renjun was a twenty-one-year-old man, so of course he had gotten boners before, but this one felt different. It felt like if he wasn’t touched, and soon, his skin would melt off. He was so hard it was starting to hurt.

When Jeno tugged Jaemin’s pants off, setting his dick free which slapped up against his stomach, Renjun’s legs buckled. His knees hit the floor lightly, and he couldn’t help but to let out soft whines of pain and need.

It was so overwhelming.

Everything was so hot, and all he wanted to do was take off the towel, but he didn’t want to be naked in front of his new owners. Also he’s pretty sure they were about to have sex, not just keep kissing.

The sound of him dropping to the ground caused the commotion and soft noises from the bed to come to a halt. This meant that they most definitely saw him halfway out of the door, wearing only a towel, and shivering with little whines escaping his mouth every so often.

“Oh my god, Renjun! Oh my god, we’re so sorry!” He heard Jeno’s voice through a sort of fog that was clouding his senses. Really he was just so unbearably hot and uncomfortable and wanted to curl up in a ball and either sleep or cry.

His legs continued to shake as he stared at the ground, feeling the wetness now start to run down the insides of his legs.

“Injunnie, we’re sorry! We didn’t know you were still in there,” Jaemin called, while shuffling was vaguely registering in Renjun’s mind. He saw two pairs of legs rushing towards him, Jeno lowering himself on his knees.

At the closeness, Renjun let out an ungodly and wholly embarrassing whine that he knew he would never live down.

“It’s hot,” he gasped out, trying to communicate that he was pretty sure he was going through that hormonal thing that all hybrids did, but this time was significantly worse and different from the past times.

“Are you in heat? Are you okay Renjun? What do you need?” He felt one of them place their hand gently on his bare back for support, which sent shivers down his spine and up his arms.

Looking up, he saw Jaemin staring down at him in concern. Renjun’s ears were pressed flat to his head as he shook and parted his lips to stare at the other, eyes shiny. Jaemin flushed a deep crimson before cleared his throat and looked to Jeno.

“We should call Donghyuck, like, right now,” Jaemin spoke awkwardly to Jeno who nodded in return.

“Come here,” Jeno spoke softly edging towards Renjun who was more than willing to go into the bigger man’s arms. As he was lifted from the ground, Renjun let his head hang back, exposing the long column of his neck as he tried not to pant like an absolute animal.

The towel was slowly slipping, so Jeno grabbed on it to make sure it didn’t fall. He was very grateful for that, but the angle with which he was carrying him, meant he grabbed the side of his ass.

Which felt both horribly embarrassing and like the most arousing thing someone could ever do. So, once again, Renjun embarrassed himself by letting out a low moan, his head flopping to the side to make eye contact with Jaemin.

“Did you not even get to dry off? You’re soaked Renjun,” Jeno said as the descended the stairs.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he sniffled, eyes still locked on Jaemin who had gotten his cell phone out to make a call. “I feel so weird and I’m, like,” he could feel heat radiating off every inch of his body in embarrassment, “wet…” He whispered the last word out.

His confession caught Jeno by surprise who, stumbled slightly down the hallway, having to grab Renjun tighter who continued to stifle moans at the touch.

“Don’t worry. You’re probably just in heat, right? This isn’t your first one, is it?” Jaemin called from down the hallway. Renjun shook his head as they entered his bedroom.

“No, but it’s never been like this before,” he panted, immediately crying out as soon as Jeno placed him on his bed and he moved away so that he was no longer touching him.

“What? What happened?” Jeno came close again, placing the back of his hand to Renjun’s forehead. The heat seemed to quell and his neediness didn’t feel nearly as bad when he was close.

Looking into worried eyes, Renjun let himself blink slowly, before turning to look at his mostly exposed body. He brought his arms up in order to cover his chest, which immediately made him too hot. Jaemin entered the room, phone in hand, chatting away.

“He says it sounds like a typical heat,” Jaemin explained, leaning his mouth away from the phone.

“What does he suggest?” Jeno questioned. Holding up a finger, the other turned back to the phone to ask.

“What do you mean what caused it? No we weren’t- no I’m not lying! We just- okay. Okay! Yes he saw us okay, is that what you want to hear?” The heat of embarrassment colored Jaemin’s cheeks as he frowned, annoyed at whoever was on the other side of the phone. “So what do we do?”

If Renjun thought Jaemin was embarrassed before, he was proven wrong when the other’s eyes shot over to him lying on the bed breathing harshly, grabbing at the sheets. His eyes then shot to Jeno who was looking on in confusion. Jaemin sighed in frustration.

“I don’t care what YOU do with Mark! We’re not going to!” he paused listening to the other side before looking offended. “Yes, I’m sure!” He turned to face the opposite side of the room so they could no longer see his face. When Jeno went to stand, Renjun couldn’t help the whine that clawed its way through his lips again.

“Hot,” Renjun gasped out.

“Jaemin, what should we do?” Jeno’s eyes darted back and forth between the two.

“Okay, yeah. Whatever, bye.” Jaemin hung up, and faced the other two once more, his face still flushed. “He suggests that we should load him up on water and make sure he eats. Check in on him for the next couple of days.” Jeno nodded at this, but Renjun wasn’t sure if that was the best thing they could do.

“There’s no way to make it stop? It’s never been like this before,” he squirmed on the bed as he felt his legs slide together from the wetness.

“Donghyuck said that… he said that you should just do whatever feels good,” Jaemin said, averting his eyes.

“Oh,” Jeno’s mouth popped open.

“Can I have some water then?” Renjun whispered, head pressed into the bed, his chest lightly smattered with pink and he could feel himself start to really sweat. He lamented that he had just taken a bath too.

“Yeah, of course!” Jeno said, rushing out of the room and down the hallway.

Renjun squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to face the ceiling. He could feel his claws start to tear at the sheets lightly, so he quickly released them. Spreading his knees open in order to avoid the gross wet feeling between his legs, he could feel eyes on him.

When he looked up, Jaemin was looking at him almost like a predator. His eyes had grown dark, as they raked over his body and something about it triggered Renjun’s animal instincts. A soft mewl came from his lips, as he offered his neck and spread his legs even wider.

“Oh god,” he heard Jaemin choke out before also leaving the room, his hands covering his face in embarassment.

It felt like hours until cold water was being pressed to his lips, which he drank greedily. Soon a cold washcloth was pressed to his forehead, which also felt amazing. The hotter his body got, the less coherent he felt.

At some point he felt a pillow being pushed under his head and another towel being placed under his body, before his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing finally seemed to calmed down.

Renjun awoke much later, his body hot and his throat dry. One quick look around the mostly dark room, he saw several bottles of water stacked on the dresser next to his bed while the closet light was on. His bedroom door was closed and looking to the clock on the wall, he saw that it was just past midnight.

Groaning at the heat, he rolled over, the soft sheet that had been on his body tumbling off to the ground. His senses seemed to be heightened; he could smell the lingering scents of both Jaemin and Jeno in his room.

They must have been in to check on him.

Perhaps he should have done more research when it came to, what had they called it, his heats? He knew that this was due to the hybrid part of himself, but the level it was reaching this time was definitely a first.

At least, after resting a bit he felt more in control of his body. The overwhelming feeling of need and want was at least mildly subdued.

A towel was still placed underneath him, which was uncomfortably damp, causing him to groan in disgust at the feeling. He was still awkwardly slick between his legs and wasn’t sure what to do about it all.

Maybe he should take a cold bath.

Shifting to stand, he grunted at the feeling of his muscles stretching out. They felt as if he had been stagnant for days, not just a few hours.

Grabbing a large shirt Jeno had given him and a pair of his own underwear, he crossed the hallway to clean himself. Sticking a bath cloth underneath the sink and quickly wetting it, staying as far away from the water as possible, he patted some of the sweat from his body off.

Ideally, he would be able to go up to Jeno and Jaemin’s room and soak in the tub, but them seeing him again in this state was downright mortifying.

Renjun couldn’t help but to recall how they truly sent him into whatever kind of strange sexual spiral that this was. So, no matter how enticing the bath sounded, he would have to make do with his impromptu sink shower.

Honestly, he felt infinitely better than when he first did when his “heat” had hit. The warmth that had spread its way underneath his skin was currently at a mild tingle, and his head felt much clearer.

After wiping himself down to the best of his ability, Renjun began to make his way back to his room.

When he exited the bathroom, he caught a flash of pink hair down at the end of the hallway. Jaemin quickly turned back and peeked around the corner blinking widely.

“Injunnie, are you feeling better? Would you like to talk to Donghyuck? He said he could give you some tips to help get through this?”

Renjun sucked in a deep breath between his teeth at the deep, melodic voice of the other ringing its way down the hallway. The fire in his belly returned in an instant, begging for contact and comfort.

As dampness once again began to settle between his legs, Renjun flung himself across the hallway and into his room where he swiftly slammed the door closed, leaving a very confused Jaemin still peeking down the hallway after him.

He slid down the door, his back against it, before his butt hit the soft carpeting of the floor.

All sweat that he had been able to wipe off his skin quickly returned. His brow became damp at the heat as he squeezed his eyes shut tight in frustration.

Why was it so different this time? Was this even the same thing he had been going through every month?

Shifting to stand, Renjun gasped lightly as he realized that he was horrifically hard once more.

“What the…” He rasped out, limping to his bed, where he put a new towel down before sitting.

Soft knocking came from the door, causing Renjun to snap his head up in concern that one of them would enter and see the mess he was becoming all because Jaemin spoke a few sentences to him.

“Don’t come in!” He was able to squeak out before either of them entered.

“Injunnie, do you want me to call Donghyuck? Are you hungry?”

The words Jaemin were saying were absolutely plain and in no context ever could be found attractive or suggestive. But, Renjun found himself panting listening to the soft voice that drifted from the other side of the door.

His erection jumped in his underwear, so he reached down to grab himself harshly instantly groaning.

“Are you okay?”

“Peachy, just… please stop,” Renjun tried to tell the other to go away, as a new bout of wetness leaked from him.

“Stop what, baby?”

Renjun groaned so loudly at the term of endearment, there was no mistaking it for anything but unbelievably lewd.

Quickly shoving his shirt and underwear off to try and cool him, they hit the ground of his bedroom. An overwhelming sense of emptiness rolled over him in waves.

Both emotionally and physically.

Laying down across his sheets, Renjun tried to think of every unattractive thing in the world.

Bugs.

Expired food.

An off key piano.

Jeno and Jaemin on top of one another, looking breathtakingly attractive.

Throwing his head backwards, he grunted in annoyance.

He couldn’t help himself from tentatively reaching down between his legs to prod at the wetness there. The first time he timidly touched his rim, Renjun was close to cumming immediately. Apparently, he only needed the smallest amount of attention there to really rile himself up.

There were two voices in the background that Renjun vaguely recognized as both Jeno and Jaemin, but he had more important things at hand. Like how good it felt to touch himself like this, and how as he continued to prod at himself, the overwhelming hotness that had begun to hurt in his body would quell slightly.

Gingerly pressing harder, the first bit of his pointer finger sunk into him slowly, causing him to throw his head backwards and let out a guttural moan as he came in ribbons across his own stomach.

Sparing no time for embarrassment, Renjun continued to push his finger into himself, suppressing the physical empty feeling that had been wracking his body slightly. Even though he had just orgasmed, he was still completely hard. In any other setting, Renjun might have been impressed at himself, but feeling full was his current top priority.

Slowly, he began dragging his finger in and out of himself, setting an extremely slow pace that caused his erection to leak precum at each push as if he was already going to unfurl once more.

As his strokes slowly increased, whimpers were lightly punched out of him while he brought his knees closer to his chest trying to get deeper.

It didn’t take long for Renjun to cum once more, adding to the mess of fluids across his body. He felt marginally satiated, and the heat and overwhelming emptiness had lightened significantly.

Damn, maybe he should do this more often then.

Reality came crashing back when once more a voice rang from the other side of the door.

“R-Renjun?” Jeno called softly, clearing his voice. “Hyuck said you would need lots of fluids, so we went ahead and left some water outside of your door for whenever you’re... uh, done?”

This time Renjun’s body heated up for a completely different reason. Awkwardness hung in the air while the other two were probably waiting for his response.

“O-oh, okay,” he replied, his voice crackling slightly.

Footsteps could be heard down the hallway, as Renjun sat in his bed panting, staring at the ceiling. Had they heard him the whole time? He had been so wrapped up in everything he had no idea how loud or quiet he had actually been… Maybe he should talk to this Donghyuck person and get some advice.

But for now, tiredness rolled through Renjun once more before he cringed at the cold feeling of his releases on his stomach.

He wiped himself to the best of his ability before yawning widely and deciding that he could deal with all of this in the morning.

A little less than two days later, Renjun finally stopped feeling the rush of arousal and warmth.

Thank God.

Most of the time, everything passed in a whirlwind of lust and constant heat. At least he had been able to figure out how to help dull the strange feelings.

But now was the impossible part. He had to go out and face the other two.

It had been almost a full three days of Renjun holed up, covered in fluids, in his bed. He was positive there was no way he had been quiet the whole time, and the thought of seeing how his two owners would look at him, made him shiver in embarrassment.

Plus, he had to have smelt pretty badly by now.

Jeno and Jaemin had been nothing but kind to him. They had left water and food outside of his door that Renjun would pick up on the way to the bathroom when he felt gross and needed to wipe himself down again. A small pile of used bath cloths had accumulated next to the sink due to that.

His stomach rumbled violently after he had spent a couple hours in his bedroom stalling and staring at the ceiling for close to an hour. Yes, he had eaten over the past days, but he was craving a giant meal that would leave him stuffed to the brim. This whole thing had made him feel as if he had just done a triathlon before sprinting to the moon and back.

Putting on a brave face, Renjun found the biggest hoodie in the depths of his dresser in order to hide as much as possible, before throwing on clashing pink sweatpants Jaemin had given him.

Poking his head out of his door, Renjun ran his hands through his hair, straining his ears in order to see if he could hear either of the boys.

For the most part, the apartment seemed extremely quiet. Only soft sounds of the laundry and the heater running could be heard.

If he was lucky, maybe they would both be out at work and he could sneak a quick bath in and at least look like a real person before he had to confront the awkwardness of the past days.

Pushing the door the rest of the way open, he tip-toed down the hallway. He was met with an empty kitchen and an empty living room. His heartbeat started to level as his tail took up a calm swishing motion in relief.

Time to scour the refrigerator!

Hopefully they made food and there were leftovers Renjun could heat up quickly.

After trotting around the kitchen, collecting foods and humming lightly, the sound of a key being inserted into the front door echoed off of the wooden floor and into Renjun’s sensitive ears.

He paused in fear, holding a bottle of banana milk in one hand, a bag of ramen in the other, and a slice of bread settled between his teeth. Eyes locked on the door as it opened revealing Jeno, he waited for the awkwardness to begin. Jeno was on the phone, having a phone call that he seemed exasperated at.

“No Mark! It wasn’t like what you’re describing, like, it was inten-“ Jeno looked up, after closing the door and turning to face the kitchen.

Renjun blinked widely at Jeno who froze in his place, a small ‘o’ shape on his lips from surprised.

“I’ll call you back,” Jeno spoke quickly as he hung up and pocketed his phone. A smile that Renjun had begun to associate with safety spread across the others face, his eyes crinkling.

“Renjun!”

Setting down his banana milk, the hybrid removed the bread from his mouth in order to respond.

“Uh, hi Jeno,” his voice came out soft and shaky. Jeno walked passed him towards the pantry, grabbing a snack.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better! If you’re hungry, I can always order you some takeout?” He looked at the other with question in his eyes, his head tilted so his black hair flopped lightly on his forehead.

“Oh. Well, yes. I’m really hungry for some reason.”

“Okay. How does hot pot sound? I know Hyuck said he always gets starving afterwards. I just wasn’t sure how long you would be out of commission,” he commented as he reached for his phone.

“Oh, right. He’s the other cat hybrid?” Jeno nodded, eyes smiling once more. “I think,” Renjun cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly, “I think I’d like to talk to him. You know about the stuff.”

“Sure! I can get him to come over or you could just use my phone to call him with. I haven’t had time to get you a phone yet,” Jeno realized, pouting. “I’m sorry.”

“It-it‘s no problem, really. Seriously. I, um, thank you.” Renjun looked to the floor, the bag of ramen hanging limp by his side.

“For what?”

“For taking care of me,” he whispered. Jeno crossed to the hybrid, garnering his attention only to send him another winning smile.

“You’re welcome. What kind of people would we be if we didn’t help out our friend?”

_Friend?_

Renjun felt like there was something to unpack there, but shook his head and focused on finishing the banana milk he had opened instead. Were they friends? They technically owned Renjun, but… friends?

A couple hours, a crap load of hot pot, and a **much** needed bath later, Renjun was curled up on the couch upstairs watching more Netflix. Jeno had gone back to work after they had eaten lunch and informed him that Jaemin would be home before he finished his own work.

So, he wasn’t surprised when he heard the door open slightly into the evening, signaling the pink haired boy was back home.

Breathing out a tense sigh, Renjun curled even further under the fluffy white blanket, only his eyes and nose peeking out still able to see the TV.

Sure, Jeno had been very easygoing about the whole thing, but from what Renjun had gathered living with the two over this short amount of time, Jaemin tended to have much bigger reactions. The embarrassing scenarios of what was going to happen ricocheted through his mind as he heard soft humming coming up the stairs.

Spotting the other, a wide smile spread across Jaemin’s face.

“Injunnie! Nono told me that you were up and feeling better today! I’m glad to see you, I missed you!”

“Missed me?” Renjun asked, puzzlement on his face, as he let the blanket slip past his ears. “I was just in my room, and it was only for like three days…”

“Exactly!” The other pouted in frustration, “I missed watching your show with you in the evenings!”

Shuffling to his bedroom and setting down his bag, Jaemin came back into the upstairs living room and plopped down on the opposite side of the large couch, staring at the TV.

“Oh! This is that same show, right? The.. uh, The Untamed? Right?” He asked smiling softly at Renjun who couldn’t help but to smile back.

“Yeah, it is. It’s at a really intense part, but…” chewing the inside of his cheek nervously, before scratching his head, Renjun hit the back button on the remote. “If you want, I can start this episode over? So that you can see what you missed? If you want?”

Jaemin looked as if God himself had descended down from the heavens and blessed him with eternal youth, unending safety for all of his loved ones, and every last hope and dream he had ever wished would come true.

“I would be honored,” he sniffed slightly.

“Jaemin… are you crying?”

“No!”

“It’s just a TV show.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fell free to ask me questions/ tell me things on my [curious cat~](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated!~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four is here! I struggled a bit with editing this one, going back and forth on a few plot things I wasn't sure were necessary to include or not. Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> And once again, it's just me, myself, and I reading and editing these, so I apologize for mistakes!

It was finally the weekend.

Renjun realized he only knew this because both Jeno and Jaemin had told him so. He then asked if it was okay if he got a calendar for his room, which made Jaemin pull out his phone in a rush, quickly searching Amazon for one to order.

Jeno asked Renjun if he wanted to accompany him to the phone store. He was planning on ‘finally’ picking out Renjun his own cell phone so that he could contact either of them if need be, and also because it’s ‘fun to have one’ according to Jaemin.

But, with no surprise to anyone, he quickly declined the invitation. Jeno just sent him his smiling eyes and a nod of his head in response before heading out.

It had been a little over a week since Renjun first arrived, and even though he saw that smile most days, he still got slightly awestruck by the similarities between Jeno and Mrs. Lee.

He, honestly, had not really processed what had happened to him still. It was even harder considering he hadn’t gotten an official goodbye to her either.

Jaemin followed Renjun upstairs as he turned Netflix back on, and they started their show once more, while Jeno was out.

But, he couldn’t focus on the screen.

Renjun found his mind wandering to everything going on even still. It seemed as if the past several weeks had been long stretches of absolute loneliness with a couple days of extremely intense activity between. He was pretty sure he was on his way to getting whiplash.

He knew that Jeno and Jaemin couldn’t give him all the answers he wanted and needed, but he had to start somewhere.

When he heard the pink-haired boy next to him gasp at something on the TV, Renjun turned to him and paused the show promptly.

“Hey! Why did you pause it? Lan Zhan and Wei Ying were totally about to kiss! Do you see that sexual tension?” Jaemin pouted, arm outstretched towards the TV.

“I asked Jeno, but when can I talk to the other cat hybrid?” Renjun asked, staring at the now slightly confused other.

“Oh. Oh! Uh, when do you want to?” He shifted to face Renjun, his face turning more neutral, picking up on the sudden change in atmosphere.

“It’s just… I’m still really overwhelmed. And I’m still not completely sure what happened to me? I need some answers. I feel like I’m about to go crazy,” he whispered out the last part, cursing himself internally for the way his eyes started watering.

Jaemin scooted over closer to him on the couch, gently placing a hand on the other’s back. When Renjun didn’t immediately hiss or jump, he moved his hand in soft comforting circles.

“We were wondering how you were still processing it all. Thank you for telling me,” Renjun nodded, sniffing once. “If you want, I can text him right now and see if he’s free today? Or tomorrow?”

Renjun nodded, feeling a bit of relief at that, knowing he might finally get some clarity.

Sure, he wasn’t the best at meeting new people. Most cat hybrids were a bit standoffish anyways, so he figured they would at least both be a bit calm and shy about it at first. All the other’s he had grown up with had demure personalities. He wasn’t worried about meeting someone too over the top.

He should have been worried.

Several hours later, come early afternoon when Jeno was explaining exactly how to use a gif for the second time to Renjun, loud rapping knocks came from their door.

“That must be Hyuckie!” Jaemin chirped, standing up from the couch and skittering over to open the door.

In the doorway was a tan, very pretty, cat hybrid. Renjun though he was probably a maine coon because of how tall his ears were, and how fluffy his tail seemed. Jaemin quickly enveloped the hybrid in what looked like a suffocating hug, picking him up and twirling him around, exposing two other people behind him in the hallway.

“Put me down you pink buffoon! I just got my tail blown out this week and you’re going to ruin it!” The hybrid who must be Donghyuck yelled, struggling to wiggle away from the hug.

Renjun couldn’t help but to flinch at the loudness that suddenly engulfed the apartment.

“But I haven’t seen you in so loooooong!”

Annoyed grunts of struggle and sappy whines from Jaemin were carried throughout the apartment, while a human stepped around them both and waved at Jeno and Renjun on the couch. He had short dark brown hair, and was slightly taller than Donghyuck. Behind him was another hybrid, but when Renjun looked closer, he noticed it wasn’t a cat hybrid.

It was a very tall, taller than even Jeno, dog hybrid. He looked like he might be some kind of Australian Sheppard breed, but that didn’t matter to Renjun.

He had seen other types of hybrids on TV, in the papers, and now even on Netflix and the internet, but he had never met one in person.

Especially a dog. A very tall dog.

Renjun’s hackles rose, his ears flattening as his shoulders hunched up. He hissed loudly, garnering everyone’s attention, before he sprinted up the stairs and flung himself into Jeno and Jaemin’s room, immediately hiding under the bed.

Why hadn’t they told him other people would come? Especially a dog hybrid?

Heavy thumping footsteps from outside the room echoed off of the wooden floors, signaling someone’s approach. Preemptively protecting himself, Renjun slunk backwards to the dead center of the large bed, knowing no one could reach him from here. No one’s arms were long enough to reach him.

“Renjun? Are you okay?” He heard Jeno’s voice call to him from next to the bed. Renjun only hissed in return, angry at his owners for keeping this from him.

“Why is he scared? Hey! What’s wrong, what happened?” He heard the hybrid named Donghyuck call out, before his face appeared, upside down, to Renjun underneath the bed.

Their eyes met one another, almost softly glowing in the lack of light under the bed. Renjun couldn’t help but to glare, trying to send a warning to stay away, his hackles raised.

The other hybrid ignored his attempt at being threatening and began to wiggle his way over to where Renjun was trying to hide, which made him even more on edge. He hadn’t thought the would try and sneak under here to get to him.

“What happened? Was it Jisung? The dog hybrid?” Renjun couldn’t hold back the hiss that escaped his lips, causing Donghyuck to roll his eyes. Rude. “He’s literally a big baby puppy. You don’t have to be worried about him. I mean, like, I get it. But, seriously he’s nothing to worry about.”

“Why should I believe you? I don’t even know you?” Renjun retorted, pressing himself further against the wall.

“Because I live with that giant puppy everyday and I’m the one who is in charge of the house, not him,” he smirked triumphantly.

Renjun’s tail swished curiously back and forth, his ears still flat. Was this true? The other did seem physically fine. There were no obvious signs of fighting or being attacked on his body.

“They didn’t even tell me other people were coming, though. And it’s my first time seeing a hybrid that isn’t a cat. Can you really blame me?” Renjun countered, annoyance seeping into his voice.

Donghyuck scrunched his eyebrows at this before wiggling himself backwards to edge out from underneath the bed. As the other hybrid stood up, and all Renjun could see was feet, a resounding _thonk_ could be heard.

“Ow! Hyuckie!” Another _thonk,_ not quite as sharp, followed.

“What was that for?” He heard Jeno ask, voice slightly strained.

“You didn’t even tell him other people were coming? Let alone a whole ass dog hybrid? Wow, you guys really are clueless,” he heard the hybrid sigh. “What would you do without my intelligent self around?”

After confirming that the other two people were gone, and only Jeno, Jaemin, and Donghyuck were left in the apartment, Renjun begrudgingly came out from underneath their bed. Only going so far as to stick his head out, he eyed the three with trepidation.

He was greeted with sad eyes from both Jeno and Jaemin, though Jaemin was more of the verge of pouting, and the other hybrid with his arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.

“We’re sorry, Renjun. We didn’t think ahead. We’re just so used to Mark and Jisung coming along with Donghyuck,” Jeno lamented.

“And Jisung is just a little cutie baby who could never do anything wrong, ever!” Jaemin whined out.

“I can’t believe you’ve spent so much time with me and still know absolutely nothing about cat hybrids,” Donghyuck huffed. Jaemin looked affronted, but Jeno scratched his neck, embarrassed.

“You’re right though. Neither of us grew up around hybrids, and we definitely didn’t have any so… it’s a bit of a learning curve I guess. I’m sorry Renjun.” Jeno’s eyes were wide and imploring. Renjun shot his gaze to the ground, slightly flustered at the honest sadness he saw there. He had been angry and upset with the two, but after just one look from Jeno, he suddenly felt all his fire peter out.

“Injunnie! I promise I will always tell you everything now! We’re sorry,” Jaemin batted his eyelashes expectantly. What Renjun was quickly recognizing as Jaemin’s signature pout pulled at his lips, causing Donghyuck to scoff.

“It’s okay, I guess. Just please tell me next time?” He spoke softly as he finally pulled himself away from the safety of his hiding spot, standing.

“Of course!” Jaemin cheered smiling, opening his arms for a hug which Renjun just blinked at in confusion.

Donghyuck began to laugh heartily at the sight of Jaemin being denied a hug. Renjun wasn’t sure what was so funny, but the other hybrid’s laugh was infectious and caused a smirk to tug at his own lips. Clapping his hands together after catching his breath, Donghyuck turned to Renjun, game face on.

“Alright. Well, it’s nice to officially meet you then.” Renjun blushed, realizing that they haven’t even introduced themselves.

“Ah, right. I’m Renjun.”

“Yeah. That much I figured out using my deductive reasoning skills.” When the hybrid rolled his eyes this time however, Renjun found himself smiling at the same time as Donghyuck. “Okay, let’s go to your room?”

Nodding, he began to leave his two owners, who were still slightly dejected, in their room. He quickly pulled the other hybrid down the stairs and then turned the hallway to lead him to his own space.

“I expect snacks by the way!” Donghyuck called loudly over his shoulder before entering behind Renjun and shutting the door. Quickly bouncing over to Renjun’s bed, the hybrid plopped himself down on top of his small pile of cozy blankets.

“You’re a bit more energetic and outspoken than the other cat hybrids I remember.” Donghyuck cocked his head to the side.

“Hm. Maybe. But, thinking that all cat hybrids have to be moody and quiet is a bit stereotypical, don’t you think? I mean even cats themselves aren’t all like that.” Renjun thought about that. He hadn’t had much experience with pets himself, but he supposes that Donghyuck is right anyways. It’s not like he had gotten out enough to find out for himself.

“That makes sense,” Renjun replied, sitting down into the plush carpeting, crossing his legs. “I haven’t met any other hybrids since I left my adoption shelter.”

“Ah, that makes more sense then. Shelters do seem to be a bit stifling when it comes to personalities. I came from a hybrid daycare! Slightly more ethical, but still fucking weird when it comes down to it,” he shuddered.

“More ethical? What do you mean?” Donghyuck fixed him with an incredulous stare.

“Do you not think it’s weird that scientists made part animal part humans and then began to sell them and show them off as more ‘compatible’ partners, while simultaneously making sure we still maintained our ‘need’ and ‘want’ to be bred or to breed?” His voice continued to rise as he spoke, now leaning forward towards Renjun instead of lounging back.

Honestly, Renjun had seriously never thought about it before. He had enjoying living in his calm surroundings that revolved around a very straight forward schedule.

“I’ve never really put much thought into it,” he shrugged, voice full of candor.

“How could you not? It’s your whole being? Like, sure, we are treated a hell of a lot better nowadays, but we still have to basically be owned to even matter much.” Renjun scrunched his eyebrows in thought.

It was strange having someone poke holes in the way you had lived your whole life. Maybe not poke holes, so much as finally pulling back a thick curtain and wiping the dust off of the windowsill.

“I haven’t been outside to actually _see_ the world in, like, twelve years. I had never needed to think about it. Helping Mrs. Lee was more important. And before that,” Renjun paused looking at the floor. “Well, I was more concerned trying to get some love and attention, I guess? This is why I wanted to talk to you. I mostly wanted to know about what was going on with me biologically, but I probably would have never even thought of these things otherwise.”

“I told you, I’m an intellectual. You are now included in the certain circle of people who would be hopeless without me,” he pretended to flip his hair, his tail swishing proudly in the air. Renjun smiled at Donghyuck, and decided that he really liked him.

“Well then, self proclaimed genius, I have some questions.”

“Okay, shoot.”

A couple of hours later, after Renjun had gotten a more in depth lecture of the rights he should have already been fighting for, and how sad it was that he had just discovered Netflix, Donghyuck was walking to the kitchen to chase down snacks.

“Nana, where are the snacks?” Donghyuck called, crossing to open the pantry, sticking his head inside.

“What kind of snacks do you guys want?” Jeno asked, coming to the railing of the upper living room to peek down at the two.

“Either fish, or something sweet,” sharply nodding at his own choices, Donghyuck turned and looked at Renjun. “Do you know where the good stuff is?”

“Honestly, I usually just eat Jaemin’s cooking, or someone will order take out for me.”

“You don’t even choose food yourself?!” Donghyuck gasped loudly, clutching his heart as if Renjun had personally wronged him. “There’s so many things to try, and you let these weirdos pick for you?!” This time it was Renjun rolling his eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic. I don’t know what’s around and what’s good anyways. They’ve always given me yummy things, so,” Donghyuck held up a hand to shush him.

“You got a cell phone today, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Okay, follow me. I’m about to change your life.”

Jeno fetched Renjun’s new phone, and handed it over to Donghyuck who quickly went about downloading certain things, while simultaneously annoying Jaemin to make them something to eat.

He showed Renjun an app where he could see what kind of food he could order or that he could make one of the other’s pick him up. It came with descriptions and usually even pictures of the food available, and he would be lying if his stomach didn’t grumble lightly at some of the options available.

“Mark hates that I found this because I’m always asking him to pick up new food or ordering stuff with his card.”

“What does Mark do?”

“Oh, he’s a producer and rapper,” Donghyuck shrugged noncommittally. “He’s kind of famous, I guess, whatever. But don’t tell him that. His head is already big enough, literally,” Jaemin joined Donghyuck in snickering at his joke that Renjun wasn’t quite sure he completely understood.

“That’s cool.”

“I guess, if you like fangirls interrupting your time at the park and not being able to go to your favorite movie theatre anymore.”

“Food is ready, babies!” Jaemin called from the kitchen to the other three on the sofa. Donghyuck cheered, handing Renjun his phone before bolting over to see what the other had made for them.

The word boring wasn’t a word that Renjun had ever associated with his time with Jeno and Jaemin so far, but having Donghyuck really changed the entire vibe. Everything seemed slightly brighter, funnier, and all around more interesting.

He was forever grateful for their hospitality and willingness to take him in, but Renjun hadn’t recognized how badly he needed someone like Donghyuck in his life. Someone who wouldn’t look at him weird if he asked to groom the other’s hair or for ear scratches.

Which Renjun hadn’t realized how badly he craved.

After their snack time, Renjun sat between Donghyuck’s legs on the floor while the other hybrid gently scratched and petted his head and ears. He was trying to get the hang of his phone still, and Donghyuck was surprisingly patient and kind while explaining. He had been very teasing and sarcastic with the others, but Renjun was grateful for the way he would explain things slowly, sometimes even twice if he didn’t quite understand.

“No, so if you want to you can just use safari for that instead.”

“Oh, the internet, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Kind of crazy how this is basically a pocket computer.”

“Right?! It’s awesome though.” Renjun nodded in agreement. The possibilities of different kinds of games, videos, and art he could search up floating through his mind. There’s no way he would ever be bored again in his life.

“Also, I’m giving you my phone number before I forget,” Donghyuck snatched the cell phone up, quickly creating a contact for himself. When he handed it back to Renjun, he saw the name ‘Hyuck’ with a cat and heart emoji following it. “I’m honored to be the third contact in your phone, Junnie.”

Renjun laughed as the other pretended to get choked up, wiping away tears that weren’t there. He might have only known him for a few hours, but Renjun was quickly becoming used to his dramatics.

“Of course, Hyuck. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else but you,” he replied, voice thick with sarcasm.

“No fair! I want a nickname from Injunnie, too!” Jaemin whined, coming down the stairs, obviously having been eavesdropping.

“Uhhhhhh,” Renjun blushed, unsure what to say. He hadn’t even realized he had called Donghyuck, Hyuck. It was what he put as his contact name, and also the other was disarmingly charming it had just slipped out.

“Just face it, Jaemin. He likes me better,” Hyuck leaned down, wrapping his arms around Renjun’s shoulders softly. “We’re besties now. I’m replacing you.” Jaemin grumbled.

“He even gets hugs too?” The pink-haired boy stomped his feet in an immature but also ridiculously cute tantrum. Renjun softly pried Donghyuck’s arms from his shoulders before turning around to him.

“Can we go back to my room? I still have a few more questions.”

“’Course!” The other hybrid hopped up, pulling Renjun along with him.

“Well, the main reason I wanted to talk to you was about the,” he cleared his throat awkwardly as they both settled on his bed, “the… heat stuff,” he whispered.

Donghyuck cooed at Renjun’s shyness who just glared at him in return, trying to ignore his cheeks heating up.

“Okay, well, Jeno and Jaemin mentioned that it was the first time yours had been like that, right?” Coughing slightly at realizing the fact that they must have talked to the other hybrid about his heat, Renjun folded his legs on the bed.

“Well, yeah. That’s why I’m so confused?” Donghyuck nodded, encouraging him to keep going. “So, I had had the monthly thing for a few years now, but like…”

He was unsure how to say this without being horribly awkward. What if it was only him whose body reacted this way? What if Donghyuck didn’t even get the same feeling and urges?

“You got wet, right?” Sputtering at his bluntness, Renjun gaped in surprise.

“Y-yeah…”

“And you hadn’t before?”

“…no,” his voice coming out small.

“Ah, okay. They told me they were being all gross and on top of one another, so that’s probably what triggered it finally. Considering you had lived with a nice old lady, I doubt you had a chance to ever really be aroused,” Donghyuck wiggled his fingers teasingly at the last part.

Renjun quickly batted away his hands, his heart racing and his stomach turning with nerves. Obviously he knew the heat had made him aroused, but it had been triggered by Jeno and Jaemin?

“What do you mean by triggered?” Donghyuck propped himself on his hands, tilting his head.

“Well, when I first got my heat like you did it was because I walked in on Mark masturbating and neither of us had any idea what to do so,” he shrugged matter-of-factly. Renjun gaped at the other in shock.

“I-I, y-you did, he-he?”

“Use your words, Injunnie,” he smirked, obviously enjoying flustering the other.

“Okay. So it’s always triggered by something sexual?”

“Yup. I mean Jeno and Jaemin aren’t the grossest looking people in the world, so that probably didn’t help.” Renjun nodded, thinking. This seemed to make sense. Donghyuck had mentioned earlier about there still being the urge to breed and whatnot.

“This sucks. Why the hell do we have to have heats?”

“Right?!” Donghyuck threw his arms up in frustration. “I feel like your mom, giving you the birds and the bees talk,” he giggled.

So, he would go into heat every month because some asshole in a lab had designed him that way? He was starting to realize just why Donghyuck had been so passionate earlier; those people were definitely fucked up.

The doorbell rang then, startling Renjun who turned his head towards his door. It was already almost dark outside, and he had completely lost track of time. Honestly, the two had spent most of it just talking and joking around, rather than Renjun getting actual information.

Dammit, he still had so many questions.

Turning to face Donghyuck, he took the hybrid’s wrist, eyes wide.

“Are you leaving? I just realized I didn’t ask you a bunch of questions I wanted to. I got distracted.” 

“I can come back over again, soon! Probably. If not, you have my number now so we can talk on the phone or you can text me,” he smiled encouragingly. “Plus it’s nice to have someone who actually wants to listen to my rants on hybrid rights for once. Do you want to stay in your room, or do you think you can come say bye while Mark and Jisung are at the door?”

Renjun stiffened at the name of the dog hybrid, before breathing out and nodding. Everyone had vouched for the hybrid’s sweetness and complete and total lack of a killing gene. Even though he was a giant.

They stood up, and Renjun followed the happily bouncing hybrid down the hallway to the entrance.

Scuttling backwards, Renjun placed himself behind the short table in the center of the living room in order to hide. He knew it was dumb, but he felt better. Jeno finally came down the stairs too, his hair damp, before shooting Renjun a curious glance.

“You can open it, I’m fine, Jeno.” Renjun said, resolve in his voice.

Jeno headed over to the door, opening it and greeting the other two who had been here earlier in the day.

“Hey Mark, hi Jisung!”

“My baby!” Jaemin scooted Jeno out of the way, to embrace Jisung who made a slightly grossed out face.

“I’m not a baby, I’m taller than you, hyung.”

“Still my baby,” Jaemin cooed, pulling on the surprisingly stretchy cheek of Jisung.

Donghyuck moved over to Renjun on the ground, shooting Mark a wave.

“Bye, Junnie. I had fun today. It’s nice having another cat around. I’m surrounded by humans and dogs.”

“That sounds like a nightmare. I’m glad I can be the one to save you.”

Donghyuck and Renjun shared a look before both laughing and hugging one another. Standing up, to walk over to everyone by the door, Donghyuck shot Renjun one last wave goodbye. He turned and faced Mark, his hands immediately coming to his hips.

“Why does your hair look like that? You’re supposed to be a celebrity, but you can’t even brush your hair?”

“I had to chase Jisung and Chenle around the park! You know Yukhei likes to just laugh and let them do whatever they want. Yangyang was there too, which you know always makes,” their voices began to fade as the trio walked down the hallway before Jeno gently closed the door behind them.

Jeno pulled Jaemin into a side hug, kissing his cheek before looking over to Renjun, still on the ground. He sent his signature eye crinkling smile which never failed to raise Renjun’s heartbeat.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay. You guys were right. He really does seem harmless, and if Donghyuck can fluster Mark that easily, he must be pretty docile, too.” Jeno chuckled at his matter-of-fact tone before agreeing that Mark was just as easily intimidated as he seemed to be.

Renjun helped the other two tidy up the kitchen and the couch where Donghyuck and he had made a mess of the blankets and pillows, before wishing them goodnight. Jaemin’s words from earlier, when he had complained about the lack of hugs, stuck in his mind as he looked at the other two.

Acting on impulse, Renjun quickly reached out and hugged both Jaemin and then Jeno lightly. It was something slightly more personable than a side hug, before whispering out a goodnight to a smiling Jeno and a completely awestruck Jaemin.

“Oh my god, why is he the cutest thing ever,” he heard Jaemin’s soft voice down the hallway as he quickly ran to his room, promptly shutting the door.

Confused by how fast his heart was beating, Renjun went over and tossed himself on his bed, bouncing lightly. His cheeks were heating up, and he wondered if maybe this was just a hybrid thing?

Pulling out his phone to use the texting feature for the first time, he sent a message to Donghyuck.

Me

Hey, is it normal when we give humans hugs for our heartbeats to get really fast? Is it like a fight or flight thing?

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

who did you hug

Me

Just Jeno and Jaemin that’s why I’m confused

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

lol i guess there is more we need to talk about


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// anixety (for this note)
> 
> I want to say that anxiety affects people in different ways, and different things can help them come to terms with the problems they're facing. I, myself, have high functioning anxiety, so the way Renjun deals with and goes through his anxiety is unique to himself in this situation. You should always try and reach out and talk to someone if something if effecting your everyday life, and you find yourself stuck in situations you wish you could escape. I'm always here to talk if any of you need to!
> 
> Still no beta, so I apologize for mistakes that are bound to be here.
> 
> ALSO! I changed my username from jungwoospetal to tenspetal! If you want to come hang out with me, my twitter is the same @ tenspetal ^^

Renjun slept soundly atop his bed, snuggled up with the warmth of the heater (and of course his continuously growing pile of blankets). The weather had been turning colder, according to Jeno and Jaemin, who were often beginning to leave the apartment with sweaters and scarves instead of just the occasional light jacket.

When he awoke the next morning, a slight chill radiating from the cold glass of his window, Renjun stretched and yawned widely before getting ready for the day.

He picked up his phone eventually, still unused to having the device, and saw several messages from Donghyuck. A few selcas were accompanied with a plethora of complaints about Mark.

Renjun hadn’t really thought of it before, but he was beginning to wonder if Mark and Hyuck were partners in the same way Jeno and Jaemin were. It’s not like he had seen them interact much, but he wasn’t oblivious to their closeness that seemed different from the way they were with the puppy hybrid, Jisung. 

Of course, Renjun’s only frame of reference with relationships was the dramas he had watched and his new owners. But Donghyuck had pointed out that to assume everyone acted the same was just stereotyping, so he was trying to be more aware.

He hadn’t realized how much he had indeed been putting people into a box before he even got to know them. Maybe he would need to apologize to Jisung.

Strolling down the hallway, he went into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to grab breakfast before he remembered the app Donghyuck had installed on his phone. Pausing, he pulled his phone from his sweatpants’ pocket and opened the screen, clicking on the food app he had been shown.

Heading into the living room, he fell down onto the couch and began to scroll. There were several options that looked yummy and plenty of things he had never tried before. Well, he had to start somewhere right?

‘Somewhere’ ended up being multilayered crepes, an assortment of steamed buns, and a random selection of pastries from a local bakery that looked yummy.

Looking over the phone, he pressed order for the three restaurants individually, the way he was pretty sure he was supposed to. Jeno had explained that Jaemin’s card information was linked to his phone, so was that all he had to do, right?

A little car showing where his order was popped up on the map in the app, and Renjun smiled at how convenient it was. No wonder Donghyuck used this all the time. 

The door upstairs was opened as Renjun had gone back to his texting app to send Donghyuck his first ever selca, by the other hybrid’s request for his contact picture.

“Morning, Renjun. Do you want any breakfast?” Jeno softly greeted the other from the stairs, who then looked up from his relaxed place on the couch.

“Oh, I ordered a bunch of stuff from that app Hyuck showed me. Y’know, to try, since I haven’t tried much.” Jeno’s mouth popped open in a soft ‘o’ shape, and nodded lightly descending the rest of the way to bottom living area.

“How much did you order exactly?” Renjun shrugged and pulled the app back up, handing it over to Jeno to examine.

“All of that list that’s on top of the map with the little car guy.”

Jeno’s eyes widened, his eyebrows raised, as he blinked widely a few times before handing the phone back to the hybrid. Renjun stared on expectantly, waiting for the other to respond.

“You do realize you clicked, like, half of the menu from these places, right?”

“Yes, to try. Is that bad?” Shaking his head, Jeno’s eyes crinkled.

“No. Jaemin can definitely afford it, it’s just funny. And pretty cute, honestly,” he chuckled out, his laugh tinkling its way to Renjun’s sensitive ears that perked up at the pretty sound.

Looking on with big eyes at Jeno, his heart began to stutter once more like it had last night when he had hugged them. Why was it that when Jeno called him cute like that it affected him? When Jaemin had teased him he hadn’t had this reaction, though…

The longer Renjun stared at the other as if he was a puzzle he was trying to solve, the pinker Jeno’s cheeks got.

Narrowing his eyes, Renjun picked up his phone and went to his texting app immediately typing something out to Donghyuck. He hadn’t answered his question last night, but he was determined to know why his heart was racing more often. If he could stop it, he wanted to. It made his tummy bubble with nerves which was a little unsettling.

Clearing his throat, Jeno excused himself to go and wake Jaemin up so that they could all eat the breakfast Renjun had ordered together.

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

i cant tell if ur being sarcastic or not

Me

You know I’m new to all of this stuff. I lived comfortably with a sweet old lady for the majority of my life, what do you expect?

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

true ok im going to make mark drop me off sometime this week so i can teach you what basic attraction crushes and lust means

Me

I KNOW WHAT THOSE MEAN I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY MY HEART IS BEING WEIRD ITS LIKE WHEN I PANIC ABOUT GOING OUTSIDE BUT IT FEELS LESS INTENSE AND MORE BUBBLY

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

why do i only become friends with hopeless people

Renjun’s face was flushed with embarrassment, his ears flat against his head at Donghyuck’s messages. He knows what those things mean; he just doesn’t understand how they apply to his current situation.

Jeno and Jaemin are in love together, Renjun just simply is nervous and not used to attention from them yet. That was it, right? Why was Donghyuck treating him like he didn’t understand something? Sure, there were things about the world that puzzled him but-

Turning and burying his head in the couch pillow, he grumbled in frustration. He was tired of feeling like there were all these things he still didn’t understand. Specifically, about himself. That’s what bothered him most.

“So, I heard you ordered basically the entire menu from three different places, Injunnie?” Jaemin’s voice held a teasing quality to it as he and Jeno entered the room. Before Renjun had a chance to respond, the doorbell rang and Jeno walked the short distance to open it.

The door revealed a very stressed and overloaded delivery man carrying several bags of food. Jeno immediately went to grab some of the items from him as another confused delivery man with only slightly less amounts of food showed up behind him looking utterly confused.

“Is Na Jaemin here?” The second delivery man asked in trepidation. Renjun, finally realizing just how much food he had ordered, timidly stood to try and help the other’s get the food into the house. He couldn’t hide the shame that crossed his face, especially when a third person showed up, looking back and forth between the receipt she held and the mess of containers, bags, and boxes of food before her.

Maybe he wasn’t ready to use apps yet.

An hour or so later, the three sat on the ground around their living room table in varying states of completely stuffed. Renjun had already told them that for his mistakes he would clean the dishes and the kitchen and also put the food away.

A look of amusement hadn’t left Jaemin’s face since the first time the door opened, and Jeno looked seconds away from falling asleep, lounging backwards against the couch.

“You definitely picked a good menu. And by menu, I mean the _whole_ menu,” Jaemin snickered. Renjun winced in embarrassment.

“I blame Hyuck,” Jeno grunted out.

“I’ll make sure and tell him that next time he makes me download an app, to make sure it’s one that I can’t buy anything with.” Renjun nodded. Jaemin laughed heartily, his smile on display.

“Don’t worry about it, Injunnie! You got to try some good foods, and honestly spoiling you is fun,” he winked at the hybrid causing him to jolt. Knots once again tightened in Renjun’s stomach and he had to hold himself back from physically getting mad at the nervous sensation.

“I’ll clean up,” he muttered, standing and scuffling to the kitchen.

“When you’re done, feel free to come upstairs! Nono and I are gonna play some games!”

What Renjun had pictured was board games, maybe even card games, but instead it was all on the TV. He finally got to see the game consoles next to the TV put to use, as the two of them were situated in the bean bags looking like overeager teenagers that belonged in a PC room.

Little characters raced one another in bright and colorful settings with bright and colorful cars. Sometimes they were underground and sometimes they flew. Honestly… it looked pretty fun.

When Jaemin pouted and flopped backwards, arms outstretched, Jeno cheered loudly in victory.

“I win!”

“That’s just because you’re the best at rainbow road!”

Jeno crawled over to Jaemin’s beanbag, lurking on top of him smiling into his face.

“Being a sore loser, baby?” Jaemin nodded, pouting still.

“I need a kiss to cheer me up.”

Bridging the small gap, he pressed his lips to the other boy, holding his neck gently while still hovering above him on his arms. Jaemin smiled into the kiss and nibbled lightly on Jeno’s bottom lip.

Renjun felt his stomach tighten and his palms get slightly sweaty. He also couldn’t stop swallowing for some reason; it was probably because he was being very rude for not announcing he was there and was snooping on their private moment.

So, the hybrid cleared his throat to get their attention. Jeno turned his head quickly, obviously embarrassed to be caught, but Jaemin just smiled lazily at him. Standing up quickly, Jeno outstretched his arms prepared to catch the hybrid should he fall. He was obviously nervous that Renjun would react the same way as last time he saw them in a… compromising position.

“He’s fine, babe. He won’t get his heat again that quickly,” Jaemin sat up in the bean bag, unaware of the awkward tension that was palpable between the other two. “Now do I get to kick your AND Injunnie’s ass? Because I’m ready. Wanna learn how to play?” He cocked his head looking back to the hybrid at the top of the stairs.

“Uh, yeah,” Renjun strode to the space behind both of the bean bags and plopped on the thick rug, mentally willing his heartbeat to calm down.

Jeno, finally snapping out of his stupor, went back to his own bean bag and moved it slightly so that Renjun could sit between the two. Jaemin grabbed his controller and handed it to Renjun to show him what buttons did what and let him get the hang of it, as the other boy set up a third controller for him.

Apparently there were lots of things to learn, and even though they swore that they picked the easiest course, Renjun continued to accidentally drive himself off the sides to his death.

Renjun finally got a star item that made him extra fast and he even passed some of the computers at the last minute to come in tenth place instead of last.

“Did you guys see that?!” He cheered, turning his head back and forth between the two boys, his tail flicking excitedly. Since the other two had come in first and second, they were already focused and waiting for Renjun to finish.

“Yes! You’re getting the hang of it, Injunnie! You’re gonna be the best Mario kart racer ever!” Jaemin reached over and squeezed Renjun tightly into a hug, making his shoulders scrunch up in the process. The hug stopped as soon as it came, and it honestly wasn’t too bad?

“Okay, do you want to keep playing?” Jeno asked, smiling delicately at the two.

“Hell yes, I don’t want to stop until I can beat you both,” Renjun turned, stealing his resolve and putting his game face on that caused the other two to laugh before taking on his challenge.

Once he became more used to the controls and what buttons did what, Renjun actually used a mushroom just at the right time to knock Jaemin off the side of a bridge and into water. Jaemin yelled in protest, claiming he was a cheater. Renjun just continued racing forward, smiling in triumph, telling the other to just be better at the game if he didn’t want to die.

The next round, Renjun beat both Jeno and Jaemin by once again knocking Jaemin off the course, this time into lava. He couldn’t help the giddiness he felt at riling up the pink-haired boy, and he finally understood why Hyuck enjoyed teasing so much.

“Ugh! Renjun I’m going to kill you!” Jaemin whined, tossing his controller to the side in anguish.

“Can’t kill me if I’ve already killed you first,” Renjun retorted smugly, gesturing to the screen where toad was smiling happily, a giant 1st spinning next to him.

Jaemin narrowed his eyes, gauging the situation, before he pounced onto Renjun tackling the smaller into the rug. He began to tickle the hybrid, who for the first time in his life found out that he was terribly ticklish.

He couldn’t quite get the breath he needed in order to tell Jaemin to stop, so he tried to kick lightly and pry his arms off of him to no avail. Jaemin was obviously stronger than him and continued to pin him to the ground, poking his sides repeatedly.

They continued to roll around on the ground to the sound of Jeno’s laughter for a whole minute before Jaemin eventually let up. Sitting back onto his knees over top Renjun, who had tears in his eyes from laughing, he stared down in celebration.

“Now who’s the winner?”

“Still me. I won remember, Nana?” Renjun stuck his tongue out, feeling high on serotonin; his cheeks threatening to spilt open from how large he was smiling. For some reason, Jaemin’s face changed to a more serious, almost fond expression.

“Nana?” Jaemin inquired, cocking his head and beaming. Renjun just rolled his eyes.

“It was a slip of the tongue, don’t get used to it, Jaemin. I just felt bad because you were being a poor loser.”

Jaemin paused, looking over to Jeno who was studying him, before he leaned down cornering Renjun to the floor like he had earlier when he had tickled him. Bracing himself for the second round of tickles, Renjun closed his eyes tightly and tried to pry the other off once more,

But, the tickles never came and instead a soft kiss was placed to his forehead. His eyes popped open while his tail thrashed once in surprise, accidentally smacking Jaemin slightly.

“Ow, rude,” the other, still on top of him uttered with mirth in his voice. “I get kisses when I’m being a sore loser, so.” Jaemin stated matter-of-factly as if that explained why he kissed him, before shrugging.

Renjun swallowed, his mouth dry as sandpaper, before he finally wiggled out from underneath the other. He brought his hand up to his forehead, before he brought it back down, and then bringing it up once again to feel where he had pressed his lips.

It had been a very long time, but Renjun was pretty sure this was the first time anyone had ever kissed him. Whether or not it was just a friendly Jaemin kiss.

Unsure of what to say, his eyes darted back and forth; his mouth fluttered open and closed like a fish struggling for air.

“The game was fun, bye,” he sped out before turning and running down the stairs, slipping slightly when he reached the wooden floors, before turning down the hallway.

“He was too cute, I couldn’t NOT, Nono,” was the last thing Renjun heard before he slammed his door shut.

Renjun had been scurrying off to his room to shut the door more frequently lately, and he wasn’t sure what to think of that considering he had also been feeling more comfortable around the two.

After spending as long as he could in his room alone playing around on his phone, his stomach eventually growled for lunch. At least he knew there were plenty of leftovers in the fridge.

He walked back down the hallway to see Jeno sitting on the couch, his laptop open on the small table with Jaemin’s head in his lap who was on his phone. Jeno was hunched over typing out something with speed and a crease in his brow.

When Renjun opened the fridge to stuff his mouth full of food, the other two’s eyes finally spotted him.

“Hey, Renjun? Can I show you something?” Jeno called softly to the hybrid that currently had his mouth full of pork bun.

Since he couldn’t quite respond, he just nodded his head and walked over to where the two were on the couch. Jeno turned the laptop slowly, showing the screen to Renjun which showcased a pretty painting. One that he immediately recognized, causing his eyes to prickle. He swallowed the bun quickly before his throat could close up.

“I’m looking through some of my grandma’s items and trying to decide what to do with them. I was going to compile a list and show it to you when it was done, so we could get anything that you wanted, but this painting caught me off guard a bit. I was wondering where she went to get it done at, since you said you both didn’t leave the house much?”

Renjun inched the laptop closer, sitting himself down on the ground to look at it. It was a haphazardly taken photo, plastic wrap in the background, but the force of what had happened hit him in waves.

“I painted that for her birthday.”

Jeno turned his head in surprise, while Jaemin quickly sat his phone down and sat up, hands already outstretched anticipating Renjun to crumble.

“Renjun, I’m so sorry I didn’t kn-“

“Her last birthday. That last day, not one of her previous birthdays. I had spent awhile on it too. I really felt like I captured her eyes,” he turned to Jeno eyes brimming with tears. “You really do look like her,” he sniffled trying to smile.

The other two looked on with caution, unsure what to do to help Renjun. Looking back to the picture, he couldn’t help the soft sobs that began to wrack through his chest.

He pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face.

Why did he have to keep crying?

Why was everything always such a rollercoaster?

When could Renjun just go back to sleeping in the sun and living an absolutely dull and simple life?

“It’s beautiful, Renjun. She would have loved it,” Jeno choked out causing the hybrid to sniffle and look up at the other. Jeno’s kind eyes were littered with tears as well as he glanced between the photo and Renjun himself.

“You think so?” Jeno nodded and hummed, clearing his throat slightly as Jaemin rubbed his back soothingly, sympathy in his eyes.

They sat there in silence for awhile, only the occasional sniffle breaking the quiet. Renjun shuffled closer to Jeno’s legs before he leaned against them in solidarity. They had both lost someone they loved and had cared for, and it seemed like Jeno was the only person who understood him.

Soft hands stroked through his hair lightly, causing Renjun to turn his head towards Jeno.

“Is this okay?” Jeno asked softly. The hybrid only nodded in response.

He continued to pet Renjun as he leaned himself back onto the other’s legs. A soft purr vibrated through his chest as he became more settled and comfortable against Jeno. It only increased in volume when Jaemin began to scratch lightly at his ears.

“You both are very strong for going through this,” he heard Jaemin speak lowly from behind him. “Jeno, you having to go through and handle all of the aftermath, and of course Renjun… losing your home, I can’t even imagine.”

Renjun couldn’t hold in the soft sob at that, tucking his head down into his arms to hide once more.

“I just know she’d be very happy to see that you’re both where you are, in your lives. And Renjun?” The hybrid lifted his head slightly in acknowledgment, “I know we’re not Mrs. Lee and we can never replace the years you spent with her, but please know that we’re trying our best. You’re the perfect addition to our little family and we love having you around.”

This time the sobs felt different. Renjun felt overwhelmingly grateful to have someone explicitly state their affection and care for him. It made his heart feel full and he was still a bit overwhelmed when he stood up and turned to the two.

Climbing onto the couch, Renjun laid himself between the two boys, trying to cuddle and hug them both at the same time, begging for the safety of two people he now realized he explicitly trusted.

Jeno wrapped his arm around the hybrid’s shoulders as Jaemin leaned into him from the other side, going back to scratching his ears. Renjun let his head fall onto Jaemin’s shoulder and enjoyed the comfort that came from cuddling, something he had rarely ever done in his life before coming here. Why he hadn’t done it more is a mystery to him as he realized just how right it felt to be held.

It wasn’t long before Renjun was purring again, soaking in the attention from the two boys.

“Can we keep the painting?” Renjun asked cautiously, not wanting to upset either of them.

“Of course,” Jeno replied immediately, rubbing a spot on his neck that had his purring on overdrive.

“You’re really, really talented, Injunnie,” the pink-haired boy turned to smile gently at him. He couldn’t help the heat that rushed to his cheeks at realizing how close his face was, his purr stuttering.

“Thank you. It’s relaxing and I really like it.”

“Would you want some art supplies then?” Jeno asked from beside him. Renjun simply nodded and resolved to sticking his head into Jaemin’s shoulder in order to hide his blush.

“Let’s reheat some of those pork buns then, hm?” Jaemin’s chest vibrated against Renjun slightly as he spoke, as he nodded in agreement.

They proceeded to gorge themselves on the plethora of leftovers, and when the three of them cleaned up the dishes and the kitchen afterwards, it would be a lie to say Renjun didn’t laugh at the other two’s antics much more this time than he might have before.

Opening up to them in that way, having them understand, was something that filled his heart and chipped away at his shell. Jeno’s empathy and Jaemin’s strong support were a perfect mix that when melded together created a sense of love.

The feeling of something having shifted between the three of them drifted about the loft, and lingered in the air as if you could almost smell it.

If it had a scent, it would probably smell like pork buns.

Later that night, Renjun had opened up to the other two more about how interested he was in art. That led to him spending a few hours scrolling through amazing supply stores that could ship to their loft, and fast.

Jaemin constantly bothered him, asking to be Renjun’s muse, and to get a portrait of himself done. The hybrid’s eyes were almost starting to get tired at how often he was rolling them.

But, he was excited.

Very excited.

He had found a couple different sizes of easels, plenty of acrylic paints, even went so far as to tread into watercolor and charcoal territory. The soft giggles every time Jeno nodded that it was okay if he added something else to their cart online echoed in the office room. Both Jaemin and Jeno couldn’t hide their enthusiasm to see Renjun inch his way comfortably out of his shell and into their home.

So now, not only did Renjun have what seemed like every show and movie to ever exist at the tips of his fingers, he also learned how to play video games, _and_ he was going to have a massive art supply?

Could things ever get any better than this?

Later in the week when his materials finally arrived, Renjun set up a small station in his room where he would be able to paint. Jeno and Jaemin helped him carry one of the soft chairs from the upstairs living room into his.

Sitting and staring at the canvas, Renjun was excited and unsure of where to start. He was giddy, and was even having a bit of difficulty with calming himself that he was worried he wouldn’t be able to hold his hand still enough to paint.

But, of course, nothing could be perfect.

The one window in his room was on the opposite side, above his bed, so natural light wouldn’t reach all the way to the spot he had set up. When Renjun turned on the bedroom light, a fake, warm yellow light skewed the colors in his eyes.

Well, where was he supposed to paint now?

At his old house, there was room in the living room right next to one of their windows that had always been perfect.

Renjun supposes that it would be okay if he went out into the bottom living room and painted by the balcony windows. He’d just have to warn the others.

Trudging out of his room, he tip-toed down the hallway and pressed an ear to the door, his tail perked up. After he couldn’t hear any talking on the phone, Renjun knocked softly and poked his head through.

Jeno swiveled in his chair, arching his eyebrows, prompting the other to speak.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Renjun spoke in a soft voice, “but, I was wondering if it’s okay if I paint in the living room instead? I prefer to use natural light, and it doesn’t really reach well in my room.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” Jeno smiled. “Just if you could please move everything back into your room when you’re done!”

Renjun nodded, sending the other a thank you, before going to move his materials to his new spot.

Once he was set up, he noticed that even over here next to the balcony, there wasn’t much room. They had a plush beige rug in the living room, so Renjun refused to get too close to it. But, the couch was very large, and didn’t leave him with much room where the sunlight reached.

He was cramped over into the corner next to the TV, trying to rotate his easel to a good position so that he could still see, but where it would also be illuminated.

After, shifting his chair for the fifth time, and having to dive awkwardly to catch his brushes that had tumbled out of his hands to the ground, Renjun shot a quick eye over to the balcony doors.

He could probably just open the door slightly in order to create more room, right? Balconies were still kind of technically almost, but not really inside, right?

No.

It was definitely outside.

Frowning back at his painting, Renjun pouted and began to attempt to paint.

His elbows were pulled all the way in; his neck began to cramp from the awkward angles he would have to move it when he shifted the canvas.

After painting for a bit, Renjun pulled back and looked at what he had started on.

It was supposed to a basic scenic picture of a field, some flowers and clouds, but it honestly looked like Renjun had gone full cat and stuck his tail in the paint and used that instead of the expensive brushes they had bought him.

Burying his hands in frustration, the front door rattled slightly before opening revealing a tuft of bright pink hair bundled up in layers.

“Injunnie! Are you painting? Did everything come in correctly?” Jaemin asked, unwinding his scarf to set it down on the kitchen counter, before placing his bags on the floor.

Huffing, Renjun picked up his easel and began to shuffle out of the living room, mumbling under his breath frustrated. Jaemin rushed over to help him carry his things back to his room. Taking a peek over Renjun’s shoulder, he squealed in delight.

“This is so pretty! How long have you been working on it?” Renjun scoffed.

“It looks like garbage. Not only am I rusty, but I can’t find a place where there’s enough natural light that I can use without the worry of spilling something,” he forcefully set his paints on his dresser, turning back to scowl at the _atrocity_ that was his painting.

“It looks really good to me! Plus it doesn’t look finished yet! Unless,” Jaemin sent him a worried look, nervous that he had just made things worse.

“No, it’s not done,” Renjun sighed out. “Not even close. I’m just frustrated. Sorry.” He apologized curtly. Jaemin shot him a smile before crossing to ruffling the other’s hair who quickly moved out of the way.

Jaemin tried not to show the disappointment on his face when the hybrid dodged his affections, worrying that all the progress they had seemed to make vanished. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he took a step back from Renjun.

“Well, you could always paint out on the bottom balcony? It’s really open and we have a small storage closet out there on the side that you could store your materials in?” His voice piqued with hope, knowing that eventually they would need to address this anxious part of Renjun.

The hybrid huffed.

“Why does it have to be outdoors? So stupid,” he spoke more to himself, under his breath. “I’ll figure it out, thanks.” He said tersely, turning to go and flop on his bed. Jaemin took that as his cue to leave the other alone.

Renjun spent an hour or so moping, texting Donghyuck about his problems and receiving support and agreement. The other hybrid had even suggested that Renjun pressure Jeno and Jaemin into buying the flat next to theirs and turning it into a full art studio for him. Which, of course, was ridiculous and Renjun made sure to tell the other as much.

He knew he was being pouty and that he should be more than grateful for what he was given and where he currently was. The truth is, it wasn’t really the painting he was mad about. He was mad at himself for still being so scared of going outside.

Donghyuck would often talk about where he, Mark, and Jisung would go and it actually sounded like fun? Renjun knew he was living a more than comfortable life, so why did he still have this adverse reaction to the outdoors? He was more than safe here, and the balcony wouldn’t even be leaving Jeno and Jaemin’s property!

Rolling over to bury his face in his pillows, he grunted loudly at himself. Yes, the outside had become a mysterious and terrifying place over the years, but it was obvious that it wasn’t as dangerous as he had built it up to be in his head.

Jaemin was gone and came home almost every day. Jeno often left for work dinners and brought home fancy desserts that he would let the hybrid finish for him. Renjun himself had even been transported a few places, which means he went outside and he had survived.

So why was it that the idea of stepping out onto that balcony sent shivers up and down his arms?

He was starting to feel like maybe this fear was preventing from experiencing some really fun things, but more than that… Renjun really wanted to be able to paint. It was his favorite thing to do!

It was therapeutic, and being able to express himself through art always excited him.

Maybe if he asked Jeno to help him go onto the balcony he would? Thinking of having the soft smiling eyes of the other near and someone to help ground him sounded like it might actually be a good idea.

Besides if he got too worried he could just take a couple of steps and be right back inside, just like that!

Turning and sitting up in his bed, Renjun made small fists and stared down at his whitening knuckles before releasing them.

He could do this.

He would ask Jeno to help him.

…tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a couple chapters ahead still, and I'm finding myself a bit stuck as where to go next... I've never written a slow burn or something this fluffy before, so I'm struggling a bit. Please be patient with me if updates start happening not as frequently. I apologize!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating very fast because the next chapter is already finished, so I figured why make you guys wait? this chapter is a bit shorter
> 
> I apologize for grammar and spelling mistakes~

The next day, Renjun stared out at the balcony taking in the soft pitter-patter of rain that flew delicately onto the balcony. With his canvas in one hand, he promptly turned back around and headed straight for his room, passing by Jeno on the way, but ignoring him.

It was fine he could ask tomorrow. This gave him more time to prepare himself anyways.

The next day it was raining harder, and seeing this Renjun felt a strange mix of relief and frustration. It was almost as if Mother Nature was laughing at him. After he finally garnered the courage to maybe step outside, the conditions were unsuitable.

But then again, maybe she was just protecting him. Maybe she understood how dangerous it was outside?

Renjun preferred that idea.

So when the next day came, and the weather was only overcast, not raining, Renjun sat himself in front of the TV playing more Mario Kart instead. If Mother Nature herself had warned Renjun of the dangers of the weather outside, who was he to disobey?

This point of view was easy to rationalize, so he continued to snuggle up and perfect his skills so that he could thoroughly crush Jaemin at the game next time.

As the days went by, the weather turned stunningly beautiful. The cold front had backed off some, and the temperatures were surprisingly warm for the time of year. Sun shined onto the balcony, and Renjun found himself curled up on the floor in front of the large glass windows to soak up the warmth quite often.

He also started to notice slightly confused expressions from Jeno and Jaemin every so often. Sometimes when they ate breakfast or when Renjun spent the whole day upstairs bingeing _The Untamed_.

Renjun figured that if it was something important, one of the boys would bring it up to him.

And he was right.

Later that same night, when they sat around the low table in the living room munching on kimchi fried rice, Jaemin was the first one to clear his throat and break Renjun out of his transfixed gaze on the balcony window.

“Okay, so are you going to tell us what’s going on? Or do we have to do one of those, like, figure it out on your own type things?”

Looking up at the pink-haired boy, Renjun didn’t even catch on that he was the one being addressed at first. When he saw both of their faces looking at him with that same confused expression he had been seeing lately, he quickly swallowed the food in his mouth and sat his chopsticks down.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on. I mean, Donghyuck sent me some texts with far more information about his heat than I needed, but other than that,” Renjun just shrugged, gazing between the two.

“Renjun,” Jeno shifted his legs on the ground uncomfortably, “we might not know each other 100% yet, but I like to think that we can at least tell when something is on the other’s mind.” His eyes looked sad when he spoke, “Are you okay? We thought you would be so excited to paint and get your new materials, but you haven’t touched them once besides the first day we got them. Did we get you the wrong thing? Are you feeling… depressed?”

“You can talk to us, it’s okay,” Jaemin added encouragingly when he noted that the hybrids cheeks started to blush. “We always see you staring out the window all gloomily like a tortured artist too. Pun intended,” he chuckled.

Renjun pursed his lips and picked up his chopsticks to push the small amount of food he had left on his plate around. He had decided that he would listen to the weather and not go out there anyways, so what would be the harm in letting them know what he had been thinking?

“Well,” he started slowly, “I’m not depressed. At least, I don’t think so,” he trailed off, before clearing his throat and continuing. “There’s not really good light and a safe space to paint in the apartment. I had been toying around with the idea of possibly asking Jeno to go out on the balcony with me, and maybe… trying to paint out there a little bit?”

Taking in the other two’s shocked and bewildered expressions, he quickly continued talking as to not get their hopes up.

“But! Then the weather was all rainy for a few days, so I figured that that was Mother Nature’s way of telling me to stay inside. I hope you guys don’t feel like I wasted your money on the supplies,” The hybrid’s head drooped at the sudden realization of just how much he was costing the pair.

Jeno and Jaemin exchanged a silent look, almost as if they were telepathically communicating with one another. It was quiet for several moments before Jaemin pushed himself up from the floor and plopped back down onto the couch sighing lightly.

“Renjun, please let us help you? I think that it’s such a good idea that you would want to go outside to paint! Like, that’s such a big deal and I’m really proud of you for even thinking of it in the first place!” He smiled softly. Renjun’s heart began to stammer in his chest, as heat spread throughout his limbs.

“P-proud? Of just, what, going out on the balcony like a normal person?” He tried to scoff, and distract how happy it actually made Renjun to hear those words, with sarcastic comments.

“You know it’s more than that. You are normal, Renjun. Just because you’ve gone through different things and have to work a bit harder than others, doesn’t make you not normal,” Jeno added, his eyes dripping with sincerity.

The hybrid swallowed and stared at the floor, picking at the thick rug beneath them.

Proud? Had anyone ever been genuinely proud of him before?

“Proud,” he whispered out, nodding his head softly, still not looking up.

The word itself seemed to hold some kind of power that affected Renjun to an extreme extent. If just saying that he had thought of the idea made Jaemin proud… maybe actually doing it would make him even more proud? Maybe even Jeno too?

His cheeks flushed, his ears flattening tightly to his head. He could feel both of their gentle gazes on him; patiently waiting for Renjun to speak next, they were worried that they might step too far into his boundaries.

Renjun had been feeling those strong walls he had built slowly being chipped away by the new people in his life recently. Donghyuck’s boisterous laugh, Jaemin’s overeager coddling, and Jeno’s heartwarming smile were becoming his kryptonite.

Nodding, he finally raised his head. “O-okay,” his voice came out wavering and small. “Maybe? Maybe, I could try?” The hybrid’s eyes shifted between the two, feeling extremely vulnerable in the moment. Renjun felt like he was baring his whole soul to them, when in fact they were just talking about going out onto the balcony.

Before Renjun could think himself into a hole about how pathetic it was, Jaemin was smiling brightly and coming his way to tackle him onto the rug with a tight hug. He rubbed his cheek against the hybrid, whose ears were still flat, cooing softly telling him how brave and proud he was.

“It’s just going outs-“

“Renjun, do NOT finish that sentence!” Jaemin softly scolded, sitting the both of them up once more. “You _are_ brave, and I am very proud.”

“…okay.” His voice was the smaller than he thought possible before, but Jaemin still heard him and nodded, quickly snuggling back onto him.

“Do you want to try and do it tomorrow?” Jeno called from the other side of the table, his eyes full of a look that could be described as nothing other than pure adoration and love. Renjun swallowed at the raw emotion he saw there. He also couldn’t calm his heart when he realized the gaze wasn’t only directed towards Jaemin.

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

And this time, Renjun actually meant it.

So the following day, when both Jeno and Jaemin were home due to the weekend, Renjun sat and picked at his lunch, his back straight up and very stiff.

He hadn’t been able to relax all morning knowing that going outside that day was looming over him. The smallest sounds had made his tail puff up in fear, and Jaemin had already apologized close to six times for spooking the smaller.

“You ready Renjun?” Jeno asked gently once he had finished picking up the dirty dishes.

Nodding stiffly, Renjun marched to his room, followed by Jeno who helped him carry his supplies into the living room. Having Jaemin there that day gave more support to Renjun that he hadn’t known he needed. With the both of them there, he could do this.

Jeno slowly slid open the bottom balcony’s door, a soft waft of crisp air swirled around Renjun’s face. He breathed in the smell of grass, leaves, tinged with exhaust from the pollution that comes with a large city. It almost smelt mildly comforting before a car honked, crashing reality back down onto Renjun.

He catapulted himself over the small table, and buried himself securely into Jaemin’s lap, who had been sitting on the couch nearby for moral support. Soft fingers brushed their way between his hair and over his ears.

“It’s okay, Injunnie! We’re not right in the middle of the city. Really, we don’t get honking horns from cars or too many loud noises. It was just bad timing, I promise.” He heard the boy above him softly state.

After taking a minute to collect himself and calm his breathing, he sat up in Jaemin’s lap. Realizing their position, he quickly shifted off the other and stood straight, a blush dusting his face and neck.

Jeno came over and took his hand, rubbing his thumb over the hybrid’s knuckles softly. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Before he had time to dwell on it, Jeno led him over to the open balcony, and Renjun saw that he had already moved his easel and paints out there. They were set up in front of one of the soft looking green chairs next to the sliding door.

It was the closest place to the inside of the apartment. In fact, it was so close to the living room it was basically still inside.

“Ready?” Renjun nodded timidly. “You want me to go first, or do you want to walk out there? What would be best?”

Stealing his resolve, his grip on Jeno’s hand became much tighter as his nerves petered out at the secure touch.

Taking timid steps forward, Renjun stepped over the threshold to the balcony, his eyes clenched shut tightly. He could feel the crisp air once again, and when he began to smell his surroundings again, he noted the distinct smell of meat cooking. What was that? It smelled really good, and he would be lying if his mouth didn’t start watering.

Opening his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sunlight, Renjun sniffed more and dropped Jeno’s hand, before walking to the balcony’s edge and leaning slightly to spot an open grassy park, void of children. A gazebo was placed securely next to an expensive looking water fountain, where a few adults seemed to be laughing while a grill sizzled and crackled softly behind them.

Renjun hadn’t even known that their balconies didn’t overlook a huge busy street. In fact he hadn’t even known they weren’t in the heart of the city.

Jeno called to him softly, making his fur stand on end, just now realizing how close he was to the edge. Strong arms held him softly, helping him shuffle back to the plush green chair and to get settled.

Breathing deeply, he realized nothing had happened. He was out here, he was still in Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment, and both of them were little more than a few feet away.

He was safe.

A soft stinging tingled at his eyes as they became watery at the thought. But inspiration struck him as Jeno settled into the chair right next to him and placed a careful hand on his back, rubbing supportive circles there.

“You okay, Jun?” Jeno asked, eyes full of wariness.

Renjun faced him, and nodded carefully before turning back to his canvas. He pulled the easel this way and that, adjusting his chair slightly to get the perfect lighting. A close-lipped smile sprung onto his face, as he was finally satisfied with its placement.

And then, he painted.

His heart felt content and completely at peace while his mind and worries were buried into his art. The strong and soft strokes matching the array of days he had experienced recently.

Only the occasionally strong gust of wind would shock him into jumping slightly, but Jeno would always be there and ready to encourage and calm him. And if he needed extra support, he only had to turn his head to the right and spot Jaemin still on the couch looking on fondly.

After awhile, even the lively laughter coming from below them, he didn’t notice. His mind was absorbed in his artwork.

He wasn’t sure how long had passed, but when a faint rumble sent its way through his stomach he felt like it was probably time for him to stop. Looking out at the building next to them and the sky beyond, he noticed warm oranges were beginning to dance with navy blues, signaling the approach of dusk.

Looking back to his canvas, he noted he had made a lot of progress today. He smiled and smirked knowingly. Jeno and Jaemin were definitely going to be impressed by this!

Speaking of Jeno…

Renjun’s head whipped to his left, noting that he was alone out on the balcony. When nausea began to swirl in his stomach, he looked back inside and saw the two in the kitchen. As soon as he looked at them, he met Jeno’s eyes who quickly dropped the chicken he was cutting and ran over to him, hands gloved.

“Are you okay? You were just so peaceful and doing so well, I thought you knew I had left.” He apologized, immediately.

He… he had been out there by himself? Completely alone outside by himself?

“How long was I painting?” Renjun asked apprehensively.

“Almost six hours?” Jaemin called from the kitchen over the soft sound of something crackling on the stove.

“And, w-when did you leave?” His eyes turned to Jeno’s face.

“Maybe an hour in?”

He had been out there for five hours. He had been out there alone and he was fine.

“I’m okay.”

“Hm?” Jeno looked confused, not quite having heard what Renjun said.

Looking up at the other, Renjun’s eyes sparkled. Half because it had felt so good, the air, the smell of outside had awakened and soothed a part of his soul he hadn’t known needed to be soothed, and half because it was still scary after all. Being out there alone.

“I did it,” he spoke more clearly, confidence tinted the edges of his voice. “Are you proud of me?” Renjun asked softly, suddenly feeling exposed.

Jeno smiled widely and coaxed the hybrid to his feet, smothering him in a warm hug careful not to touch him with his raw chicken covered gloves, causing him to shiver. When he pulled back, his crescent eyes caressed his heart.

“Of course I’m proud, Junnie! This is so great! I’m so, so proud,” Renjun nodded, his tail straight up and wiggling happily.

He had done it!

“Now, let’s get this into the storage right over here, that okay?”

He nodded sharply, a small smile not leaving his lips. The other discarded his gloves before he helped Renjun move his supplies into the mostly empty storage space on the balcony. After shutting the door, he couldn’t prevent the small, joyful bounce in his step when he reentered their apartment.

“Yeah! For, like, sixish hours apparently,” Renjun spoke into the phone, nuzzled into his bed cushions.

“Injunnie is all growing up. What am I supposed to do? Next thing I know my baby will be off to university,” Donghyuck fake cried from the other side of the device. Renjun’s eyes rolled, which now had come to be expected whenever he spoke with Donghyuck.

“Are you going to come over this week? Jeno and Jaemin said it would be fine, and maybe if... maybe if I paint outside a couple more times, we might be able to hang out in the hammock in the upstairs balcony?” He would be lying if he hadn’t eyed that hammock several times since moving in. It was right in the sun and _perfect_ for a cat nap.

A heavy sigh came from the other side of the phone.

“Sorry, Injunnie. Can’t. My heat is set to hit this week, so I’m out of commission. Don’t want to be over at your place and suddenly get all horny.” Renjun still couldn’t help it, but to get embarrassed when this subject came up. “Unless you wanna help me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You could help me with my heat if you want?” Renjun choked on his spit, coughing into the phone, making Donghyuck’s laugh ring out.

“Like the way you said people have helped you in the past?” He squeaked out, listening to Hyuck continue to laugh, before sighing deeply.

“It was worth a try I guess,” he mumbled. “I just cannot with Mark right now, he’s being such an ass and I’ve gotten way too used to being helped through my heats to go it alone again.”

“Wait, Mark?” A confirmative hum came from the other line. Renjun’s mouth popped open. “So you mean that the stories of your past heats have been about… Mark?”

“Oh. Did I not mention him by name yet? Yeah Mark’s been helping me out since basically the beginning,” he could almost hear the shrug through the phone. “But, he doesn’t deserve me right now.”

Renjun could tell that the other was trying to play it off like a joke, but sadness rang true in his words.

“What’s going on, Hyuck?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Renjun tsked, unimpressed.

“Tell me. I’m not stupid; I know something more is going on.” An annoyed whine came from the phone.

“Fine. But if you make fun of me, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Sure, I’m terrified. Now spill.” Donghyuck let out a long sigh, while a few moments of silence passed before he finally spoke.

“Well, Mark and I have been… something? I don’t know. Something more than just ‘owner’, blegh I hate that word, and pet. We’ve gone on plenty of things that could be classified as dates. He takes me places he doesn’t take anyone else, not even Jisung!” His voice then got soft.

“I really like him, Junnie. I don’t know what to do. I thought he liked me too, but,” Donghyuck cleared his throat, sniffing hard in the process as if trying to hold back tears. “He brought home this girl a few days ago. You know our hearing is really good and I heard them… he- he- they,” his voice was wavering and he couldn’t continue.

A deep scowl set into Renjun’s forehead. How dare this human treat his best (and only, unless Jeno and Jaemin counted? He didn’t know) friend this way! Donghyuck was as radiant and vital as the sun, and deserved to be treated as such.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Renjun spoke, voice flat. Donghyuck let out a watery laugh at his statement.

“No need. I’ll probably kill him before you do,” he sniffed once more, before breathing deeply. “So, yeah. That sucks. He doesn’t treat me like just a friend. Even Chenle has been teasing him about it recently. Jisung even calls us Mom and Dad!”

“Who’s Chenle?”

“Oh, Jisungie’s best friend. He’s a terrier hybrid and is one of Lucas’s hybrids. His other one is a beagle hybrid named Yangyang. You’ll probably meet them eventually; we all kind of hang out together. Even though… we actually haven’t in awhile now.”

Renjun nodded, recognizing some of those names, before he realized that Donghyuck couldn’t see him.

“Ah, okay. Well… what are you going to do Hyuck?” A groan resounded from the other side.

“I don’t knoooooww! My body aches so badly if I’m not at least cuddled during my heat because I’ve become too accustomed to being taken care of! But… I don’t want to be with that asshole right now!” Renjun hummed, thinking.

“Have you talked to Mark about it? Like, asking him why he brought that girl home.” Donghyuck scoffed at that.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Mark! I saw and _heard_ that you brought home a total bombshell and fucked her into next week, even though you’ve been treating me like your partner for the last year and a half?’”

“I mean. Whatever works.”

“Ugh!” Renjun heard pillows being softly hit before the other spoke again. “This sucks. I hate it here. Can I get a refund on life?”

The line was quiet from both sides for a second before they both broke out into melodious laughter at Donghyuck’s dramatics. Renjun’s heart ached for his friend. He wished there was some way to help him; maybe, he could get Jeno and Jaemin to kick some sense into Mark’s big head. Which, Hyuck had been right about. His head was a bit big.

But, it was charming.

“If you think of any way I can help you out, let me know Hyuck. I mean, I can basically go outside completely normally now, so if I need to get a taxi over there to pummel him, just say the word.” They both giggled softly at the ridiculous and unthreatening claim.

“Of course. I’ll let you know if anything comes to mind. I’m currently debating hiding alarm clocks all around his room and setting them to go off at intervals of ten minutes all throughout the night.” Renjun laughed sharply at that thought and mental image.

“Also, Renjun?”

“Yeah, Hyuck?”

“I’m really happy for you. I’m really proud, seriously.”

Renjun’s heart warmed once more. There was that word again. Proud.

“Thanks, Hyuckie. Love you,” he smiled softly. It had been something Donghyuck had said randomly over text a few days back. That he loved Renjun.

Renjun decided he loved the other as well. It wasn’t hard to. His friendship was as invaluable as Donghyuck himself.

“Love you too, Junnie.”

As the call beeped to an end, Renjun flopped backwards into his pillows and hoard of blankets on his bed. He couldn’t imagine the internal conflict Hyuck must be going through. His heat had been hard enough last time, and he had been alone the whole time. So, being with someone and then having that taken away?

Someone you love?

His mind drifted to Jeno’s touch when he had been in that state. How it seemed to quell the fire under his skin and turn the painful thrum of arousal into something much softer and nicer. If Renjun had gotten that every time he got a heat, he’d probably look forward to them.

Putting himself in place of having that for years, and then suddenly trying to go without it, cold turkey, he shuddered. The thought alone made his heart ache.

Donghyuck didn’t deserve that. But, maybe if he had just talked with Mark it could be worked out? Every time Renjun had a problem, it seemed to always disappear when he talked it out with Jeno and Jaemin. Maybe he should push a little bit harder to get his friend to speak up.

After all, he deserved happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was still fun to read, some important things happened but I can't help but to feel like the pace is slowing down, lol. Maybe it's just because I'm not used to writing a slow burn like this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was stuck a couple chapters back, but this story is seriously writing itself at this point. I've never had an easier time writing something, actually. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
> 
> sorry for writing mistakes!

Renjun spent most of the next day with Jaemin. It was one of the rarer days where Jeno had to work from the company he was currently designing for’s building. Jaemin had just completed the campaign he had been shooting for, for some cologne brand the past week or so.

He had told Renjun all about it. It was a whole giant process, since Jaemin would be the face of the brand. He had done photo shoot after photo shoot, and then came shooting the commercials. They had done a few varieties of commercials. Jaemin also promised that as soon as he got the photos he would share them with Renjun.

Renjun wasn’t sure how he felt about that, considering the way Jaemin had described some of the shots… they sounded a bit scandalous.

Huddled up next to each other on the couch, not quite cuddling, Renjun turned to face Jaemin when there was a lull in their conversation. The pink-haired boy was typing something out on his phone, and Renjun couldn’t help but to observe the other’s beautiful side profile.

Once again, Renjun is not an idiot. Jeno and Jaemin are both objectively attractive people, and they make a very attractive couple. But, observing his features from up this close set his heart to fast mode.

His nose was strong, and the sharp line of his jaw was carved into the side of his face. Even the natural pout of his lips extended in a perfect way. If he had met Jaemin in a different way, he probably would have asked the pink-haired boy to be his muse. His features were practically begging to be painted.

Speaking of painting, he almost wanted to go back outside. Not just to paint, but to… smell that air and feel what you couldn’t ever quite get from being inside. But first.

“Jaemin?” The other let out a low hum to let him know that he was listening. “Do you think Mark and Hyuck should be together?” Looking up, Jaemin locked his phone and placed it on the couch beside him, shifting farther under his blanket to get comfortable.

“Well, they definitely both have been pining after each other for years, so, yeah? But they’re both so dense, I’m almost certain it’ll take a couple more years before anything happens,” he shrugged noncommittally.

“It’s just,” Renjun pulled his bottom lip between his front teeth to tug at it nervously, “Hyuck said Mark brought someone over? A girl? And they, yknow…” He trailed off as Jaemin’s eyebrows rose.

“They what?”

“Slept together,” he whispered out, clearing his throat and scratching his neck, pretending that just saying that alone didn’t make him flush.

“Wait, what?”

“Uh, yeah. Hyuck said Mark brought a girl over a few days ago and he could hear them… doing it.” Jaemin’s mouth opened, an incredulous look on his face before he scoffed.

“Seriously? How dumb can someone be?” He threw his hands in the air, “Why would he do that when he has Hyuck right there? And they’re obviously disgustingly in love with one another!”

“He also said his heat is to start soon? So, he’s not sure what to do,” Renjun mumbled, unsure if this was breaking some kind of friend code to tell Jaemin. But, he wanted to share his life with Jaemin. Even though, most of it already involved him.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m going to call him later. I know he’s probably at the studio right now, but he’s about to get an earful,” he shook his head, a disappointed look on his face.

“Yeah, I kind of thought that might be a good idea. For you or Jeno to talk to him, I mean. I don’t want Donghyuck to be hurt.” Jaemin looked at Renjun, sincerity and determination on the hybrid’s face.

“You know, you’re very sweet.” Renjun was taken aback by the sudden confession, reduced to a stuttering mess at the straightforward compliment.

“W-what? I-I mean he-he’s my friend! I should want t-the best for him… right?” He looked up at the pink-haired boy with nervous, inquiring eyes. Tilting his head, pink hair fell into Jaemin’s eyes before he shook it out of the way and smiled.

“Of course. I’m just saying I think you’re very sweet.”

Jaemin leaned forward, and ran his long fingers through Renjun’s soft hair, before working his way to his ears. He had gotten very good at this; ear pets, that is. So he relaxed into the other’s touch.

His hands came down from his hair, and cupped his jaw, his skin surprisingly soft. Blinking big eyes up at the other, he was unprepared when soft lips came to place a gentle peck on his cheek, as his face was turned marginally by the other. This wasn’t the first time Jaemin had given him a kiss, but his cheek was much closer to his lips than his forehead.

Even though Renjun knew that logically Jaemin would never kiss him on the lips, since he had Jeno, he couldn’t help the rush of butterflies and nerves in his tummy. He thought back to Donghyuck’s claim of attraction to the other two.

Maybe he was right.

Fond sparkling eyes looked back at Renjun, when the other finally pulled back slightly, rubbing his thumb along the line of the hybrid’s jaw. His big signature smile stretched across his face at that, before he wrapped his arms around Renjun and pulled him in for one of his overbearing squeezing hugs.

And just like that, the moment had dissipated into something he was much more used to.

After wrestling a bit with the other, and making Jaemin cry from laughing so hard by tickling him, they went and gathered Renjun’s supplies from the balcony storage closet.

Jaemin was just as patient as Jeno had been the day before with Renjun. Moving slowly, grasping his hand in reassurance, and giving him small encouraging ear rubs. Once he was settled into his chair, and his focus once again shifted to the canvas below his brushes, his fears left his mind.

This time, when Renjun was left alone on the balcony, he took full notice of everything. A few shallow and shaky breaths later, he opened his eyes and reassured Jaemin that he would be fine, as long as he didn’t venture too far away from him.

So he spent his time outside. This time there was no gathering of people at the gazebo, just the soft sounds of water from the fountain below and the occasional noise of cars rushing by.

It didn’t take long for Renjun to finish his scenery painting. After all, it was just something basic to get him back into the flow and to flex his artistic muscle a bit.

With the way Jeno and Jaemin reacted to the finished painting, you would have thought Renjun had created the next Mona Lisa. They both seemed to be awestruck; Jaemin going so far as to grasp his chest as if he was in pain by its ‘beauty’.

Elbowing the overdramatic boy, Renjun giggled softly. Mrs. Lee always told him his art and his voice were beautiful, but it was in soft passing comments. He had never gotten such a big reaction to his art, and it would be a lie to say that Renjun didn’t enjoy it at least a little bit.

That night after dinner, when Jeno asked if it was okay if he hung the painting above their couch, Renjun snuck his phone out and snapped a quick picture of the two fawning over the art piece and joking with one another, both of their smiles big on their faces.

He had an idea of what he might want to paint next.

Apparently, Mark had some kind of performance gala that both Jeno and Jaemin had been invited to months ago that was coming up this weekend. Renjun immediately thought of Donghyuck and if his heat would start before, and if he was going to risk going or not.

That must mean Mark was not planning on helping Hyuck through it then.

Renjun’s jaw clenched at the thought of his friend being in pain because of some dumb guy. Maybe Jaemin hadn’t been able to talk any sense into the other.

Jeno couldn’t stop fretting over leaving Renjun alone for ‘so long’. The party would start at 6pm and extended late into the night, which would be the longest the hybrid had been left alone since moving in with them.

Sure, both of the other’s had been at work at the same time, but usually it was never longer than just an hour or two. But Renjun wasn’t worried. He would just be sitting inside their apartment, and more likely than not he would be asleep far before they had even left to come back home.

Jaemin and Renjun took turns reassuring Jeno that he would be fine alone. Renjun even took his phone out of his pocket and called Jeno right then and there to prove how easy it would be to reach them if need be. His worried eyes eventually settled as he was reassured.

Renjun couldn’t help but to find the fact that Jeno was far more worried than himself about it all amusing. Entertaining himself and being alone was his personal specialty. He figured Jeno would have known that by now.

The days passed and as the weekend approached, Renjun found himself being shown supplies for every single emergency that could possibly occur while they were gone.

After being questioned once more about where the fire extinguisher was located, Jaemin drug a slightly apprehensive Jeno upstairs to begin getting ready for the event that night.

Renjun had been talking to Donghyuck the whole week, seeing if anything had gotten better between him and Mark. Of course, the answer was a resounding no. The other hybrid just said he was thankful that his heat hadn’t hit yet, and that he was even going so far as to risk going to the gala tonight in order to ‘stick it’ to the other boy.

Mark was bringing the same girl he had brought home last week as his date tonight, and so apparently Donghyuck had found himself a date as well. He was going to be accompanied by one of his friends, Yangyang. Who, if Renjun remembered correctly, was Lucas’s dog hybrid.

Donghyuck was in the middle of divulging his master “make Mark jealous and regret ever even so much as looking at someone else” plan, when Renjun looked up and saw Jeno and Jaemin descending the stairs fully dressed.

And, okay, wow.

This was fine.

Quickly rushing out a goodbye and a cheer of good luck, he hung up the phone to face the other two.

Both boys were dressed to the nines. Perfectly tailored slim fit suits adorned both of them; Jeno’s in a radiant navy and Jaemin’s in a midnight black, highlighting his recently touched up cotton candy pink hair.

They were laughing together at something, and grasping each other’s hands closely, Jaemin lifting them to his lips pressing soft little pecks across Jeno’s knuckles.

Renjun felt like his brain slowed down, only able to process a fraction of what he usually could. An uncomfortable frustration ran through his body, causing him to furrow his brow. His gut rolled uncomfortably with a sensation he tried to swallow down but was unable to.

Whatever the hell this feeling was, he hated it. It’s like his skin was itching with frustration, something lighter than anger but more powerful than nerves washing over him.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Renjun’s focus was on the carpet with a scowl etched onto his face. Jeno spotted him and walked over to garner the other’s attention.

“Hey, are you feeling alright, Renjun?” He asked timidly, noting the uncomfortable expression on the other.

God, why were his eyes getting that prickly feeling of right before he would cry? He was not about to cry for some random stupid reason that he wasn’t even sure of.

What? Was he upset that they both looked undeniably stunning? That they were both prettier than any male lead in any of the dramas he had binged? That when he saw them look that way at one another, so close, love dripping from the touches and words they exchanged he wished he could get those things too?

Wait.

“Renjun?” Jeno repeated softer, dropping onto one knee in order to tilt his face into Renjun’s line of sight that was still focused on the ground. He softly grasped the hybrid’s chin, lifting it slightly to connect their eyes. Sucking in a breath through his teeth, Renjun forced a soft smile onto his face.

“You both look really good,” he complimented, turning his head to face Jaemin as well, making sure he knew he was speaking to the both of them.

“Thank you, Injunnie! I bet you would look great in a suit too! Maybe a matching grey one? Oh my god, Jeno, do you think I could ask Doyoung to tailor one more for Renjun? We’d look so cute! Black, grey and blue, can you imagine,” he chattered on as Jeno moved his thumb lightly across the other’s chin, handling him with a delicate touch.

Renjun had to swallow once more when he was faced with that look. That look that he sometimes got from either of them that was so full of adoration. Eyes open and imploring. He couldn’t handle it, so he shifted back slowly, prompting Jeno to drop his hand and stand back up.

“So, you’re okay?” He asked the hybrid, now shooting him his crinkled eyes. And how could Renjun not be okay when Jeno looked at him like that?

“Yeah, I am. You guys look great. If there are any fancy desserts I expect to be brought the best ones back,” he joked, trying to turn his own mood around. Jaemin walked over to the other, grabbing his pinky and pressing their thumbs together to promise, while Jeno looked on with humor across his face.

They left shortly afterwards when Jaemin called out that their car had arrived. Jeno turned around and called through the closing door to remember to call them if he needed anything.

When a rattle followed by a soft click signaled that the door had been locked, Renjun looked back down to the floor again, mulling his thoughts over. Pondering what he had just gone through his head, and how to process it all.

Because, if he wanted to get showered in love the way they did to one another, did that mean he wanted to be with one of them? Or he just wanted to be loved intimately that way by someone?

A girlfriend, a boyfriend, a partner?

He pictured himself with a tall man that looked like one of the leads in his dramas. He pictured them holding hands and chatting softly to one another, receiving soft kisses and loving cuddles and support whenever he wanted. The thoughts were nice, but they didn’t illicit the same feelings he had earlier.

Renjun then pictured the same thing with Jeno and Jaemin in turn. Holding Jeno’s hand, Jaemin kissing him after he won in Mario Kart, Jeno close behind him in bed breathing lightly onto the nape of his neck.

A jolt of goose bumps shocked his skin as those thoughts rushed through him, but when he let his mind wander to being between the two, both their arms draped across his waist, loving kisses being pressed to his lips and his neck at the same time, Renjun couldn’t suppress a shiver so hard that it made him sit up straight.

Okay.

So.

Was he just jealous of their relationship? Jeno and Jaemin obviously loved one another and had a very wonderful relationship. Who wouldn’t want to be in their place with someone they loved as well?

That had to be it.

Breathing out slowly, Renjun shook his head, bangs flopping into his eyes. He grasped his tail and brought it across his lap to run his fingers through the soft fur. How could he ever be in a relationship anyways? Constantly cooping himself up, afraid of the outside world?

He could never meet someone with the way he currently was.

Once again, he couldn’t help but to feel so stupid at his fears.

A small voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he had already made a big step, going out to the balcony. And not just once, but a few times now. Yes, he still needed someone nearby, but if you had told Renjun he would be painting outside on a balcony a couple months ago he would have laughed in your face.

He had made progress. It just felt like too little was happening too slowly.

Renjun picked up his phone and called Hyuck again, but the call went to voice message. He probably was already in his own car on the way to the gala. Mark had to be there much earlier than the others, so Donghyuck must be far too distracted by Jisung and Yangyang to notice.

Which, he couldn’t blame him for. Renjun thought back to all the fancy cars he had seen on TV. Maybe Hyuck was in some kind of stretch limo sipping on champagne.

Renjun wanted to be fancy in a stretch limo and drink champagne too.

His eyes shifted to the balcony, and he forced himself up quickly and walked the few steps to the sliding doors, and opened it.

The sun was almost completely set. Only navy blues that reminded Renjun of Jeno’s suit were dispersed through the sky next to the much darker blues and blacks. There was no natural light out, so he wasn’t going to paint. He was just going to… exist.

A sharp gust dusted over his cheeks causing the hybrid to shiver. Shuffling back inside, Renjun grabbed the blanket he had had next to him before inching his way out onto the balcony. Taking a seat in the chair he always painted in, Renjun tried to stare up at the sky, or at least try and breathe in the outside air.

Isn’t that what people did outside? Their arms outstretched and they spun in circles taking in the sunshine before tumbling onto the field of flowers beneath their feet?

Renjun thought that maybe he should stop watching so much TV, as he timidly shifted to a chair slightly closer to the railing of the balcony. His legs were crouched as low to the ground as he could go without getting the blanket dirty, and he moved at a snail’s pace.

Finally adjusting himself to face the outside, he let out a long, shaky breath.

He looked briefly at the quickly darkening sky, before closing his eyes tightly.

He could do this. It was easy!

He could do things alone.

He had to.

Breathing deeply through his nose and then out through his mouth, Renjun slowly opened one eye before the other followed. Snuggling deeper into the plush chair, he cocooned himself in his blanket and forced himself to stare out beyond their apartment.

So many things existed out there. So many people bustled day to day living their full lives, spending next to no time inside their own homes. Confined to offices, cars, desks, but still…outside.

His head lolled to the side, as he shifted slightly his breathing finally following its normal pattern. The wind was quickly drying his lips, chapping them in a way he had never really felt before. Even the tip of his nose was starting to chill slightly from the temperature.

But, Renjun kind of liked it? Maybe?

There were still so many things rushing through his mind. The half discovery that he was still trying to figure out when it came to his nonexistent love life. Being unable to comfort his best friend in person. And, of course, going outside.

He would focus on this obstacle first.

Leaning his head back, he tried to get accustomed to the feeling of the winter air and the way it seemed to fill his lungs in a different way than the air inside ever had. Donghyuck had mentioned in passing while Renjun was complaining about his fear, that cats usually wanted lots of time outside. Some even needed outside time. Everyone was different, he had reminded his friend, but he couldn’t help but to think that maybe Hyuck was right. At least a tiny bit.

If Renjun sat and thought too hard about where he was and what he was doing, his heart would speed up and his palms would sweat, but if he just relaxed back and breathed in the evening air? It seemed to calm a part of him that he didn’t know needed soothing. Almost like when he discovered how much he needed cuddles and even ear pets.

Feeling at least mildly happy about getting himself out here, he couldn’t help but to think what Jeno and Jaemin might say to him in that moment. If their eyes would light up when they saw him out here. If they would embrace him and join him out here laughing into the cold night.

He curled up into a ball, feeling satisfied at the blanket’s warmth and the vague scent of firewood somewhere farther off accompanied by the running water of the fountain below him. He was really doing this. And he was enjoying it too.

Smiling and burying his nose into the fluffy material, soft purrs resonated through his chest. They were quiet and definitely not as robust as they could be, but they were there.

The sky became more and more entrancing as some stars became visible, though not very bright due to the light pollution from the city. Still it was beautiful. Somewhere along the line, as Renjun stared fondly at the stars wondering if he could paint each one individually, his eyes became heavy.

So, he fell asleep bundled up outside for the first time in his life.

When Renjun woke up, it was to the sounds of loud laughter and just as loud hushing noises. He was pretty sure that those were Jeno and Jaemin’s voices, but for some reason he felt so exhausted that he couldn’t call out to them.

His joints were frozen stiff, as his body finally caught up to his brain to tell him how cold he actually was. Teeth chattering, full body shakes wracked through him immediately as he tried to bury himself in the blanket he brought with him that had been warm enough earlier.

But, if they were home already, what time was it?

“Nono, why’s it soooo cooold!” Jaemin spoke loudly, his words flowing into the next one.

“Is… is the balcony door open? Or are the windows just really clean?” They both chuckled at that, before a sharp intake of breath could be heard.

“Wait. Renjun?” The hybrid could here soft footsteps, and Jeno’s inquiring voice. Renjun tried to call out, but he was shaking so hard all he could emit was a pitiful mewl.

Jeno strutted onto the balcony, his eyes searching for a few moments before landing on the shivering hybrid. His eyes widened almost comically at the sight of Renjun, before he stumbled lightly in order to get to the other.

“What are you doing out here?” Jeno asked, Renjun’s eyes now going over to a flabbergasted Jaemin at the doorway. A warm hand pressed against Renjun’s cheek that had him attempting to release a purr at the heat. His hand had to have been the warmest thing he’d ever felt.

“Injunnie? How long have you been outside?”

“He’s _freezing_ , Jaemin!” Scooping him up while trying to keep the blanket wrapped tightly around him, Jeno began to move him back inside. “Why would you stay outside that long? And alone?”

“A-are yo-you proud-d of m-me?” Renjun was able to get out between the sounds of his teeth clacking together. He met Jaemin’s eyes that softened at his statement, coming to press his hands to either side of Renjun’s face, while he was buried in Jeno’s warm embrace.

“You went outside by yourself?” Renjun nodded at Jaemin’s question, “Of course, we’re proud of you, baby. That’s amazing! We just wish you wouldn’t have stayed out there and gotten yourself this cold. What happened?”

“Fell ‘sleep,” Renjun mumbled, as Jeno began to lay him onto his own bed, wrapping him in his stack of blankets, trying to warm the hybrid as much as he could. “Was comfortable enough t’ fall ‘sleep. Aren’t y-you proud?” Jeno rubbed his hands up and down Renjun’s swaddled arms, trying to use friction to thaw the smaller.

“Baby,” Jaemin whispered out, his tone and face littered with worry.

“I told you we shouldn’t have left,” Renjun heard Jeno faintly murmur underneath his breath, harshly. Jaemin shot him an exasperated look.

“We can’t just hover over him constantly, Jeno. He’s an adult,” the other scoffed softly at that shaking his head, rubbing Renjun’s arms even harder now. Renjun couldn’t hold back the pout at the two’s argument. This was his fault wasn’t it?

“D-don’t argue, please. I just should ha-have stayed wake,” Renjun mumbled out, big eyes and pink nose poking out from the blanket to look at the other two.

“It’s fine, Junnie, don’t worry about it,” Jeno responded with a tight lipped smile. Renjun didn’t like the look of the fake smile on the other’s face; it was upsetting.

“Should we just cover him in more blankets? Should I take his temperature?” Jaemin questioned to no one in particular, staring off and debating what to do next.

“Jus’ cuddle,” Renjun squeaked out. Jeno’s hands stopped rubbing warmth into his bones, and Jaemin cocked his head to look at him.

Jaemin went around Jeno, and leaned over to press his hand to the hybrid’s forehead. He was still a bit cool, but it didn’t feel as if he had a fever or anything. Jaemin then removed his suit jacket and untucked his dress shirt before removing his belt.

“Really?” Jeno shot at the other. Jaemin shrugged and crawled to the side of Renjun’s bed that was against the wall before pulling the ball of cat hybrid and blankets into his arms.

“He wants cuddles. If my baby wants cuddles, he gets cuddles.”

Renjun figured that just a few more comments like that from Jaemin would probably do the trick to heat him up, as his cheeks and chest warmed. Jeno looked at his partner and huffed, shaking his head, before discarding his clothes the same way Jaemin had

He climbed onto the bed grabbing Renjun from the other side, so that he was perfectly snuggled between the two. Sighing, he wiggled down more into his blanket cocoon, cheeks red, but brain still fuzzy with cold.

When arms on his waist tightened and warm breath lightly jostled the hairs on the back of his neck, Renjun couldn’t hold back the shudder that wracked through his body.

“Still cold? Is it not any better?” Renjun quickly shook his head no, before snuggling backwards into Jaemin’s chest even more, allowing Jeno to lie more comfortably on the bed.

Renjun was in the middle of a Jeno and Jaemin sandwich, and he couldn’t find it in himself to regret falling asleep outside in the cold even though he could already feel his throat becoming scratchy. His last thought before he drifted off was that maybe he’d have to fall asleep on the balcony more often now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you guys think? there were a lot of soft moments in this chapter   
> (●´ω｀●)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta so I apologize for mistakes ;;

Rolling over, a soft glow of sunlight streamed in to light up Renjun’s face. He let out a small groan as he stretched his limbs as far as they could go. The warmth of his bed encased him so wonderfully he almost fell back asleep right away, but an uncomfortable tickle in his throat caused him to cough.

When he coughed he noticed that it was hard to breathe through his nose, which made him breathe in through his mouth which just made him cough even more.

Great.

The warmth of his bed quickly became uncomfortably hot, so he removed some of the blankets while strong shivers wracked through his body as if he was freezing. Sneezing loudly, a disgusting stream of snot leaked from his nose that caused him to quickly recoil and turn his head to find a tissue box.

As he was cleaning his nose off and blowing it right after, a soft knock came from his slightly ajar door as Jeno opened it fully. He smiled sadly at the hybrid that was sniffing between shivers, his mouth open to breathe through.

“Hey, Junnie. How are you feeling?” Looking around for a place to dispose of the used tissue, Renjun groaned.

“I think I’m sick.” Jeno chuckled at that as he entered the room, a thermometer in hand.

“Yeah, you definitely are,” Renjun sighed out in frustration before he began to shiver again. “Can I get your temperature really quick?”

Nodding, Jeno knelt next to the bed before placing the back of his hand onto the hybrid’s slightly damp forehead. Renjun took the thermometer and put it into his mouth, used to having had to use them for Mrs. Lee occasionally.

After a minute or so, a soft beeping came from the device. Taking it out, Renjun pulled it up and squinted, forcing his eyes to focus on the small numbers. 102.2 °F/ 39 °C is what it read across the tiny screen.

Leaning back to rest his head onto his pillows again, he handed the stick over to Jeno who read it before a grimace went across his face. He looked up to the hybrid whose mouth was still open even though his eyes had begun to flutter shut again with sleep.

“Renjun?” Jeno whispered out, careful not to be too loud. “If your fever goes even slightly higher we’ll have to take you to the doctor, okay? Right now Jaemin is making a soup that is supposed to help ‘cure anything’ according to him.” Renjun’s eyes closed as he scrunched his eyebrows up in annoyance.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled out, wiping the back of his hand across his nose.

“You have to eat something. It’s the only way you’ll get your strength back. Drink lots of water too.”

He felt a sturdy hand sneak its way between Renjun’s back and his bed sheets, before helping him to sit up fully. Opening his eyes, his lips were met with a glass of water that he tried to sip in order to appease Jeno.

When he was laid back down, his brain that was functioning much slower than normal finally picked up on what the other had said.

“Wait,” he gasped, voice nasally, “the doctors? Like, leave?” Worry leaked through his words before he sneezed again, covering his nose and mouth just in time before he got all his grossness over Jeno. Handing the hybrid a tissue, he softly ran his hands through the other’s hair.

“Yes. The doctors. We aren’t going to let you go untreated if things get worse. _Especially_ if things get worse.”

Renjun’s whines of worry and complaint came out pathetic and soft due to his stuffed nose and sore throat. He was too tired to argue much anyways; plus, more sleep would make him feel better sooner. So, he laid back down giving up trying to convince Jeno he wouldn’t need a doctor and snuggled into the blankets, while the other made sure he was tucked in completely.

The day passed in a very strange blur of ear pets and sneezes. Whenever he would awake, either Jeno or Jaemin would be right there as if they magically knew right when he would wake up before even he himself did.

Jaemin’s magical soup, as he had called it, was delicious. Renjun only regretted that he couldn’t fully enjoy it due to his sickness.

He also found himself more physically needy and cuddly while awake. It became normal for Renjun to fall asleep wrapped around the arm of one of the others, or to wake up with someone’s hands gently combing through his hair.

Unaware of what time it was, Renjun pried his eyes open once again, seeing neither of the boys nearby. He was able to breathe out of his right nostril a little bit, so he took that as a positive sign.

He grabbed the biggest blanket on his bed and wrapped it around himself, enveloping him fully. Shuffling down the hallway to the living room, the only thing visible was the hybrid’s head.

When he rounded into the living room, he spotted Jaemin in the kitchen stirring something on the stove while Jeno was in his usual spot on the couch, laptop set up, and typing away. At the sound of his shuffling feet and heavy sniffling, Jeno’s head turned towards him.

Renjun continued his slow scuffle towards the other, who was looking on with a vaguely fond expression.

“Junnie, how are you feeling?”

“I can breathe out of this one,” he pointed towards his nostril, taking in a deep breath through it that stuffed up a few times before he sneezed immediately after.

“Injunnie! Baby, I’m making some more soup. It’s a different flavor this time,” Jaemin called, his eyes shining softly at the other.

“Your foods yummy,” Renjun spoke out lowly, trying to get the words through his chattering teeth. “Hug please,” he opened his large blanket to enclose Jeno in it, as he situated next to him on the couch.

Both boys chuckled softly at the display of affection that seemed so uncharacteristic for Renjun. It still left them slightly bewildered every time he did something like this. Closing his eyes, he snuggled his head into the crook of Jeno’s neck, breathing through his open mouth as he let his eyes drift shut.

A few moments later, a thermometer came into contact with his lips. Renjun groaned at the interruption to his nap, but obliged opening his mouth to secure it. Not opening his eyes when it beeped, he felt Jeno take it from his mouth.

“Hm, 100.2 °F / 37.9 °C. That’s better than yesterday morning, but you still definitely have a fever.” Humming noncommittally Renjun snuggled close situating himself, only the occasional shiver wracking its way through his body.

“I told you my magical soup would work.”

“Yes you did. I’m sorry I ever doubted you, babe.”

The two began to engage in a soft conversation that lulled Renjun off to sleep once more. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept this much. Sure, he had been sick before, but nothing this bad since he was at least in his early teens.

He can’t remember a time after he turned 15 that he had gotten sick; he could only think of his memories of Mrs. Lee being sick and him taking care of her consequently. It was almost worth the stuffy nose and pain every time he swallowed just to be doted on for once.

Before he knew it, he was sat on the floor, shakily raising a spoon to his lips of a soup just as delicious as yesterday’s. Jeno and Jaemin sat on the other side of the table, also enjoying their portions of soup, dunking spoonfuls of rice into it before eating.

“So, please no more falling asleep outside in freezing weather. Especially if you’re only in sweatpants and a t-shirt.” Jaemin requested.

“I had a blanket too,” Renjun trailed off, mumbling into his food.

“Still.”

“Hmmokay,” he hummed softly, raising another spoonful to his lips. “How was Mark’s thing?”

Jaemin shot Jeno a knowing and amused smile. Apparently something had happened, and Renjun tried to clear his brain in order to focus on whatever they were surely about to tell him.

“About that,” Jeno started softly, hesitance in his voice.

“We caught Mark and Hyuck making out in the bathroom before he immediately went into heat.” Renjun’s eyes bugged out of his head, looking between the two for confirmation.

“Yup,” Jeno answered his gaze, popping the ‘p’.

“So, Mark left with Donghyuck only a couple hours into the whole thing and begged Jeno and I to basically help out with everything left going on. Like the auction, the speech he was supposed to give, _and_ his performance. Of course, we didn’t perform ourselves, not that we couldn’t,” he sent Renjun a wink that completely unfazed him, mostly due to his sickness.

“Yeah, so we were left running around and talking to people and trying to make sure everything still went on. It did-“

“Well we’re both such amazing friends and both very good under pressure so,” Jaemin shrugged, “I’m not surprised we didn’t have very many struggles.” Jeno made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

“Jaem, are you forgetting the part where you almost started crying because you thought you had lost the bidding paddles?” Jaemin elbowed the other softly in the side, making the corners of Renjun’s mouth turn upwards in a smile.

“Anyways, after we got everything sorted out, Jeno and I decided to treat ourselves to the open bar.” That explained the boisterous laughter that had came along with the two of them arriving home that night.

“I should probably text Hyuck,” Renjun trailed off, sniffling.

“He won’t be anywhere near his phone for at least another day, so I wouldn’t stress about it.”

Nodding, he looked back down to his soup and continued to ladle it into his mouth. Well, hopefully Mark and him talked it out and didn’t just jump each other’s bones like they would in dramas. Trying to make a mental note to text Hyuck later, Renjun began to shake once more with chills.

“Still have chills, baby?” Jaemin asked softly. Renjun nodded at the other who looked on with sympathy in his eyes.

“I wish there was more we could do to help you, Junnie” Jeno lamented, looking down into his bowl and stirring it slowly with his spoon.

“The cuddles and soup are more than enough-“ his sentence broke off with a sneeze. “Thank you.” Pouting slightly, Jaemin tilted his head.

“Sick Injunnie is much fonder of skinship than healthy Injunnie,” his voice began to turn smug. “If I didn’t know better, I would almost think that you’re just faking it so you can get extra love from us.” Renjun sputtered at the accusation that prompted a small coughing fit. Jeno elbowed his partner harshly.

“He’s still not feeling well. Don’t tease him.”

Heat seeped onto Renjun’s already tinted cheeks. Jaemin began to whine about just trying to be silly with Renjun, as the hybrid began to think over what the other had said.

He was definitely sick, but was he seeking them out for more cuddles because he just wanted to? Thinking of if he was sick around Donghyuck would he do the same thing, his mind immediately said yes.

The idea of Jeno or Jaemin’s arms around him appealed to him more for some reason, but he would definitely get just as close and cuddly with Hyuck. He had gotten physically closer to Hyuck first anyways, so it only made sense.

Nodding his head to himself, Renjun decided that this was normal. Wanting affection when you were sick was completely normal. Especially if you demanded to be cuddled before you slept.

It seemed like the only rational thing a sick person could do.

“I’m gonna go sleep some more,” he stood up, only slightly unbalanced, wrapping the blanket even tighter around his small frame.

“Want cuddles?” Jaemin asked. Renjun began to nod, before he pouted a bit.

“Yes, but from Jeno. You teased me.”

Jaemin’s mouth popped open in surprise while Jeno let out a belly laugh at his partner’s face. Ignoring the whines and complaints of Renjun not being fair and punishing him when he knew that Jaemin liked cuddles the most, he headed down the hallway to the bathroom.

After readying himself for bed, he shivered his way under his blankets before bundling himself up once more. Jeno entered afterwards, leaving the door slightly cracked open behind him.

“Sleepy?” Jeno looked down at the hybrid with an amused expression.

Renjun simply nodded and buried his nose into the covers and rolled a tiny bit so that Jeno could settle behind him and bring him into his secure embrace. Large hands brushed through the strands of his hair and dusted lightly over his ears.

His fur was probably getting gross from being squished into blankets 24/7 and the lack of baths the past two days, but Jeno didn’t seem to mind as Renjun let his tail rest lightly onto Jeno’s legs. Only letting his fingers trace over it, before going back up to his ear to pet more.

A stuttered and much deeper purr tried its hardest to come from Renjun’s congested chest. Which had Jeno laugh lightly into his ear from behind before whispering out a soft goodnight and wiggling closer and laying his head on their shared pillow.

Waking up, Renjun immediately noticed how much easier it was to breathe. He immediately reached over and grabbed the water next to his bed, taking a sip. When the liquid went down his throat, there was only a soft annoying tickle that lingered. No more soreness!

He did sneeze a few times getting out of bed, but he felt much, _much_ better than he had yesterday. A blush crossed his cheeks when he thought about just how clingy he had been the past couple of days. Hopefully he wouldn’t get teased by them for it.

Jeno must have left after Renjun fell asleep last night. Trying not to smile at the scent of the other still lingering on his sheets, Renjun quickly tidied up his bed, eager to let the other two know that he was much better and they needn’t worry about taking him to the doctor.

Even though he had enjoyed the attention and being coddled by Jeno and Jaemin, it was not worth risking getting sick again if he had to leave and go into the city. Especially the doctors.

Thinking back to how forceful the people were that had first taken him from his last home caused his arms to be covered with goose bumps.

Dressing in one of the giant sweaters Jaemin had brought home from one of his campaigns, Renjun slipped out of his room.

He had made sure to tell Jaemin how ridiculous the price was, especially for a sweater that was basically a dress because it was so oversized. But it sure was comfy, and the material was extra warm.

Okay, maybe he really liked it.

When he got to the end of the hallway, Renjun didn’t notice anyone at first. Straining his ears, they twitched trying to pick up any noise. It was a weekday after all. Maybe they were both out working.

He went over to the kitchen, opening the fridge to get some of Jaemin’s leftover soup to eat for breakfast. And the difference it made having an unstuffy nose showed him just how much of the flavors he had been missing out on.

Humming into his bowl, he finished quickly before padding his way back into his room to check his phone. Maybe they had left him a message telling him where they had gone.

His intuition had been right. Unlocking his phone he saw a couple of texts from Jaemin letting him know that he had run out to do some light grocery shopping at the market not too far down the street, and if he needed anything to call him immediately. Apparently, Jeno would be out most of the day with a new possible client.

Going back to his other messages, Renjun noticed that he had a couple texts from Donghyuck and one from a number that he didn’t have saved. He clicked on his friend’s texts first.

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

fuck are you awake fuck

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

renjun fuck hello are you still sick? i don’t care if you are but are you there can you talk?

Hyuck♡/ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\

well you better be home

The last text had been sent to him around thirty-five minutes ago. Renjun typed out a quick “what’s wrong” to the other before calling him as well, figuring that would probably be the best way to reach him.

Donghyuck’s phone rang and rang before beeping off to his voicemail. His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion before he went back to his messages and clicked on the last text he had that was from an unknown number

Unknown

Hey Renjun rght? Have you seen Donghyuck is he over ther

Unknown

If you see him pleas call me bc he wont pick up and neither will Jeno or Jaemin sorry to use your phone

Renjun furrowed his brow in thought. Was this Mark’s number? Or maybe Jisung’s? Jisung probably would have contacted Mark though and not him, right?

Turning the options over in his head, he went back to his call list getting ready to dial Jaemin’s number. Before he could though, a loud rapid knock came from their front door. He immediately fluffed up at the startling noise before creeping his way down the hallway.

Before he could even get close to the door, more hurried knocks came from the other side along with a voice that he recognized.

“Renjun, I swear to god if you’re in there and you’re not sick and you’re just ignoring me, I’m going to kick your ass so hard you’ll be able to taste your own-“

He unlocked and pulled the door open before the other could finish his sentence. Donghyuck’s face was tinged pink and his bangs looked slightly sweaty, clinging to his forehead. Immediately enveloping Renjun in a hug, Donghyuck spun and shut the door quickly.

“Wha-“

“Are Jeno and Jaemin here?” The other hybrid rushed out. Renjun shook his head no before Donghyuck sighed shakily and nodded his head, swallowing. “Okay. Cool. Whatever, I guess it doesn’t matter either way.”

“Care to tell me what is going on, Hyuck?”

“Wait, are you still sick,” his friend inched forward, getting into his face to press his hand to the other’s forehead. Moving the other’s hand off of him, Renjun held his wrist and fixed him with a stern glare.

“Donghyuck, what’s going on.”

Nodding at nothing in particular, Donghyuck looked around the apartment and used Renjun’s grip on his wrist to pull him down the hallway into his room. He shut the door gently, before immediately falling butt first onto the carpet and then tipping himself over to lay splayed out, face smooshed.

“This is insane,” he wheezed out, looking up at Renjun who was still standing with a confused look on his face and his arms crossed.

“What’s insane?”

Donghyuck pushed himself back up in order to sit, facing the other. Situating himself on his bed, Renjun leaned back onto his arms to quirk an eyebrow waiting for the other to start talking.

“Well, did Jeno or Jaemin tell you about what happened at the gala?” He swallowed nervously.

“The part about you and Mark sucking face and then you getting your heat and leaving?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck wheezed out, looking pale. “Well, so, yeah. Earlier that night I had maybe had a few glasses of champagne and then confronted Mark by the catering table, so he pulled me into the bathroom to confront me because, I mean, I was being kind of a bitch,” he winced at his confession.

Renjun wanted to defend his friend against himself, but he could honestly see the other purposefully going out of his way to make Mark’s night miserable. But, he couldn’t blame him.

“So, did he help you through your heat then? If your heat just broke, why aren’t you resting?” Donghyuck buried his face into his hands, his ears turning backwards and going flat as he shook his head from side to side.

“He helped me, yeah,” the other spoke into his hands, not looking up. “And, Renjun?”

His closest friend looked up then, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Renjun immediately left his bed and went over to sit next to him, curling himself around him in a hug and rubbing softly at his back. The pain across his friend’s face sent worry thrumming through his body.

“Are you okay, Hyuck? Should I be worried?” Donghyuck simply shook his head before sniffling.

“No, it’s just,” he turned his head to face the other, eyes wide and glistening, “it was so wonderful, Renjun. It was like it never was before,” his voice came out in a soft whisper and full of wonder.

“Then what’s wrong, Hyuckie?” Renjun asked, matching the others soft tone.

“Well, this morning I woke up with Mark’s arms around me in his bed, right?” Renjun nodded encouraging the other to continue, “My brain was coming out of its foggy heat state, and when Mark turned to me to kiss me good morning-“ he cut himself off hesitating.

“What happened?” He could see the other swallow harshly.

“I-I,” he buried his face back into his hands, “I told him I loved him! He kissed me and said good morning, and I said ‘good morning, I love you’, like-“ Renjun blinked in surprised, continuing to rub the other’s back soothingly.

“Okay, and what did he say?” A deep exhale came from Donghyuck.

“He went, ‘huh?’ and looked at me with that stupid but adorable confused look,” he pried his face out from his hands again, sighing. “And when I tried to backtrack, he just kept saying it like ‘you _love_ me?’ like it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard! I’m pretty sure he even scoffed! I shouldn’t have ever said anything, why did my stupid mouth have to open. At the gala he had even said he was planning to ask that one girl to be official with him, but then…” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

Renjun sat back on his heels trying to process everything. So, Hyuck had said that he loved Mark, and not only did he not say it back, but he also acted like it was something dumb to say?

“Wait, so then why are you here now? Did you just, like, run away right then and there?”

“He just kept staring at me with this expression on his face that was so weird, and,” he groaned loudly, “then he just got up and was like ‘I gotta go take a shower’,” Donghyuck’s voice dropped lower in order to impersonate Mark.

Situating his head into the nook of Renjun’s neck and shoulder, he began to rub his watery eyes on his giant sweater.

“So while he was in the shower, I threw on clothes and ran here.” Renjun sputtered.

“You ran here? How far do you live from us?” Donghyuck shrugged.

“Like, thirty blocks?”

He just shook his head in awe of the other. Scooting himself across the floor while still trying to hold onto Donghyuck, Renjun grabbed his phone that he had discarded on his bed earlier. He pulled up his texts and tapped the top of the other’s head to get his attention.

“Is this Mark’s number?” He showed him the messages he had gotten from the unknown number.

“Ugh, yes. Why does he care where I am anyways,” Donghyuck grimaced, staring at the texts.

Suddenly his phone began to buzz in his hand, tinkling a soft melody. Jaemin’s name popped up across the screen, so Renjun clicked the accept option and pulled Donghyuck close by his shoulder.

“Hello?”

 _“_ Hey, Injunnie,” his voice sounded unsure, “Hyuck wouldn’t… I mean, Hyuckie wouldn’t happen to be over at our place, would he _?”_

Renjun shifted to look at the other who quickly shook his head, holding his arms up to create an ‘x’.

“Uhhhhhhhh, why?” Donghyuck smacked his forehead at Renjun’s response.

“Well, I’m not sure exactly. But apparently he left without telling Mark where he went? So, is he not there?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm, yes? I mean, no?” Renjun wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t exactly feel comfortable lying to Jaemin even if it was for Donghyuck. Plus, Jaemin would be home soon and see him here anyways.

 _“_ Injunnie? _”_ His voice held an air of soft warning and disbelief to it.

“Okay, yeah he’s here,” at his statement Donghyuck threw himself backwards onto the carpet dramatically, splayed out like a starfish. “But! Please don’t tell Mark? At least, not yet?” He shot his eyes to his friend who was staring at the ceiling.

“Why not?”

“Are you close to home?”

“Mhm, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay, how about we explain it to you when you get here?” A soft thoughtful hum came from the other side of the phone.

“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit, Injunnie. You too, Hyuckie!” Jaemin called the last part out slightly louder. Donghyuck’s ears twitched when he heard him, but other than that he didn’t acknowledge the comment.

Renjun hit the end button, and turned to face his friend whose face was wiped clean of emotion. He decided to go ahead and just snuggle up to the other’s side and draped his arm across his body, enveloping him in a hug and forcing himself to purr, trying to create a calming effect.

Donghyuck sighed and began to thread his fingers through Renjun’s hair, closing his eyes and breathing slowly.

“This sucks.”

Just a few moments later, Renjun heard the door open and the sound of bags rustling against one another. He stood up, and gently pried his friend off the ground, and pushed his butt slightly in order to get him to leave his room.

When they got to the door, Renjun quickly bent over and began to bring the bags into the kitchen and remove the items.

“Hey, Hyuckie,” Jaemin called over his shoulder, looking at the other hybrid whose tail flicked back and forth.

A soft grunt was all Donghyuck gave the other before he went and plopped down onto their couch, sulking. Jaemin chuckled under his breath, shaking his head before leaning closer to Renjun.

“Is it relationship troubles?” He whispered softly. Renjun responded quietly too, even though he was sure Donghyuck could still hear them.

“Yeah. I’ll let Hyuck explain it to you.”

Nodding Jaemin went back to pick up the few other groceries he had bought, and finished placing them where they belonged in the kitchen.

Renjun grabbed two banana milks, one for himself and one for Hyuck, before he followed Jaemin back into the living room to sit on the couch next to his friend. Handing the other hybrid the drink, he received a gentle thank you in return.

“So Hyuckie, what’s wrong?” Jaemin leaned back onto his hands on the carpet, looking on expectantly. Renjun brought his hand up once again to rub the other’s back encouragingly as Donghyuck sighed and started explaining once more.

“Wow. When Jeno and I were first getting together he was pretty clueless too, but Mark definitely takes the cake. How can he be surprised by that? And also not say it back? Anyone with eyes can see that he obviously feels the same way about you,” Jaemin ranted, rolling his eyes.

“But that’s the thing, Nana, he really looked so caught off guard. And, I don’t know, repulsed or something? I couldn’t tell, but he definitely did not look like he felt the same and was _definitely_ not going to say it back.”

“Well, you can stay here for awhile and figure out what you’re going to say when you see him again. But I’m not going to lie to Mark and tell him you’re not here, Hyuck.” Before Donghyuck could even so much as groan out a complaint, Jaemin raised a hand to cut him off. “Nuh uh, no way. He has no idea where you went, and he’s worried sick! I get that he handled it all completely wrong and is a dummy, but I won’t keep your location from him. If Renjun had run away and someone knew where he was but didn’t tell me and Jeno? I would be furious.”

Jaemin shot his eyes over to Renjun, who was looking on baffled. Of course he would hope they would worry for him, but he didn’t really think it was interchangeable for Hyuck and Mark’s situation.

They were obviously in some kind of discombobulated relationship, and Renjun was just… Well, what was he to them exactly? Wouldn’t a better example be if Jeno had run off instead?

“Okay, fine, but please… please can you tell him that I want to be alone for a bit? Is it okay if I spend the night?” Jaemin’s eyes smiled sadly.

“’Course, Hyuckie. Anything for my second favorite cat hybrid.” Donghyuck scowled, some of his normal mirth returning to his face.

“Second?!”

“Of course, Injunnie overtook your place a long time ago.”

They all began to laugh lightly, the situation was still messy, but the soft joke helped to break the tension. At least a little bit.

Jaemin called Mark not too long after and explained that Donghyuck was safe with them and to not worry, and that he would be spending the night. They could hear Mark’s weak protests from the other side of the phone, worry clear in his voice, but Donghyuck refused to look away from where he was staring at the TV pretending that he didn’t care.

Renjun and Donghyuck cuddled up on the upstairs couch together, trading off and on with who gave who ear pets. After the phone call, Jaemin came back upstairs and took the scene in.

“Hey, Injunnie? How are you feeling today, by the way?”

“Oh! Yeah I’m feeling much better, thank you. I had some more of your soup for breakfast earlier too,” he smiled softly, receiving Jaemin’s blinding one in return.

“That’s great, I’m so glad! Do you mind if I still take your temperature just to be sure?”

Renjun didn’t mind so the other quickly got the thermometer. When his temperature came back saying that his fever was finally gone, Jaemin informed the two that he would be making lunch and that he would call them when it was ready.

He and Donghyuck spent time watching trashy TV, trying to distract his friend from his situation. Anytime there was a love scene between the two main characters, even if it was written horribly, he still caught the way Donghyuck’s ears would droop infinitesimally.

Jaemin’s cooking was as wonderful as ever, and that, coupled with the lighthearted banter over lunch, began to cheer Donghyuck up.

Grabbing the fluffiest blankets in the apartment, Renjun led his friend to the top balcony and stared out at the hammock.

“Wanna nap in the sun outside? I know it’s still a bit cold, but,” Renjun sighed out shakily. This was fine, he had spent lots of time out on the balcony downstairs, so why would this one be any different?

“Sure, if you want?” The other spoke softly, an encouraging look on his face.

Renjun gave him a curt nod and opened the sliding door in order to inch outside with Donghyuck behind him. Since this balcony was much smaller only able to hold the hammock and an array of plants, it ended up feeling slightly more secure than the one downstairs.

When he laid back into Donghyuck’s arms as they wrapped themselves into a cat hybrid burrito, Renjun felt them purr in tandem and he relaxed completely. This was fine, he was fine.

Actually it was more than fine.

Renjun was really happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious to see what you guys think will happen between Markhyuck, if you have any guesses please tell me lol ^^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so short that I felt bad even pretending to make you guys wait at all lol

After their cat nap, the two spent the rest of the day messing around with Jeno and Jaemin’s video games, finding new ones that both of them were horrible at. That was, until Jaemin came upstairs and showed them what to do which then caused many different fights between the two friends. Jaemin simply watched from the couch laughing at the chaos he had created.

Jeno showed up a bit later after they had already finished dinner, and didn’t seem surprised at all to see Donghyuck sprawled across Renjun on their couch. Jaemin explained that he had already called and told Jeno about the situation to which Jeno shot Donghyuck a sympathetic but warm look.

Needless to say, Donghyuck got triple the amount of ear pets he normally would in a day, and when he wrapped around Renjun’s torso in his bed that night, they both slept wonderfully.

When Mark showed up at the door the next morning right before lunch, he was holding a bag of something that smelt an awful lot like maeuntang, a.k.a. Hyuck’s favorite food. Renjun couldn’t stop his mouth from watering as Donghyuck approached the other awkwardly.

Mark had a look of absolute regret on his face as he reached out to pull Donghyuck in for a hug that he quietly dodged. A look of sadness crossed Mark’s face before he sighed and faced everyone else.

“Thank you guys for taking care of him. Uh, yeah. See you guys later, then.” They all nodded, Jaemin sending him a small wave.

“Bye Injunnie, Nana, Nono,” Donghyuck shifted his weight foot to foot and waved lightly at them all in turn.

You could cut the tension rolling off the other two with a knife as the door shut behind them. Jeno sighed out, running his hands through his hair and adjusting his work glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“God, you’d think they would have worked all their feelings out by now.”

“Right?” Jaemin whined out, coming to grab Renjun from behind hugging him and pulling the hybrid close. “We’re lucky Renjun’s a pretty open book.” He grimaced at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that you usually wear your emotions on your sleeve. We might not always understand why you’re feeling the way you are, but it usually isn’t too hard to decipher.”

Jeno nodded in agreement. Renjun grumbled a pout on his lips while he tried to wiggle away from Jaemin’s embrace.

“Jaemin told me you and Hyuck slept in the hammock outside yesterday, right?” Jeno inquired softly.

“Ah, yeah. It always looked really comfy so I figured I might give it a try,” Renjun’s cheeks heated up as he scratched the back of his neck after Jaemin had finally dethatched himself and moved over to his partner to cling to now.

“That’s so great!” Jeno smiled, turning his cheek slightly so that Jaemin could press a loud kiss to it. Renjun cleared his throat before nodding and looking away.

“Uh yeah, it was cool. I’m going to paint today if that’s okay?”

Both boys nodded and asked if he needed any help getting his materials out from the supply closet. Renjun reassured him that he was fine and began to set up his easel outside. They had made sure he bundled up since he would be outside for a long time, and Renjun let them fuss over him a bit, not wanting to risk becoming sick again.

When he sat down to paint his next picture, he pulled his phone from his pocket to pull up the picture he had captured of Jeno and Jaemin not too long ago. He grabbed his pencil and began his rough sketch of the two, excited at the prospect of surprising them.

His mind flashed back to Jaemin teasing Renjun to paint a portrait of him. Hopefully this would do.

Renjun would wait until both Jeno and Jaemin were out for work or holed up in their office to bring his canvas out to paint his picture. He wanted them to be absolutely surprised, and he knew neither of them messed with his materials unless he had asked them to.

He was painting a very straight line when the phone in his pocket began to buzz, startling him. He was lucky that his brush flew backwards and only hit him in the middle of his forehead instead of forwards onto the painting.

It was Hyuck.

Immediately picking it up, Renjun wasn’t even given the chance to say hello to his friend before the other started talking a mile a minute. Words flew through the phone like apology and makeup sex, but what stuck out the most was the word boyfriend.

“Wait, back up. Hyuck, okay so what is going on?”

“I told you! The past, like, day and a half Mark and I talked about stuff. It was really awkward at first, but I feel bad for assuming the worst from him. I hadn’t really ever thought about what the public might think if he started dating a guy, and a hybrid at that.”

Renjun remembered Jeno mentioning that his relationship and sexuality were the reasons why he was mostly estranged from his family. Apparently that was a more common opinion than he had originally thought. Why people would feel that way, he still wasn’t sure.

With all those eyes on Mark, it must have been even harder for him to make a move towards something more akin to a relationship.

“So, are you two together now?” A bright hum and a happy sigh came from Donghyuck.

“Yeah. It was honestly really sweet when it came down to it. We should have probably had just talked things out first,” the other hybrid trailed off.

“You know I told you to do that.”

“I know, _I know_. You’re right, I’m wrong.” Renjun smiled at the fake exasperation in his friend’s voice.

“I’m really happy for you, Hyuck.”

“Thanks, Injunnie,” he could hear the smile in Donghyuck’s voice.

“But if he makes you that upset again, tell him I will kick his ass. Or at least sic Jeno and Jaemin on him.”

Both hybrids melted into an array of laughter and debate, trying to decide if it came down to it which of the three humans would actually win in a fight. When Renjun was refuting Donghyuck’s argument for the third time, insisting that Jeno would so be able to tackle Mark, the front door opened as Jaemin entered.

“Hey, Hyuck. I gotta go now.”

“Hm, okay bye bye!”

“Bye.”

He hung up quickly, and moved fast in order to hide the canvas from Jaemin, worried to spoil the surprise. Shuffling around, Renjun called out a hello to the other from inside the balcony’s storage closet.

“Hi, Injunnie! I got those campaign shots back from the cologne brand. They showed me which one they’re using for the billboard downtown. Wanna see?”

“Sure, one second.” The other made a noise of confirmation as he ascended the stairs, eyes focused on his phone.

When Renjun had made sure all his supplies were put away, he came back inside and shut the sliding door right as the door to Jeno’s office opened. Jeno rounded the corner and smiled at Renjun who sent him a wave in response.

“Jaemin is home.”

“Yeah, I thought I had heard him, that’s why I-“Jeno trailed off, as he got closer to the hybrid, his face confused.

“What are-?” Renjun asked Jeno, before he grasped the side of his face.

Jeno licked his thumb before bringing it up to Renjun’s forehead and wiping gently. He was very close, and he could even see his own wide-eyed expression in the reflection of Jeno’s work glasses. When he had finished whatever he was doing, his eyes crinkled happily.

“You had paint on your forehead.”

“Ohhhh,” Renjun nodded before stumbling backwards lightly, having been thrown slightly off his balance by trying to lean away from the other’s closeness. Reaching out, Jeno grabbed a hold of Renjun’s arm to steady him.

“Careful,” Jeno spoke softly.

You could probably start a fire with the heat that was radiating off of Renjun’s flushed cheeks and neck. Why did it seem like Jeno and Jaemin were getting into his personal space more and more often? Was it cause of all the cuddles?

“Nono, Injunnie? Come see,” Jaemin called out from upstairs, his voice lilting melodically.

The both of them climbed the stairs and spotted the pink-haired boy with a thin folder full of photographs. Jeno went over and sat down next to his partner with a bounce, immediately draping his arm across the other’s shoulders. Renjun sat himself down on the rug in front of the couch.

“So, this one I really liked because it’s neutral enough that I think it will fit nicely into my portfolio,” he handed it to Jeno before he continued flipping through the other photos.

“Oh wow, who was the photographer?”

“Uh, his name was Xiao Dejun, he’s an up and coming photographer, but he was really great. I asked Taeyong to get his information for future reference.” Jeno hummed before handing the photo over to Renjun.

In the photo, Jaemin was standing next to what looked to be a silver column with a completely black background. He was leaning his back against it, his profile being showcased. The sharp cut of his jaw line and the swell of his Adam’s apple were extremely alluring. Renjun understood why Jaemin liked this one. It was simple but striking and expensive looking.

He handed the photo back to Jaemin who traded him for another photo.

“Now that one is the one they’re using for the billboard,” he smirked.

Renjun hadn’t been ready.

Sure, he remembered the way Jaemin had mentioned the photo shoots, but actually seeing it?

His throat went dry at the shirtless photo of Jaemin; his body was muscular and toned. Abs prevalent on his abdomen, he also saw that the other’s muscles cut into a ‘v’ that dipped below his pants waistline.

Tight briefs poked out of his casual pair of blue jeans that were being pulled down even more by the fact that Jaemin had his hands in the pockets, pushing down.

Trying to swallow, Renjun could hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears as he tried to pry his eyes from the picture. All he could do was stare at the photo and nod silently as if that would excuse him from making any comments and made him look any less embarrassing.

He should most definitely not be ogling Jeno’s partner right in front of Jeno. It was absolutely rude, but when Jaemin asked Renjun what he thought of it for a second time, all he do was let out a choked wheeze when he tried to open his mouth.

“I mean, it’s, you’re, and this is great. I get why the people picked it. You look great. Here in this photo, I mean. But, not that you don’t look great in person, I mean because you do. You both do, obviously. But not in a weird way. I just mean, like, I get why you’re a model.” Renjun ranted, finally looking up at the other two nodding. “Looks good.”

He forcefully extended his arm towards Jeno who was looking at him with a slightly bemused expression, before he took the photo and examined it himself.

“Thanks, Injunnie. I personally think that everyone in this home could be a model,” Jaemin complimented, reaching down to brush his hand through Renjun’s hair.

When he touched the hybrid’s head, he jumped slightly not having seen the other move to pet his hair. Jaemin chuckled good naturedly at his response, before ruffling his hair. Renjun reached both hands up to smooth down what the other had fluffed up.

“Wow, Jaem. You look fantastic. But are you sure they want this one to put on the billboard?” Jaemin pouted at his partner.

“What? Why? Is it not good?”

“No, I just mean,” Jeno started, eyes full of mischief, “it’s probably going to cause a lot of car accidents with people not being able to take their eyes off of you.”

There was a beat of silence before Jaemin hit Jeno lightly on the shoulder while he laughed at his own joke. He took the photo back and placed it into the folder before handing the rest over to his partner and asking him to see what he thought he should add to the website. They shared a soft kiss before Jeno stood up and sent Renjun a smile before going down the stairs.

“Wanna watch Netflix, Junnie?”

“Uh, actually, I haven’t taken a nap yet today and I was getting kind of tired,” he answered, still refusing to look the other in the eyes. It was like every time he blinked all he could see was Jaemin’s body, and that was going to be a problem.

“Hm, okay! Wanna nap with me in the hammock?”

“Wait, with you?” Jaemin scrunched up his lips and eyebrows.

“What? Am I that bad of a cuddler?”

“Huh? No! I just mean,” Renjun sighed and looked up to Jaemin who had a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Can you grab the big blanket from the downstairs couch? I’ll take this one,” he spoke softly, standing and moving to pick up the quilt from the couch.

“Sure!”

Renjun opened the door and went outside to settle into the hammock, happy that the sun was still bright. Jaemin joined him shortly after and made them sway side to side while he tried to get settled.

Having already snuggled himself up under the thick quilt, Renjun was surprised when he felt Jaemin’s arm drape across his middle and snuggle him into his own chest.

He tried.

Renjun really tried.

But being pressed this closely into Jaemin’s body after seeing those pictures? He couldn’t help but to be extra sensitive to his body pressing into him. When he turned slightly to face the other and brought his hand up as well, he ended up bearing down slightly on the toned stomach of the other.

It was absolutely an accident. Renjun did _not_ mean to do that.

And he kept repeating just as much over and over in his mind while Jaemin’s breaths had already begun to even out. Maybe this had been a bad idea because there was no way Renjun was going to be able to nap now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I cannot stop updating lol
> 
> I just want to say a thank you to everyone who has been reading and the sweet and interesting comments you all have been leaving me. I've never written something like this before, but everyone's encouragement is heartwarming and really leaving me a bit speechless. I wish I could explain how happy it makes me to know that other's are enjoying going on this journey with me.
> 
> This is the longest story I have ever written in my life. With this chapter update, I pass my previously longest story. I'm not even sure if the end is in sight for this story yet... hopefully you'll all be there with me to witness it when it comes along!
> 
> It is with a full and happy heart that I thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// panic attack

“You can do it.”

“No, I don’t think I can.”

“Shut up, you _can_! I don’t want to push you, but I will if it comes down to it.”

Renjun was standing at the door to the hallway of their apartment complex. Donghyuck had come over after he may have let it slip that he had been thinking about how fun it would be to surprise Jeno or Jaemin and meet them on the first floor to help carry the groceries up sometime. Raving about the fun surprised faces they would possibly make, his friend had sprouted an idea.

So now they were here, and Hyuck wouldn’t stop until he had at least stepped across the threshold.

“At the very least, just take one step forwards and then you can jump right back in, right? I mean, it’s still inside the building.” His friend’s voice had turned softer, and Renjun knew he was right.

This should be the easy part. Nodding before releasing a deep breath, Renjun bounced from foot to foot slightly shaking his hands in order to hype himself up.

“Hold my hand.”

“Done.”

The tight grasp of his friend grounding him, Renjun stepped one foot out into the hallway like someone checking to see if the bathwater was too hot. Pulling his foot back in he nodded. It was fine.

He took a couple steps past the doorway, positive that he was squeezing Donghyuck’s hand so hard that he had to have been in pain. But Renjun didn’t hear any complaints, so he kept holding onto his friend for dear life.

Looking down at the clean tile hallway made it easier for Renjun. He could just pretend that he was walking around in their kitchen and not outside of their home. Donghyuck pressed close to his arm for support as they continued to walk.

Renjun paced his breathing with his slow steps. He would breathe in for four steps and then breathe out for the other four; Donghyuck had suggested it since he had heard Mark would do something similar if he got nervous before a show. And honestly, it was working pretty well.

Having to focus on his counting, Renjun was able to distract himself from where he was and what was happening. All that mattered was counting the number of his steps and breathing. Of course that changed when Hyuck came around in front of him and stalled their movement.

“Okay, so, you’re doing great!” Renjun’s only reply was a shaky exhale and a hurried nod of his head. “This is the hard part.”

He couldn’t remember if he had ever even been inside an elevator before, so this would be fun (sarcasm noted). It looked like a silver metal box of death and when his breathing started to stutter and his neck and palms became sweaty, Donghyuck gathered to his side and hugged him softly purring.

Renjun let his head fall onto his friend’s shoulder as he closed his eyes and tried to get his breathing in check once more. After a few moments, he sent the other a curt nod and they walked forward towards a small panel with buttons on it.

Donghyuck pressed the bottom button and it immediately lit up a soft yellow. They stood there holding hands for a few seconds, the other humming softly, before a light ding resounded throughout the open space.

The silver door in front of them parted down the middle and led to a small room with the same tile as the hallways, lined with mirrors, and gold accents across the walls. It looked very fancy.

Stretching his free hand out, Donghyuck pressed his arm up against the door to hold the elevator open.

“Okay, so I’ll keep my arm here. Take however long you need. There’s a reason why this building has three more elevators.”

“’Kay.”

Once again he tried to battle his fear with logistics. Jeno and Jaemin must have taken these elevators a thousand times. In fact, Donghyuck had said he had just taken one an hour earlier to get to their place. And not only that, but he had taken an assortment of different ones constantly.

“Can you go first?” Renjun’s question came out small, as he sunk into himself.

“Yup!” His friend walked sideways into the elevator still holding his arm out across his body to stall the doors from closing. “See? It’s fine!” He smiled brightly and wiggled his eyebrows. Renjun even almost smiled.

Almost.

Nodding, he slid his foot across the ground, not lifting it up, in order to ease himself inside the small space. When he was finally next to Donghyuck inside, the sound of the doors closing came from behind him and made him jump out of his skin, even causing him to hiss.

“Just the doors closing,” his friend murmured, running his fingers through Renjun’s hair.

The other leaned over and pressed a button that had a one on it, and then the elevator shifted subtly and began its decent. It didn’t feel crazy fast like Renjun had thought. He was expecting it to just drop you and for you to go flying, so this was a nice surprise.

It didn’t take much more than a few seconds until they came to a stop, which caused Renjun to lose his balance a bit and have to lean onto Donghyuck who quickly grabbed him.

His knees were close to buckling, but he was able to inch his way out onto the first floor. It was a small area with the same kind of tile that had been everywhere else, a couple of benches and pretty ceiling lights and walls. The large doors in front of him were completely see-through just like their balconies.

He could see the occasional car pull up and circle around close to a man in a suit who stood at a podium with a few other people. Donghyuck ushered him over to the side when people started coming in.

Only a few people showed up, but when the doors parted and the cool wind rushed inside with the loud echoing sounds of what must have been the parking garage reached him, he couldn’t help but to flinch. Accidentally grabbing Hyuck’s arm very hard with his nails in the process.

“Ow,” Donghyuck seethed out between his teeth.

“Oh my God, Hyuck. I’m so sorry, are you oka-“

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. How are you? Want to stay here a bit longer or go back up.”

“I think I want to go back up,” he gulped deeply as another car began to approach the building.

Nodding, Donghyuck ushered him once more back into the elevator. He let Renjun hit the ‘8’ button, which apparently was the floor he, Jeno, and Jaemin lived on.

Which is probably something he should have already known.

When they got back upstairs and inside, Renjun sunk into their couch with wobbling legs and a dry throat. Also, he was pretty sure a headache was coming on.

Donghyuck cheered him on, and cuddled him tightly commending and complimenting his friend over and over again. Even though his heart was still pounding, Renjun smiled softly and leaned his head back to let out one loud laugh at the whole situation.

This was unbelievable, but he was so excited to surprised Jeno and Jaemin.

A few days later, after Renjun had video called Donghyuck and practiced leaving several more times, it was more than worth it to see an absolutely stunned Jeno, mouth agape staring from just outside the sliding doors at Renjun who had been sitting on the bench before he popped up and sent the other a small wave.

The doors kept opening and closing getting confused by Jeno just staying still right in front of the sensor, so Renjun had to call out to the other in order to break him from his stupor.

“Am I dreaming?”

Renjun laughed loudly at that, and grasped one of the big bags the other had been holding once he walked inside.

“Nope!” he answered, popping the ‘p’.

He was rewarded with the most radiant eye crinkling smile and about a million compliments. Some of which included how proud he was of Renjun for making such progress which never failed to fill his chest and heart with warmth.

When Jaemin came home not too long after and Jeno told him what had happened, he cried out exclaiming that it was unfair that he had missed it. Renjun blushed while telling the other that next time he brought back groceries he would meet him downstairs too.

Of course, that meant that Jaemin then rushed out of their apartment to go to the store right then.

Later that night, Renjun had his first nightmare in weeks. It was flashes of his old home, flashes of the shelter, and it ended with Jeno and Jaemin staring him dead in the eyes telling him how pathetic he was before leaving him out on the street.

He woke up gasping loudly and clutching his chest. Blinking rapidly, he quickly tried to take in his surroundings and reassure himself.

He was nowhere near his first home alone in that room.

He had left his shelter years ago.

He was here with Jeno and Jaemin.

They both cared for him. They wouldn’t leave him like that.

The smallest thread of doubt swirled in the back of his mind, flashing back to the disappointed looks on the two’s faces from his dream. They wouldn’t, would they?

Throwing his blankets off of himself, Renjun turned his room light on before grabbing his phone and padding down the hallway to the kitchen. It was just past midnight, but he was unsure if he would be able to fall back asleep for awhile.

Grabbing himself a glass of water, he walked over to the living room couch and gently sat down mulling things over.

Why would he have such a horrible nightmare? Sure, he had had them plenty when Mrs. Lee had first passed away, but not really since then. Maybe he had overdone it with going outside so often his body was begging him to slow down. Or was it because things were getting too good and his subconscious wanted to knock him down a peg? He scoffed at that.

It wouldn’t be a surprise to him if that were the case. The irony of finally becoming content and happy, venturing outside of his comfort zone for the first time in his life, only to be struck with a nightmare that basically made his biggest fears a reality, hurt more than he could admit.

Couldn’t he just enjoy himself? He resolved himself to not let the dream effect his relationship with the other two. If he was having doubts about their feelings, he could always just ask them point blank. Neither of them seemed to ever dodge a direct question which he was thankful of.

Unlocking his phone, Renjun typed out a text to Donghyuck asking him if he was up before going to his apps and pulling up this cute game the other had made him download.

Sipping on his glass of water, Renjun wrapped his tail around his legs, situating his chin on his knees. Usually Renjun would never be up this late, as he tended to fall asleep around ten or so every night. It was also still engrained into him to wake up early in the mornings, so when he heard the tell tale signs of Jeno and Jaemin still being awake upstairs he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Their soft banter and shuffling reached Renjun’s ears over the quiet stillness in the apartment. He couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying, but when he heard his name being spoken his ears perked up.

A few words here and there stuck out to Renjun.

First of all, his name.

And then something about leaving.

And then something about disowning.

And then something about a will.

And then suffocating silence.

Renjun’s heartbeat was so loud, he could swear it was echoing off of the wooden floors and it would only be a matter of seconds until Jeno or Jaemin came out and scolded him for eavesdropping.

He shouldn’t have listened to their conversation. That was their own private business; Renjun can’t expect them to tell him everything that they went through day in and day out.

Jeno and Jaemin were in a relationship that did not involve Renjun, and he needed to remember that. But the words he had overheard… they weren’t talking about him were they?

Yes, a will had been involved with Mrs. Lee and they had said his name, but he shouldn’t assume the worst. If only his mind hadn’t already been fogged by a nightmare that had implanted a small seed of doubt in his heart.

His breathing started to become shallow and stuttered as he tried to count to calm himself. He shouldn’t assume, why was he assuming, they cared for him, didn’t they?

Renjun closed his eyes and thought back to their smiles and affection and tried to will the irrational part of his brain to quiet down, but soon his breaths began to hiccup and stall. It was getting harder and harder to get oxygen which made him breathe even harder.

Standing up, Renjun felt slightly light headed and was off balance slightly. He leaned into the couch’s arm to steady himself, his other hand coming up to grab at his chest. It felt like he was looking through tunnel vision and as if his heart would beat so hard it would just suddenly stop. That this would be his last moments here.

Tears began to cloud his eyesight, as Renjun stumbled upstairs, leaning against the wall to try and maintain his balance. Even if they were planning on getting rid of him, Jeno was one of the few people who had ever been able to stop Renjun’s spiraling panicked moments.

Even if they were planning on giving him to a shelter, he knew Jeno was kind enough to at least help him calm down.

His hands were shaking as he finally reached their door, his chest rising and falling at an insane rate. A cold dampness ran down his back and his forehead while he tried to listen to the voices from the other side of the door.

Everything sounded as if he had cotton in his ears, so when he knocked on their door he wasn’t sure if it had been loud enough or if they were even in there at all. Was this whole thing still part of his nightmare? Would he wake up soon?

The door cracked, as a shirtless Jaemin smiled softly.

“Injunnie, what- Injunnie? Renjun?” His voice switched from playful and pleasant to extreme worry and fear.

Gulping his breaths down, Renjun tried to get out his words and explain what was happening, but he found himself unable to keep his breath in his lungs long enough to form words.

Their door opened fully before Jeno came up in loose sweats and an oversized shirt. Renjun could see his lips moving. He knew they were saying something, but his heartbeat was still so loud.

Couldn’t they hear it? Didn’t they know it was beating so hard that it was bound to burst?

Careful hands found Renjun’s arms as he was brought over to their bed. The feeling of someone else touching him helped to pull his focus slightly out of the whirlwind of panic he was currently experiencing.

Warm arms came from either side wrapping around his body, and he swears that someone was talking again. If he tried very hard, he could almost hear them over his harsh breathing and own heart.

“It’s okay. We’re here, Renjun. We’ll always be here.”

Renjun choked on a sob at that, burying his face into the shoulder nearest to him. A pattern of soft touches circled over his back as a gentle hand caressed his head.

The touch on his back was creating designs, and Renjun found it easiest to focus on what the other was drawing. His breathing slowly started to become longer intakes of shaky breaths and less of short and staccato ones.

When he was sure that whoever was touching him had just drawn a bunny, he realized his heart had quieted down to its normal thrum, beating in his chest.

“Renjun, you with us, baby?”

Baby.

The soft term of endearment came from behind him where Jaemin was sitting on his and Jeno’s bed, caressing his back in gentle motions. Jeno repositioned Renjun so that he would be forced to pull back and look him in the eyes.

Renjun took in the way his face still looked so soft and open even when his eyebrows were curled down in worry, his mouth pursed.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun breathed out, breath only slightly stuttering. He realized just how much trouble he had caused the other two with interrupting their conversation so late into the night.

“Do not apologize. I’m so glad you came to us. Anxiety isn’t something you can just willingly control. It’s a beast of its own,” Jeno whispered.

Anxiety? That word made a hell of a lot more sense than how he had previously been trying to describe it to himself. Sturdy arms wrapped around his chest from behind, pink hair coming into his peripheral.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin hummed out.

“I heard you both talking,” Renjun started, before having to swallow and breathe deeply. He saw the look Jeno shot Jaemin, worry crossing his face.

Had Renjun been right? Were they really going to get rid of him?

“What all did you hear?” Jeno asked carefully. His chest began to rise and fall again at an accelerated pace.

“A-are you guys leaving me? Will I be alone again?” Renjun’s voice was so soft it was barely even a whisp in the air.

“What?” Jaemin breathed out in confusion. “Leave you? Never. Absolutely never! We won’t let them get even close to you,” his voice rose in volume and passion as he continued, but Renjun was more confused than ever.

“Let who close to me?” Jeno and Jaemin exchanged another look then, much more guarded than earlier.

“Why don’t you tell us what you heard first, Jun?” Jeno prompted.

“I just heard a few words… My name, something about leaving or disowning? And then the will,” he swallowed deeply. “I was awake because I had just had a nightmare and it-“ his voice wavered, cutting off his train of thought.

“We have no intention of ever trying to leave you, let’s make that clear first and foremost,” Jaemin stated, detaching himself from Renjun’s back. “But, there were some things Jeno and I were discussing.”

“Well, I was going to wait until we had more information. But, Renjun, do you remember the two people who found you in Mrs. Lee’s house?” The hybrid nodded, remembering the extremely rude woman and her complacent husband. “They’re trying to do something called a will contest. Basically, it means they’re trying to invalidate Grandma’s will in order to get her properties for themselves, saying she was losing her mind in old age,” Jeno scoffed.

Renjun frowned trying to process that all. That seemed extremely unreasonable because Mrs. Lee was completely sound of mind. Jeno had also previously mentioned that she never even spoke to their other family. How could they argue that?

Wait, would this mean they couldn’t get the portrait he had done of her?

“How does this involve me?” Jeno turned his body on the bed to face the other before sighing.

“Do you remember how when we first met, I told you that Grandma had left basically everything to me? Well, you were included in that by proxy, so if they were to win the lawsuit, which they won’t, it would mean-“

“I would belong to them?” Renjun whispered, trying to process it all.

“Technically, yes. But you don’t have to worry because there’s no way in hell they will win,” Jaemin stated matter-of-factly.

Renjun wasn’t sure he could process that much information after the bout of panic he had just gone through. He understood what this meant and what was going on, but he just felt too exhausted to care in the moment.

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Renjun asked, his voice small and tired.

“Of course, we were about to go to sleep anyways,” smiling softly, Jeno inched the rest of the way up the bed to settle into the comforter.

Jaemin moved as well, Renjun joining right afterwards. He paused slightly, not sure where he should sleep, before Jaemin gently pulled him towards the center between the two of them. Their bed was almost twice the size of Renjun’s, so there was no worrying about being too squished or not having enough room.

In fact, he seemed to fit perfectly. All three of them did.

Jaemin and Jeno played rock, paper, scissors for who would have to get up and go turn the lights off. The stark contrast to the previously very serious vibe had Renjun giggling under his breath.

After Jeno lost, he grumbled and stood to go flick the light switch off. Renjun turned to Jaemin and put his arm across his bare chest, and wrapped his leg around him like a koala. Jeno joined them from behind, squeezing the both of them before settling back slightly and wrapping his arms around Renjun’s waist.

This time his heart beat loudly for a different reason, but it was only accompanied with contented thoughts and not of spiraling panic.

It didn’t get past Renjun that this was the first time they were really outright cuddling without another reason behind it, like napping or being sick.

The only thing he worried about as he drifted off to sleep was how he was going to get used to sleeping alone again after this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to leave a comment or give me a kudos if you’re enjoying!


	11. Chapter 11

Arms snaked under Renjun’s loose sleep shirt, securing themselves around his waist before pulling him closer. The tip of his nose bumped into something warm before he pulled his knees up and curled into himself. Purrs began to thrum through his body, and he nuzzled his way deeper into the sturdy body next to him.

Wait, a body?

Blinking his eyes open, Renjun noticed that the sun hadn’t completely risen yet and he was pressed up against Jeno’s half naked body.

Wait, half naked?

Trying not to recoil in surprised, he shifted backwards taking in the other’s state of undress. Slowly, the events of last night started to creep back into his conscience. His nightmare that led to the panic and then- oh.

Right, there were people trying to take Mrs. Lee’s property away from Jeno. He would worry about that when the time came because right now he was faced with a much more immediate and pressing problem.

Carefully prying himself from Jeno’s grasp, Renjun sat up and noticed Jaemin was splayed out next to him, face soft, but also… shirtless.

A normal person would probably jump at the chance to wake up in bed with two of the world’s most attractive men, but Renjun was still sorting things out. And it didn’t help that Jeno was even more ripped than Jaemin and he was having a bit of problem that came with waking up in the morning and being a male.

Blushing, he extracted himself carefully from their bed and tip-toed his way downstairs, speeding off to the bathroom.

After splashing his face incessantly with cold water and thinking about air pollution and taxes, he was able to calm his little problem down.

Well, not little, but- you get it.

He made his way back to the kitchen and decided to take it upon himself to make the other two breakfast. They had been there for him last night when he needed it most, and it was the absolute least he could do for them. He may not be as talented in the kitchen as Jaemin, but he knew enough to make something yummy.

With what they had in the fridge, Renjun was able to whip up a variety of side dishes and also a batch of spicy stewed fish (which he may or may not have had to make more of because he had been snacking on it while it cooked).

The sun rose through the balcony windows, lighting the apartment in a soft, warm yellow. Renjun noticed it was nearing towards 8am when the upstairs door finally opened. He wasn’t sure if either of them had work today, but he made sure they would be well fed just in case.

When Jeno came down the stairs a look of happy surprise crossed his face at the array of food before them. Usually, Jaemin would make them all a quick breakfast or they would heat up something they had already had from the fridge, so this was a treat they hadn’t often indulged in.

“Oh wow, Injun, did you make this?”

Renjun put his hands behind his back and nodded resolutely, rocking forwards and backwards on the balls of his feet a little bit.

“It’s a thank you for last night.”

Jeno shot the other a contemplative look, before crossing to him and cradling his head, his hands on either side of his cheeks. He looked into Renjun’s eyes before smiling and pulling him in for a hug.

“You don’t need to thank us for that. We’re both more than happy to help you through the rough moments. It makes the happy moments even sweeter.”

Pink crept across his cheekbones as he pulled back and nodded. They sat down and began to sort out plates, setting one for Jaemin as well who Jeno said would be down soon.

“What smells so good? Did you guys order something because I know if you cooked my kitchen is going to be burnt down,” Renjun snorted at the accusation causing him to choke lightly on the bite he had just taken.

“Your kitchen is fine, and Junnie made us breakfast!”

Jaemin came bouncing over to the table, settling down next to Renjun and grabbing the plate that was obviously for him.

“Thank you!” Jaemin leaned over and planted a wet kiss on Renjun’s puffed out cheek that was full of food.

It was the first time he hadn’t felt affected by the kiss due to its wetness and sound. This one was just gross, and he made sure to convey that with the disturbed face he made before wiping his cheek on his sleeve.

Jeno and Jaemin both chuckled good naturedly before joining Renjun in digging in.

It turns out Jaemin had an array of go-sees that started before lunch, but Jeno was still waiting to hear back from his possible next client, so he wouldn’t be completely alone today. Renjun was starting to notice that when he was with just one of the two, he subconsciously sought out the other to shoot looks to or to joke with at the other’s expense. It was a subtle change that he hadn’t truly taken note of until he had alone time with them individually.

While he and Jeno were settled on the couch a couple hours later, Renjun figured he might as well become informed.

“So, about this whole lawsuit thing,” Jeno turned to focus on him, eyes serious.

“Yeah?”

“Is there anything specific I should be looking out for? Or worried about?” He chewed on the inside of his cheek nervously.

“No, not yet at least. They’re still far away from being able to make a case. I only know all of this because my one nice cousin emailed me a couple days back.” Renjun opened his mouth in an ‘o’ shape, and nodded his head looking back towards his phone. “It’s possible that in the future you might have to talk to whatever lawyer we end up getting, but for now there’s nothing to fret about.”

“Ah, okay,” Renjun answered apprehensively, receiving an understanding half smile from the other.

“Yeah, that’s why we were holding off on telling you because we didn’t want to add any extra troubles or worries to everything else you’re going through. I hope you’re not too upset with us keeping it from you. We really were going to tell you as soon as things were more solid. There’s still a chance that they may not even file it and it will all blow over.”

Renjun tried to smile, but it came out as more of grimace as he nodded in acknowledgement. If he knew anything, it was that he was never presented with things that went smoothly. Sure, he would have periods of time where things were quiet, but as soon as the smallest thing shifted it all went to shit.

So, he wasn’t too hopeful.

And yes, he may be slightly pessimistic.

He asked for some alone time to paint, and Jeno happily obliged going into his office to do something on his computer. Renjun was close to being done with his painting, and now his mind was trying to figure out when an opportune time to give it to them would be.

When he had finished with working on it for the day, he scurried off to his room to call Donghyuck and see if he had any ideas.

“Hyuckie.”

“Hiiiiiiiii, what’s up?”

“So, you know how I mentioned that I’m painting a portrait of Jeno and Jaemin?” A slow drawn out ‘mhm’ echoed from the phone.

“Yeah, for your _friends_ Jeno and Jaemin,” Donghyuck said, a weird emphasis on the word friends.

“What’s with the weirdness?”

“Oh, nothing,” he sighed out. Renjun could almost hear the other batting his eyelashes dramatically. Deciding to ignore his friend, he continued on.

“I’m just not sure when a good time to give it to them would be? Neither of their birthdays are close at all, and Christmas was last month.”

“Honestly Injunnie? Just give it to them whenever you’re done. You don’t need some special occasion. I promise they’re going to love it no matter how or when they get it.” Renjun whined at that.

“No, you don’t get it! I want it to be special,” he huffed out.

“Why do you want it to be so special, hm?” Donghyuck’s tone came out accusatory causing Renjun to arch an eyebrow.

“Why wouldn’t I want it to be? They have been wonderful this past month, and have helped me a lot.”

“I’ve helped you a lot, too! Where’s my painting?” Renjun rolled his eyes at that laughing lightly.

“If you really want, just commission me and I’ll paint a picture of you and Mark or something.”

“Wait, oh my god, wait. That would actually be perfect! Can you do one where we’re making out?” Renjun emphasized fake gagging noises into the phone over Donghyuck’s laughter.

He caught Renjun up on the latest development between him and Mark and the recent dates he was taking him on. How Mark had outright called them dates even with a blushing face. Renjun suggested inviting Mark and Jisung over for dinner sometime, since he still hadn’t even technically met them.

What kind of best friend didn’t know his bff’s boyfriend? Which is exactly what he told Hyuck, and he was answered with a resounding squeal.

“Really? You mean it? Even Jisungie?” Renjun shrugged.

“I trust you, and you’ve talked about him enough that I’m pretty sure it’d be fine. I can ask Jeno and Jaemin about it and see if a specific time would work best. Does Mark have anything big coming up?”

“Nope, but he’s always running around. I’ll get his schedule and send it to Jaemin so we can plan something out. Ah! I’m so, so excited Renjun. You have no idea.” Smiling softly Renjun had to agree.

“It’ll be nice to talk to someone else for a change,” he sighed dramatically immediately earning a scoff from Donghyuck.

“Excuse me? How many times have I helped your ass out, and this is how you treat me?” Renjun laughed loudly. “Also if Mark and I do come over, it could be like a double date! Of course the baby would still be there, but it could be so cuuute,” he sing-songed.

“Yeah, can’t wait for Jisung and me to be the third and fourth wheels. Sounds lovely,” Renjun frowned, his forehead creasing at the idea of seeing not only Jeno and Jaemin’s happy relationship, but now Donghyuck and Mark’s. And from what he’s heard, they seem to be very fond of physical affection.

Or, at least Donghyuck is.

“Right,” Donghyuck scoffed from the other side. When Renjun tried to pry into why he had reacted that way, he changed the subject. “So, you said you’ve been with Jeno and Jaemin for a month now?”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s been a little over a month,” he shook his head in disbelief while picking at a loose string in his comforter. “It simultaneously feels like I just got here yesterday but also like I’ve been living with them for years now.” Donghyuck hummed thoughtfully.

“So, if it’s been a little over a month, are you prepared for,” he stalled for a beat,” Y’know, your next heat?”

Renjun blinked, his mind starting slow. How on Earth he could have completely forgotten about it, he had no idea. The whole fiasco with Donghyuck’s heat had happened not too long ago, and yet the thought about this own hadn’t even entered his mind in the process.

Noting how the line had gone silent, Donghyuck spoke up after a bit.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Renjun sighed shakily bringing a hand up to rub across his forehead in frustration.

“Yeah, no. I completely forgot. Fuck.”

“It’s okay! You’re close with Jeno and Jaemin now, right? Just ask them to help you!”

Renjun threw his phone. He literally was so shocked that he jumped and his arm swung, grip loose, as his phone flung from his hand across the room banging into the wall.

Scrambling from his bed, Renjun stumbled a bit as his legs got caught in the blankets, tripping slightly. He hurried over to the phone inspected what damage had been done. Groaning at the small crack that was now in the top corner of his phone screen, Renjun shrunk to the ground bringing his phone back up to his ear.

“-llo? Renjun?”

“Thanks to you my phone is now cracked,” Renjun sat, glaring a hole through the wall.

“What the hell happened?”

“You suggested the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard that makes the least amount of sense in the world, and it shocked my poor heart _so much_ that my phone went flying across the room.”

“So you threw your phone at the idea of sleeping with Jeno and Jaemin?” Renjun wanted to scream. How could his friend even suggest something like that? Did he not respect them at all?

“Donghyuck, in case you’ve forgotten, Jeno and Jaemin are in a committed relationship. They are in love and dating one another. What part of that don’t you get?”

“Mark would help me through my heats before we were together. It doesn’t have to be like that. They should just think of it as helping you out. You don’t deserve to suffer alone.” Snorting, Renjun crossed his arms uncomfortably.

“Okay, say that for some reason they agreed, what about me? I’ve never slept with anyone,” he continued, his voice growing small. “I’ve never even kissed someone, Hyuck… I’d want my firsts to be with someone who actually liked me, not just because my biology.”

His voice was small and vulnerable as he heard Donghyuck breathe, seemingly thinking over what to say next. Renjun began to use his pointer finger to draw small shapes in the carpet mulling over what his friend had suggested. It brought him back to last night.

He wanted love, most people did, but being around Jeno and Jaemin every day was starting to wear on him a tiny bit. He was forever grateful for them and wouldn’t change a thing, so it’s not like he was upset about them being in love and not afraid to show it.

But, Renjun wanted that too. However, he first had to conquer his fear so that he could actually have the chance to meet someone.

“Hey, Injunnie?”

“Yeah?” He could hear Donghyuck clearing his throat from the other side of the phone.

“Do you still get that heart-racing feeling when you hug Jeno and Jaemin or if you’re near them?”

Renjun thought about it. Just hugs? Not really anymore, but he would be lying if he said that there weren’t at least a couple of moments every day that caused his heart rate to increase when it came to the two. It mostly came from the words they would say or the small touches between them that sometimes happened.

“Sometimes? Not really hugs, but yeah it still happens, why?”

“You wouldn’t happen to,” he coughed and cleared his throat once more. It was one of the only times he had ever heard Hyuck sound awkward like this.

“What is it, Hyuck?”

“Do you like them?” Renjun paused before laughing lightly and responding, voice thick with sarcasm.

“No, I hate the two wonderful people who took me in and care for me daily. What kind of question is that?”

“Ugh, not like that. Do you _like_ them? Do you have a crush on Jaemin or Jeno? Or both?”

It felt like Renjun had swallowed a whole bottle of ground cinnamon and chased it down with some sandpaper shavings, that’s how dry his mouth and throat got. He opened and closed his mouth at least ten times before he could even utter a single word.

“Of course not!” His voice came out high pitched and even sounded like a lie to himself.

Well, was it a lie?

“You sure?”

“They’re together, Hyuck! It doesn’t matter what I feel either way. I would never dare to step between them that way. I’m more jealous of their relationship if anything. Would I like to be with someone like how Jeno and Jaemin are? Absolutely! But, that doesn’t mean I like them.”

“Maybe you should talk to them?” His friend nonchalantly suggested, and Renjun couldn’t hold back an incredulous scoff.

“Hyuck, this isn’t like you and Mark. You and Mark had been dancing around one another for years. I’ve known Jeno and Jaemin for barely over a month and they’ve been dating for years. It isn’t the same, so don’t try and make me confess to feelings that I’m not even sure I have. Okay?”

He knew his voice was coming out harsh and snappy, but he couldn’t hold it back. His feelings were swirling into a toxic mix of jealousy, sadness, and confusion which just resulted in peak frustration.

Was it possible he was being blind to his own feelings? Absolutely.

He barely got out, so God knows there’s still plenty he has to learn, especially about himself. But it was wrong for Donghyuck to try and encourage Renjun to stick himself into someone else’s relationship.

That is just not how things work.

“Listen, I’m not saying you have to confess anything! Just maybe… bringing up relationships or your heat in a casual way could-“

“No.”

“Renjun, you didn’t even let me finish.”

“I don’t need to. I said no.”

“Fine.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched between the two as neither one spoke, waiting on the other to make the first move. Renjun had always had a stubborn air about him and so did Donghyuck, so it was no surprise that they sat there for awhile both waiting for an apology that might never come.

Renjun probably should have let his friend finish what he was saying. If he was to start his heat soon, he needed all the moral support he could get. Especially from Hyuck.

Just as he opened his mouth to form some kind of semblance of an apology, Donghyuck spoke.

“If you need any more tips about your heat, text me,” his voice came out flat.

“Uh, okay.”

“Okay.”

A slow stretch of quiet thrummed between them before Donghyuck uttered out a mumbled goodbye and hung up. Renjun was left with a bad taste in his mouth and more emotions than he knew what to do with.

Here he had always preached to Donghyuck about how important communication was, and yet he had completely cut him off and didn’t allow him to speak. It wasn’t fair of him. Rolling onto his side on the ground, Renjun pulled Hyuck’s name back up debating whether it would be a good idea to call him back and just apologize. Or if maybe he should let the tension cool down a bit first.

God.

Donghyuck speaking it out loud made it much too real.

He really did like Jeno and Jaemin didn’t he?

He liked them.

Not just one, but both of them.

He couldn’t decide if that made things worse or better.

When he allowed the revelation to set in, it didn’t take long for him to realize the feelings he had been feeling lately when he saw them together were longing and jealousy. Not jealousy of one or the other, but at the fact that they had each other. They could kiss each other and love each other.

They always had someone there for them. What did the dramas always say when people got married?

Right.

In sickness and in health.

He knew that they would be by one another’s side supporting and loving until they took their last breath.

Renjun felt appreciated due to the gestures that both of them would often make towards him, but it was different. He should have known better than to allow himself to get to this point.

Did he think that Jaemin’s cuddles and affection was something only he got? Of course not. Jaemin was wildly affectionate, and Jeno’s soft and caring smiles? Those sparkling, crinkled eyes were shown to everyone. Jeno had a kind heart; it wasn’t his fault that Renjun had taken his kindness and gotten attached.

Far too attached.

Thinking back, he couldn’t remember either of them actually going out together. For a date or to be with their friends or anything. Besides Mark’s gala, they hadn’t seemed to have left their apartment unless it was for work.

Was that because of him too?

So, not only was he developing feelings for two people in a relationship with one another, but he was preventing them from being able to spend precious time together. Renjun would even interrupt their dinner time, their playful gaming time, he had slept in their bed with them last night for fucks sake!

Shaking his head, he hadn’t realized just how deep he had gotten involved.

Renjun really needed to get this fear of the outside sorted, and soon. Whenever he could show them that he was more dependent and that they didn’t have to worry about him, hopefully they could go back to their old life before Renjun had intruded.

Because above all, Renjun just truly wanted them to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor injunnie ;;
> 
> feel free to yell at me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)


	12. Chapter 12

The next day Renjun spent all morning in bed, not even coming out to get breakfast. He was at war with himself inside of his own thoughts.

How should he go forward with this? Should he even give them the painting he had done of them? Now that he thought of it, it really was a painting from his heart. It was how he saw the two from his own eyes. Their wide smiles shining light into his own life.

He didn’t want it to be misinterpreted as something else. He wouldn’t interfere. He _couldn’t_ interfere.

Finally making his way to the living area, Renjun didn’t spot either of them, so he jogged his way to the balcony. Retrieving his portrait from the closet, he sat it on a nearby chair, staring. Quickly picking up the gloss top coat he had, he sealed the painting, preventing the colors from fading and dust from disturbing the way it looked.

Even if he wouldn’t give it to them, he couldn’t bear to let it sit and ruin.

He brought the paining into his room and opened his closet to find a safe place for it to sit up and dry. Neither Jeno nor Jaemin ever came into this closet. In fact, they barely came into his room at all. They respected his privacy, so he should do the same.

And stay the hell out of their relationship.

The thought of painting more today was as appealing to him as squirting lemon juice into his eyes. And trekking upstairs to play a game or to watch Netflix? Just as taxing.

Even just moving itself, sounded horrible.

Realistically Renjun knew that the stairs were not very tall and quite easy to climb, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave his room.

He had to figure this all out. And soon.

Jeno and Jaemin would be able to tell if he was avoiding them, and then they would pry and ask questions. And he knew that if they asked him point blank he probably wouldn’t be able to lie himself out of it.

So, he’d take today to process his feelings, transport them into a small steel box, and then lock the key and bury it in the very back of his subconscious never to be seen again.

When Jeno came home before lunch, Renjun had claimed that he had a very bad headache and felt ill, so he would be trying to sleep it off. Jeno tried to dote on him and come into his room, even offering ear pets and cuddles to cheer him up. Renjun had to physically hold himself back from bursting into tears at the sweet offer.

Maybe in the future he could be close to them again like that, but knowing where his feelings lied he knew it would just hurt his heart more to accept their affections.

Jeno didn’t let him hurry back off to his room until he had eaten lunch and taken two pain pills to help lessen his ‘headache’.

By the time he had gotten back into his room though, Renjun actually did feel a headache coming on from this whole mess.

 _Get it together, Renjun. Take today to wallow in self pity if you need to, but they deserve the love they have found and you will not ruin it for them._ He thought to himself as he stared up at the ceiling from his bed.

Tears began to fill his eyes, teetering on overflowing down his cheeks but never getting quite there. His hands were placed on top of one another as he lay still in silence.

He faded in and out of sleep. Every time he woke he would try to process his feelings and stuff them down, but it was easier said than done. If he had gotten over his damn fear, he would have been able to go over to Donghyuck’s house and just waited it out until-

Oh wait, Donghyuck. He still needed to apologize.

Picking his phone up, Renjun clicked his best friend’s name and the phone began to ring. He could hear the shrill sound repeating over and over until it beeped over to his voicemail. After leaving a short message about how he needed to talk to the other, he clicked out and went to his texts.

Me

Hey Hyuckie. I need to apologize please call me whenever you’re free <3

If his friend was still upset about yesterday, he hoped that his text explaining that he intended to say he was sorry would make him want to call back.

Placing his phone on his chest, Renjun continued to stare at the ceiling, waiting. How did someone get over a crush? On the bright side at least it was just a crush; those were supposed to be easier to get over. Or, at least that’s what the magazine article he had found on Naver had told him last night.

Soon enough, he could hear Jaemin arriving back home. Renjun clicked on his phone to see what time it was. Still a couple hours before dinner; he should be safe hiding in here for awhile longer.

The tone of their soft voices drifted towards him. Muted words about their days that they shared with one another drifted lightly to Renjun. He really couldn’t make out much, but the tone in which they talked to each other was full of love.

It became too much when Renjun heard the soft sounds of kissing. It didn’t seem like anything overly sexual. Maybe just a few pecks, he wasn’t exactly sure, but either way it was horrible.

Flipping himself over, Renjun picked up one of his pillows and brought it down over his head to cover his ears trying to stifle the noises from reaching him.

Why did he have such good hearing? He didn’t need such good hearing. He didn’t even want it. Someone take it away.

He squeezed the pillow tightly with his hands in balled up fists, plugging his ears with the fluffy cushion. He’d seen them kiss before, why was it hurting so much right now? Had it always felt like this? Like an invisible string was tied to his heart and was continuously being tugged on at a different rate than even his racing heart could keep up with?

It didn’t feel good, that’s for sure.

Lost in his own moping, Renjun didn’t hear the knocks at the door before it slowly opened. He was still pushing the pillow as hard against his head as he possibly could, so when the voice of Jaemin rang out from beside him, he couldn’t help but to jump up and fling the pillow at the intruder.

Jaemin stood there unmoving, as the pillow smacked across his face before tumbling to the floor. His face was blank as he stared down at the defensive hybrid whose fur was standing on end, his tail looking like something akin to a toilet brush.

One time Jaemin had said as such and received a resounding smack to the upside of his head.

“Thank you for the warm welcome,” Jaemin spoke out monotonously as Renjun caught his breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” his voice still slightly shaky from surprise. Jaemin immediately smiled at him dropping the offended persona.

“It’s fine, Injunnie! Jeno told me you weren’t feeling very well? Something about a headache?”

“Ah, yeah. It’s still not completely better, but yeah. My head has been hurting a bit all day and I felt kind of, uh, sick,” he cleared his throat uncomfortablly while the other shot him his natural pout.

“Well,” Jaemin sighed deeply, looking strangely upset, “you know what this means?”

Renjun’s heart began to beat out of his chest. Did they know? Was he caught? Were they going to take him to the doctor because he had lied about having an aching head all day?

He knew he was wrong on all accounts when Jaemin leaped on top of the small hybrid, and began to squeeze him closely, cooing softly, not too loudly as to not hurt his head even more.

“It means, you get all the Nana cuddles you want, free of charge!”

Renjun sucked in a deep breath between his teeth, feeling the racing beat of his heart that he had come to expect in these situations.

He couldn’t do this. He really couldn’t.

“I don’t want to cuddle Jaemin,” he spoke softly and evenly. Jaemin turned him in his grasp so that they were facing one another. He pet the hybrid softly and caressed his face, occasionally squishing his cheeks.

“It’s okay, I know you don’t feel well. But! Nana cuddles have proven to heal almost all wounds, just ask Jeno!”

_Just ask Jeno._

His partner that he loved that he should be holding right now instead of Renjun. Oh no, he was about to get emotional again. He really couldn’t do this. He felt so strangely fragile and he was sick of it.

“Jaemin. I don’t want to.”

“I know you feel bad, let me just-“

“I said no, Jaemin!”

Renjun’s voice came out sharp and much louder than he had ever spoken before. Jaemin’s eyes were wide and confused. To his credit, he immediately detached himself from the hybrid and sat up, moving away slightly. Immediate regret sank into his stomach when he saw the obvious hurt flash in Jaemin’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Renjun. I should have stopped when you asked.”

“No, it’s just,” Renjun sighed out frustrated, dropping his head into his hands. “I just don’t feel good, okay?”

“Okay.”

He felt the bed dip as Jaemin stood. Finally turning to look, he saw the pink hair turn around the corner of his door and disappear down the hallway.

 _Stupid, Renjun._ _You’re supposed to get over them, not make them hate you._

This was even worse. He needed to get up and go apologize right this second. Renjun never wanted to see that look in Jaemin’s eyes again, especially because of him.

Hurriedly standing, Renjun walked with a purpose down the hallway, holding his tail across his body for comfort. Rounding the corner he didn’t see either Jeno or Jaemin, so he quickly ascended the stairs and went to their closed door knocking.

It didn’t take more than a handful of seconds for Jeno to answer the door, his face pinched in concern.

“Hey, Junnie. How’s your headache?”

“Oh, it’s better. I guess.” Jeno just nodded in return looking at the hybrid with focused eyes.

“So, what’s up?”

“Um. Is Jaemin in here?” Looking over his shoulder, Jeno stepped backwards and opened the door the rest of the way letting Renjun come inside.

“He’s in the bathroom right now, but he’ll be out in a minute.”

Renjun nodded awkwardly, following Jeno as they both sat on the edge of their large bed. They sat in silence, guilt swirling in his stomach. Jeno didn’t seem upset or on edge, so Renjun figured he wasn’t too mad at him. But then again, Jeno is so nice this might actually be his mad face.

The bathroom door opened as Jaemin walked out, a washcloth wiping over his face.

“Jeno, do- oh.” Jaemin looked up catching Renjun’s eyes, before the hybrid looked down at the floor pursing his lips and swinging his feet back and forth awkwardly. “Hey, Renjun.”

Jaemin straightened his shoulders obviously trying to appear nonchalant as he crossed their room to their dresser, opening a drawer and digging around in it aimlessly.

“Hi.”

Renjun stared at the wide expanse of the pink haired boy’s back as it bent over slightly, searching for something that seemingly didn’t exist if how long it was taking to find was any indication. He felt a gentle hand settle itself on his thigh, causing him to look to Jeno who was half smiling half grimacing and jerking his head in the direction of his partner.

“Uh, Jaemin?”

“Hm?” He called, still not giving up his commitment to explore every inch of that one drawer.

“I’m really sorry I snapped,” he saw Jaemin’s shoulders relax slightly as he seemingly exhaled. “I’ve been in a really weird mood lately.”

“It’s fine, Renjun,” Jaemin spoke softly finally giving up, and closing the drawer. “I shouldn’t have pushed it and just stopped when you asked.”

His face looked oddly blank, and it was making Renjun’s heart twist painfully. It was a sight he wasn’t sure he had ever seen. So used to seeing lively reactions from the other, positive and negative. Jeno broke the awkward silence a few moments later.

“Jaem, why are you being so dramatic,” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows trying to make a joke to lighten the situation. Renjun looked timidly between both of them before Jaemin let a soft smile curl the side of his mouth upwards.

“Being dramatic is too much fun to not do it,” he put the back of his hand against his forehead and tossed himself sideways onto the bed making it bounce.

Renjun’s butt flew up a bit, so he clung to Jeno’s arm squeaking softly. Jaemin laughed and made some joke about the fact that Renjun was so small he could use a bed like a trampoline. It’s too bad that he wasn’t supposed to like them because all he wanted to do was to ask Jeno and Jaemin to cuddle him all night so that he could make up for earlier.

As if he read his mind, Jeno fell back onto their bed and smiled up at them, motioning them both to come closer. Jaemin wasted no time crawling into his partner’s arms. They both looked at Renjun and waited while he chewed the inside of his lip in an internal debate.

“Hey, Injun. After dinner would you want to sleep with us again in here tonight? If you’re not feeling good, we’d love to be there for you.”

Renjun couldn’t hold a sigh in, quickly trying to mask it as a cough and not give away that he was a pining disgusting mess.

“It’s your bed, you guys should use it. Y’know cause,” Renjun gestured vaguely before locking his fingers, “couple.”

_Eloquent as always, Renjun._

Jaemin laughed good-heartedly, while Jeno smiled with mirth.

“Renjun, we have been sleeping in this bed together since we moved in. You sleeping in here with us when you feel sick doesn’t stop us from being a,” Jaemin copied the awkward hand motion he had made earlier, “couple.”

“Plus, you’re warm and nice to cuddle,” Jeno added softly.

Both of their smiles were far too soft and too sweet for Renjun to process. Where was that key to the steel box of his emotions again?

“No, really. It’s okay.”

“Is something wrong?” Jeno sat up onto his hands examining Renjun. Barely resisting the urge to curse realizing he might be caught, he replied nonchalantly.

“Yeah! I just still don’t feel good,” he tapped his finger on the side of his head. He needed to get out of here before they asked more questions. Jeno nodded slightly disappointed.

“Okay, well eat dinner with us first before you go back to your room. You haven’t eaten much today.”

Renjun agreed, the prospect of being able to hole back up in his room again way too appealing to possibly try and deny dinner and get roped into more conversation.

They went downstairs and Jaemin took something out of the fridge that had been wrapped and placed in a bowl. Jeno joined him in the kitchen telling Renjun to just go ahead and relax on the couch, asking him to not push it with his headache. He tried to swallow the guilt that bubbled in his throat at lying to them about feeling ill all day.

Renjun got a quick glimpse at what it was that the two were cooking when Jaemin pulled it from the bowl. Marinated squid was pulled out and set into something that Jeno had started to boil on the stove.

It didn’t take long for the apartment to be filled with the smell of seafood and spices. Renjun’s mouth began to drool and he continued to scent the air, unable to hold his excitement in. It smelt delicious and suddenly Renjun was glad he had decided to eat with them.

It was a torturous thirty minutes of waiting until Jaemin began to plate the small table. Two big dishes were set down both consisting of sea food, and Renjun quickly pushed himself to the ground and scooted closer, impatient.

Jeno came back with water as everyone began to get settled and let out a small laugh at Renjun’s palpable excitement.

“You should thank Jaemin, Injun. When he heard you weren’t feeling well, he stopped by the store on his way home so he could make you something he knew would cheer you up!”

And just like that, Renjun wasn’t hungry anymore.

His cheery demeanor deflated as Jaemin and Jeno looked on with wide smiles, obviously waiting for the hybrid to respond. The familiar sensation of blood rushing in his ears while his heart began to pump overtime struck him immediately. Heat began to crawl up from underneath his collar, spreading all over his chest and face.

Here he was being horrible to Jaemin earlier when he had gone out of his way to prepare a big dinner for him because he had been “sick”. The weight of the lie rested heavily on his shoulders, not expecting something as little as a headache to matter to either of them this much.

People got headaches all the time, why would they go out of their way to do something this special for him?

Somewhere in front of him he knew they were calling his name while he stared into the seafood dish unresponsive and silent. The embarrassment at his lie continued to spread through his limbs, heating his whole body.

Why would they do something like this?

Chanting over and over in his head to not take this the wrong way and that they were just kind, he finally raised his head to meet their now worried eyes. Renjun could feel that his face was flushed and hot, and he genuinely had absolutely no idea what to say. His reaction had been far too severe for him to make up any more lies.

“Are you okay? Your face is starting to look really pink,” Jaemin commented, mumbling the words out. “Do you not like it? It that why? It’s okay you don’t have to eat it just to feed my ego, Injunnie.”

“No,” Renjun voice came out dry and cracked, so he cleared his throat and took a quick sip of water. “No, it’s lovely. And it smells great.”

“So, what’s the matter then? You know you can always talk to us,” Jeno said reaching over to rest his hand gently on top of Renjun’s. The contact seared its way up his arm, so he quickly withdrew his hand to rest it in his lap.

“Okay. What on Earth is going on?” Jaemin asked, voice starting to tinge with frustration.

Renjun continued to heat up underneath the stares of the other two, his mind completely scrambled as he tried to figure out what to say. How should he respond? How did he get out of this situation?

Tugging at the collar of his sweater, trying to get a bit of air down his front in order to cool him, Renjun went to open his mouth. Whatever nonsense he was about to spew out of his lips though, they’d never know because just then Renjun got hot.

Really hot.

He had been heating up before, he felt it across every part of his body, but this heat was different. And he immediately knew what was happening.

His pupils dilated as he sucked in a deep breath, shuddering at the need for closeness that was starting to spread through him. It was hot, too hot, and he knew he would overheat and die if he didn’t cool off right that second.

Pulling his thick sweater over his head, Renjun was left shirtless, his chest covered with pink and red splotches that spread up his neck where he was starting to sweat.

“What the- Renjun?”

He heard Jeno’s voice start somewhere in front of him, but oh god not their voices again. Renjun threw his head back to hit the couch as he started gasping for air, not quite being able to cool down. The weird part would start soon as he wasn’t sure how long he would have.

As he went to place his hand on the ground in order to stand up and run off to his room, his knees began to shake. Squeezing his legs together as tightly as his could, Renjun panted slightly grabbing his glass of water and drinking thirstily.

“Heat,” Renjun was able to whisper out between a groan as he rubbed his legs together tightly, craving something but not quite being able to make himself leave the living room.

“Oh. Oh God, okay. We know what to do this time. Jaem, can you go grab the water bottles and fill them and start putting them in his room? I’ll go grab a few towels and we’ll-“

When Jeno put his hand on the table, the irrational heat side of his brain caused Renjun to lash out and grab securely on the other’s wrist. He wasn’t sure why, but Renjun just knew that if they left for some reason he was not going to be okay.

“Don’t leave,” he gasped between each word.

Jeno closed his hand around Renjun’s that currently held his wrist, as he slowly maneuvered his way over to sit by the hybrid. He carded his hands through Renjun’s slightly sweaty hair, brushing it off his forehead and neck as well as he could, trying to help cool the boy.

At every touch, Renjun’s body responded in kind. First of all the dreaded wetness began to gather between his thighs, but mostly importantly the heat faded drastically.

“Renjun, you with us?” Jaemin spoke as if he was talking to a wild animal and inched forward.

“It’s,” he gulped, “cooler. Like this,” Renjun was able to get out.

“Like?” Jeno asked from his other side.

Not moving his eyes away from Jaemin, he reached out when the other had gotten close enough and placed his hand in his hair along with Jeno’s. He sat down next to him on the floor and joined his partner in petting the hybrid softly, while they spoke out calming words to him.

Both of them touching him allowed Renjun to let his head relax backwards onto the couch once more, as his body slowly started to cool. It wasn’t perfect, there was still heat in his limbs and chest, but it was significantly better than what it had been before.

“You okay?” Renjun nodded, his eyes closed.

“It helps with the heat,” he panted out, feeling Jaemin’s hand trace lower onto the nape of his neck and rubbing gently as if to give him massage.

The gesture was sweet, but it had been a bad idea. Once Jaemin’s hands began to massage into his neck and back, Renjun absolutely keened, unable to help himself from spreading his legs as wide as they could get in the sweatpants he was wearing.

He was too distracted to see what the other’s reactions were, but an instinctual part of him said that this was the next step, so he began to try and tug his pants down his legs. A hand reached out and stopped him though, grabbing his wrist harshly. Renjun whined, close to crying.

“Injunnie, come back to us. We need to get you to your room, okay?”

“No, you’ll leave and then it’ll hurt,” one tear trailed down Renjun’s cheek. “It’ll hurt really badly.”

The last thing he wanted to do was try and guilt trip either of them into staying with him, but he knew that the heat he had started with was going to be three times worse as soon as they decided to leave him.

“Renjun, we can’t just-“

“Just help me,” Renjun gasped out, exasperated shooting Jeno a pointed glance.

“Help how? We’re trying to get you to your room. Trust me we’ll bring you as much food and water as you need.”

Renjun groaned, frustrated. Donghyuck’s words were lingering somewhere in his heat addled brain and were fished out, springing freely from his lips.

“No, help me how Mark helps Donghyuck,” he breathed out, closing his eyes. Both of the hands stilled in Renjun’s hair, and he couldn’t help the embarrassing noise of protest that left him.

“Renjun…” Jaemin trailed off next to his ear.

“Hurts,” Renjun cried out before he heard a sigh from his other side, and suddenly he was being lifted.

Jeno was taking him down the hallway to his bedroom, and Renjun’s legs began to shake. Was he going to get what he wanted? His body thrummed excitedly in anticipation.

The other set him down onto his bed carefully, before Jaemin came into the room carrying a couple large bottles that he placed next his bed on the dresser. Jeno retracted his arms and placed a soft kiss on Renjun’s forehead that caused him to blink slowly in awe.

Was that the first time Jeno had kissed him?

“We’ll bring in some towels, okay? Please call us or yell at us, anything, if you need something. Okay?”

Wait? Were they leaving him?

The rational part of his brain said yes, of course they’re leaving you. You’re in heat you weirdo, you need to take care of it yourself. Unfortunately, Renjun didn’t have access to that part of his brain at the moment.

So, when he was no longer being touched by either of them, he began to cry. Honest to god cry. How much more embarrassing could you get? He wasn’t sure.

Throwing his sweatpants off of his legs, Renjun tried to stay cool as his body began to heat back up to its original heat temperature. With neither Jeno or Jaemin in the room, a bit of his sanity came back and he pressed the heels of his palms harshly into his closed eyes.

How stupid could he have been? Asking a couple to, what, have _sex_ with him?

If he had been embarrassed by his last heat, this one blew that one out of the water. He genuinely had no idea how he was going to look either of them in the eyes ever again.

Renjun got worked up once more, whining loudly at Jaemin when he brought in a stack of towels, as he helped to place one under him on the bed. His small hands grasped at the other, begging for cuddles at least, but the other just simply stroked his thumbs over Renjun’s bright pink cheeks staring into his eyes before leaving the way he came.

And he was alone again.

This was how it had to be done anyways. After this maybe he would ask Jeno and Jaemin if there was something he could do about this to make it not suck as much.

His rational thoughts petered out once more when a fresh wave of heat wracked its way through his body.

When Renjun stuffed his hand down into his underwear there were only two things on his mind.

Or more so, two people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing so much more fluff sprinkled with angst throughout this fic than I had ever intended to, so getting into a slightly more sexual tone made me super nervous ;;; I was scared I was going to scare everyone away.
> 
> Originally I was going to put much more smut in this, but the story took me on a different path, one that I'm really loving. ^^


	13. Chapter 13

Renjun was vaguely aware of his phone ringing a few times at some point over the next couple of days. He also remembered growing angry anytime Jeno or Jaemin would check on him. Casually talking to him, coming in to bring water, looking at him as if that was going to make it any better and not a million times harder.

Their voices and presence was like a trigger for him to immediately get worked up and he was sick of it. Sick of them asking if he was okay.

Because he was not.

When Jaemin knocked on his door in the middle of a particularly bad wave of heat asking if he needed anything, Renjun, fed up, had shouted back to buy him a dildo because obviously he wouldn’t be getting any.

Of course the next morning just outside of his door was a small box that definitely had a dildo inside of it.

No comment.

So the third morning after his heat had started, Renjun woke up and knew immediately it was over. He could breathe easily, his stomach no longer curled in want and pain. The heat had seeped from his skin and was replaced by a chill as he lay naked in his bed with the window cracked.

Looking around briefly, he spotted the unopened dildo box on his dresser and glared at the offending object, almost as if it was the reason that all of this had happened.

He closed his window that was letting in the crisp air from outside and drug himself from bed to find some pajamas to change into before slumping himself back down. His legs were already tired and unstable just from the slight exertion alone.

Renjun knew that as soon as he let himself remember what had happened over the past couple of days that he would be met with nothing but insufferable embarrassment, so he tried to distract himself, trying to put off acknowledging it as long as he could.

Picking his phone up, he saw he had a couple missed calls from Donghyuck and a text that said to call him after his heat. This would be good; he could patch things up with Hyuck and distract himself longer.

It only took two rings before Donghyuck picked up and immediately asked how Renjun was feeling.

“I’m fine, but I don’t want to talk about my heat. I just wanted to apologize for cutting you off and not letting you speak. For being an asshole to you.”

“Ah, it’s okay. I know I was meddling, but I promise I only had good intentions,” Donghyuck quickly responded. “I’m sorry, too.” Renjun couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face. He missed Hyuck, and he needed to see him soon.

“Hyuckie, I miss you,” he spoke softly.

“Aw, I miss you too, but we have that dinner with Mark and Jisungie this week, so I’ll see you then.” Renjun’s eyes widened in shock. He had completely forgotten about that, and with the way things had gone over the last couple of days he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to look Jeno or Jaemin in the eyes again.

“Wait, oh god. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to talk to them about it. How?”

“I sent Jaemin Mark’s schedule and he and I planned it while you were in heat. It’ll be this Thursday since that’s when everyone was free. Why do you sound so worried?” Donghyuck’s tone turned sad, “Do you not want to anymore? I mean I understand because Jisung is a dog hybrid, but I promise he’s-“

“No, that’s not why. Hyuck I-“ Renjun swallowed deeply, his body swarmed with an awkwardness that he knew he would never live down in his life. “You can’t make fun of me, okay? I’m way too fragile to handle even light teasing about this.”

“Of course, Injunnie, what happened?” Clearing his throat, Renjun started explaining the nightmare that was the past couple days.

“Well first, I went into heat at the dinner table right before we were probably about to have a really intense conversation. They were trying to calm and help me, and then I blurted out that I wanted them to help me the way Mark helps you.” A choked noise came from the other side of the phone.

“I’m sorry?! What did they say?” Donghyuck rushed out, his voice squeaky.

“Well, Jeno carried me to my room and then they both told me ‘no’ a bunch of times and then left me alone. I got so angry every time I even heard one of their voices that I ended up screaming at Jaemin to…” his cheeks blushed recalling the conversation, “I told him to buy me a dildo. And he actually did,” Renjun spoke out of the side of his mouth, quietly.

There were a few moments of silence that Renjun assumed was Donghyuck trying to process everything, but soon soft muffled sounds could be heard. Right before he could ask Hyuck what was going on, loud laughter escalated through the phone. An intense frown pulled his eyebrows down at the reaction.

“I’m so sorry, Renjun,” Donghyuck spoke between laughs, “I really don’t mean to laugh, it’s just that picturing you screaming at Jaemin to buy you a dildo is way too funny!” Renjun could acknowledge that it was a bit ridiculous, especially coming from him. A smirk made its way across his face.

“I told him that I wanted it because I obviously wouldn’t be getting laid, too.”

Cackling laughter echoed loudly, causing the phone’s sound to crackle slightly at the volume. Renjun joined in with a few soft laughs of his own. He was a walking disaster, but at least he could see the humor in the situation.

“Oh god, Renjun,” Donghyuck panted out, trying to catch his breath. “I love you so much. Fuck.”

“Love you too,” Renjun chuckled. “But, on a serious note, I have no idea how I’m supposed to look them in the eyes after all of that.” After taking a few deep breaths, Donghyuck gathered himself together enough to respond.

“Yeah, that is awkward. I’m actually shocked they didn’t accept your offer because it’s hard to miss the way they look at you like a piece of meat they want to bite into sometimes.”

“I’m fucking sorry?! Excuse me?” Renjun’s voice pitched so high he wasn’t even sure if the phone would register it.

“I mean, they check you out sometimes, but I’ve seen you check them out too. So, maybe you all just need to get laid.”

“Do you have no shame?”

“No, not really.” Sputtering laughter, Renjun wiggled his toes uncomfortably.

“Well, you’re wrong. Because they immediately turned me down. They didn’t even look like they would consider it for a second, but that’s for the best anyways. I honest to god don’t think my heart could have taken it anyways.”

“Oohhhh, is our little Renjun coming to terms with his own feelings?”

“Fuck off. But yes. Don’t worry, I’m going to squash them ASAP.”

“What? Why?” Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Did you not hear me when we talked last time, Hyuck? They’re in a relationship with _each other_. Neither of them is single, and I’m no home wrecker.” Donghyuck scoffed.

“Okay, fine. But I’m not going to let you try and cancel this dinner,” Donghyuck continued, cutting Renjun’s protests off. “It’s probably going to be awkward as hell when you see them again, but just pretend nothing happened, I guess?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

But the thing is, Renjun wasn’t sure if he wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened. Getting some of the feelings he’d bottled up off of his chest, even if it was just his physical attraction to the two, was relieving. He didn’t have to hide that he had wanted them, and under the guise of his heat it was much easier to say.

After Donghyuck reminded Renjun a million and one more times that the dinner is was and always will be happening, they finally said goodbye and hung up. Without his friend to distract him, the exhaustion of his heat hit Renjun like a truck.

The muscles in his legs were taught and sore, he felt drained of energy, and also physically disgusting. A bath would be in order first and then stuffing his face and then probably going back to sleep.

Even though Jaemin and Jeno would bring him food and water, he found himself not eating much of it. He was far too distracted and with no one else there to help him, he often neglected to drink enough water and eat enough food.

Opening up the texting app, Renjun typed a message out to Jeno asking if he could fill the bathtub with water for him because he needed a bath badly. It only took a couple minutes until the other responded letting him know that he would text him when it was ready.

There. That text message wasn’t too awkward was it?

Relaxing back into his pillows and blankets, Renjun let his eyes rest and tried to calm down slightly. He knew he couldn’t go long without talking to either of them, but he also knew he could spend awhile in the bath and then claim fatigue as a reason to not talk.

Placing the phone on his chest so that he could feel it vibrate when he got a text, Renjun stretched his arms widely before letting his thoughts drift off for a bit, trying to get just a couple minutes of extra sleep in.

Renjun must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew his face was pressed against his pillow, drool wet on his chin and staring into Jeno’s sparkling eyes. He startled back, scrambling in his sheets in surprise.

“I’m sorry! I was trying to wake you up gently so that I didn’t scare you!” Jeno stood up, reaching his arms out in a stop motion. “You weren’t answering your phone, so I came to see if you were alright.”

Trying to calm his nerves, Renjun breathed deeply and tore his eyes away from Jeno in order to softly comb through his blankets to find his phone. When he found it he saw three texts from Jeno and even one missed call.

“Sorry, I was tired. I must have,” Renjun trailed off fidgeting with his phone, refusing to make eye contact.

“It’s fine. But your bath is ready whenever you are.” Jeno spoke softly, easing his way back from the bed to give Renjun space.

Nodding, he inched his way out of his bed onto slightly wobbly legs before walking to his door. Or trying to that is. Because his knees buckled and he fell to the ground, scraping against the carpet uncomfortably.

“Renjun, are you okay?” He heard Jeno’s timid voice from next to him, noting that the other didn’t come close to him, almost as if he was afraid to touch him.

“My legs are just weak because I basically didn’t even stand once for two days, and was in a bunch of annoying pain, and hot as hell, and I’m probably really dehydrated too, and it kind of feels like my stomach is starting to eat itself, but yeah I’m okay,” Renjun murmured. So maybe he was a little bitter, which he shouldn’t be, but… his heat had really sucked.

“Oh, I’m- Did you not drink the water we brought you?” Renjun shrugged.

“I tried to, but sometimes it gets really hard to focus on anything besides the… need, y’know.”

It was silent for a little bit, before Renjun tried to stand up again and walk to the door. This time he succeeded even though he looked like a newborn deer. As he walked down the hallway at a snail’s pace, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want me to just carry you? It’ll be faster and I don’t want you to push yourself.” Renjun sighed and stared at the floor feeling resigned to his fate. No matter what he did, he’d never be able to escape them, would he?

“Yes, please.”

Jeno came around to his side, supporting his back with one arm while his other bent down to scoop Renjun up underneath his knees. Wrapping his arms lightly around Jeno’s neck, he refused to look up from the floor. How many times had Jeno picked him up since they had met? It was like he was always carrying him around, like annoying baggage that he couldn’t get rid of. Like he was a nuisance that he had to always haul, like he was-

“Here you go,” Jeno interrupted Renjun’s self-deprecating spiral as they walked into the bathroom.

The bathtub was full and a pretty scented candle was lit on the side. A few different types of bath salts were set up on the ledge, each container describing the scent of each one.

“Wha… Why?” Renjun turned to look at Jeno, still in his arms.

“We wanted to make it up to you. We could tell it wasn’t fun, to say the least. So, Jaemin picked out the fancy bath stuff and I set it up,” he smiled softly. Renjun stared at him in awe as words escaped him. 

Okay, how could someone _not_ fall for them?

Jeno lightly set Renjun down making sure he had his balance before he let go. He turned and stared at the bathtub and what they had set up for him. This was insane, what on Earth had he done to deserve this kind of treatment? Especially after he basically accosted them during his heat.

“Okay, if you’re good, I’ll leave you now. The towel hanging up is for you to use, so” Jeno trailed off, his hands behind his back as he fidgeted awkwardly. When the other turned to leave, Renjun sputtered and tried to walk after him on weak legs.

“Wait!” Jeno turned back around, halfway through the door, confusion all across his face. “Uhhhhhhhhhh,” he stalled.

Why had Renjun said wait? He didn’t even know why, but shouldn’t he at least say thank you? Is that why? He just really didn’t want Jeno to leave before he had said something. As Jeno stared at Renjun, cocking his head, the hybrid opened his mouth to say thank you.

“Can you help me take my clothes off?”

Well, that sure as hell wasn’t ‘thank you’.

Renjun’s hands started to shake in nervousness as a bright red blush tinted Jeno’s cheeks. He was sure the same color covered his own face as well, the heat across his body feeling familiar.

“Wh-“

“I just mean, because I can’t really, like, my legs are you know. They’re all jelly and weak and so I was worried that I might, like. I might, you know? Fall?”

Renjun really should take a speech class or something.

Jeno nodded, an ‘oh’ forming on his lips. He shut the door and crossed back to the hybrid whose arms were dangling uncomfortably at his sides. Jeno looked down at him as he got closer, red spreading all the way up to his ears.

“Okay, so just?” Jeno trailed off, awkwardly moving his hands to hover over Renjun’s body.

Well, no backing out now.

He raised his arms above his head and waited for Jeno to get the message. Strong hands gripped the bottom of his large sweater, and pulled it upwards and off of him. His fingertips had brushed lightly across Renjun’s hips. So lightly that he wasn’t sure if he had actually dreamed it up or not. Either way, his body shivered.

Jeno walked over to the side and draped his sweater across one of the decorative towel bars. Striding back over to Renjun, Jeno grabbed the smaller’s hands and placed them gently on his shoulders.

Renjun’s eyes were locked on the floor as he tried to control his breathing when Jeno slowly undid the string on his pajama pants. When they were loose and began to dip down on his hips, Jeno set his grip to either side of his waist for a moment. Renjun swore he stopped breathing, the air around them tense.

His hands trailed down between Renjun’s pants and his briefs, as he leaned down to pull them all the way off. Jeno’s hands definitely touched Renjun this time that much he was sure of. The light touch trailed its way down his slender legs before he leaned forwards more, putting his weight slightly on Jeno’s shoulders.

Jeno helped Renjun step out of them one leg at a time, before he stood back up. Renjun removed his hands from the other’s shoulders and took one glance at Jeno’s face that was smoldering with a strange kind of intensity, before he quickly shot his eyes away again.

“Are you good? Need anything else?” Jeno’s voice was normal and soft as always, but his face told a different story. Okay, Renjun needed him to get out before he did something stupid, like get a boner just from the way the other was looking at him.

“Uh,” Renjun looked down to his briefs. His underwear was definitely going to be the hardest thing to get off. Maybe he could just lie down in the tub and get them off that way?

“I can just,” Jeno cleared his throat awkwardly, his regular expression coming back to his face. “I can just close my eyes, if you still need help?”

“Okay,” Renjun breathed out.

Jeno’s hands fumbled around Renjun’s waist trying to figure out the best way to do it, while he kept his grip on the other’s broad shoulders. His tail was swishing low and nervously. Realistically, he knew Jeno was just being nice and he wouldn’t even see him, but… he was about to be naked in front of one of his crushes.

Which was insane.

Thumbs hooked into either side of his briefs, and Renjun caught the other’s eyes, both of their gazes wary. Jeno’s eyelids fluttered closed, showcasing his long dark lashes before he began to work Renjun’s underwear down his legs.

He went very slowly and Renjun couldn’t help but to grasp his shoulder’s tighter when his thumbs brushed across the bare skin of his lower hips. A place where no one had ever touched before.

His briefs hit the ground while Jeno awkwardly tried to help him step out of his underwear while his eyes were still closed. After a bit of maneuvering and quiet instructions from Renjun, he was finally bare.

Completely naked in front of Jeno with his hands on his shoulders.

Shivers wracked through Renjun as his body started responding to the situation, showing interest. Oh no.

Quickly removing his hands, Renjun wobbled the couple of feet to the bath and plopped into it very ungracefully. Jeno’s eyes shot open at the sound, surprise and panic on his face. When he spotted Renjun in the tub, his knees pulled up to his chest so that he couldn’t see anything, the redness that had lingered on his face tripled.

Jeno muttered something about yelling if he needed anything else and quickly backpedaled out of the room. Renjun sank his body fully into the hot water, and he could feel his muscles responding immediately to the comfort.

Picking out the purple bath salts, he leaned his head back allowing the scents of the bath to soothe him. The purple one was lavender, and he knew that that was supposed to help calm you which is exactly what he needed right now.

Trying his hardest to block out what had just happened from his mind, Renjun sighed deeply and stretched his back out, settling himself in for a long bath.

After soaking for the better part of an hour, Renjun stepped out of the tub pruny and much less sore. He gathered the fluffy towel and wrapped it around his body closely while he blow dried his hair and ears before moving to his tail.

He still felt drained, but he knew with a big meal, that would hopefully change. So, he sped through his drying process and wrapped himself tightly before skittering back downstairs into his room without being seen.

Dressed and clean, Renjun sped into the kitchen and ate basically anything that he could get his hands on. There were some leftovers of something Jaemin must have made yesterday that he was particularly excited about.

Waiting for the microwave to ding, their front door opened harshly, a very frustrated Jaemin plowing inside. A soft dusting of snow was in his hair and on his shoulders. Wait, it was snowing?

The microwave dinged causing the pink haired boy to turn his head and see who it was. His eyebrows pinched when he saw Renjun, shoulders hunched, and standing awkwardly in the kitchen.

“Oh. Your heat over?”

Renjun just simply nodded his ears pressing flat as he tried to shrink into himself. He wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong with Jaemin, but he seemed to be very upset. And this was also the first time he was seeing him after propositioning him and his boyfriend.

His boyfriend who had also just stripped him.

Oh God, was that why he was mad? Did Jeno tell him?

“What are you eating?” Jaemin asked, breathing out deeply from his nose while he took his gloves off to place them on the counter.

“Oh. I saw something in the fridge. It looked like you made it, so I just…” he trailed off.

Jaemin just nodded and gave him a forced close lipped smile before he hung up his coat and began to climb up the stairs to his bedroom. What was wrong with him? Should he check?

Renjun quickly split his food into two bowls and walked slowly up the stairs, his body still wracked with exhaustion.

He used his foot to tap against the door in an attempt to knock, since his hands were full. After a couple more times, and calling out Jaemin’s name, Renjun pressed hard against the door with his foot to open it.

Jaemin was on their chaise in the corner, his head buried into his hands while his shoulders seemed to be shaking lightly. At the sound of the door opening, he whipped his head up to see who it was. When he made eye contact with Renjun, he quickly turned as if he was stretching his back and wiped his eyes on the sleeves of his shirt.

“Did you need something, Injun?”

“I brought food,” Renjun whispered out, unsure what else to say.

Jaemin’s pretty eyes were tinged red as well as the tip of his nose. Turning to place their bowls on the dresser, he quickly crossed over to the other and sat by his legs. All previous awkward or nervous thoughts about him and his heat were squashed.

“What’s wrong, Nana?” Emotion filled Renjun’s chest at seeing Jaemin this way. The other had always been a symbol of bright happiness and affection, so it was a bit shell shocking to see him this way. His heart also thrummed with anger at whom or whatever had made him cry like this.

“Oh yeah, it’s no big deal. I’m just tired, so I’m extra sensitive,” Jaemin spoke trying to sound nonchalant, but his voice came out nasally due to his stuffed up nose.

Renjun scooted closer and wrapped his arms around one of Jaemin’s legs and began to rub his face against it purring softly. He wasn’t sure what else he could do, but it always helped him and Hyuck when they were upset to hear the soft comforting purrs of the other.

They sat in silence for a bit before Renjun felt fingers thread through his hair. His purring increased as he snuggled his nose deep into the side of Jaemin’s leg.

“I got fired from my new job.” Renjun’s purrs stuttered.

“What?” He breathed out, trying to not sound as worried as he actually was.

“Yeah. It was one of the shows I had booked for a spring runway, so they had already met me and knew what I looked like. When I showed up today to try on a few pieces because I was told I might be in their campaign as well, I was called unprofessional, childish, and a little kid all because of my hair color.”

Renjun blinked widely, moving so that he could look at the other. Jaemin was grimacing, his hand still making its way through Renjun’s hair while he looked forward, completely zoned out.

“I told them I had no problem dyeing my hair to brown or black, which is absolutely true. And I would have had plenty of time to do it, too. But instead the designer of the brand basically spit in my face about trying to ruin his brand and make him look like ‘hello kitty threw up’ on his professional runway. His livelihood,” Jaemin scoffed, rolling his eyes as another tear trailed down his cheek.

“He told me that I was a disgrace and that he would make sure I was blacklisted, so that no one would ever try and work with me again,” at the end of his sentence Renjun could see his lips start to tremble. “They had my pictures. They had met me, Renjun! They knew I had pink hair, if they had wanted me to dye it before I came in, I would have,” his words broke off in a shaky inhale.

Renjun unwrapped himself from the other’s legs and stood, sitting softly in the boy’s lap. He quickly turned to snuggle deep into Jaemin’s shoulder, purring loudly and hugging him as tightly as possible.

He could feel his heart crumbling seeing the other this upset. Whoever the hell that designer was, he was going to pay that’s for sure.

Jaemin leaned his head onto Renjun’s before pulling him up more into his lap and snuggling close, soft breaths stuttering every so often.

“I’m scared,” he whispered, “If I get blacklisted as an immature kid I’ll never work again. Modeling is already a job with an expiration date, but this made that date move up by several years.” His voice was soft and afraid and Renjun would not have it.

He pulled back from the other’s shoulder and looked at Jaemin straight on, forcing him to maintain eye contact. Bringing his hands up to thumb at the stray tears that were falling every so often, Renjun held his face.

“Na Jaemin, amazing model, human being, and friend, there is no way one shitty man will be able to blacklist you from a whole career field.”

“But-“

“No buts. You’ve already worked with so many people who loved you, right?” Jaemin pursed his lips and half heartedly nodded. “Why would they believe some designers opinion over their own personal experiences? Especially if anyone asks him why he doesn’t like you, they’ll see just how full of it he is.”

Jaemin’s eyes welled again with unshed tears, shining prettily. Renjun was close enough to see the split and frayed ends of the other’s hair and the small grooves of his face. It brought him back to when he first saw the boy and immediately recoiled at how damaged his hair must have been, but now? Renjun couldn’t see it as anything other than charming.

“Thank you,” Jaemin whispered, trying to smile.

Renjun continued to rub his thumbs gently on the other’s cheeks, looking between his eyes before leaning forward. He knew Jaemin appreciated physical affection and being this close to him, Renjun found it hard to hold himself back.

Pressing his lips to Jaemin’s cheek just shy of his mouth on the corner, he lingered there for a beat before pulling back. He wasn’t quite able to decipher what the other’s facial expression was, somewhere between hurt and wonder, but he squeezed Jaemin’s cheeks together obnoxiously, trying to get him to smile.

“Now come on and eat. I don’t care if you’re hungry or not, but I split up my food to share with you even though I’m starving, so you have to accept it.” Renjun said, moving the other’s head with his squished cheeks back and forth as he spoke.

Jaemin finally smiled and let out a soft laugh, cheeks still squished, and stood up suddenly, wrapping his hands under Renjun to lift him. The hybrid squeaked out as the other spun them around once before walking out into the living room and yelling.

“Jeno, Renjun kissed me on the cheek! I win!”

Renjun wasn’t sure what he had won, but seeing the other smile, he was glad he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >.>
> 
> <.<
> 
> so maybe things are happening?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I need to say this every time or not, but I still don't have a beta so I apologize for mistakes! ;;

It seemed like every time Renjun tried to distance himself from Jeno and Jaemin, the harder they would try to get closer to him. It was like the world’s worst game of tug of war that involved Renjun’s heart and sanity.

He knew it was just their kind nature, but they would always make sure to include him in conversations that he was purposefully trying to ignore. Or the way they wouldn’t allow Renjun to sit in his room alone all day, bribing him out with sushi, boba tea, and Mario Kart.

Anytime he so much as sneezed, one of them was immediately handing him a tissue or putting their hand to his forehead to make sure he was well.

Everything they did was so kind and so thoughtful, and Renjun had never felt more doted on in his life. But, he was beginning to think that maybe they just felt bad for him. That they were embarrassed that he had tried to whore himself out to them and they weren’t sure how to break their disinterest to him lightly, so they continued to treat him like their child instead.

Which was all kinds of conflicting.

But then it was finally Thursday, and honestly Renjun was extremely excited. He had been craving company and had been feeling something akin to restlessness inside their apartment. Maybe it was because everywhere he turned there was Jeno or Jaemin.

Or both.

Renjun had also dressed up for the first time ever. There had never been any need before, but while on the phone with Donghyuck earlier, his friend had been going on and on about the amazing pair of pants he would be wearing tonight and Renjun had gotten slightly self conscious.

As soon as he uttered a single word about what to wear, Donghyuck was immediately stepping up and into action. Renjun was taking and sending every picture of his admittedly spare closet and trying on every combo of his clothes that Hyuck could think up.

The best things he owned were, of course, the extras from some of the shoots Jaemin would bring home. If they were ever too small for Jaemin he would always ask Renjun if he wanted it. So at least there were some cute things among his wardrobe now. Renjun cringed to think what Donghyuck would have said if he saw his clothes before.

The fourth outfit he tried on was ‘the one’ according to Donghyuck, and he had to admit… he felt kind of cute?

It was a bright blue silken top that billowed out on his arms and had a loose bow tied in the center of his chest. Jaemin had given him this one whenever Renjun had made a comment on how pretty it was, and his opinion still stood on what he thought of the blouse. 

Donghyuck had paired it with Renjun’s one good pair of pants, since he couldn’t borrow anything from Jeno or Jaemin because of his tail. They were a dark navy and skinny cut. Mrs. Lee had gotten them for him one birthday, but he had never had the chance to wear them.

While he looked at himself in the mirror, he began to feel slightly sentimental about it all. He wondered if she would smile at him if she saw that he finally wore her present.

Before he could tear up, Donghyuck began to fuss over what he was going to do with his hair. Which Renjun took offence to because his hair was already cute. A little fluffy, but that’s what he liked about it.

When his friend started to give him a look of disbelief over the video chat, Renjun told him he’d see him soon and promptly hung up.

Doing a little twirl in the mirror, Renjun understood why Jaemin liked modeling so much. Sure, what he was wearing was nothing especially stunning, but it boosted his self confidence tenfold. He felt kind of powerful. Like, if he wasn’t scared of the outside, he would be able to march out to a restaurant right now and find a partner.

Or a library.

Or an aquarium.

Wherever it was that people found love.

Shaking his head to try and get the thought out of his mind before he grew sad again, Renjun went out into the living room to help the other two get everything ready.

They had to bring down another table that apparently Jeno had bought and then stuck into their closet upstairs. Both of them were currently shifting the couch more towards the corner so that they could set the small table next to the one they already had.

“Do you need any help?” Renjun couldn’t help but to seem joyful as he asked, smiling big and very excited at the prospect of seeing his friend again.

Jeno looked up from where he was currently lifting the couch to meet Renjun’s eyes. Instead of replying, the other blinked a couple of times and tripped slightly as Jaemin started to move and dropped his side of the couch.

Jaemin yelled at the weight being put all onto him to carry, and Renjun was pretty sure it might have dropped on his toe too, but he could only stare back at Jeno.

The other’s eyes were slightly wider than normal as his gaze travelled over Renjun’s outfit. Standing straight up and abandoning the couch, Jeno came over to Renjun with his bright crescent smile in place.

“Jeno! What the hell-“ Jaemin angrily spit out, before he turned and caught Renjun’s eyes as well.

He wasn’t able to see how Jaemin reacted because Jeno was now standing right in front of him and pulling him into a soft hug.

“You look great, Injunnie. Is that one of the shirts Jaemin gave to you?”

“Yeah! I video called Hyuck and he helped me pick something out because he said he was going to be dressed cute, so I should too,” he chuckled out awkwardly. His nerves settling in at the compliment.

“Oh my God, Renjun. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and I mean that whole heartedly,” Jaemin spoke, his voice filled with awe as he came over next to Jeno. Renjun sputtered his cheeks immediately heating up.

“Shut up, stop overreacting,” Renjun muttered out, trying to seem unaffected and failing.

“But it’s true!” Jaemin whined as Jeno held onto his partner and laughed.

“So then what does that make me, huh?” Jeno joked, turning his face towards the other who smiled at him.

“The most handsome person I’ve ever seen,” lifting a finger, Jaemin poked just the tip of Jeno’s nose who laughed lightly before leaning in to kiss the other.

Renjun was directly in front of them, so he quickly maneuvered his way further into the living room and began to stack a few of the magazines they had out on the table to place them in the shelves by the TV.

Feelings wracked through him like ocean waves splitting and crashing on the shore. This is why he needed to try harder to stay away from them because he didn’t know how to just accept a normal compliment without his heartbeat racing. Without wondering if maybe-

No.

He wouldn’t let himself go there. Shaking his head absent mindedly, the other two came back over and continued moving the couch. Jaemin asked Renjun if it was okay if he went and checked the oven and stirred whatever was on the stove a few times while he and Jeno got the other table.

Soon enough, everything was set up perfectly. Even a small bouquet was arranged prettily in a vase on their counter. Renjun couldn’t help but to continuously smell the flowers and run his fingers gently across the soft petals.

It’s not that he hadn’t seen flowers before, but it was a pretty rare occasion that he would get to. He had always loved the smell of them, and he was pretty sure peonies were his favorite. Specifically the baby pink ones. They were supposed to symbolize things like romance, prosperity, and good fortune.

But they could also mean bashfulness. Which Renjun found especially interesting.

How could such a beautiful and complex flower be so shy? Did it know how much it brightened up a room or how whenever it finally did open up all of its petals it looked simply incandescent?

Losing himself in his thoughts, Renjun was slightly startled when their doorbell rang, quickly followed by fast knocks.

He couldn’t hold back his smile as he beat both Jeno and Jaemin to the door, flinging it open to be met face to face with Donghyuck. His friend squealed loudly before rushing forwards and grabbing Renjun around his waist and spinning him. Renjun tried to seem frustrated at the action, but a grin kept sneaking its way back onto his lips.

“Injunnie!”

“Hi, Hyuckie. I missed you,” Renjun spoke as he nestled himself close into Hyuck’s neck.

The soft noise of someone clearing their throat came from behind them. Turning his head, Renjun saw a slightly embarrassed looking Mark while Jisung had his cell phone out, typing away and not paying attention.

“Oh, sorry,” Renjun said, moving to get out of their way, before Hyuck pulled him close again.

“Don’t clear your throat at us. Let the friends say hello to one another,” Donghyuck pouted at Mark, rubbing his cheek into Renjun’s who held onto his friend and waddled into the kitchen and out of the way of the door.

Jaemin began laughing, and came forward to hug Mark and then proceeded to squeeze the living daylights out of Jisung who kept emitting quiet, embarrassed whines of ‘hyung’. Donghyuck pushed Renjun back and held him at arm’s length to do a once over on his outfit before giving him a thumbs up in approval.

Everyone had begun to move into the living room to sit on the couch or the floor while Jaemin went back into the kitchen to make sure everything was ready.

Renjun awkwardly shifted over to Mark who was in the middle of a conversation with Jeno. Mark stopped talking when he saw the hybrid and gave him a soft smile.

Sticking his hand and arm straight out, Renjun introduced himself receiving a small laugh from the other.

“Hey, yeah. I’m Mark, nice to meet you. Hyuck talks about you a lot, so yeah, I kinda feel like I already know you?” rubbing the back of his neck shyly, Mark shot a quick look to Donghyuck who had plopped himself down on the couch next to him.

“What the hell did you tell him, Hyuck?” He spoke to his friend who was looking strangely happy with himself as he wrapped his arms around Mark and snuggled into him.

“Noootthing. Don’t worry. I just let him know a bit about you is all,” he said with a wink up at the other hybrid.

Narrowing his eyes, he sat next to his friend before flicking his ear harshly causing the other to squeal and cover his ears.

“Mark! Protect me!” Donghyuck half yelled, as he curled into a ball when Renjun began to tickle him.

Shortly after, Jaemin called out for help bringing the dishes in, making Renjun release his hold on Donghyuck. Jeno and he went over to the kitchen while Jaemin pointed out specific things that needed to be placed in certain spots.

The other three had begun to settle themselves around the table once Renjun had come back out with two large steaming plates.

“Wah, this smells great Nana,” Donghyuck called loudly so the other could hear.

“Just wait til you taste it,” he replied mischievously.

Once everything was settled, Renjun sat down between Jeno and Hyuck, while Jisung was on the other side of the table directly across from him. After thanking him for the food, Jaemin pinched Jisung’s cheek while he spooned out several large pieces of meat to place in front of him.

“For my growing boy,” Jaemin cooed.

“Oh god. I’m sorry Jisung, but I really hope you don’t grow anymore. We have to keep buying him new pants every, like, two months, Jaem,” Mark groaned into his rice. Jisung snickered lightly.

“Are you sure you just don’t want me to grow more because I’ll _really_ start making you look short then?” Mark’s cheeks lit up with a blush as Hyuck laughed along with Jeno. Donghyuck picked up Mark’s hand and played with his fingers, still chuckling.

“It’s okay, you could be as short as Renjun and I’d still love you,” he coddled Mark. Renjun immediately flicked the other’s forehead, causing him to spill his spoonful of soup into his lap.

“I’m not that short!”

“Ow, Injunnie! That was hot!”

“It literally fell directly into the napkin you have in your lap.”

As they bickered back and forth, soft conversation floated across the table. Renjun took time to try and talk to Mark, getting used to speaking comfortably with people he didn’t know well.

He knew he hadn’t said anything to Jisung yet, and if he didn’t soon it would be even more awkward when he finally did. So, taking a gulp of water, Renjun crossed his hands in his lap as his shoulders rose nervously.

“So, Jisung, uh, how old are you?” He asked the dog hybrid in front of him.

Jisung looked up from where he had been shoveling rice into his mouth, his ears flopping slightly at the action. His cheeks were stuffed full and if Renjun hadn’t know better he might have guess the other was a hamster hybrid.

“I’m 18,” he said after swallowing, immediately forcing more food into his mouth as if it was the last meal he’d ever eat.

“Oh wow, so you are really young. I didn’t know if everyone calling you baby was just because you’re cute or if you actually were a baby,” Renjun responded, turning to look back at his food, proud of having talked to the dog hybrid. When he looked back up, Jisung’s cheeks were tinted pink.

“You can’t compliment him, Injun, he gets too shy,” Hyuck fake whispered, making sure Jisung heard him.

“Hyung!”

“Aw, my baby is so shy,” Jaemin began to coo again, draping his arms around Jisung and hugging him close to pet his head lightly.

“Why do I ever leave the house?” Jisung said sarcastically, making Mark laugh while the rest of the table went silent.

Everyone else looked awkwardly over to Renjun, as if to see if he got offended. Which he didn’t. It was just a baby hybrid making a sarcastic joke. The kind of jokes he himself would always make.

So what if Jisung can easily go outside? Everyone else here at the table could too. He can joke about it because it’s not a problem for him.

It’s not a big deal.

It’s _not_ a big deal.

Renjun kept repeating these phrases in his head over and over, while he stared down at the food, putting more on his plate and making sure his mouth was full so that he didn’t have to talk.

The lull in conversation made Jisung look around awkwardly before Jaemin pulled him back in close, trying to distract from the situation.

“Did I say something wrong?” Jisung asked, his eyes big as he looked from Jeno to Renjun’s complete lack of eye contact with anyone.

“No! You’re fine!” Jaemin reassured him as Renjun finished eating the food in his mouth before sighing and looking up at the other.

“I don’t know if they told you or not, but I’m kind of scared of the outside? So, they all got awkward about your joke because they wanted to make sure I’m okay.” Jisung tilted his head cutely.

“I don’t think I get it.”

“I have a fear of the outside, so I don’t really ever leave this apartment.”

“You never go to the park?” The puppy hybrid questioned, his eyes growing wide with disbelief. Renjun couldn’t help but to think about how cute the other looked, quickly smiling.

“No, I’ve never been to a park before.”

“Oh my god, you have to go. Let’s go, okay? You can meet Chenle, oh and Yangyang too, and play Frisbee or basketball with us,” he nodded sharply, determination on his face. “The park is the actual best, you have to come.” Renjun laughed brightly, reaching over the small table to ruffle the other’s hair and gently pet his ears.

“As soon as I’m able to go to the park, I promise I’ll make Hyuck tell you so we can go together, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Actually,” Jisung shifted, pulling his phone from his pocket, “just give me your number so we don’t have to bring that demon along.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

“Good, you were supposed to.”

Everyone began to laugh loudly, Renjun included, as he put his number into Jisung’s phone. His cheeks were beginning to hurt from how much he had been smiling today.

Looking across the table, Jaemin caught his eye mid laugh while he felt a sturdy hand reach over and give his leg a soft squeeze just above his knee. Turning, he then met Jeno’s eye who was smiling sweetly.

His heart began to thrum, so he just turned back to the table and picked up the biggest piece of kimchi he could find and shoved it into his mouth. He would just stick to making jokes at Hyuck’s expense for the rest of the night.

After the table was cleaned and dishes in the washer, everyone went upstairs to play games. Mark, Jeno, Jaemin, and Jisung were sat on the ground playing some game that Renjun hadn’t seen yet and wasn’t very interested in to be honest. Donghyuck was sprawled out on a pile of cushions from the couch with Renjun curled up next to him receiving his turn of ear pets.

Mark yelled out in triumph while Jaemin cursed loudly at the game over something that Renjun had missed. One of the screens lit up saying he had died, so Renjun figured that was Jaemin’s while the winning one was Mark’s. And he was pretty sure Jeno and Jisung were still battling or something.

“Woohoo, that’s my boyfriend,” Hyuck cheered half heartedly, almost asleep.

“Thanks, love,” Mark called out over his shoulder, flinching at Jaemin’s attempt to smack him.

“You T-bagged me, asshole!”

Jisung and Mark cackled loudly before Jisung released a loud complain and a whine before Jeno pumped his fist in the air. 

“Your turn to congratulate your boyfriend,” Donghyuck spoke softly while Renjun lay with his eyes closed purring softly. A nudge of an elbow poked into his side, causing him to open up his eyes to catch sight of Hyuck’s wiggling eyebrows right before Jaemin rooted for Jeno.

“You need to come over more often, so I can have someone push me outside,” Renjun mumbled to Donghyuck as he hugged him goodbye. “Next time, I think I want to try and go out to our apartment’s gazebo next to the fountain. It seems peaceful.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Donghyuck smiled before squeezing him one last time and letting go.

“Bye Renjun, hyung. Let me know when you want to go to the park,” Jisung said softly, waving slightly. Renjun couldn’t help himself from reaching up on his tippy toes to ruffle the other’s hair once more.

“Of course, Jisungie. You’ll be the first to know.”

“Awesome,” he smiled widely as his tail began to wag back and forth, only stopping when Jaemin came over pouting, saying goodbye.

When the door finally closed, Renjun stretched his arms far above his head, his back popping a couple of times before he sighed. His social interaction meter was at zero after today, but it was more than worth it.

Maybe he could convince Jeno and Jaemin to do more dinners like this. Having so many people around was new and not something he had done before, but the apartment felt so full and happy. Laughter bouncing off of the wooden floors, filling all empty space with happiness.

Jaemin came up behind him and hugged his small waist, bringing him closer before tightly wrapping himself around his body. Renjun froze awkwardly, stalling before raising his hand to slightly pat at Jaemin’s locked hands on his stomach.

“I’m really proud of you, Renjun. You got along so well with everybody, and it seemed like you were having a lot of fun,” he could hear the smile in Jaemin’s voice whether or not he was able to see it.

Renjun was too emotionally tired for this. Hearing him say he was still proud even after what he had tried to do? Tried to pry into their relationship?

“Yeah, they were nice,” he whispered his response.

“Seriously, Junnie! I was worried you were going to hate it, but you had that cute smile on your face the whole time,” Jeno came around to lean into Renjun’s sight, his crinkled eyes brimming with joy.

Okay, he needed to go.

“Thanks guys,” he replied, gently prying Jaemin’s arms from his torso before turning around to place them by the other’s sides. “I’m really tired after it all though, so I’m going to go to bed. Night!” He smiled tightly, before turning and trying his hardest to appear not hurried or rushed as he walked down the hallway to his room.

After shutting his door, Renjun went to go look in his mirror, playing lightly with the flowy strings of the bow on his shirt, batting at it.

Maybe Renjun needed to look up an article on how to get over someone you lived with this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I love Jisung so much. That's all


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick s/o to ivy who unintentionally gave me an idea for this chapter

The next couple of days Renjun was still trying to stay far away from the other two, which was turning out to be much harder than he had previously expected. Jaemin was still upset about his job, and Renjun would not let his personal agenda get in the way of comforting him.

He found himself wrapped in Jaemin’s arms more often than not, and he wasn’t complaining. He should have been, but he was weak.

It also didn’t help that Jeno was seemingly going through something difficult at work too. He had tried to hide it from Renjun and Jaemin not wanting to worry them, but Jaemin interrogated him one night and got him to spill.

Now he and Jaemin were huddled outside on the balcony with hot chocolate while he told him what had been going on.

“This client is being really difficult.”

“How so?” Jaemin set his mug down, turning to the hybrid and leaning his head onto his hand exasperated.

“He’s heading the design remodeling for a company’s whole brand. Apparently, they’re trying to turn their image around into something else completely because the previous CEO got caught getting a blowjob in the meeting room that had a completely glass wall.” Renjun snorted, inhaling a small amount of his drink and coughing.

“I’m sorry, what?” Jaemin grinned playfully.

“Yup,” he answered, popping the ‘p’, “his _wife_ saw them through the windows.” His eyebrows rose.

“Oh my god, that poor woman.”

“I know, right? But now they have a different CEO and changed up a lot of the heads of staff in order to make people forget, or something. And they’re taking all of their worries out on Jeno,” Jaemin sighed, the mirth gone from his voice. “Jeno won’t let them come close to his team and harp on them at all, so he’s taking all of the insults and demands directly on and dealing with them himself.”

“He’s so kind,” Renjun murmured out, bringing the now warm chocolate to his lips to sip on.

“Mhm. He’s wonderful,” Renjun looked up at the other who was tracing the outline on his mug with stars in his eyes.

His heart once again restricted itself tightly in his chest. He wished someone would look at him that way.

Maybe someday.

“Jaemin?” Renjun started timidly, receiving a slightly distracted noise of acknowledgment. “You know how you sometimes give me your extras from set?” Jaemin’s face glowed at that, excited energy flowing through his body.

“Yeah! You wore one of them for dinner the other night. It fit you perfectly,” he grinned happily making Renjun swallow and avert his gaze.

“About that,” he cleared his throat, kicking his feet along the ground, “I was wondering if there was a way I could get more into… fashion, I guess? I really loved dressing up,” he swallowed, embarrassed.

“Oh my god. No take backs, you have to let me dress you now.” Renjun blinked his eyes wide.

“Wait- I didn’t mean I needed to be dressed, I just thought-“ Jaemin held up a hand, cutting him off.

“Nope. I’ll see when Doyoung can come over and get your measurements for some fancier things. Maybe we can get you that matching grey suit finally! Feel free to use Jeno’s computer or laptop to pick out fabrics or designs you like, but,” his smile turned into a very mischievous and almost predatory grin, “just know I’m going to make you try on all kinds of stuff.”

Renjun swallowed harshly, already dreading where this would end up.

Jeno’s stress levels didn’t let up, and his negative energy was becoming palpable throughout the apartment. Jaemin would constantly try and cheer him up to no avail. Renjun even went so far as to willingly offer hair pets or cuddles, but Jeno sadly declined him telling the other how busy he was.

“Sorry, Jun, I don’t have any time to slack off,” he reached out and fluffed the other’s hair, “but thanks.”

Then he took off his jacket, immediately going into his office right after he had just gotten home from being at the company’s building all day working.

He was going to run himself dry, and Renjun was becoming very worried. It was obvious that it affected Jaemin just as much, if not more. Jeno had become a median between the other two’s personalities, so now that his calming presence was often missing, Renjun found himself much more on edge than normal.

Renjun even called Donghyuck and asked what he should do. After batting away the sexual comments his friend made, he had suggested just doing something simple that could help him relax and take a break.

“I’ve already tried, Hyuck. I offered hair pets!”

“Oh my god and he denied them?”

“Yes!”

“Oh no. He’s got it bad.”

After debating back and forth on what Jeno would personally find relaxing, Renjun decided that maybe if he brought him something into his office it be easier. Since it seemed that he never left that room when he was home.

Renjun used an app to get sprite and a fancy steak dish from a nearby restaurant delivered. This time he made sure he didn’t order too much.

He knocked on Jeno’s office door in the late evening after he had refused to come out and join them for dinner.

“Jeno?” Renjun spoke close to the door before knocking slightly again.

“Uh- yeah? Come in,” he heard his voice call distractedly.

Opening the door Renjun saw Jeno, his work glasses low on the bridge of his nose, while he squinted closely at something on his computer screen before looking down to the giant pile of papers he had on his desk. He ruffled through them sighing, before running both of his hands through his hair, leaning back against the chair.

His shirt was unbuttoned revealing his white undershirt, his tie pulled down and completely askew. With his newly disheveled hair, he looked exhausted. But even with deep purple rings under his eyes, Renjun couldn’t help the tickle of butterflies in his stomach at his appearance.

“I brought you dinner?” Renjun spoke softly, inching closer to the other, unsure if now was a good time.

Jeno swiveled in his chair to face Renjun an excuse already on his lips before he took in the sight before him. Renjun swimming in a giant pullover, sweater paws and all, holding two of his favorite things. His stomach then rumbled loudly giving away just how hungry he was.

Renjun quirked an eyebrow playfully, daring the other to try and say he wasn’t hungry.

“You need to eat, Jeno,” he spoke softly earning another exasperated sigh from Jeno before he reluctantly nodded.

“You’re right, thank you. Did you make it?”

“No, I just ordered it. It had five little stars next to the name, so I figured that means it’s good,” Renjun shrugged, placing the food and drink on his desk where Jeno had just cleared his papers from.

“Perfect,” Jeno replied, giving Renjun a small grin. “Thank you, could you shut the door on your way out?”

Renjun began fiddling with his long sleeves in front of him awkwardly, not exactly sure what to say. He was afraid if he left now Jeno would just leave the food to rot and immediately go back to work.

“Actually, could I hang out for a bit?”

“Renjun, I just really have to finish th-“ The other looked up at Renjun who was already grimacing in defeat. His delicate features pulled down in a frown. “I mean… Yeah, yeah. You can stay while I eat really quickly.”

Blinking in surprise at how he didn’t have to fight Jeno on it, Renjun happily plopped down on the ground next to Jeno’s big chair that he turned to face the other. A smile stretched its way across his face at the sight of Jeno cutting a piece of meat and popping it into his mouth before taking a drink.

“You need to eat better. If you don’t have any energy how can you work to the best of your ability?” Jeno looked like he was a little kid caught red handed.

“I know, it’s just,” his eyes looked back to his computer before he moved his mouse to click a few things, “I’m really stressed.” He spoke the last part as if it was a secret.

“Really? No way,” Renjun’s voice was dripping with sarcasm causing Jeno to look back to him. Sending the prettiest smile he could muster, Renjun batted his eyelashes.

Jeno laughed harder than he had expected, his eye smile on full display, his nose even crinkling slightly. Staring on, Renjun sat back admiring the boy before him. He crossed his legs while the other still chuckled lightly, and began to pick at the carpet.

“You know, Jaemin is inviting Doyoung over?”

“Uh, yeah, I think he mentioned that,” Jeno responded, mouth full.

“I’m excited. He’s going to get my measurements for some clothes,” his voice came out light, lilting with eagerness.

“Oh, so it’s not all Jaemin’s idea?” Jeno asked, suspicious at his boyfriend’s motives. Renjun belly laughed at that.

“No! I’m actually really excited. When I wore that fancy blouse Jaemin gave me for dinner last week, I really liked it. I felt really, I dunno, pretty? Fashionable. I’ve never dressed up like that before,” he smiled softly at the carpet, once more picking at it.

“Well, you definitely did look very pretty,” Jeno complimented genuinely.

Renjun refused to look up at the other not willing to expose his rosy cheeks. Maybe he should just invest in some kind of blush, so that way they wouldn’t know he was constantly blushing because of them. He could just pretend it was a fashion statement.

“Thanks,” he breathed out before clearing his throat. “I know you said no to the hair pets, which is just crazy, but if you want I could give you a back massage? Hyuck said it could help lessen some of your tension.” A soft sigh followed by a disbelieving chuckle came from the other.

“Even Donghyuck knows? Wow, I really must be working myself into a hole then.” Scrunching his nose up, Renjun tilted his head and looked at Jeno.

“Yeah. You are.”

Jeno swallowed at the honesty before nodding his head begrudgingly. He took a couple more big bites of his steak before he scratched uncomfortably at his neck.

“Well, I guess that’d be okay? I mean, it might help? Maybe?” He mumbled out making Renjun surprised, honestly not having expected the other to accept.

“Cool! I watched some YouTube videos, so don’t be surprised if I blow your mind,” Renjun boasted, hopping up to stand behind Jeno at his desk.

Jeno loosened his tie the rest of the way off and tossed it lightly onto one of the file cabinets he had in the corner, his button down following.

This was fine.

A sexy muscled up guy that you may or may not have a crush on stripping down to a tight white shirt before you massage him?

Totally fine.

Wait. Had Donghyuck set him up?

Before he could curse out his friend, Jeno lowered the chair slightly, so that he was at a much more comfortable height for Renjun to reach.

“I-,” Jeno cleared his throat, “really, thank you for this. All of this,” he gestured vaguely at the food and drink. Renjun giggled.

“Of course, you’ve helped me how many times now? It’s only right that I return the favor to you and Jaemin when you need it.” In Jeno’s computer screen, he could see the other make some kind of contemplative face before schooling his features.

“Yeah, of course. Thank you.” Renjun simply nodded and placed his hands on the other’s shoulders, breathing out slowly to prepare himself.

_Don’t think about how the last time you held his shoulders you were naked. Don’t think about how the last time you held his shoulders you were naked. Don’t think about how the last time you held his shoulders you were naked. Don’t think about how the last time you held his shoulders you were naked._

“Renjun?”

“Huh?”

He realized he had just been gently resting his hands on him while his mind spiraled. Pretending like he wasn’t absolutely embarrassed, Renjun began to softly knead at the other’s neck.

“If you need more or less pressure, let me know. My hands aren’t super strong, but I saw that some people use their elbows, so.” Jeno hummed in response.

First he used his thumbs to press into the other’s nape on either side of his neck and pressed harshly while he moved them downwards to his shoulders. He did this a few times before moving onto massaging his shoulders. Pressing deeply into the muscles between his shoulder blades while using his other fingers to dig lightly into the tops of his shoulders, Renjun admired his strong back.

“Your muscles are super tight, holy shit. I mean, I guess I don’t really know if this is the normal, but it really feels like I’m massaging a brick wall,” Renjun mumbled, moving back up to press small circles into one side of his neck, while he tilted his head to the side with his other hand.

“Ugh, no. Yeah, it’s the stress. But this is,” Renjun ran his hands down the center of Jeno’s back deeply, making the other cut off in a groan.

A really sexy deep groan that Renjun would not be acknowledging nor thinking about ever again. He needed to calm down and not be a pervert; he was just giving a massage.

The more he kneaded that one spot, the more soft grunts he earned from Jeno. He rationalized that there was a knot there and that’s why he kept going back to that spot. Not to hear the sinful noises coming out of Jeno’s mouth, as if he was-

Renjun shook his head harshly, and moved his hands back up. He was fine, and he most certainly was _not_ on the verge of a mental breakdown.

After several minutes, his hands began to start to cramp up, so he stopped. Jeno’s eyelids had drooped slightly. He slowly raised his head when he realized Renjun had stopped.

“God, Renjun. I owe you, Jaemin is going to be so jealous. You’re really good at that,” Jeno spoke encouragingly while he started to roll his shoulders to see how they felt now. Before Renjun could so much as blush, Jeno’s door opened to the sight of Jaemin holding a bowl of ice cream.

“Jaemin is going to be jealous of what?”

“Oh no.”

He was going to be giving massages for forever now. What had he gotten himself into?

The next weekend Renjun found himself standing atop a small pedestal in Jeno and Jaemin’s room in a plain t-shirt and shorts, like he was told. The man named Doyoung, was currently circling Renjun making him blush and fiddle with his fingers nervously. Jaemin was sat on the bed, hardly containing his excitement. It was practically visible in the air, and apparently not only Renjun thought so.

“Jaemin, if you don’t stop vibrating I will leave. I can’t focus with your overflowing energy distracting me,” Doyoung spoke dully earning a pout from the other.

“Aw, hyung! You know I’m just excited. My baby has never been dressed up like this before!” Renjun really was blushing now, completely embarrassed in front of the older while also battling his heart to not get too excited at the nickname.

“I’m not your baby. And stop bouncing, it’s distracting me too,” Renjun babbled awkwardly, failing at coming across as nonchalant.

Doyoung however had appreciated it and smiled slightly at him, before turning to grab a giant binder he had brought with him. He walked back over to where Renjun was, and flipped through several pages before holding it out for him to see. The pages were littered with different swaps of fabrics.

“So, I think this color would look really wonderful on you,” Doyoung pointed to a rich forest green that had immediately caught Renjun’s eye when he first looked at the page. “Jaemin sent me a couple of sketches of mine that he said had peaked your interest. I could do a few things in this fabric. I’m thinking a couple different kinds of button downs.”

He began to flip through the pages once more, while Jaemin had slowly crept up behind Doyoung to peek over his shoulder in order to see what they were talking about.

“This,” he pointed to a grey corduroy square, “would be perfect for the matching suit you wanted, Jaemin.”

“Oh my gosh, it’s perfect yes.” Doyoung startled slightly, not having noticed Jaemin leaning over his shoulder.

“Do you know the definition of personal space?”

“Hyung, don’t be so mean in front of Renjun. He’ll think poorly of me,” Jaemin whined before resting his chin on Doyoung’s shoulder. The older laughed lightly at that, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Renjun. Don’t get me wrong I love Jaemin here, he’s just a bit too full of energy sometimes.”

“Don’t worry, I understand,” Renjun responded in kind, both of them smiling at one another.

“What? Now you’re ganging up on me?”

Doyoung ruffled the other’s pink hair that stuck up awkwardly as he turned back to go over to the things he had brought. Fishing through the clothing bags and his tote, he finally pulled a few things out and sat them on the bed.

“These are kind of just to see how the style and material will fit on you and where we would need to change certain things or emphasize others, basically.” Renjun nodded, trying to contain his excitement. “Most of them button up on the back, so I can help you,” he reached for the hybrid, his hands brushing the bottom of his shirt before Renjun unintentionally flinched, jerking back.

Doyoung immediately dropped his hands, not looking even slightly offended and began to talk again as if nothing had happened.

“If you put it on backwards, you can probably just clasp them in your front and then turn it around.”

“That, yeah,” Renjun swallowed, trying to not be embarrassed at his reaction, “that sounds fine.”

“Or I could help you, Injunnie,” Jaemin called, his face looking slightly worried.

“Ah, yeah okay.”

“Perfect. If you could put them on in the order I laid them out, so,” he picked up chiffon complicated looking piece, “this one first.”

“Yes, sir!” Jaemin mock saluted receiving a good natured eye roll from the other.

“Come get me when it’s on,” Doyoung called over his shoulder before exiting the room.

“I’m so sorry, Jaemin. I don’t know why I reacted like that. Really, I thought I was better with strangers and I really like him, I don’t know, I just-“ Jaemin grabbed his hand lightly shushing him.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Doyoung hyung doesn’t care. It’s nothing, okay? Let’s get you in this fancy looking thing now, hm?” Renjun grinned subtly and nodded his head.

As Jaemin looked at the article of clothing, turning it this way and that to make sure he had it the right way, Renjun pulled his t-shirt off over his head suddenly realizing that he would once again be stripping in front of one of his crushes.

Quickly scanning the clothes, he sucked in a quick breath when he saw the pair of pants that was there too. Maybe he could do those himself.

“Alright, Injunnie. Hands here, this one is weird.”

Jaemin held the fabric apart, showing just where he was supposed to put his arms. After a bit of fidgeting with it, it finally went down over his body. And it was definitely see-through. That’s new.

“Okay, I have to,” Jaemin trailed off, his tongue poking out of his mouth slightly as he focused on the elaborate tie in the back.

Long fingers ran underneath the material and up his sides, dancing along his hips, making Renjun jump and shudder slightly. Jaemin murmured out an apology that didn’t really sound like he was sorry.

His hands kept touching his back, as he tried to lace something through the inside that he was having trouble with. After wrestling with it for awhile, Jaemin finally got it and let out a small cheer of success. His hands then came to grip either side of Renjun’s torso just underneath his ribs and he felt the other lean close.

“It’s really pretty, Injunnie.”

His body reacted as if he had just dove head first and naked into an ice fishing hole, that’s how hard he shivered, goose bumps scattered across all of his skin. Renjun tried not to make it obvious that he had trouble catching his breath, but if the smirk on the other’s face was anything to go by, he definitely knew.

“Ready, hyung!” Jaemin called out, his arms crossed with a vaguely smug look across his face.

Doyoung came back in and took a few of his measurements, putting a few pins in places, and writing everything down. Much too soon, he was leaving again and Jaemin was making his way over to the pair of pants on the bed.

Swallowing harshly, Renjun went to pull his shorts down before a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Wait, let me take this contraption off first,” Jaemin sighed out.

“O-okay.”

His hands found their way back underneath the shirt, prancing their marry way across his skin. The ties slowly became looser and looser before Jaemin reached down next to his hips again, and ran his hands up his sides, slowly stripping him of the shirt.

Renjun lifted his arms, silently, his brain fizzling out at the touch.

What on Earth was going on?

“Have to be careful, there’s pins,” Jaemin spoke under his breath, concentration in his voice.

When the chiffon was carefully placed back in its spot on the bed, Jaemin stalked back over in front of Renjun, looking him dead in the eyes and giving him a small smile.

“You doing okay? Not too overwhelmed, right? We can stop anytime you want to.”

“Oh, yeah I’m fine. You can go on, or like, help, yeah,” Renjun gulped roughly at the intense eye contact.

Jaemin took another step forward, putting one of his feet up on the small pedestal Renjun stood on. Before Renjun’s brain could catch up to what was going on, Jaemin had his fingers on the buttons of his shorts, slowly but surely popping them open.

Renjun clenched his fists and stared up at the ceiling asking the universe what he had done wrong to deserve this. Because it was absolutely unfair.

“I can-“

“No, it’s okay. I got it,” Jaemin spoke evenly, beginning to unzip his shorts.

Hooking his fingers into the fabric, he slowly worked them off of him, making sure to brush gently against his legs on the way down. Renjun leaned forward to place his hands on Jaemin’s shoulders, struck with an extreme sense of de ja vu.

“You know,” Jaemin uttered suddenly, “I think it’s only fair that since Jeno helped you once, I should too, right?” Heat flamed its way up his chest, tingeing his whole body pink.

“Huh?” Renjun breathed out.

“Just that Jeno got to help you undress when you weren’t feeling well. I felt left out and like a bad,” Jaemin stopped pausing a moment before continuing, “like a bad _friend_.”

Yes, friend. Friends did this. Yes.

“Should I help you all the way, like he did?” Jaemin smirked wickedly as he stood back up and rested his fingers along the edge on Renjun’s briefs, tracing the elastic back and forth.

_Holy fuck, what the hell is happening_.

Before Renjun’s brain could explode into a million conflicted pieces that all said ‘I like Jeno & Jaemin’ on them, the other stepped back and laughed lightly, a pretty tinkling sound.

“I’m just messing with you, Injunnie. I hope I didn’t scare you too much,” he winked at the other before going to grab the pants on the bed. “Okay, now lift your left foot.”

Renjun made his body comply while he completely checked out mentally. His poor brain could not properly process these emotions and he was about one wrong brush of Jaemin’s finger away from having a raging hard on.

This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so
> 
> ( ◉ 3 ◉ )


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note the updated tags

Every tactic Renjun tried to use in order to pull away from Jeno and Jaemin failed over and over again, until he was smacked across the face by the most obvious thing.

Painting.

Jeno and Jaemin had always respected his privacy when it came to his want to be alone and paint, and he hadn’t touched his materials since he finished their portrait anyways. It would be a good way to clear his mind and think through things as well.

Renjun was not stupid. He knew that Jaemin had been flirting with him, but the thing is, Jaemin was always a natural flirt. The first thing he had ever said in front of him was how cute Renjun was and then asked if he could keep him.

Which was much more than the standard hello.

Of course he had taken into account with said flirting, that Jaemin had been quick to withdraw and admit that he was just messing with him the whole time, too.

If Renjun needed any other kind of concrete evidence that it was just all in good fun and not real, Jaemin had handed it to him on a silver platter.

Donghyuck had been harder convince than himself.

When Renjun explained what had happened during his fitting, his friend almost had a complete meltdown. It took Renjun a solid ten minutes begging Donghyuck to calm down before he finally stopped screaming.

It was hard to swallow when Renjun admitted that Jaemin told him he had been joking. Even that stalled Donghyuck’s enthusiasm slightly. Having known the pink haired boy for several years now, he always knew that Jaemin was very forward in his flirting. But, he was also very explicit when he was pursuing someone too.

So, even Donghyuck took pause.

A piece of Renjun’s heart cracked at that.

In the back of his mind he had been grasping at hope that maybe he was just being thick headed, but Donghyuck’s reluctant agreeing had him fall from whatever ledge of hope he had been clinging to.

If he was right that Jaemin was just messing with him, shouldn’t he be happy?

Shouldn’t he be relieved that he needn’t worry that he was sticking himself where he didn’t belong?

His brush curved, the line growing fat as he pushed into the canvas more before pulling back to bring it to a thin ending. Placing the flat brush down, he traded it for his filbert, dipping lightly into the white he had set out on his palette.

Pinks blended into soft, sherbet oranges to create a summery and glowing sky. He began to outline the clouds before leaning back and looking at it. Something about it wasn’t the right color. There was still something off.

Furrowing his brow, Renjun dipped back into his pinks, mixing the shades lightly, and touching up what had appeared to be off to him.

Renjun often enjoyed painting the sky and nature, but it was always a sky or nature he had dreamt up. Something that would pop into his mind that he was sure was beautifully existing somewhere out there. And if he couldn’t see it, why not paint it and bring a bit of the world back to him?

Wiping his brow slightly while he tugged uncomfortably at the loose scarf on his neck, Renjun tilted his head, staring. The extra pink is what it had needed. The color was perfect now.

The sky in front of him was full of billowing clouds so large they engulfed the entire field and skyline. Only the smallest bouts of peonies could be found sprinkled throughout the greenery. The pink was such a sweet color that it made him smile.

An effervescent glowing pink.

It was almost like the clouds looked edible.

Like tufts of cotton candy.

Renjun sucked in a deep breath between his teeth, depositing his brush into the small bowl of cleaner he had beside him. Groaning, he buried his head deep into his hands. He really was a goner, wasn’t he?

He had just painted an entire art piece that was inspired by Jaemin’s hair color.

He needed help.

The painting was beautiful, and he was very proud of it, so he ended up sealing it and placing it in his closet next to the untouched portrait of the two. Renjun promised to himself that he would think through his artistic ideas more carefully first so that he wouldn’t make himself far too aware of his own hopelessness.

Using painting as his escape had come to be very effective. Anytime the balcony door opened, all Renjun had to say was that he was busy and then whoever had come out to check on him would retreat.

It was becoming more like when he had first moved in with the two.

Nice and quiet conversations and the occasional interaction, but instead of holed up and scared, Renjun was indulging himself in his favorite hobby. And it was _almost_ enough to fill the emptiness of Jeno and Jaemin in his heart.

So, he painted more.

In his current painting he had gone for the night sky, something to compliment his other piece. Since he had used mostly pink and then green, pink’s contrasting color, in the last one, he was going to fill this night sky with an array of blues and stars dipped in sunshine yellow.

He was actually excited to see the two side by side when he was finished. The other painting was gorgeous, but something still felt slightly missing. Maybe it was the awkwardness of knowing that it was basically inspired by Jaemin, but this night sky would change the meaning to something else.

Deep blue navys swirled with blues so dark they teetered on black. Every star he placed meticulously, saving the night time moon for last.

His brushes moved as if they were an extent of his own hands, gracefully arching their way over the canvas. For some reason his heart seemed to be calling out to this painting.

Maybe it was how the moon reflected off of the deep ocean, something that he could only dream of seeing. The moon had ended up becoming the centerpiece of the painting. A bright waning crescent, almost a half moon, stood out among the deep darkness that was draped across every corner.

But, it wasn’t a sad darkness.

Because the moon was smiling.

Its light shown across the tranquility and mystery of the sea, beaming down at who knows what could be lying below the surface. It didn’t matter that the moon was not full, because its presence alone lit up the painting.

Renjun sat back, happy with his work. He imagined hanging the two canvases in his room, finally adding something to personalize the space.

Bright, giggling pink complimenting deep, thoughtful blues.

Taking his effort in, Renjun felt his face fall and his heart clench.

God, was he that fucking much of a goner.

Why it took him more than five seconds to realize this painting complimented the other so well because it was reminiscent of Jeno, he would never know.

Even his subconscious couldn’t stay away from them.

Slowly standing up, he glossed the canvas and sat back down staring at the painting in silence. The quiet rush of water from the fountain and the TV loud somewhere from inside dully thrumming in his ears.

He wasn’t sure when, but Renjun’s eyes had begun to water before they reached their limit and spilt over down his cheeks.

They always say that one’s art bares one’s soul. That it can be the most intimate way to express yourself.

His shoulders slumped, his body losing its energy as he sank into the green chair. This was too much, he could not handle it.

They had found a place in Renjun’s heart and put in a bid and signed the lease. It was going to take a hell of a lot to evict them.

After begging, near tears, for Donghyuck to visit as soon as possible, he finally convinced the other to take time out of his ‘busy schedule’ of browsing the internet. They waited until the warmest day of the week, even if it was still rather chilly, but that truly didn’t matter to Renjun.

Besides, the colder it was the less people there would be outside.

Jeno and Jaemin knew that it would be Renjun’s first time officially trying to step all the way outside. Out of the building and fully on grass. It was possible he had overestimated his progress, only time would tell. But Donghyuck knew he couldn’t let his friend just give up.

As soon as/If it became too much, they promised to be there for him with open arms. Well Jeno and Jaemin had. Donghyuck was already securely wrapped around Renjun, holding tight for reinforcement.

“Remember, we don’t have to walk all the way outside, but I won’t let you bail before you at least try.” Renjun grumbled a half hearted answer as Donghyuck took him to the back side of the lobby where the doors to the outside were.

“Gotta do it eventually,” Renjun sighed out, using his free hand to mess up his hair, running his fingers through it repeatedly with nerves. Jeno came up next to him and patted his hair down, rearranging it before shooting him his glowing smile.

“You’ve got this, Jun.”

Renjun simply swallowed and nodded, looking away hurriedly. He was pretty sure Jeno and Jaemin were starting to catch onto his days, now close to weeks, of silence, but reaching out of his comfort zone might be enough to get them off of his trail.

“Just like the last time, okay? I’ll open the door, and you can just place one foot outside, hm? You’ll still be inside the building, we’ll all still be here, and I’ll close the door if you want to,” Donghyuck rubbed his hands up and down the arm that he had clung to.

“Okay,” he whispered his understanding. His eyes were locked on the winding sidewalk that immediately stemmed from the door that he knew would lead straight to the fountain. Renjun had checked before they came downstairs and no one had been out there.

Moving slightly in front of him, Donghyuck inched the door open to make room for Renjun’s first step. The wind that blew across his face was fine. It was the same temperature and scent that he was used to on the balcony, which brought a slight relief to him.

He would be lying if he said his hands weren’t shaking, but he still inched forward carefully, like if he stepped on the wrong spot he may set off a land mine.

The tip of his shoe found its way past the doorframe before he immediately leaned back and shot his eyes at the others. Jaemin’s smile was wide, his bright teeth on display, complimented by Jeno’s crescent eyes grinning back encouragingly.

Renjun turned his head back to face the door again, determination setting in. If he didn’t get the hell out and push himself to do this, he would be drowning in his unrequited feelings for the rest of his life.

So, with every ounce of strength he had in his body, Renjun stepped forward fully. Donghyuck was holding the door open to the side, allowing Renjun to move however much he did or didn’t want to.

But dammit, he was determined. He didn’t care if he had to force himself out there, he would get out there. So, he took a breath, pretending like it didn’t stutter through his chest, and began to walk.

Of course, it was probably the slowest he’s ever walked in his life, but he was still walking.

There were lines on the sidewalk that marked the concrete off into squares. Renjun used his breathing and counting technique on the ground, his feet and heart seeming to match to the rhythm of his steps.

_One, breathe in._

_Two, breathe out._

_Three, breathe in._

He pretended that he was breathing in sync with his counting.

He pretended that he couldn’t feel his heart in his throat.

He pretended that he was fine.

He had to do this.

Donghyuck kept speaking soft encouragements into his ear as Jeno and Jaemin did the same just from behind him. Renjun knew that the length of the sidewalk to the fountain and gazebo was relatively short, so why did it feel like he was walking the length of The Great Wall of China?

_Nineteen, breathe out._

_Twenty, breathe in._

_Twenty…Twenty one, breathe in._

_Wait._

_Twenty, breathe out._

His breaths began to feel suffocating, like every inhale he took only contracted his lungs more, as if they were ready to collapse in on themselves. The pressure throughout his chest travelled up to his head, as he began to feel heavy. Each step was harder than the last.

Knowing he was slowing down, he pushed further, grunting as if he was pulling weights.

Well, he was in a sense. Pulling the weights of this fear, the weight of unrequited love, the weight of being trapped inside due to his own stupid volition.

He had done this to himself, so he could get himself out.

“Junnie, you made it,” he heard softly from his left as his eyes finally strayed from the ground to take in his surroundings. He was only a few steps away from the fountain pulsing with water that trailed across a beautiful sculpture.

He closed his eyes before slowly turning his head to see the empty gazebo, just as charming up close as it was from the balcony. Looking up, Renjun tried to see if he could spot their balcony, but all he saw was the never ending building.

A building that was far too tall, looking like it was trying to kiss the sky. Or a giant that loomed over him, casting its shadow in its wake. Waiting for its prey to move so that it could crush them into nothingness.

Renjun looked back to the fountain. At least he was right about it being peaceful. Well, peaceful to anyone else that is.

Across the expanse of the grass and almost tucked around the side of the complex, a small playground that a couple of toddlers were frolicking on resided. They weren’t loud, but just the sound of people alone was new.

At least, hearing people outside.

“Injunnie?” Someone close to him called, he wasn’t exactly sure who it was. He was far too distracted.

It felt as if his senses were on overload. Everything he smelt, touched, tasted, saw, heard was amplified and blasted throughout his body, all the while his chest was still concaving in on itself. In fact, Renjun wasn’t sure when the last time he had taken a breath was.

When he finally managed to get a stuttering gasp through his teeth, a strong hand firmly grabbed his arm, trying to turn him to no avail. Renjun was glued to the sidewalk, eyes transfixed on the water fountain.

“Renjun. This is amazing, now let’s go back inside, hm?” He heard Jaemin say, his tone reflecting his worry.

“Yeah, seriously! This is pretty damn big,” Donghyuck echoed, tugging his arm backwards slightly, causing Renjun to stumble a bit as his hypnotic state was broken.

First his brain told him to not give up, to not be a quitter. How would he get better if he just sat inside and never did anything? Second, his body told him that he needed air and he needed to move. 

That if he didn’t get oxygen and moved from where he was he would die.

So, he listened to them both.

Gently prying Donghyuck’s arm from him, Renjun walked the next few steps to the fountain, sitting on the edge and staring into the water. It was clear and an array of coins littered the bottom, giving the water a silver tint.

He knew he was physically shaking and hoped that his friends thought it was just the cold. Refusing to look up at anyone, he would occasionally feel small tugs or caresses trying to ease him to stand up, but the water was peaceful.

Almost as if he was entranced, like it was magical water. How long had they been out here? Was he getting light headed? When did he stop breathing? Wait, no he was breathing.

Wasn’t he?

The air began to whoosh underneath his feet as he ascended into someone’s arms, a very strong scent of Jeno reaching his nose.

“Junnie, you’ve done great, we’re going back inside.”

Journeying back inside, every pulse of Jeno’s feet hitting the ground seemed intensified. His senses must still be on overload. He felt like he’d be able to hear if someone shouted from the moon.

Suddenly a piercing yell like a siren from hell came spiraling towards them. Renjun wasn’t sure if it was actually that intense or not as everything had been ricocheted up a few levels.

His eyes seemed to move in slow motion, his head dead weight as he turned to try and face the noise.

It was a cute scene. A couple of the children had ran over to the fountain, splashing in the frigid water. What appeared to be an adult running towards the kids registered in Renjun’s peripheral. They must be worried for their children’s safety.

Of course, kids would be kids, and what little kid wanted to go back inside when they could play with their friend out here in the world?

Two small bodies began their chase down the sidewalk, spotting both of the cat hybrids. Smiles broke out on their tiny faces, as joy lit them from the inside out.

Shrill calls of ‘kitty’ were heard ringing through Renjun’s brain as Jeno attempted to move back and out of the way. Everything was still so slow. His body was weightless and he couldn’t quite tell if he was lightheaded or just unable to think at all.

Was this another one of those panic attacks? He felt so separated from himself.

His heart beat began to thrum a low rapid pace and Renjun’s eyes locked on the smallest child headed directly for them. The child was cute, harmless, even precious he would dare say.

And then things shifted.

If the world had been slow before, it now entered overdrive.

A sharp tug on his tail had Renjun yelling out in absolute fear.

His senses came crashing back into his body as the sharp pain brought him back to the Earth. Mind not quite clear was filled with fear and nothing else as it began occupying every last space of his thoughts.

He knew it wasn’t safe outside. Someone was trying to attack him. Attack him because he was a hybrid.

He had to get out of here.

He had to leave.

No one should touch him. Why was someone holding him? This wasn’t right!

How would he get himself back to safety if he was held still?

Adrenaline existed for these kinds of moments. Moments where if he didn’t leave everything may be over.

His head twisted around, an extreme need to survive coming over him as his brain sent signals to every part of his body to retreat.

Animal instincts were real.

Maneuvering himself from where he had been captured, he felt his shoes hit the ground followed by his knees.

Where was the door?

Where was the goddamn door!

Renjun didn’t know when he began moving, realizing he was running as wind began to whip past his face. His vision was spiraling as he tried his hardest to make his brain tell his body to breathe.

The only signals getting through were _run, run, RUN._

He was in danger.

The outside wasn’t safe.

At some point, Renjun turned. The ground was still green and he was sure there was a building next to him.

Or was his mind playing tricks on him? Why was it so hard to focus?

Blood thrumming in his ears was the only thing he could hear. Even if he tried to listen, the world seemed silent.

He could taste his heartbeat.

And he was still running.

He had to have been far enough away now right? Why was he still outside? It wasn’t safe!

Internally yelling at himself, his body gathered against the nearest building that had to have been their apartment. Once he was inside, it would be okay. He could be inside and it would be fine. Jeno, Jaemin, and Donghyuck were here with him, weren’t they?

Or had he been alone?

Hadn’t he always been alone?

No matter how hard Renjun clenched his eyes and no matter how hard his legs pumped, sending him spiraling down a tunnel of horror, he wasn’t able to grasp rational thought.

Thick tears streamed down his face as his body slammed into the wall of something. The physical shock sent him reeling to the ground, gasping loudly. His tailbone slammed into the concrete, his hands coming down a beat too late to protect him, causing scrapes to litter his palms.

His vision was beginning to clear as the hurt and throbbing through his body started to multiply. Head spinning, he tried to look at his surroundings.

The movement caused his consciousness to swim. He wasn’t safe here. He didn’t even know where he was and he was not safe.

Putting his hands on the ground Renjun began to push himself upwards to stand. When he was righted he began to move again, only getting a few steps farther before his body collapsed, gasping for breath.

There was definitely not enough oxygen getting to his head, but the more he breathed in the more his lungs cramped and hurt.

Everything hurt.

What was happening?

Disorientation whirled around him, every thought he had was dripping in it.

All that Renjun knew was that he was alone.

He was alone outside.

And he wasn’t safe.

Trying to crawl along the hard concrete ground, his eyes shifted taking note of the narrow space he was in. There was a building next to him. Wasn’t that important? Hadn’t he wanted to find a building?

After taking a couple more staggering breaths, Renjun let himself fully fall. His entire body wracked itself with pain and aches. His heart was spilt at the seams.

He should be remembering something. There was something he _needed_ to remember. Why wouldn’t his mind let him think?

Shivering, he curled himself up as small as he could possibly get. If he was small enough maybe he could hide.

Hide from everything.

Even himself.

Renjun’s eyes blinked, unfocused, as his eyelids took longer and longer to open each time.

He could feel his chest inflating yet he didn’t feel alive.

He could feel his heart beating, but why did it seem like he was already dead and staring at himself from outside of his body?

Continuing to blink, his eyelids became lazier and lazier until they were too hard to open.

The last thing he registered before everything went black, was the soft scent of flowers nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mental health and healing is so, so important. I'm most definitely an advocate for therapy and find it to be a wonderful thing that everyone should do. Trying to push yourself is good, but you have to listen to your body and mind before you take it too far. This is fiction and everyone experiences these things much differently. I am by no means a professional, so take my portrayal of everything with a grain of salt. <3
> 
> If you want to reach out, this is my [curious cat.](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal) Feel free to message me or ask questions! 
> 
> anyways uhhh  
> yell at me on [Twitter?](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long sappy note incoming.
> 
> I just want to say thank you all so much for all the love you've been giving SIMH. I am constantly overwhelmed by what you say and how many of you have reached out to me on different platforms. I've never gotten anything close to this kind of response before on anything I've ever written. Hopefully you can all tell how much it truly means to me. Without all of you guys' support, I'm fairly certain I would have stopped writing this by now, letting my own self doubt discourage me. 
> 
> Anyways, I know it's "just a fic", but it's still a story i’ve created and... I'm just emotional. Thank you all so, so, so ,so much. I mean it! 
> 
> Ok bye.

He was supposed to be cold.

That was the first thought that passed through his mind when he came to.

Renjun’s consciousness had decided to grace him with its presence a few times, each ending with his body wracking with shivers and his head swimming once more before darkness took him.

But he was not cold.

He was comfortably warm even. 

As he lay in wherever he may be that is suspiciously cozy with his eyes shut tight.

If he opened his eyes and saw the small narrow corner he had hidden in before, Renjun knew he would pass out once more. That’s what had happened every time before when he had tried to clarify his whereabouts.

So maybe, he should just keep his eyes closed?

What if he opened them and he was at the pearly gates of heaven? He had been nice enough throughout his life to get in there, hadn’t he?

Not knowing was better than knowing.

He would keep his eyes closed.

For the first time in who knows how long (certainly not Renjun), he was able to hear sounds other than just his own heartbeat. No rushing rapids of blood pulsating through his ears. Not even the occasional ringing that had begun to plague him.

Just soft sounds of living.

Something rustling, possibly paper. Muted voices that sounded feminine coupled with a slow gurgle of something akin to a coffee machine. Some kind of heater vibrating from somewhere in the space he was currently occupying.

The more he strained his ears, the more Renjun thought he might be inside after all. A room somewhere perhaps.

Maybe it was the waiting area before you got your final judgment by God and he decided if you were good or bad.

At the sound of a door softly creaking open and then shutting rang out, Renjun knew he had to be in a room. He was inside, which was a good start at least.

He realized he had been swaddled in a thick blanket whenever dainty hands adjusted it so that it covered his feet fully. Wait, where were his shoes? He had been wearing some, hadn’t he?

“Hm. I think you’re awake now. Am I right?” A soft high voice cascaded down towards him. You could hear the intelligence in their voice, and Renjun didn’t feel particularly afraid for some reason.

He had probably exhausted all of his ability to fear ever again, honestly. Which would work greatly to his advantage.

“Care to tell me your name?” The voice called out once more, a light teasing tone to it this time.

Renjun’s ears pressed to his head, giving him away. Under the blanket he couldn’t help the quiver in his tail either when he realized he would have to answer this person.

Carefully opening his eyes, Renjun was accosted with warm artificial light, painting his vision with muted yellows. When his eyes adjusted, he turned his head slightly, so that he could peek at whoever had been addressing him.

A petite woman with a model-like face was grinning warmly at him, her expression seeming to say ‘I know something you don’t know’ on it. She had long, black hair and pale skin that was complimented by her decently formal, dark attire.

Renjun tried to open his mouth to speak, but only a breath and a few garbled noises escaped his lips. The woman’s brows furrowed downwards taking a step forward to look at him closely.

“Does your throat hurt? Were you screaming?”

“Was I screaming when?” Renjun was able to get out, his vocals fraying around the edges.

“When you had your attack?”

His attack? Oh right, Renjun had discovered he had anxiety. He also sometimes had panic attacks. Wasn’t that why he was outside in the first place?

Taking in the look of utter confusion on his face, the woman’s demeanor turned gentle and open.

“It’s alright. From what I could tell this was an extreme panic attack. Confusion and small occurrences of short term memory loss are actually common with this.”

Is that why he can’t seem to think straight still? His mind continued to whirl every few seconds, and it was starting to make him nauseous.

“Who are you?” The woman took a few steps back which prompted Renjun to turn all the way over and sit up slightly. He noticed he was actually on a rather plush couch nestled in a small cozy room with a few plants and soothing green toned accessories.

“I’m Dr. Bae Joohyun, but you can just call me Joohyun,” she smiled with her lips closed.

“Okay. I’m Renjun. Huang Renjun. And I don’t remember why, but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be here and I actually live somewhere else.” Joohyun’s chiming laughter dusted across the room.

“You’re absolutely right. This is my office, actually. You most definitely do not live here. I was hoping you could actually tell me where you do live?” She tilted her head, hopeful.

“Wait, what are you a doctor of?” His eyes squinted, forehead pinched in confusion, “And, wait, _why_ am I even here?”

“I found you in the ally next to a building about a block down from here. I called one of my colleagues to help me and we brought you to the place you’re at now. It was way too cold outside, and also by the looks of your clothes and appearance, you don’t normally take naps on concrete.”

No he didn’t. He didn’t even go outside. Why was he outside? Dammit, why was his brain still so fuzzy?

“I’m sorry, Ms-Dr-Joohyun?” She nodded, humor etched on her face. “I’m 100% sure I’m terrified of the outdoors, so I’m not sure why I would be there. But, that was probably why I freaked out, then, right?”

Joohyun’s lips pursed as she walked over to a small wooden desk where a few scattered papers and pens lay. Opening one of the drawers, she pulled a notebook out and began to flip a few pages before picking up a pen and jotting something down.

“Do you remember how long you’ve been scared of the outside?”

“Uh,” Renjun wracked his brain, and then something slipped into place. “Forever, I think. I used to always live inside, besides before I was first adopted. I’ve always been an indoor cat, so to speak,” he giggled at his own joke, fully sitting up to hunch his shoulders over.

“I lived with someone. A woman?” An image of a cake covered in strawberries flashed through his mind, and it was as if a dam of memories had broken. “Oh I remember. I used to live with a woman named Mrs. Lee, and she always told me that the world was scary. That we had no need to go outside, but she passed away... and then-“

Renjun shot up straight gasping deeply, stumbling off of the couch, balance off kilter. He whipped his head around to find the door.

“Renjun, can you sit back down? What’s going on?”

“Oh my god, they must be so worried. Oh my god why am I so stupid?!” Renjun dug his fingers into either side of his head, making his hair even messier.

“Renjun,” her voice came out strong and clear, her hands delicately placed themselves on either of Renjun’s shoulders. “When I press down on your left shoulder, I want you to breathe in, and when I press on your right, breathe out. Can you do that for me?”

He jerked his head in a nod, hands still fisted in his hair. Light pressure alternated between his left and right shoulders, he focused on the hint of lavender that seemed to cling to the woman holding him.

“Hey Renjun?” She called out, voice as delicate and light as a feather.

“Y-yes?” He was able to lightly gasp out, breath still not quite stable.

“What do you think of my curtains I hung up?”

“Wha-what? I’m sorry?” She moved him slightly to change his direction to face the large window on the far wall of the room.

“Do they match? I was worried the green might be a bit too dark, but since sometimes I like to shut most of the light out of my room it works well. What do you think?” He could feel the confusion written on his face as he tried to figure out why she would ask him that.

“Uhh, no? I mean yes? Like, the couch has a bit of dark green on the arms and also the throw pillow you have in that wicker chair, even though it’s pretty small, is almost the same color of green as your curtains.” Joohyun tsked from behind him.

“See, that’s what I thought, too. One of my coworkers came in earlier and told me she didn’t think they matched, so I’ve been a bit self conscious about it.”

“O-oh? You shouldn’t be. The vibe in here is really soothing and pretty. Classic, kind of. It seems to suit you, too?” He wondered if he was stepping over boundaries by giving too much of his opinion.

“That makes me feel so much better, truly. Thank you Renjun I really appreciate it. Sometimes I just need some reassurance that I made the right decision, you know?”

“Yeah, I totally get it,” Renjun hummed, letting his eyes gloss across the aesthetic of the room, taking it in. It really was rather homey, bordering on something similar to cottagecore.

“How do you feel?” 

He realized at some point his arms had relaxed to his sides, all thoughts of his heart and desperate breaths for air had halted, now just simmering to a normal nervousness.

“Oh.”

Turning to face the woman, she was smirking knowingly, before gesturing to him to sit back down on the couch. Joohyun sat next to him as Renjun grabbed his tail, holding it for security.

“Do you want to tell me what had you so worried now?”

“I just remembered what had happened. I was with my… friends. And I was trying to go outside for the first time. A kid startled me and,” he glances around briefly before meeting her gaze once more, “and now I’m here.” She hummed in acknowledgement.

“Who are your friends?”

“Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin, and Lee Donghyuck,” he rattled off while she reached for her notepad once more, jotting their names down.

“Do you have any of their numbers memorized? We noticed you didn’t have a cell phone on you.” Renjun hurriedly patted his pockets down realizing she was right.

“No, I have no clue,” before he had a chance to even begin to worry again, Joohyun was already distracting him, offering some tea. She told him that with their names, it would be no problem and they’d be able to contact his friends right away.

“I’ll wait with you in here, if that’s okay?” Renjun nodded his head, no hesitance anywhere on his face. He was much too afraid that if she left him, he might spiral again. “I’ll get my colleague to take this and get your friends. While we wait, why don’t you talk to me a bit more, hm?”

She was disarmingly easy to speak to, navigating his mind like a maze she herself had built. Unassuming questions about trivial things turned into stories of his mistreatment, his fears. A simple anecdote he had been telling about Jaemin’s cooking morphing into the story of Mrs. Lee’s passing.

It felt nice to feel validated for all of his thoughts, even the dark ones.

When she spoke, he could tell her words rang true and her intentions were pure. She would occasionally write things down which she had made sure was okay with him first. Everything Renjun said or did she knew how to string into another topic going deeper or lighter when it needed to be.

He found himself laughing out loud, disarmed of his trepidation so often he wondered if he made a new friend as they sat here basically gossiping over steaming tea.

Much too soon for Renjun’s liking, a soft knock came from the door before another woman poked her head into the space.

“Dr. Bae? We got a hold of a Mr. Na Jaemin who says he will be right over with his partner to pick up, uh,” she floundered to remember his name.

“Renjun,” Joohyun answered for him before he had even had a chance to open his mouth. She sent him a good natured wink as his stomach began to swirl with nerves.

Would they be angry with him? Of course they would be, he had run off and left them alone with no warning. It must have been scary for them. It would have been terrifying if the tables were turned.

“Hey,” Joohyun called out sharply, getting Renjun’s attention and his eyes on her instead of the floor. “I can see you’re thinking yourself into a hole right now,” she raised her eyebrows accusingly.

“But, can you blame me? I bet they’re _furious_ with me! How careless and stupid could I have been?” He rebutted.

“Do you know they’re furious with you right now?” Her question made Renjun pause.

“I mean, no, but-“

“Then why do you say they’re probably furious?” Renjun couldn’t hold back a small roll of his eyes while Joohyun took another pointed sip of her tea.

“Who wouldn’t be mad at someone who did what I did?” His tone was incredulous. Didn’t she see what he saw?

“I wouldn’t be,” Renjun opened his mouth to call bullshit before she kept talking. “I’m a therapist, I see people day in and day out with severe mental health issues. You would be shocked at what the psyche can cause you to do, and unfortunately, it’s rarely ever your own actual fault. If I was in their situation, I would feel absolute and utter relief. In fact, I probably wouldn’t let you leave my sight all night.”

Renjun’s cheeks blushed at the thought of being right beside or even being held by both Jeno and Jaemin all night. No matter how hard he had been trying to escape them, he knew that physical affection from them would be the best thing he could get in this moment after what had happened.

“So, why not just wait instead of assuming the worst? If you work yourself up and give yourself spiraling anxiety, it doesn’t help anyone. ‘I want to be prepared for the worst case scenario’,” she shook her head. “You will face the worst case scenario if you must, but more likely than not? The situation turns out far better than you thought, and now you’ve caused yourself all this pain for nothing.”

Renjun let himself slump backwards into the couch, his mouth slightly agape and mug gripped tightly in both hands.

She was smart as fuck, and he would tell her as much.

“You’re smart as fuck,” Renjun breathed out in awe causing her tinkling giggle to reach his ears once more.

“Thanks. I know,” she smirked into her tea eyes swimming with mischief and mirth.

Renjun really liked her. He hoped she would stay friends with him.

“Renjun, before you leave, would you consider possibly making an appointment to see me again?” Renjun tilted his head not quite understanding. “To either come back or we could do a video call and talk more. I feel like I might be able to help you finally get back into the world you crave to be in.”

His eyes widened with wonder. Here was this woman, who was practically already his savior, offering him her intelligence to help him deal with his fears. She was oozing confidence and not a single bone in Renjun’s small body made him think that she couldn’t do exactly as she said she wanted to.

“That’d be great!” Renjun smiled brightly, teeth showing, receiving a more demure close lipped smile from Joohyun in return.

Renjun’s feet tapped the floor uncomfortably while his hands gripped either side of the plush couch. He couldn’t hold back the nervous pulse of energy making its way through his body as he waited for Jeno and Jaemin to come back to get him. Would Donghyuck be with them, too?

They were checking in at the desk right now because apparently they needed ID and information to prove that they were... his? Or he was theirs, more so.

Joohyun had mentioned that she would also talk to them about setting up an appointment and figuring out where to go from there, once they had confirmed it was actually them.

He could hear thick thumping against carpet speeding down the hall. Steps coming so fast that it might have been considered running. It wasn’t just one pair of footsteps, but two loud hasty ones and a softer slower set farther away.

Before he was able to even ask himself who it was, a question he already knew the answer to, the door opened quite quickly.

Pink hair appeared first before dark, two pairs of worried eyes, one set red and puffy, stared at him. He swallowed deeply taking in their appearances. Jaemin was absolutely disheveled, evidence of crying written across his face. Jeno was not much better either, his hair obviously windblown and wild.

Their eyes locked onto Renjun at once, and both of them were bounding their way to his side. Jaemin threw his arms around Renjun’s small shoulders, burying his head into his neck while Jeno came at him from the other side, tugging him back slightly.

When he felt Jaemin’s shoulders began to quiver, Renjun couldn’t hold his own tears back. He cried into the top of Jaemin’s wrecked, pink hair while strong hands rubbed across his back behind him, soft kisses being pressed onto his head every so often.

“We th-though w-we lost you, R-Renjun!” Jaemin sobbed into his neck, causing Renjun’s lips to tremble in sadness and guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Renjun softly repeated again and again, nuzzling against the top of Jaemin’s head.

“Don’t be sorry,” Jeno’s voice rang out from behind him. His throat sounded constricted and sore, as if he had been yelling for days.

The three lay entangled in a mess of limbs embracing one another, each one refusing to let go anytime soon. Renjun felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders, a scared frightened weight that was now replaced with warmth and love.

Jaemin finally leaned up from Renjun’s shoulder, grasping his face in his large hands, slender fingers cupping his jaw while his thumbs cleared the steady stream of tears. Jaemin was also still crying, the wells of his eyes continuously overflowing while he searched the Renjun’s eyes, looking to Jeno too.

He came close and began to place soft kisses on both of Renjun’s cheeks on top of his tears where they fell. Every time Renjun sniffled and another tear dropped, Jaemin was there to kiss it away.

Pulling him back into his chest, Jeno cradled Renjun and softly rocked them back and forth, while pressing him closely into his front. His sturdy arms wrapping around Renjun’s middle grasped him tightly, his vice grip signaling that if Renjun had plans of moving anytime soon, he was sorely mistaken.

But Renjun didn’t want to leave Jeno’s arms. In fact, he leaned even farther back into the other’s embrace, eyes barely open only to be able to see Jaemin’s fond smile at the scene before him.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?” Joohyun called from the doorway, her arms crossed and a playful look on her face. “I’m Dr. Bae Joohyun,” she moved towards the couch, extending her hand towards Jaemin first. He grasped her hand securely with both of his, dipping his head low.

“Thank you,” Jaemin wheezed out, vocal chords tensing with more unshed tears. “Thank you so, so much. You have no idea how much this means to us.” Jaemin’s head continued to hang low, expressing his gratitude and respect for her and everything she had done up to that point.

“I may not know exactly how much it means, but I have a feeling I can get a good idea of it.” Her smile was tender and her eyes kind as she looked over the three, still mostly entangled on the couch. Joohyun couldn’t hold in the soft chuckle that left her mouth at the sight.

“What can we do for you, Dr. Bae?” Jeno’s sure voice rang out, “Name it, and we will supply.” Before he had even finished his sentence, Joohyun was already raising her hands and shaking her head no.

“I won’t accept anything from you two,” Jeno tried to speak once more before she interrupted him. “I mean it. The only thing I would hope you do is to let me speak to Renjun once a week. Hopefully starting as soon as possible?”

Renjun felt all three pairs of eyes on him as Jeno’s arms relaxed their unyielding grip. Both Jeno and Jaemin looked to him in question, while Joohyun’s eyes were overflowing with motivating compassion.

“If that’s okay with you guys? She said we could do video calls for now,” he trailed off, becoming shy at the intense eye contact from both of the boys on either side. “I would really like to, I think.” Jeno nodded once, looking back to her.

“Okay, then it’s done. Where do we need to sign up?”

Joohyun let them gather their bearings while she fetched a few papers and showed and explained them to both Jeno and Jaemin, before letting them use her desk to write on and look over just exactly what would be happening by registering Renjun for an appointment.

“I like them. I think they’re good for you,” she spoke, her voice low so that only Renjun could hear her.

Jeno was closely inspecting one page of paper with Jaemin over his shoulder pointing at something and speaking with a serious expression across his face, causing Jeno to nod.

“Yes. I think they might be, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not major in therapy, I am not a trained professional, but I will try my best to portray Renjun's story of healing as realistic as I can! So, yes. Thank you!
> 
> Can you say Irene cottagecore lesbian?  
> 
> 
> also, I really hate when I see author's do this because I always disagree with them, but I talk to you all in the comments so much, so, I feel really insecure about this chapter? it feels like the story is taking huge steps to move along and I just hope you all still enjoy the tail ((this is a pun)) <3


	18. Chapter 18

It didn’t take more than a handful of minutes for Jeno and Jaemin to finish the paperwork they had been handed. Renjun joined them on the couch as they asked Joohyun a few questions, their grasp never leaving him.

They had taken his vitals when he had arrived, which Jeno and Jaemin were glad for. Renjun’s temperature was normal, and physically his body seemed fine other than a few scrapes.

So, it was time to take him home.

Of course, that meant going outside once more.

Jeno said that he and Jaemin had ran here, seeing as the building was only a couple of blocks towards the city from their apartment complex. Jaemin quickly reassured Renjun that they could go back in a car if that would be better for him.

Which Renjun hurriedly agreed to.

Donghyuck was apparently at their apartment with Mark waiting for them to get back. They told him that the other hybrid had almost run himself ragged sprinting up and down street after street and could only be pacified by Mark.

Renjun sat in Joohyun’s room using Jeno’s shoulder as a pillow while Jaemin quickly went back to their complex to fetch his car. He had been passed between Jeno and Jaemin. Not even one moment of letting him out of their reach as soft, adoring touches were placed against his hair, his face, his hands.

Right now, Jeno was raking his fingers absentmindedly through his hair. Pieces of his overgrown bangs would get pushed into his eyesight before swiftly getting brushed back again. His hair was getting rather long; usually he had Mrs. Lee to cut it for him.

“Jeno?” Renjun spoke hesitantly, worried about disturbing the other from the pensive state he was in. Jeno gave a distant hum in acknowledgement. “Would I be able to get a haircut?”

After a few moments, Jeno shifted them so he could see Renjun’s hair and just how floppy and fluffy it had become. He ran his fingers through it once more, his grip coming to settle at the back of Renjun’s head, grasping the hair there lightly.

“Of course. You don’t like it long?”

“Well,” Renjun blew upwards, indicating where his bangs had once again fallen into his line of sight, which caused Jeno to give out a placid chuckle.

“I’ll ask Jaemin if he can contact one of his stylist friends to come over and do it for you soon. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Renjun snuggled back into the other’s shoulder, while arms encased him and shifted him to lightly rest on Jeno’s lap. He couldn’t begin to even try to hold back the soft purrs that reverberated slowly from his body, as he rubbed his cheek into the nook of Jeno’s neck.

They sat like that in silence until Jaemin arrived. The soft even breaths of Jeno and the shuffling of papers the only sounds in the room.

When Jaemin came inside to tell the two that he was parked and ready, Renjun moved so that his arms were wrapped around Jeno’s neck, face buried and eyesight hidden. Lifting the smaller, Jeno secured his hands underneath Renjun’s thighs making sure he was safe.

It was reminiscent to when Jeno had carried him out of the hospital so many moons ago, except this time he was able to keep his head mostly clear and his breathing almost steady. He was still so tired, so clinging to Jeno and being carried around was a blessing in disguise.

Renjun could feel when Jeno maneuvered them both to settle into the backseat. As he kept clinging, his arms began to tighten around the other’s neck, getting as close to him as possible.

Soothing circles were rubbed into his back as the car slowly began to move. Jeno’s strong hands massaging lightly into his lower back, letting him know he was right there and wouldn’t be going anywhere. On its own freewill, Renjun’s tail came up to wrap lightly around Jeno’s wrist.

He stopped his ministrations for a moment, and Renjun inwardly cursed his tail for having a mind of its own, until Jeno started rubbing small circles once more and released a deep sigh. Renjun felt him lean his head against the top of his own for a moment before pulling away to kiss the same spot.

At the press of lips, Renjun’s tail once again embarrassed him, and flicked itself happily while still loosely wrapped around the other’s wrist. He could almost feel Jeno smiling.

Thankfully it didn’t take more than a few minutes for them to arrive back at their complex. Jeno continued his hold on Renjun as he climbed out of their car and began to walk, heading towards what Renjun assumed was the lobby entrance.

When he heard the telltale noise of the automatic doors opening and then closing themselves, Renjun dared to open his eyes and peek over Jeno’s shoulder, his ears beginning to swivel a bit to take in the sounds of his surroundings.

They were in fact in the lobby and Jaemin had just pressed the button to call the elevator to them. Releasing a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, Renjun shifted out of Jeno’s neck, to pull himself back slightly so that he was face to face with Jeno.

Swallowing thickly at their position, Jeno and Renjun’s faces only a few inches from one another while the other had his hands clasped securely around his upper thighs, he made a move to try and climb down from Jeno’s embrace.

As he shifted, Jeno’s hold immediately tightened, pulling him flush against his hard chest.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Jeno interrupted Renjun, stealing his resolve before stepping forward into the elevator behind Jaemin.

Blinking slowly, he pulled back again to place one of his hands against Jeno’s chest, the other still around his neck trying to garner his attention. Jeno was staring at the wall and refusing to acknowledge him.

“Jeno, thank you. But really, I’m okay now,” he whispered, beginning to blush as he caught Jaemin’s eyes on them both.

“Just,” Jeno’s voice came out slightly warped. He had to clear his throat before clenching his jaw, his eyes still not daring to look at Renjun. “Just… let me hold you, okay?”

His teeth seemed to grind as his face became hard, startling Renjun at the serious tone to his voice.

“Okay,” Renjun breathed, leaning himself back onto Jeno’s shoulder and gripping his neck again once more, making sure to lock his ankles behind the other tightly.

When the elevator opened, they traveled the short distance down the hallway, Jaemin taking his key out to insert it into the lock to open their apartment.

Before he could even twist the key though, the door flew open revealing a wide eyed, tight lipped Donghyuck. His eyes met Renjun’s and immediately began to water.

“Injun…” Donghyuck sniffled out as Jeno took him inside before gingerly setting him down.

Arms engulfed him as he was slowly knocked backwards by the force of Donghyuck’s hug. They stood like that for awhile, Jaemin and Jeno moving about somewhere behind them while Renjun stroked one hand over the other’s back comfortingly.

Finally, once Donghyuck pulled back, they held each other at an arm’s length, both embarrassingly watery-eyed.

“I’m sorry-“

“I’m so sorr-“

Both of the boys spoke at the same time, Renjun eyebrows furrowed deeply as he let his arms drop back to his side.

“Why should you be sorry?” He asked incredulously.

“Why? What do you mean why?” Donghyuck’s voice rose in pitch, tinted with anger and frustration. “I _pushed_ you to do it, Renjun! Sure, you had said you wanted to, but I wouldn’t even take no for answer! I made you.” Renjun held up a hand, sighing.

“Hyuck, I decided to do it. I could have said no at any point.”

“But I still egged you on!”

“So? You were just being a good and supportive friend! I should have listened to my body when it was begging me to stop instead of trudging on thinking that somehow that would help.”

“But-“

“Stop,” the steady, loud voice of Jaemin cut both of them off. They turned their heads, and Renjun finally spotted Mark sitting straight up on the edge of their couch. “It is neither of your faults. It’s nobody’s fault, just,” he sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

Renjun’s face fell into a grimace. Everyone was so worked up, so on edge. Even if Jaemin said it wasn’t his fault, how could he not feel responsible? If he was just _normal_ then-

Sighing, he brought one of his hands up to rub at his temple, trying to stop himself from being so hard on himself. Renjun may have only spent a few hours with Dr. Bae, but something she had repeated was that his fears were not his fault.

He would get used to it. Not blaming himself, that is.

He was normal. Ish.

Removing Donghyuck’s hands from his shoulders, Renjun padded across the apartment to Jaemin where he sat on the couch, giving a tight lipped smile to Mark in the process who returned it.

Grabbing either of Jaemin’s wrists, Renjun wiggled down onto the other’s lap and hugged him close. Everyone’s emotions were high, and they were all struggling to calm down from what had happened.

It had been a lot for everyone.

“Hey, Duckie? Why don’t we get going?” Mark called softly to his boyfriend who immediately opened his mouth to protest. “Renjun is okay, Duck, I’m more than positive you can come over again soon,” he paused looking to Jaemin, “Right?” He asked, suddenly nervous he had overstepped before Jeno grinned.

“Of course. Hyuck, you’re always welcome,” Jeno answered.

Renjun turned his head and gave his friend a sad wave goodbye, while he followed his boyfriend out of their apartment hand in hand.

When the door shut behind them, the air grew still. None of them seemed to move a single inch. Even with Renjun on Jaemin’s lap cuddling him, they seemed suspended in silence.

Now that the shock and elation of finding one another again had ebbed away, awkward reality set into them all. Renjun’s mind was swimming with guilt, and he knew he probably shouldn’t be going out of his way to cling so close to them, but fuck it.

Renjun had gone through something traumatic, and if he wanted to hurt his heart a bit in the long run so that he could drench himself in Jeno and Jaemin’s affection for awhile, then that was his own damn choice.

After a couple more minutes of silence, Renjun was unable to hold in a yawn. Jaemin moved his head back, and started to play with Renjun’s bangs, pushing them this way and that.

“I bet you’re tired. Do you want to take a nap?” Parting from cuddles would be hard, but Renjun wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay awake.

Nodding his head, he began to slide himself from Jaemin’s lap, planting his feet on their rug. Wringing his hands, he turned to look at Jeno who already had his eyes on him, tilting his head.

“Junnie?” Renjun turned his head back to Jaemin when he called his name. “Do you want to take your nap in our bed with us?”

“Yes, please.” It didn’t take longer than a second for him to make up his mind. As soon as he registered the question, the confirmation was already past his lips.

Jaemin smiled, standing and stretching before back hugging Renjun and making them walk in tandem that way all the way to their room. Jeno waited for the two to pass, softly giggling at the uncoordinated, waddling sight in front of him.

Once in their room, Renjun found himself in the middle of the other two once again. He had almost forgotten how wonderful it was to be sandwiched between them in the huge comfortable bed. Jeno behind him breathing against his ear and Jaemin in front of him, their hands clasped and skewed across his body.

Falling asleep had never been so easy.

Renjun woke up from a dream where he was pretty sure he was at a sushi buffet to the sound of his own stomach grumbling loudly. It wracked his body so hard, that it almost felt like a purr for a moment.

Squinting one eye open, he felt arms secured around his waist, but saw no one else in the bed with them. Jaemin had obviously already woken up, and Renjun was starving. He wondered if either of them had eaten all day since what had happened earlier that morning.

The curtains in their room were mostly drawn, only a sliver of window visible in the middle showing that it was already dark outside. It was definitely time to eat then.

Turning onto his back causing Jeno’s grip around his chest to loosen slightly, Renjun stretched as far as his arms and legs allowed, the pull and give in his muscles refreshing. He could tell his legs were already getting sore, which must have been from how he had basically done wind sprints earlier.

Soft grunting noises came from Jeno who shifted slightly to blink up at the other, hair disheveled and face confused. Renjun’s lips upturned slightly at just how cute the other looked.

“Where’s Jemem?” His sleepy voice mumbled out, barely enunciating his partner’s name. Renjun couldn’t hold in a giggle.

“I don’t know, I just woke up,” his sentence punctuated with a yawn that Jeno echoed right after.

“Hmph,” the other sighed, letting his head flop back onto his pillow and pulling his loose grip around Renjun taught to bring him back against his chest.

Squeaking softly at the touch, Renjun froze up, his body going still while Jeno buried his nose against his neck and breathed out slowly.

Okay, he needed to wake Jeno up, like, right now.

“Uh, Jeno?”

“Renjun,” Jeno sighed out, his hands coming to grip either side of his ribs instead of wrapping themselves around him. Tugging Renjun, he was able to situate him so that they now faced each other.

Both of their cheeks were squished into pillows as they stared at one another. Renjun could barely breathe at the closeness and intimacy, but Jeno’s face was open as he tried to read the other’s expressions eyes darting back and forth between his own.

“Renjun,” he repeated.

“Yes?” swallowing nervously, Renjun could feel his hands sweat where he was awkwardly grasping the comforter on top of them. Jeno’s eyebrows began to furrow before his gaze drifted over his lips, before returning to his eyes.

“Why will you kiss Jaemin, but not me?”

TV static was all that he could hear.

We’re sorry, but your TV provider, Huang Renjun Inc., is currently not working. Please give your local store location a call at 1-(800)-you-are-fucked in order to try and reconnect to the signal. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Renjun’s brain had shut off as he blinked again and again staring into Jeno’s open and imploring eyes.

“Come again?” He asked, tone coming out much louder than he meant to, making Jeno flinch slightly.

“It’s just, when Jaemin was dealing with that jerk? You comforted him and gave him a kiss. I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, it’s stupid, I don’t know why I even brought it up,” he forced a laugh, trying to play it off, as he turned over onto his back letting his hands fall from Renjun’s waist.

Maybe it was the stress of the day, maybe it was the way they had reacted when they found him, or maybe it was because Renjun had had enough of holding back his affection for the two, but he gently leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jeno’s soft cheek. Almost exactly where he had placed Jaemin’s as well.

“I-I gave Jaemin a kiss, because I know he, you know, he likes that stuff. Physical affection, I didn’t know you did too,” his heart stammering in his chest, Renjun’s words came out breathy and small.

Turning his head to face Renjun once more, Jeno’s pink dusted face was overwhelmed by the bright beam of his eye smile.

Not even a second later, the door to the bedroom opened to the sight of Jaemin carrying a wooden tray full of bowls and dishes. It looked heavy, but he was balancing it perfectly as he slowly paced himself over to their bed.

“I guess those two years as a waiter paid off, huh?” He joked, smirking brightly.

Jeno stood and helped Jaemin adjust the tray and bring it to Renjun, who when he had tried to help, was told not to move. So sitting still, he watched the two boys maneuver the tray before Jaemin ran back downstairs to apparently fetch another one.

When he came back up and they had set the second one down, Renjun couldn’t hold the low growl of his stomach from calling out loudly. The food looked delicious.

Jaemin laughed at the sound before he picked up chopsticks and handed them to Renjun first and then Jeno.

“I woke up earlier than you both and we haven’t eaten much today, so I figured I’d whip something simple up,” Jaemin supplied.

Jeno leaned across Renjun and Jaemin met him in the middle to connect their lips briefly before parting. Right in front of his face.

When heat started to spread across his cheeks, Renjun rushed out a thank you for the food, and immediately began to dig in, leaning down so he didn’t have to see either of them.

At some point, Jeno grabbed the TV remote from their bedside table and flicked the screen on that was situated on the wall across from the bed. They finished their food while they watched some reruns of _Happy Together_ that were on.

It felt so domestic that Renjun had to shut his thoughts down again and again of edging that way. He just wanted to be happy and enjoy the cuddles from the both of them and the intimacy that he knew would stop once they felt less protective.

He didn’t need his brain to ruin these few precious moments with the two for him.

After they ate, Renjun had to physically beg to help with the dishes as both Jeno and Jaemin were trying to keep him confined to bed. He ended up winning after what was truly only a slight struggle.

Jeno and he cleaned up since Jaemin had cooked before they all proceeded to get ready for bed. Renjun agreed to sleep the whole night in their bed with them, so it wasn’t long until he was snuggled up in his giant nightshirt between the two once more.

“Injunnie?” Jaemin called to him, while Renjun was wiggling his toes in the soft sheets. “You know how glad we are that you’re home safe, right?” Renjun’s eyes blinked, disbelieving.

“You both know how glad _I am_ that I’m back with you two, right?” He countered, shifting back to sit against the headboard so that he could see both of them easier.

“Just, you know how much we care about you? Right?” Jeno took over this time, petting Renjun’s ear lightly who couldn’t resist but to lean into the touch.

“I-I think I do? I can tell that you both care. You’re both very, very kind to me and make me laugh and laugh at my jokes and, yeah. It’s a bit weird to say out loud, but yes I know you care for me,” Renjun confirmed, pushing his head harder against Jeno’s hand, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Renjun. You mean so much to us, I’m sorry if we weren’t able to communicate just how much. But this whole thing,” Jeno had started, dropping his hand from Renjun’s head to have his undivided attention. Jeno gestured awkwardly, “all of today? We want to make it clear that you are a part of our family. Not just a _friend_ or whatever. It’s us three now. Not just Jeno and Jaemin, okay? It’s us three.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

“Is that okay?” Jaemin asked, causing Renjun to shift his attention to the pink haired boy.

Was that okay? Of course it was okay! He had a _family_ now. He had people who would love and support him for the rest of his life. At least that’s what family meant to Renjun.

He ignored the acid threatening to come up his throat at the thought now that he had officially confirmed that they saw him as more of a child, since he was their family, but that wasn’t enough to dull his happiness.

They were his family.

“I would really like that, please,” Renjun whispered, as he averted his gaze to the sheets in his lap where his hands were resting. Gentle fingers turned his head to the left to look back at Jaemin.

“You know what we mean, right?” Blinking a few times, Renjun couldn’t help but to be horribly embarrassed. Was he really about to have to confirm that he was seen as the little kid between the two? What an absolutely morbid thought.

A frown pulled down his features before he could get his emotions under control which prompted a raised eyebrow from the other.

“Do you not?”

“Uh,” Renjun’s cheeks heated up as he chewed the inside of his mouth, reluctant to admit it. “Yeah, I think so. I guess,” he sighed, looking back to the covers kneading them between his hands distractedly.

“Do you not want to be?” Jeno’s voice was quiet next to him, an apprehensive tone to his words.

“What? No! I want to be a part of your family, for sure! Yeah. I’ve always wanted a family, so,” Renjun shrugged. “Yeah. I’d like to care for both of you, too.”

A few beats of silence stretched across them, taught like violin strings. Renjun wasn’t sure why there was so much strange tension in the air, but he was only a few moments away from starting to fidget uncomfortably.

He could tell that Jeno and Jaemin were looking at each other over where Renjun had bent his head to stare intently at the covers.

A sigh resounded through the air, finally dropping a pin into the smooth surface of the silence.

“You were bad enough, Jeno. I don’t want to do this again, do I have to?”

Renjun looked up and glanced at Jaemin confusedly, before looking over to Jeno who had his eyes on his partner. Trepidation was apparent on his face and in the way he held his body.

“Just… whatever, you know I’m not good at these things!”

“Fine,” Jaemin huffed out. Renjun continued to glance between the two of them back and forth completely and utterly lost. In fact it almost felt like he was back in Korea for the first time, not knowing the language or the culture whatsoever.

What the hell was he missing?

“Don’t scare him!” Jeno rushed out before Renjun felt the bed move slightly as Jaemin shifted himself.

Jaemin grasped Renjun’s shoulder, his other hand coming up to cup his cheek and he turned his face to his eyes. His eyes held a fire, a passion that Renjun would sometimes catch in his gaze when he spoke of his work or of Jeno.

His legs shifted, before all of a sudden Jaemin was over Renjun’s lap, casually straddling him with hands still on his shoulder and cheek respectively.

Renjun’s brain began to shut down as his eyes glossed over. He must still be taking a nap with them and this was his dream. Oh god, if he was having a sexy dream that meant he’d wake up with a boner and he was between his two crushes and how embarrassing would that be-

Gentle pats against his cheek, brought Renjun’s eyes back up to Jaemin.

“I’m sorry to be so forward, but it seems as if you’re just as thick headed as everyone else that I know is.”

“Wha..” Renjun’s mouth hung open, everything in his mind whirling trying to put two and two together.

Okay. They were family. But friends? But not friends.

Everyone Jaemin knows is... what had he said? Jeno, Donghyuck, Mark, Jisung, Doyoung, this manager Taeyong are thick headed?

Wait, Renjun is thick headed?

“Baby,” Jaemin’s voice grew soft, making Renjun’s cheeks light up, “ _we like you_.”

Jaemin stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. As if he had just told Renjun that the sky is blue and grass is green.

“I like you both, too. I told you I care about you, I-“ Jaemin groaned, letting his head fall forward onto Renjun’s shoulder.

“Hey, Nana, be nice,” Jeno murmured next to him concernedly.

“I am! Okay. Ugh. Renjun!” Jaemin gripped both of the hybrid’s shoulders hard, his gaze inescapable.

“Jeno and I, me and Jeno, us two right here?” He asked waiting until Renjun nodded to confirm, “we _LIKE_ you. We want you to be a part of our family because we _like,_ like you.”

Does not compute.

“I like you the way I like Jeno, Renjun.”

Huh, what a great dream.

Renjun relaxed backwards, fully convinced that he was actually dreaming now. It was a very realistic dream he must say, but he wasn’t naive enough to expect either of them to ever actually return his feelings. Maybe, he could just enjoy this for awhile and pretend.

“Man, why aren’t all my dreams like this?” Renjun mumbled happily.

Jaemin blinked big eyes at him before looking over to Jeno who couldn’t hold in a snort. Jaemin climbed off of his lap to sit by Jeno’s side now making Renjun pout.

Why was Jaemin getting off his lap? Was his dream about to get bad?

Jeno cupped the hybrid’s face, his cheeks puffing up slightly at the touch. They stared into each other’s eyes before he heard a deep exhale of breath from Jeno and he began to scoot forward.

He was coming closer to Renjun, in fact probably the closest he’s ever been. Oh wow, oh wait, was he about to kiss him?

Before Renjun had time to fully register it, the tip of Jeno’s nose brushed against his own and warm minty breath played across his lips only for a moment before they came into contact.

Lips meeting lips in the most gentle hello.

They lingered for a second, before Jeno pulled back to turn his head and slot against his lips the other way, even softer than before. Just a brushing of their mouths together.

At some point, Renjun’s hand had come up to hang onto Jeno’s wrist and his eyes had fluttered closed. He could feel Jeno breathing through his nose as it tickled its way across his upper lip. Too soon, he leaned back taking Renjun’s reaction in.

It was dark.

Why was it dark. What.

“Renjun?”

Oh his eyes were closed.

Opening his eyes, he could feel his heartbeat fluttering fast, his breath increasing slightly. He stared into Jeno’s concerned but adoring face before blinking slowly. Okay, maybe he wasn’t dreaming.

“But you’re,” Renjun whispered, eyes flicking over to Jaemin as his poor, poor brain still tried its hardest to fully grasp everything happening.

“But I’m?” Jaemin smirked as Jeno lowered his hands from Renjun’s face before Jaemin placed his arm next to Renjun’s waist so he could lean over the smaller.

When Jaemin’s lips came into contact with his this time, he was slightly more aware of what was happening. Jaemin’s kiss was pressed moderately harder against his lips than Jeno’s had been, making Renjun pout his lips slightly in return.

Moving his lips so slowly, Renjun didn’t have to worry to keep up, Jaemin began to really kiss him. It was still kind in its approach, but it was obvious that Jaemin was a bit more impatient than Jeno had been.

His hand wrapped around the back of Renjun’s neck, pulling his face closer while he leaned farther over him almost to the point where Renjun was going to fall back onto the bed. The presence of the other was heady and intense, his brain swirling with emotion.

When Jaemin took Renjun’s lip between his, not even biting, just pulling it the smallest amount causing it to barely move, he sucked in a very deep breath.

Of course their lips on his was an amazing, insane experience, but when Jaemin had done that, his lip had gotten wet a little bit and that was… that was new. It was all new, but-

“Okay, Jaem. I said not to scare him,” Jeno’s warning but kind voice broke their stupor.

Leaning back, Jaemin smirked at Renjun’s flushed appearance, his shirt sliding slightly over his collarbones, only proving how flustered he had gotten. His skin everywhere was bright pink, and under the comforter his tail was flicking itself languidly in excitement.

Another part of him was excited as well.

“Do you understand now, Injunnie?” Jaemin asked, wrapping his arms around his partner who looked at him expectantly.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,”

_uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

“Uhhmmmmmmmmm, yeah?” Renjun blinked, his mouth agape before both the other two broke out into fruitful laughter at his stupefied expression.

“You are so cute,” Jeno half cooed half lamented. “Was that okay?”

“You mean the-the kisses?” Renjun whispered the last word as if saying it alone would send him to hell.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, I mean, yeah they were,” Renjun shrugged, “good. I guess.” Jaemin’s eyebrows arched.

“Is that a challenge, Huang Renjun?” He began to crawl towards him on the bed as Renjun’s eyes popped open.

“What? No! No! It was great! I really like you both! Like, a lot!” He screamed out his confession, hands up protecting himself from the encroaching of Jaemin.

“Well, Jeno, I guess all we have to do is pretend we’ll kiss him more for him to confess his feelings.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing?” Jeno pouted, confused as Jaemin shrugged.

Pink hair flew, before Renjun was tackled onto the bed and rolled sideways a few times. Snuggling into Renjun’s hair, Jaemin began peppering kisses all across his forehead and cheeks before dipping down to place one small one on his lips causing Renjun to shriek and wiggle away under the covers.

“Do you want to talk more about this all, Injun?” Jeno asked, as he playfully guarded a much too happy Jaemin from Renjun.

“Can… Can we just talk about it tomorrow? I’m a bit overwhelmed.”

“Of course, of course,” Jaemin rushed out, his tone much softer now. “I didn’t mean to push too far. I’m so sorry, I just got so excited and-“ Renjun popped his head out from underneath the comforter the beginnings of a smile on his lips.

“It’s okay, Nana. I liked it, too.” Jaemin stared at the grinning boy in silence before cooing loudly and tried to jump him once more.

“Please call me Nana more? Please, please, please, please-“

“Jaemin, get off!”

“No, call me Nana!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^3^
> 
> [curious cat~](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	19. Chapter 19

So.

It hadn't been a dream.

That much was obvious when Renjun blinked his eyes awake and immediately received a soft peck from Jaemin on his cheek before he had even had a second to process where he was.

Renjun squeaked out, still not used to the physical affection. He probably never would be used to it, honestly. They knew they were his first kisses, right?

Trying to squirm away from Jaemin’s smothering cuddles, Renjun backed into a softly laughing Jeno, his deep giggle vibrating throughout his chest.

“Welcome to my world, Renjun,” he mumbled into the hybrid’s ear, pressing his own good morning kiss to the side of his head affectionately.

Wow. This was a lot.

It was nice, but a lot.

After reassuring the two that he would speak to them about everything and feelings and emotions later, he scrambled from the confines of their bed in order to retreat to his own room and call Donghyuck. He needed the other’s advice _right now_.

Pacing back and forth, Renjun was getting more and more worked up as the phone continued to ring and ring. When Donghyuck finally picked up, he didn’t even give his friend enough time to say hello.

“They like me. Donghyuck, they like me.” A pause of silence and a soft groan came from the other side.

“Huh?” Renjun pulled his phone back to check the time, noticing that it was before eight am.

Oops.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No shit,” Donghyuck’s voice came out rough and thick with sleep.

“Well, I’m not sorry. Hyuck, they said they fucking _like me!_ ” A yawn resounded from the other side before Donghyuck granted him a response.

“Jeno and Jaemin?”

“Yes,” Renjun breathed out incredulously. “What the hell do I do?”

“Wait, how did it happen?”

Renjun recounted the still vaguely unclear confession he received and how embarrassingly long it had taken him to realize it had actually been happening. That it was real and not a dream.

“Wait, _they kissed you?_ ” He called loudly and surprised.

“Yes?”

“Oh my god, that’s your first kiss right? Oh my god, wait that’s so cute. Oh my fucking god we can go on double dates now, or, triple dates? How does this work… double and a half dates?-“

“Hyuck! I’m very overwhelmed and I don’t know how to process this at all!”

He plopped himself down onto his bed and rolled over to press his face into the pillows piled up near the headboard. This situation had only ever played itself out in his wildest fantasies, and now that he had it, he had no clue how to process it or move forward with it all.

This was his first everything.

First crush, first relationship(?), first kiss, first… date?

Would they go on dates? _How_ _could_ they go on dates?

Maybe he should call Joohyun sooner rather than later. She probably would have the perfect advice for this situation.

“Okay. Well you still like them, right?” Renjun whined, burying his face even more.

“Yes, so much,” his voice came out small and desperate.

“Okaaaaay, then just let them know. They obviously care about you, so just tell them that you have no clue what to do and you’re really nervous about it all?”

Renjun hmphed in response. Of course, it was the most obvious and straight forward solution, but god he was scared. Scared of messing something up, scared of overstepping a boundary.

“Well, I told them that I like them… it’s just the everything else that comes along with it.”

His firsts would be with two people and not one person. Two people he _really_ liked.

Did he need to court them?

Should he be buying them gifts?

Jeno and Jaemin had bought so many things for Renjun and had been spoiling him from the moment he arrived in their household. Wow, Renjun was already behind, and it had only been hours since they confessed. He needed to find a way to make his own money so he could spoil them in return.

Isn’t that what people in relationships did?

“Hey, Hyuck?”

“Hm?”

“You wouldn’t happen to know anyone who wanted any professional portraits or paintings done, would you?”

They all sat around their table for breakfast, soft smiles unable to wipe themselves from Jeno and Jaemin’s faces while Renjun tried not to sweat through his shirt in nervousness. Before Renjun could scatter off to do the dishes, Jeno cleared his throat.

“So, Injun. Can we talk about things now?” Renjun’s mouth ran dry as he picked up his glass of water, trying to seem casual and like his hands absolutely were not shaking. Not one bit.

“Injunnie, you okay?” Jaemin asked, his eyes open and kind with the smallest of grins stretched on his lips.

“Hhhhhhmmm,” Renjun wheezed out, unsure where to start, “I’m really nervous.”

“Aw, baby, don’t be nervous! Why are you nervous?” Jaemin pouted, eyebrows dipping down sadly.

“Because I’ve never done this? I’ve never done, uh, _anything_ like this. Not even close. Before coming here I’m pretty sure I had never even had my hand held?” He cleared his throat awkwardly, poking the remaining rice on his plate around with his chopsticks. “So, I just really have no clue what I’m doing.”

Shrugging dismissively, Renjun refused to bring his head up. Everything about these two put him on edge.

“Just let us show you, Renjun,” Jeno said tenderly, prompting Renjun to tear his eyes away from the table. “Don’t worry about doing things right or wrong or whatever,” he shrugged, “Just let us show you what it’s like to be in a relationship.”

Oh, okay. So yeah, definitely a relationship then?

“Are we gonna go on dates?” Renjun’s eyes widened cutely, half from fear and half from excitement. Jaemin smiled broadly at his expression.

“If you want to go on dates, we will absolutely go on dates, you cutie pie you,” he reached over to pinch Renjun’s cheek, who quickly dodged before poking Jaemin roughly in the side where he knew he was ticklish.

Which, of course, caused the two to start tumbling around on the floor, both trying to gain the upper hand in the tickle fight while Jeno looked on adoringly. This time Renjun won, having an advantage since Jaemin had eaten far too much food for breakfast making him a little sluggish.

As he sat on the other’s back, squashing Jaemin’s face into the rug, Renjun began to brag and looked to Jeno to confirm he had indeed won.

“See, not much has to change, Junnie,” Jeno chuckled out after agreeing that Renjun won this round. A blush tinted his cheeks while he thought about what Jeno said. 

“Yeah, we just get to kiss each other now,” Jaemin practically purred out, grabbing onto Renjun who had finally let him go. He grabbed the shocked hybrid and leisurely kissed his tensed lips.

His hand cupped his jaw, as he tilted his head brushing their noses softly together before pulling back and waiting for the smaller to open his clenched shut eyes.

“And of course, there’s other fun things to do, too,” he punctuated with a wink, once he had withdrawn from Renjun.

… _other… fun things._

Renjun’s socks slipped on the wooden floor as he stood quickly, trying to run away from Jaemin’s implications.

“Jaem, you have _got_ to stop scaring him,” Jeno sighed before turning his gaze to a very flustered Renjun. “We won’t do anything that you don’t want to do. We promise, Jaemin is just overeager and a mess.”

“I’m not a mess!” Jeno scoffed good naturedly at that.

“You are a constant horny mess. Don’t even try to pretend you aren’t.”

Jaemin whined at that, crawling towards Jeno before plopping his head in his partner’s lap begging him to take it back and that he had hurt his feelings.

Staring at the scene before him, Renjun felt mildly less overwhelmed. He understood why the two worked so well together. Jaemin pushed Jeno, his energy fueling them, while Jeno’s rational and kind mind was able to pull them back when need be.

Renjun would find some way to fit between them. Hopefully, they would be patient with him while he learned how to.

Jeno had spent the next morning showing Renjun what website to go to and how to control the camera for the computer in his office for his appointment with Dr. Bae. They had offered to buy Renjun his own laptop, but he was already struggling with wanting to give them gifts as well, so he quickly denied. Besides, he could just have his appointments on the weekends when Jeno didn’t have to use the office.

So now, Renjun was sat and waiting for Joohyun to log on. He could see himself in a little window on the side of the screen, and he couldn’t stop staring at it, making sure his hair looked okay.

He really needed that haircut.

Suddenly, the screen grayed for a second before a picture of Joohyun sitting behind the desk that he recognized from her office popped up. She had a cup of tea already pressed to her lips, before lowering it and sending him a pretty, close-lipped smile.

“Hello, Renjun.”

“Hi, Joohyun! I have so much I want to talk to you about,” he spoke softly, already overwhelmed, while he shot his eyes to the closed office door worried that the other two might be able to hear him.

Her soft laughter trickled in from the computer speakers before she sat her cup of tea down and shifted in her desk slightly.

“Alright, sounds great. Is it okay if I ask you a couple more questions first? There’s still a bit about you I’d like to know.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

Their appointment was set to be an hour long session, and Renjun was pretty sure he spent more than half of it talking about the dynamics between him, Jeno, and Jaemin and how intimidated he was of their relationship and his inexperience with anything similar.

Needless to say, Joohyun had a million brilliant things to suggest and plenty of brilliant advice to give to Renjun. He had ended up stealing some of the sticky notes on Jeno’s desk to write some of the things she had said down.

Communication, naturally, was the most important thing in any relationship and any situation for that matter. She advised that he always wait until all three of them could be present when they had important discussions. And that when it came down to it, Renjun would make sure he didn’t push himself to do more than he could handle, both emotionally and physically.

He had admitted to doing just that before he had met Joohyun, that fated day outside. Renjun couldn’t help but to shiver at the thought.

She reminded him that at least he gathered something good out of the horrible situation.

“Personally, I believe the saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ is ridiculous,” she stated. “It puts the blame of things onto the universe and allows people to become complacent in their actions. It’s much healthier to look at it from the perspective of ‘okay, this happened, what are the positives I can take from this situation? What are the lessons I can take from this?’”

Renjun nodded, absorbing each word like a sponge.

“If you believe that no matter what you do the universe will do what it wants anyways, then it opens doors for you to act in more immature ways. For example: Someone may see it as pointless to try and better themselves, waiting for destiny or fate, whatever you may call it, to take over for them. ‘Why bother pushing myself to do what’s right, or to improve myself if the universe will just take hold and do whatever it will anyways?’” She tsked lowly, shaking her head.

“It causes the person to wait for life to happen to them rather than going out and living. There’s quite a big difference. Does that make sense?”

Renjun’s head tried to wrap itself around the insightful speech she had given him. It made sense when you thought about it. If Renjun looked at his fear of the outside as ‘well I was made to fear the outside for a reason’, that it was some sort of given he was to be this way, he would always stay stagnant in his growth.

“Huh. Yeah, that makes sense I think.”

“The more you know,” she tilted her head, softly smirking. “Are you able to do the same time next week, Renjun?”

“Uh, I’ll have to ask Jeno? Can I have him email you?” She nodded before pausing, and clicking something on her computer.

“Do you have no interest in creating your own email account?” Renjun quirked his head to the side, his tail swishing back and forth slowly.

“I’ve never thought about it.”

“Well, it’s a good way to keep contact with people that you’re not close enough with to text or call. It also is good for professional things,” she quirked an eyebrow. “Possibly a way to contact potential art buyers?” Joohyun said knowingly. Renjun’s mouth popped open.

“I swear, you are the smartest person in the world. You make me feel like I have the brain of an ant,” she laughed loudly at that.

“Give yourself some credit, you’re _very_ smart Renjun. But maybe ask Jeno or Jaemin if they could help you sometime this week to set up your own account?”

He nodded in agreement before they bid one another goodbye. Not able to wipe the smile off of his face, Renjun spun in Jeno’s chair a few times, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Things seemed to make more and more sense to him every time he spoke to Joohyun, and it was all still so exciting. If they’d only met twice, he couldn’t imagine where he might be in a month. Or even a year.

He’d probably be way smarter than Donghyuck. The idea of holding his knowledge over his friend’s head was extremely appealing.

Renjun hadn’t slept in Jeno or Jaemin’s bed since the day he had had his panic attack outside. It’s not that they hadn’t asked him, he was just still a bit nervous. And, he also didn’t trust himself to not do something stupid if he was that close to them every night.

Especially since they did not sleep with shirts on.

They were very, _very_ attractive.

He had, however, been busy painting a portrait of someone’s fluffy Pomeranian the better part of the week. Donghyuck had showed a picture of the portrait Renjun had done of Jeno and Jaemin to one of Mark’s producer friends and she had immediately asked for Renjun’s contact information.

So, he sent Donghyuck his brand new email address.

Renjun felt very powerful when he received emails for some reason. Like he was getting secret messages that only he could know.

It was a bit more fun than he suspected it was supposed to be.

So now while he was outside on their balcony on a suspiciously pleasant day, the winter chill absent, adding detail to the small dog’s fluffy ears, Jeno was sat in the chair next to him on his laptop with his hand resting on Renjun’s small thigh.

He tried to not think about how the span of Jeno’s hand could engulf the whole width of his leg, because that would just lead his mind down a hole he wasn’t willing to explore right now.

The only development in their relationship so far had been more casually intimate touches just like this. Cuddling and hugging was more or less the same, but Renjun’s heart stuttered whenever he realized he could just reach out and grab Jaemin’s hand, or kiss Jeno on the cheek if he felt like it.

And he felt like it a lot.

So, he had realized he could do these kinds of things, but was he actually doing them?

No.

That was something he was still working on.

Anytime there were physical touches like this, it was always initiated by Jeno or Jaemin, not by Renjun. He was still struggling to shake the image and the thought that had been hammered into his head that _they were a couple_. That he shouldn’t flirt or get too close to either of them since it was Jeno and Jaemin, not Renjun. Jeno and Jaemin.

He knew that wasn’t technically the case now, but… he was on a learning curve, okay?

Jeno’s hand squeezed his thigh lightly when Renjun sighed and began to clean his brushes, finally done with the painting of the puppy.

“It looks great, Injunnie!” Renjun preened at the praise, trying to seem nonchalant and failing.

“Ah, really? Thank you,” he couldn’t hold back a smile at the compliment.

Jeno began running his hand lightly up and down Renjun’s thigh, causing him to try and pretend that he was fine and totally not on the verge of freaking out. He stood to get his materials together, causing Jeno’s hand to let go of him.

Packing up his brushes and moving the easel to let the canvas dry on the patio in the nice weather, Renjun began to hum to himself. Over the past week the weather really had begun to start melting away from winter.

Renjun loved the winter months, but it would be easier to spend more time on his paintings if the weather continued to turn warmer. Assuming he was able to get more commissions that is.

Sneaking around Jeno’s chair, he went to the supply closet and began to arrange his things wondering what he should do for the rest of the day. Maybe he could ask Donghyuck if he wanted to drop by before dinner and hang out, maybe play some games.

When he came back out onto the patio, Jeno had finished whatever work he had to do too and had set his laptop on his chair. Renjun smiled softly, shutting the door behind him before opening his mouth to ask the other if maybe he could invite Donghyuck over.

Jeno stepped into his space and gently placed his hands on Renjun’s waist, shocking the smaller into gasping and pressing his lips tightly together before shuffling backwards against the closed door.

The other followed Renjun’s steps backwards, continuing to breach his personal bubble. Jeno’s thumbs began to trace small circles on his hips, his eyes shifting between Renjun’s.

“Is this okay?” Jeno asked, smile small and eyes imploring. Unfortunately Renjun’s brain was fried and currently not processing quite exactly what was going, almost positive that he had had a wet dream once that started just like this.

“Renjun?” Jeno asked again, taking a couple steps back from him, not wanting to overwhelm or push himself onto Renjun.

“Sorry,” Renjun swallowed. Jeno’s eyes followed the movement, before his gaze shot back up to his eyes. “I’m just still getting used to it all,” he exhaled, enraptured by Jeno’s confidence.

However, Jeno took that as a no, so he dropped his hands and began to back away, eyes smiling.

“It’s completely fine, Injun. That’s why I asked! The last thing I would want to do is to overstep.” When he began to turn to pick his laptop up, Renjun shot his hand out and grabbed Jeno’s closest wrist. Arching an eyebrow curiously, Jeno looked back to the other, prompting him to speak.

“I didn’t mean that I wanted it to stop, I’m just,” his breath came out shaky, “I’m just nervous and not sure what to do.”

Jeno stepped back close to Renjun again, his hands going back to their place on his sides. Leaning down Jeno kissed the other’s cheek tenderly and quirked his head to the side.

“I told you to let us show you. You don’t have to worry about doing something wrong, okay? As long as you let us know how you’re feeling. And, we’ll let you know where we’re at too,” his hand came up to gently cradle Renjun’s cheek. Leaning into the touch, a tiny smile spread across his lips.

“Okay. I’ll try.”

Smiling bright Jeno leaned down and briefly pressed his lips to Renjun’s. His hand came up and rested itself on the hand Jeno had placed on Renjun’s face. Leaning his head the smallest bit to the side, Renjun swallowed, his lips closed and his body stiff.

He was not a good kisser. That much was obvious.

Renjun had warned them time and time again that he had no clue what he was doing, so he hoped Jeno would realize that that also meant the physical things not just the emotions too. They were very patient with him, Renjun realized as Jeno began to pull back and peppered his lips with pecks making him giggle.

It was sweet and soft and Renjun couldn’t help his body from responding happily at the soft touch. His tail high in the air and the softest of purrs echoing through his torso.

Jeno dipped back in, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, before ducking down to press their lips together once more. This time, Jeno began to move his lips the slightest amount. They parted minutely, pressing harder, before he would close them again in a small pucker.

Renjun’s breath stuttered and he leaned back to gulp deeply, his head swimming and on edge unsure how to respond. Jeno leaned even farther in as Renjun’s head now pressed up against the door.

The grip on his waist went from gentle to harsh, grounding Renjun in place. Jeno began to move his lips the same way again, and this time Renjun tried to follow. After a few seconds, he started to get the hang of it.

He could feel his heartbeat on his lips, his eyelids fluttering at the sensation of the kiss.

The ones before this had hardly been more than pecks, and they were lovely!

But this?

Yeah, he got the hype on why people kissed other people.

Jeno’s hand slipped from his cheek to hold the back of his head as he took another step forward, pressing their chests together, moving his lips faster against Renjun’s.

Trying not to gasp, Renjun reveled in the feeling. Being held by Jeno’s strong hands; his body caging him against the door so that the only thing he could feel was him.

Renjun jumped, bumping their noses together slightly, when the balcony door opened to a smirking Jaemin who was taking the scene in. Jeno leaned his head back, refusing to step any farther away or let his grip on the other go.

Jaemin cocked his hip to the side, and placed a hand on it looking smug. His eyes raked up and down Renjun’s small body pressed against his partner’s; taking in how flushed and heated he was just from the small amount of kissing.

He couldn’t hold himself back from panting, closing his lips to lessen the embarrassment, but his heaving chest giving him away.

“By all means, don’t stop because of me. I was rather enjoying myself, actually,” he crossed his arms and sent the other two a wink.

Renjun blinked twice before ducking down and wiggling his way out of Jeno’s arms. He made to run past Jaemin, but was stopped when the other’s hand shot out to block the doorway.

Leaning close to Renjun’s ear, he whispered softly, teasing.

“Need some help with that?” Jaemin leaned back, shooting a very purposeful look down to where Renjun may or may not have been hard over just a bit of kissing.

He could feel his whole body turning red as he ducked under Jaemin’s arm and scurried to his room.

That night, for the first time in over three months, he heard Jeno and Jaemin having sex.

They were _loud_.

Either they hadn’t slept together since he had moved in, or they were being extra loud on purpose.

He also now had an answer to a question that had occasionally passed through his mind from time to time…

Specifically in the mornings, when he was alone, and during his heat.

The sound of skin against skin wasn’t what was loud. In fact it was a bit hard to hear. Their bed was obviously knocking against the wall, however, and Jaemin was vocal.

Very vocal.

“Fuck! Jeno, fuck, oh my god you feel so good,” he whined out.

Renjun covered his eyes, a blush coating his cheeks. It would be a lie to say that he hadn’t figured that Jaemin was the ‘bottom’ so to speak, but he had had his doubts. Jaemin was just so forward so he thought…

Wait.

How would he fit into their dynamic if he were to join them-?

His thought was cut off by an extra loud moan from Jaemin and soft expletives from Jeno.

Jeno sounded absolutely feral and Renjun couldn’t help himself from sucking in a shaky breath as his body responded, getting hard fast. The sounds had honestly come out of nowhere, as if they had just jumped straight into it, no foreplay or anything.

Renjun had been trying to ignore them for several minutes now, but his aching erection that was pressed against his inner thigh was keening for his attention.

Letting out a sigh of resignation, Renjun reached to timidly pull the elastic of his underwear down so that he was exposed to himself. He let a tentative hand rest on top of himself, wondering if this was crossing some kind of boundary.

Was this even okay?

A sharp slap and a keening noise from Jaemin caused his length to twitch underneath his hand, and he couldn’t hold back anymore.

He grabbed himself at the base and set a slow rhythm, pulling his hand from the bottom to the top, using his thumb to add extra pressure against the head before moving his hand back down again.

Straining his ears, Renjun tried to match his rhythm to the soft noises of skin slapping, matching whatever pace they had set for themselves. It was much faster than how Renjun would usually dare to go, always being mildly apprehensive when it came to these kinds of things.

So, he wasn’t surprised when soft puffs of air were punched from his lungs every time he reached the base of his dick, accompanied by the occasional small whine.

The sounds had changed to something different and Renjun couldn’t quite tell what they were doing, so he took the time to circle his hand, tightening over the head of his cock, squeezing and rubbing his thumb over the top again and again, spreading the wetness from precum where he was most sensitive.

Light gasps of air, turned to quiet whines at every pass of his thumb against himself, and when he heard Jeno’s thrusting pick up once again, he began to stroke himself fully once more.

Renjun’s knees bent up, pressing his feet flat to the bed as his toes curled. He couldn’t help his thighs from quivering every so often and his body squirmed slightly under his own touch when they increased the pace of which they were fucking.

It was much more than he was used to, the sounds, the speed at which he was touching himself, so Renjun wasn’t surprised when his muscles clenched, his abdomen stiffening up. His butt rose slightly from the bed as he struggled to continue to touch himself and not chicken out and pull his hand away from the intense pleasure.

A few moments later, he unclenched and released, his whole lower half seeming to pulsate while he came upwards all over his stomach.

Catching his breath, he looked down to see that some of it pooled in his belly button, and he pouted at the sight before leaning his head back again.

Pulling his shirt off, he wiped himself down, before throwing it into his dirty clothes hamper and pulling his briefs back up.

The sounds of Jeno and Jaemin continued on, which didn’t surprise Renjun. It hadn’t taken much more than a handful of minutes for him to cum, and he wondered how much longer they would be going at it and if he was going to have to worry about getting hard again.

Maybe he should have agreed to sleep in their bed with them tonight.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones a long one
> 
> oops~

_Nothing happened. Don’t act weird. They don’t know you heard them. It’s not a big deal. Everything is fine and you most definitely didn’t jack off to the sounds of your two crushes that also are crushing on you back having sex._

_You’re not suspicious. It’s all-_

“Morning, Injunnie!” Jaemin called as he came down the stairs, his smile as bright as always.

Renjun was hunched over in the kitchen, staring into his banana milk and trying to hype himself up. Naturally, now that he knew what Jaemin sounded like when he got his back blown out, things were different.

He froze, shoulders up to his ears, as he turned around and stared at the other who began to yawn and stretch his arms out, looking dubiously happy. When he raised his arms, his shirt lifted slightly exposing his midriff and- oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

There were marks littered across the dip in his hips; the sexy deep v that led straight down to… Renjun gulped.

They weren’t just marks, but they were most definitely hickies. Small bruising spots decorated his abdomen, and Renjun is pretty sure that there were some descending farther downwards too. Which means-

“Having fun?”

His eyes snapped up to where Jaemin had one of his arms propped behind his head so that his shirt hadn’t quite fallen all the way back down.

And he was definitely flexing.

Eyes narrowed, Renjun pretended that he wasn’t flustered that he had been caught, rolling his eyes to maintain his composure. Or as much composure as one could have while they were blushing guiltily.

“Why are you flexing, Jaem?” Renjun asked, turning back around to sip his drink. “Scared I won’t be able to see any muscle there unless you’re actively trying to make it look bigger?” A choked swallowing noise came from behind him.

Keeping the straw in his mouth, Renjun turned around, leaning forward onto the counter as his head tilted in humor.

Jaemin’s arm had begun to slowly fall back to his side as he now wore a blush for the first time since Renjun moved in, he was pretty sure.

Hm. Had he made Jaemin flustered?

“Oh please. I could beat you in any kind of strength contest,” Jaemin quipped, trying to hide his mildly bruised ego. Renjun smirked, laughing inwardly.

_That’s what you get for teasing me._

“I’m sure you could. I don’t care that I’m not strong, I was just simply pointing out that it was funny that you were purposefully trying to show off for me,” Renjun rebutted, snark covering every single one of his words.

Jaemin opened his mouth, and Renjun could see his tongue press against the roof of his mouth, annoyed. He began to stalk forward and leaned on the bar, the counter space the only thing separating the two. Arching his eyebrow, he cocked his head the opposite direction that Renjun’s was leaned.

“So, did you want a better look at the hickies Jeno left, then?” Renjun’s confidence sputtered as he jolted straight up. “Hm. If you can call me out, I can call you out, right?”

Renjun scoffed and quickly came around the other side of the counter to jump onto an unprepared Jaemin.

“You started it! You’re the one who called me out first! Why are you being such a butt! It’s too early for this bullshit!” He complained as he clung to the other, softly popping him on the head with every statement.

Laughter was tumbling out of Jaemin’s mouth, obviously enjoying having won whatever small competition that they had just had.

“What on Earth is going on?”

Jeno’s voice rang out from the upstairs living room as he leaned slightly over the edge to peer down at the two stuck in a tussle. Renjun tried to pull back embarrassed and not wanting Jeno to know the reason why it had all started.

“Oh, you’re going to love this, Nono. So, I came down and Renjun was just in the kitchen, right? Well a little someone couldn’t keep his eyes-“

Grabbing his collar, Renjun pulled Jaemin forward and brought their lips harshly together. There was no way that it actually felt good to Jaemin, because Renjun was pretty sure he might have even bruised his own lips at the force.

But, it had the desired effect.

“Nana, can you please make me breakfast? Junnie is hungry,” Renjun pouted up at the taller, putting on the thickest layer of cuteness he possible could.

Jaemin’s eyes were round, his mouth completely open and he stared unblinking at Renjun obviously trying to process whatever had just happened.

“Oh. Oh! You’re hungry? Yeah, yeah, okay,” Jaemin cleared his throat awkwardly and moved his arms out before pulling them back in again and hesitating once more, before walking around Renjun.

It was nice being able to fluster Jaemin twice within the span of only a few minutes. This was a new power Renjun needed to learn how to control.

Feeling smug, Renjun turned to go back and grab his banana milk before locking eyes with Jeno. He was staring at him, disbelief of what he had just seen written across his face. Smiling sheepishly, Renjun crossed the room to where Jeno had descended the stairs and gave him a small hug.

“Morning, Nono.” A hand came up to ruffle Renjun’s hair, lovingly.

“Good morning, Jun. Do I want to know what just happened?”

“Please don’t ask.”

Renjun was finally going to get his hair cut, and he couldn’t be more excited. Jaemin had spent the entire day trying to convince him not to since he had seen the hybrid put it into a little ponytail on top of his head earlier that day.

Jaemin actually looked like he wanted to cry when he confirmed that he still had every intention to cut it. Apparently that meant that Jaemin had to take at least twenty pictures of a frowning Renjun, hair gathered into the smallest ponytail ever seen in the center of his head.

They had brought a chair into the upstairs bathroom where Renjun now sat. His legs swung back and forth not quite able to reach the floor. Who Renjun might consider the prettiest man he’d ever seen in his life, was standing off to the side talking to Jaemin about something, his face mildly serious.

He had slightly curled silver hair, large eyes, and the straightest nose ever. Maybe next to Jaemin and Jeno only.

Turning around, the man finally came over to Renjun to introduce himself. He seemed mildly shy, which surprised Renjun considering the commanding aura he seemed to give off.

“Hi, I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you. Renjun, right?” He stuck his hand out which Renjun gladly accepted. The other’s deep, nasal voice could be described as nothing but absolutely charming, and Renjun thinks that if he hadn’t already fallen for Jeno and Jaemin, he might have been a goner for Taeyong.

But, that name was familiar. Renjun quirked his head thinking back. Wasn’t that the same name of Jaemin’s manager?

“Hello, yes i’m Renjun. Nice to meet you, thank you for coming to cut my hair. It needs it really badly,” he awkwardly scratched the back of his head, playing with the long hair there in the process.

“It really doesn’t look bad at all! It’s just long,” Taeyong shrugged in response.

“Thanks. So, you’re a hair stylist, right? How did you and Jaemin meet?”

For some reason, that was the wrong thing to say. Where Taeyong had been bent over, reaching into a black bag, unfolding it to reveal an array of combs, he quickly glanced up to the mirror and glared at the other.

“You told him I was a hair stylist?” Jaemin looked sheepish.

“No! I never said that exactly. I just,” he shrugged before flicking his hands a bit. “I just didn’t specify? It never came up!” Taeyong’s eyes narrowed even further, standing up straight.

“I… I’m sorry?” It came out as more of a question due to Renjun’s confusion. Taeyong looked at him and smiled reassuringly.

“Don’t apologize; it’s not your fault. I’m _actually_ Jaemin’s manager.” Renjun’s mouth popped open. So he had been right? Wait, so then why was he cutting his hair?

“Hyung! I’m sorry, it just didn’t come back up once you said you could do it, so I-“ Taeyong cut him off.

“It’s fine, Jaeminnie. I get that it’s hard to remember to tell people every time since I’m good at so many things, it must get confusing,” he laughed at his own joke, a sort of nasal inhaling sound that had Renjun smiling.

“That’s really cool, so you get all of Jaemin’s brand deals and photo shoots and stuff for him?”

“Ah, sort of?” Taeyong says as he begins to wet Renjun’s hair with a small spray bottle. He had to hold back from hissing, his ears flattening to his head. This was always the worst part.

“I just find the jobs, or people looking for the jobs. Jaemin’s the one who books them,” he answers. Jaemin is smiling proudly in the mirror as Renjun looks up to see him, returning a soft smile. “So, what kind of haircut are we looking at?”

“Well, I want it much shorter for sure. I was thinking we could leave my bangs kind of to here?” Renjun brought his hand up to his eyebrows showing Taeyong, who nodded in response. “And I figured if you could just shape the rest?” He shrugged, it’s not like he wanted any particularly fancy haircut.

“Alright, easy,” Taeyong replied before picking up his pair of scissors preparing to make the first cut, a grimacing and dramatic Jaemin in the background already lamenting the loss of Renjun’s hair.

“Ready?”

“More than ready.”

It didn’t take long for Donghyuck to organize their double (and a half?) date. Of course, it was basically just like their dinner last time, except Jisung wouldn’t be coming over.

Renjun tried to hold back the small tinge of disappointment that he couldn’t go somewhere for what would technically be his first date ever. He was lucky to have spoken to Joohyun earlier that day; it put him a bit more at ease and able to throw away most of his self deprecation.

So now, after Donghyuck had once again helped him pick out his outfit, Renjun stared at himself in the mirror making sure he looked alright.

He was wearing one of the shirts Doyoung had made for him from the emerald green fabric. It was a button down that he had tucked into a tailored pair of black jeans that were snug against his legs. Two small necklaces draped around his neck, one a loose black choker, the other a thin silver chain. His newly cut hair was straightened out and styled perfectly. All of his fur was shiny and Renjun felt good.

Really good.

Shifting to look at himself from different angles, Renjun nodded in approval at his look.

He had been asked to wait in his room while Jeno and Jaemin set everything up, so Renjun did as told while texting Donghyuck a bit, his nervous energy starting to build.

Legs bouncing uncontrollably, there came a soft knock at his door. He popped up excitedly and proceeded to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.

When he opened the door, his eyes shined in wonder, and he couldn’t hold his mouth from falling open in surprise. Both Jeno and Jaemin were dressed gorgeously in fashionably tight shirts and clean jeans. But that wasn’t the only thing that caught his eye.

Jeno was holding a small bouquet of roses while Jaemin had obviously stolen one and placed it behind his ear, smiling. They both stood and let their gazes rake over Renjun’s outfit before looking back up to meet his eyes.

“Flowers?” Renjun was finally able to get out, as his hands came up to grasp one another, settling on his chest.

“We noticed how much you seemed to like the flowers we had at the last dinner, and you also seemed kind of sad when they had died, sooo?” Jaemin grinned, bumping his elbow into Jeno who smiled and handed the little bouquet over. Renjun’s face split into a large grin, as he reached for the roses.

“Thank you. I love them,” he spoke softly, looking up at the other two, his eyes and nose crinkling happily. “It’s just like a real date,” he giggled.

“That’s because it is,” Jeno countered, leaning forward to bump Renjun playfully making them all chuckle softly.

There was a lull in the conversation as nervousness washed over them all. The awkwardness of the fact that this was in fact a date, settling in. Naturally, their human ice breaker, Jaemin, was able to pull them all down the hallway smothering them both in hugs.

Right then, the doorbell rang and Donghyuck and Mark came strolling inside when Jeno had opened the door.

His friend nodded in approval at his ensemble and then gave him a mischief eyebrow raise at the flowers he was still holding. Rolling his eyes, Renjun fetched a vase and groomed the roses before placing them in water while everyone else caught up and chatted softly.

It wasn’t long until the conversation turned louder, especially when the food was finally set out in front of them. Talking over one another and joking at each other’s expense became the constant, while they dined on the small buffet Jaemin and Jeno had made.

Mark promised that next time he would buy the food and have it delivered to them so that they wouldn’t have to keep cooking every time he and Donghyuck came over.

After they finished dinner, they all gathered upstairs to put a movie on. Jaemin and Mark had wanted to play some video games and set some kind of bet on who would win, but a pout from Donghyuck and the soft suggestion of a movie from Renjun was more than enough to change their minds.

So now, Renjun was leaning against Jeno’s chest while Jaemin rested his head in his lap. Donghyuck was lying on top of Mark whose back was propped up against the couch where the others were.

At someone’s suggestion (read: Donghyuck), they picked out and began to watch a horror film.

Which had been quite the choice.

Mark and Renjun alternated in screaming in surprise and clinging to the people around them while Donghyuck would often burst out laughing, ruining the atmosphere and mood for the others.

At one point, Hyuck started giggling while the main character on screen was slowly walking through a dark room where the murderer had gone into previously. Jaemin grabbed one of the couch cushions and chucked it at Donghyuck’s head which, of course, only caused Mark and Renjun to jump once more.

Without the loving pets from Jeno he had received, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to make it through the entire thing.

After the movie ended, they all spent the better part of an hour simply talking. Jaemin was holding Renjun’s hands and playing with his fingers while Hyuck kept shooting him knowing looks that Renjun pointedly ignored.

Soon enough, Mark began to yawn which led to him and Donghyuck getting up to leave, thanking the three for their hospitality and company. Renjun fetched the finished portrait of the dog he had done to give it to the other two before they left and made sure to hug them both tightly.

When the door shut behind them, Jaemin sighed out and pulled Jeno into a hug, kissing his cheek softly.

“Want me to help with the dishes in the sink?” Renjun asked, walking over to check on his roses again.

“Leave it for tonight, we can all do them in the morning after breakfast,” Jaemin huffed out while swaying him and his partner back in forth.

“So, I, kind of, maybe you guys would, I don’t know. It’s like,” Renjun started, fiddling with his thumbs, refusing to look up at the other two even if he could feel their eyes locked on him. “Since you both got me these roses? There’s something that I’d like to give you, too?” He looked up, finally blinking vulnerably at them. “If that’s ok?”

“You didn’t have to do that, Injunnie. We wanted to spoilt you,” Jeno replied softly, his eyes creased kindly.

“Well, I already have it, so do you want it or not?” Renjun pouted, sticking his nose up in the air playfully.

“Gimme!” Jaemin cheered, coming forward to latch onto Renjun’s side and hugging him closely.

“Okay, well I can’t get it if you don’t let me go.”

Renjun made Jeno and Jaemin sit on the couch while he went into his closet and fetched the portrait of the two he had painted what felt like ages ago. Coming down the hallway, he called out to the others, instructing them to close their eyes as it was a surprise.

His heart began to race thinking of all the ways they might react while he trekked over and stood in front of them. Turning the portrait to face them, he began to speak.

“Don’t open your eyes yet. I want to say something,” Jaemin pouted and Jeno nodded. “So, this is something that I… did… awhile back? I wanted to wait to give it to you at the perfect time, and, well, I’m not sure if there will be a better time than a first date? I was nervous because I really put my heart into it, and now that I know you both care for me the way I care for you both...Anyways, I hope you like it. You can open your eyes now.”

Jaemin popped one eye open, squinting the other while Jeno let his flutter open naturally. Both of them had varying levels of shock and bewilderment across their faces as they took in the portrait Renjun had painted of the two.

Both of their faces smiling brightly and radiantly stared back at them.

Renjun began to shift his feet nervously, while they both stared on in silence.

“Jun…” Jeno trailed off, his voice full of admiration. “Can I hold it?”

Nodding, he handed the painting delicately to Jeno, who took it in his hands and tilted his head slightly to get a better look at it. Jaemin leaned closer, taking it all in as well.

“This is amazing, Renjun,” Jaemin replied, voice soft and focused.

Blushing, Renjun stood and waited for them to finish taking it in as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. After about a minute when they had passed the painting back and forth between them, Jaemin looked up with shiny eyes and a grand smile.

“You, sir, are phenomenal,” Jaemin shook his head in awe.

“It’s not, I mean, I just wanted to give you guys something?” He shrugged.

“You’re so talented, Injun,” Jeno complimented, his voice low. “Can we put this in our room?”

“Oh yes! Of course! It’s both of yours now, so you can do whatever you’d like with it.”

Smiling, Jaemin took it from Jeno’s hands and began to climb up the stairs to their room to find the perfect place to hang it. Renjun followed the two, his heart thumping happily, contented that they seemed to really enjoy the piece.

Bursting through the door to their room, Jaemin began to spin around excitedly, trying to find the perfect place for the picture.

“Nono, do you have any nails for the wall?”

“Yeah, one sec,” Jeno walked back out of their room, mussing up Renjun’s hair on the way with a smile.

Jaemin walked over to their bathroom, pausing at the wall just left of the door there. The space was empty and white, plenty of room to showcase the painting. Plus, when you first walked into the room, it would be almost directly in your line of sight.

“What do you think?” Jaemin held the portrait up on the wall, beaming over his shoulder at Renjun. Bouncing down onto the edge of their bed giddily, Renjun smirked.

“Looks great. Perfectly on display.” Sending him a wink, Jaemin lowered the portrait to continue to stare at it as footsteps of Jeno coming back up the stairs could be heard.

Holding it back up to the wall, Jeno quickly approved and began to calmly hammer a nail into the perfect spot to show the art off. Jaemin ran his finger over the small cursive signature in the bottom corner of the painting before turning to look at Renjun.

“Does this mean we’ll be the first people ever to have Huang Renjun’s artwork before he’s big and famous?” Renjun belly laughed at that before shrugging.

“I guess so! Though I doubt I’ll be famous,” Jeno narrowed his eyes impishly at that.

“You’re far too humble for your own good.”

Jeno plopped himself down next to Renjun before hugging him briefly and pressing a kiss into his hair on the crown of his head. Renjun noticed that Jeno seemed to be quite fond of kissing the top of his head, and it was really cute.

“So, how was your first date?” Jeno asked, rubbing circles into where he had grabbed the smaller’s hand.

“It was,” Renjun stared at the carpet blushing, slightly lost for words. “It was really fun. And you’re both very sweet and I feel very lucky.” He grinned, his lips closed and nose scrunched.

“Good. Our Injunnie deserves nothing but the best,” Jaemin responded, climbing onto the bed to hug him from behind. “The portrait is absolutely stunning, baby. Truly. It’s gorgeous,” he whispered into Renjun’s ear before placing a kiss on it, causing him to shiver.

“I’m glad you both like it,” he whispered, swinging his feet back and forth.

Jaemin simply hummed in response before angling Renjun’s head backward to face him, hand on his cheek and pressed his lips against the smaller’s. He wasn’t sure that he would ever get used to it no matter how often they kissed him. Renjun supposed that if they spent the entire twenty four hours of the day attached at the lips, his heart would still leap every time.

Pulling back, Jaemin smiled softly, rubbing his thumb across Renjun’s cheek where his hand lay. Jeno then leaned in, angling Renjun towards him, and pecked his lips softly, before prying Jaemin’s arms off and pulling Renjun into a bear hug before falling backwards onto the bed.

They both giggled as Jaemin threw himself on top of them, craning his head awkwardly to reach Jeno’s lips to press a kiss to them. Jeno and Jaemin’s kiss was more passionate and deeper than the ones Renjun had experienced so far.

It made sense though. They knew one another in and out and actually knew how to kiss.

After Renjun began to feel his neck heat up, he cleared his throat prompting the two to part from one another and turned to face him in their clumped state. Jeno looked sheepish, but Jaemin looked inquisitive.

“Before I lose my nerve,” Renjun cleared his throat, shimmying out of their grasp to sit back up, “Can you guys, like, teach me how to kiss?” Jeno simply blinked twice while the devil himself seemed to possess Jaemin’s smile. “I know that sounds like a weird come on, but it’s like I see the way you two kiss? And I _know_ I could never kiss like that, and-“

Jeno climbed across the small distance and took hold of Renjun’s shoulder, a hand behind his back to lower him slowly so that he lay flat against their bed. He hovered over him, large shoulders caging him in and Renjun could feel his palms grow damp with anticipation.

“Renjun. It’s okay if you want to come on to us or flirt with us. We’re trying to _date_ you. By all means, flirt more,” he heard Jaemin state matter-of-factly, but Renjun couldn’t pull his eyes away from Jeno who seemed to be staring into his soul.

“Just, follow my lead, hm?” Jeno whispered before leaning down to bring their lips close together.

Again, the jolt of electricity that he felt every time their lips touched raced through Renjun once more. It was a soft, precious thing that Jeno left on his lips. He could feel the care and adoration from the other which made Renjun squeeze his eyes tighter, trying to not become emotional.

Bringing his arms up, he wrapped them around Jeno’s back, prompting him to shift closer, his knees now planted on either side of Renjun’s hips.

A thumb pressed onto his chin, pulling down tenderly, causing Renjun’s lips to part. Nerves wracked through his body as did shivers when he felt the smallest bit of Jeno’s tongue sneak out to run its way across his bottom lip.

His mind began to blank, arms locking up, as Jeno used more of his tongue to breach Renjun’s lips and tentatively explore. Tracing its way across his lips, across his own tongue, even the tops of his teeth.

Renjun was positively shaking in Jeno’s hold, the new sensations causing blood to rush far away from his head and immediately head south instead.

“Now,” Jeno murmured, “try and do the same thing to me, hm?” Renjun eagerly nodded his head, eyes locked on the other’s lips and they lowered themselves back down to meet his again.

Jeno laid still, his lips parted and pressing softly against Renjun’s. Tentatively, swallowing twice before he made a move, his own tongue began its investigation.

He copied Jeno as he timidly ran it over the bottom of Jeno’s lips before trying to copy the finesse that he had shown when he did it to Renjun. Allowing his tongue to enter Jeno’s mouth, Renjun felt completely lost and tried to press it against Jeno’s who responded in kind.

Jeno lead Renjun through the first awkward stages until he began to slightly get the hang of it. Lips and tongues languidly moved in tandem, caressing one another in gentle strokes.

Sighing, Renjun tilted his head the other way, growing more familiar with the sensations.

Right when he had become comfortable, Jaemin scooted next to the pair and began to place feather light kisses down the column of Renjun’s neck, causing him to gasp out, and pull back and away from Jeno.

Both of them looked to Jaemin accusingly, who only looked right back, mischief obvious in his eyes.

“What? You were both having so much fun without me,” he fake sulked. “Besides, don’t you want to know how I got those hickies, Injunnie?” His voice was the definition of sultry, making Renjun’s brain peter out and malfunction.

Jeno pushed himself up as Jaemin brought his mouth back to Renjun’s neck, cupping the other side of his neck with his fingers while his thumb pressed against the underside of his chin angling it upwards. His neck now stretched out, giving Jaemin plenty of room to work with.

Where Jeno was soft and gentle, Jaemin was passionate and wanting. It was apparent in the sucks and bites he left on Renjun’s neck as he clambered on top of him, still holding his head back.

Little gasps at each kiss and bite, left Renjun’s lips, his hands fisted into Jaemin’s shirt, clinging on for dear life. He swore under his breath when Jaemin began to suck headily at Renjun’s collarbone, not letting up.

Eyes glossy, Renjun turned and caught Jeno’s eyes. The smaller’s lips were pink and plush, his mouth open wide and gasping, and he seemed to begging for something. Jeno didn’t seem sure what Renjun wanted, neither did he, but he wanted Jeno close again.

 _Needed_ him close.

Both of them.

Jeno began to kiss Renjun’s lips again, his pace leisured compared to the rushed and lustful kisses from Jaemin.

Renjun swears that if he was going to die, this is exactly how he wanted to go. Surrounded by the two men he adored, being kissed by them both, his body felt completely alive. And he meant completely.

As Jaemin shifted to kiss the top of Renjun’s chest right where his torso began, his hand went to grip Renjun’s thigh to help balance himself above the smaller. His hold slipped slightly and pressed against Renjun’s embarrassingly hard erection that had been poking at the inside of his thigh since Jeno first laid him back down on the bed.

Renjun let out a heady moan, parting from Jeno’s lips and throwing his head backwards panting loudly as his chest rose and fell at an intense rate. Both of the boys pulled backwards slightly, looking down to Renjun as he slowly came down from his haze of lust and adoration.

Realizing that he had just whined out loud at nothing more than a small accidental press of Jaemin’s hand against him, he buried his head in his hands and clamped his eyes shut tight. Sitting up, Jaemin moved off of him letting Renjun bury his head between his knees, embarrassment and shame radiating off of his body.

“Oh my god,” Renjun groaned out.

“What?” Jeno asked, slightly breathless.

“I- that… when he-“

“Do you want us to help?” Jaemin asked causing Renjun to peek from behind his hands, confused.

“What?”

“Well, you said you wanted to learn how to kiss a bit more intimately, we could show you some other stuff too? Of course, only if you want to! No pressure, whatsoever,” Jaemin added quickly.

Wait, so would they…

Renjun lowered his hands and looked over to Jeno who only shrugged slightly.

“It’s completely up to you, Junnie.” Swallowing, he trailed his gaze back to Jaemin.

“I wouldn’t know what to do with,” his hands came to rest on his knees, “with both of your… with you know… it would be embarrassing,” he exhaled.

Jaemin shook his head, gently making his way back to hover over Renjun, letting him lie down once more.

“If you want, you can just lay here, okay? You don’t have to do anything.” Renjun frowned at that, his bottom lip puckering out.

“That doesn’t seem fair at all?”

“Just think of it as a thank you for the beautiful painting,” Jaemin smiled softly, tilting his head to look at Jeno who was already smiling back.

“Well, I mean… for learning purposes?” Renjun licked his lips while clinging to the comforter, his grip so hard that if he was a real cat they would probably be torn to shreds by his claws.

“Learning purposes sure,” Jeno shrugged, “but also-“

“But also because we like you and think you’re hot and want to touch your dick,” Jaemin finished for him, causing Renjun to turn into the physical embodiment of a tomato.

“Not exactly what I was going to say, but I guess that works too,” Jeno laughed.

“Stop us whenever, okay?” Jaemin whispered onto Renjun’s lips who nodded, swallowing, before the other closed the nonexistent distance and brought their mouths together.

The kissing he could do, if Renjun just relaxed and thought of this as just kissing and not the fact that they were about to touch him, this would be fine. Sure, his heartbeat was so loud you could hear it, but at least he knew about kissing.

When an timid palm applied pressure onto Renjun’s length over the top of his pants, there was no way he would have been able to keep kissing Jaemin.

He gasped loudly, throwing his head back once more; thankful that they were laying on something soft or else he was sure he would have given himself a concussion. Jaemin smirked at his reaction, pressing harder to see the smaller squirm.

“Hm, you’re so sensitive,” Jaemin teased and he gently grinded his hand onto Renjun whose hips had a mind of their own, pressing back against the pressure.

“No shit, I’ve never-“ Renjun’s words broke off in a groan, “I’ve never done this before,” he countered, his voice coming out much less snarky than he had wanted. Needless to say, that caused Jaemin to smirk once more.

“Okay, I know how to do this, come here,” Jaemin swung his leg over and off Renjun to move to the headboard and patted his lap.

Renjun reluctantly crawled over to him, letting himself be maneuvered to sit with his back against Jaemin’s chest so that Jeno was now directly in front of him. He took in a shuddering breath, far too aware of everything around him, unable to stop from squirming.

Jaemin grabbed his hips harshly, halting his nervous wiggles.

“Calm. Down.” Jaemin breathed, licking his neck which made Renjun’s whole body break out into goose bumps, his chest shaking with the intensity of his reaction.

“You’re something else, Jaemin,” Jeno lamented, settling closer to place soft kisses onto Renjun’s lips who appreciated the more gentle distraction.

“Maybe, but we wouldn’t be right here right now without my extraness, so, you’re welcome,” he said, self-satisfied.

“I’m going to touch you now, okay?” Jeno whispered into Renjun’s lips between kisses, making the hybrid nod mutely and completely overwhelmed.

Sitting back onto his ankles, Jeno bent over and began to unzip Renjun’s pants as Jaemin wrapped his arms around his petite waist and pecked soothing kisses on his neck and shoulders.

Wiggling the fabric down only lightly, he was able to reveal the tops of Renjun’s briefs. Catching the hungry glimpse in Jeno’s eyes, he shut his own, leaning his head back onto Jaemin’s shoulder and grabbing his legs that were on either side of him.

“Okay?”

“Yup,” Renjun squeaked out, incredibly high pitched.

Jaemin chuckled and Renjun felt a hand that must have been Jeno’s run its way across the elastic before pushing its way below them.

He gasped loudly; eyes popping back open and head dropping to look and see what Jeno was doing. His hand loosely wrapped itself around Renjun whose chest was rising and falling at an insane rate.

Jeno started lightly, barely applying pressure to his length, hand grabbing the base and pulling up slowly before going back down. Renjun was unable to close his mouth as he saw the bulge of Jeno’s hand working over him in his own underwear. He felt Jaemin situate his chin on his shoulder to look over and watch as well.

His hand was rougher than his own and much, much larger too. He felt so small in Jeno’s grasp and for some reason, that turned him on even more.

Renjun tried to squeeze his legs together, overwhelmed by the sensation of having someone else, someone else he _reaaally_ liked, touch him this way. However, Jaemin was quick to grab the inside of his thighs and pry them open, allowing Jeno to continue, picking up the pace and pressure slightly.

“ _Jenoo_ ,” Renjun whimpered, his shoulders hunched and eyes closed as he continued to work his hand over him, rubbing his thumb harshly into the head of his dick just how he liked it, legs trembling and straining against Jaemin’s hold.

When he let go Renjun let out a sigh of relief that was mixed with a whine of disappointment. They shuffled him a bit, raising his hips and yanking the tight jeans down to his ankles, the top of his cock poking out of his underwear.

Shy, Renjun took his hands and covered himself, blushing profusely. Jaemin kissed his cheek while Jeno softly pried his hands back, taking them into his own and kissing them before setting them down.

Jeno rolled the smaller’s briefs down exposing him completely, causing Renjun’s ears to twitch and tail to flick in expectation. Jaemin softly grabbed Renjun’s tail as it continued to whap onto his arm over and over again, petting it.

Once he calmed down a bit, Jaemin shifted his hands to grab Renjun’s length, using both of his hands to grab him. A gasp ripped itself from Renjun’s throat and he missed the signal that Jaemin had shot his partner over his shoulder.

Using one hand to cup over the top of his cock, Jaemin stroked him tightly with his other. This time no one held him back as he began to shallowly thrust into Jaemin’s touch and Renjun knew there was no way he was going to last much longer at all. And when Jeno leaned forward, Renjun thought he was going to get a kiss before his head dipped lower.

That’s when Renjun was positive that there was no way he would hold off.

The hand Jaemin had on the top of his cock fell down to grab Renjun’s hip, the other still grasping the base, and directed it into Jeno’s mouth.

Jeno’s warm, wet, and- _oh god was that his tongue?_

Renjun basically screamed at the overwhelming sensation as Jeno bobbed his head up and down on him, having no trouble at all in taking him down to the hilt. Jaemin’s hand still holding the base and stroking his length when Jeno would come up to suck harshly on the head.

Focus hazy and eyelids drifting shut, Renjun’s mouth hung open as he stared at the sight below him and when Jeno popped off, mouth open and staring at Renjun while Jaemin stroked him quickly and harshly, he knew he was a goner.

It didn’t take more than a few seconds for Renjun to gasp awkwardly until he came into contact with Jaemin’s legs and squeezed with all of his might.

And then he was cumming. Jaemin holding his cock directly onto Jeno’s tongue, still stroking him and rubbing him against the wet muscle in Jeno’s mouth.

Jeno’s eyes were still directly locked onto Renjun and he was whimpering and having an extremely hard time staying still, his body wriggling at the intense sensations.

When Renjun was finished, he felt as if he had just ran a marathon, his entire body exhausted and his breath coming in and out in sharp pants.

Jeno closed his lips and swallowed and Renjun’s eyes fell closed completely, head falling back onto Jaemin, whose hand was still holding his length that twitched at the sight of Jeno swallowing.

“Hm, well he definitely liked seeing you swallow, Jeno,” Jaemin teased, pointing out the way his dick had jumped in his hand.

Renjun was too wiped out to even come up with a snappy remark, his body going slack in the other’s hold.

Jeno pulled Renjun’s briefs back up and helped in removing his nice clothing in order to trade for one of Jeno’s shirts that was giant on Renjun’s small body.

They were snuggled up in bed soon after, both of them denying Renjun’s soft protests of it being unfair that neither of them got any “touches”.

Which is what Renjun had called it.

Instead, they asked for a few kisses from the smaller, claiming that that’s all they had wanted anyways.

Boneless and satisfied, Renjun drifted off to sleep cuddled between the two most amazing people in the world, knowing that there was no way anyone else in the world had ever had a better first date than he had had tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stares at explicit sexual content tag*
> 
> I didn't think I would post today honestly, but I got struck by an idea that let me write a bit more so I felt okay about posting this chapter since I had gotten farther lol. I don’t mean to post every day, I just have so much fun telling this story and how it's coming along. 
> 
> I hope you're enjoying, and if in the future I'm not able to update daily, I thank you all for your patience and support ^^


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give a shoutout to Alana! She painted a beautiful picture inspired by Renjun's portraits a couple chapters ago! Please go look at it, it's stunning! You can see it [here~](https://twitter.com/MidnightPasses/status/1284584162070937600)
> 
> Also spoiler alert for the movie Spirited Away if for some reason you haven't seen that masterpiece yet, and you want to. Just skip to "Later in the week,"

It didn’t take long for Jaemin to become busy again, having scored a double spread in a fashion magazine, and Jeno had also managed to pick up a new client at the same time.

At least it seemed like both of the people they were working with now weren’t horrible assholes like their last ones.

So now, Renjun spent most of his days alone, and he found himself restless.

And lonely.

When had Renjun ever had problems with being alone? There were plenty of shows to watch, games to play, things to paint.

However, those things seemed to lose their enjoyment when Renjun knew how much better they could be when Jeno and Jaemin were there doing them with him.

Of course, the two had to work. It’s not like he wished they would quit their jobs just so that they could stay at home with him and cuddle him all day.

Or maybe do some more of the stuff they had done on the night of their date.

His cheeks began to heat up as he recalled what had happened between them that evening. The way their hands felt around and _on_ him.

Their mouths.

 _Jeno’s_ mouth.

It had felt so good, and Renjun wanted to make them feel as good as they had him.

Great. Now Renjun was alone, with a raging hard on, and too sad about neither of his crushes being here to do anything about it.

Instead, Renjun browsed until he found a movie titled _Spirited Away_. The art looked really pretty, so he figured why not. If it was horrible he could just take a nap until one of the other’s got back home for dinner.

However, it was anything but boring. Definitely not movie napping material.

The heroine was so unbelievably brave. She travelled into an unknown world all to save her parents. She was alone and everything she had ever known was flipped on its head as she traversed through the spirit world, attempting to work her way back to her parents.

She fought hard and long, she was even able to make a few friends along the way, friends who helped her remember who she truly was in the end. They didn’t let her forget her heart and why she was there. Her mission.

It was with tears in his eyes that Renjun sat on the edge of his seat while the credits began to roll. She had walked away, parents freed and with her, and never looked back. She didn’t look back on what she had done and what she had accomplished. Everything that had scared her? It was in her past.

She was so brave.

Renjun wanted to be like her.

Later in the week, he talked with Joohyun again. This time she tackled his fear. The monster that was ‘the outside.’

Renjun was surprised when she advised him to not try and go back outside to the small gazebo near him. He couldn’t hold back a pout at that, since he had thought it was a good idea. Of course, when she explained why, Renjun automatically surrendered his doubts.

She pointed out the fact that his subconscious might have associated trauma with that spot now, and it might affect him even worse than last time. The thought sent a chilling shiver through him.

Her idea was much smarter.

Still scary, but smart.

She had asked him how their car ride home from her office had gone, and Renjun hadn’t lied when he said it really hadn’t been much of a big deal. Of course, he hadn’t looked up from Jeno’s shoulder, but the thought of being inside the car wasn’t too terribly frightening to him.

So, his challenge this week? Go on a drive with Jeno and Jaemin. As short as he wanted it to be, but he had to uncover his eyes.

Leaving him with a warning to listen to his body and not push himself, she signed off with a demure smile. Renjun slunk down into his chair.

How had he not thought of that?

She was too smart for her own good.

So, that’s how he found himself in between Jeno and Jaemin, both of his hands being held as Renjun glared at the opening and closing sliding doors in the lobby.

“You’re looking at the doors as if they murdered your first born child, or something,” Jaemin joked lightly earning an eye roll from the smaller.

“I’m getting focused. Steeling my resolve and all that kind of stuff,” he muttered as Jeno traced his thumb across Renjun’s knuckles.

They spent another handful of minutes staring at the doors, Jaemin’s grin steadily growing bigger and bigger, until Renjun gave Jeno a nod that he was ready.

Jaemin would be driving, and they had already planned out a small route that should only go once around their block and then he would check in with himself. Make sure he wasn’t pushing it, and if he felt okay they would go on the slightly longer route.

Jeno would help Renjun get to the car because although he was willing to try and face the outside from inside the car, there was no way he was ready to just stroll casually out the front doors and walk the distance to their car in the parking garage.

So, cradled into the warm and careful embrace of Jeno, they made the very short trip to Jaemin’s car. Renjun’s hands were sweaty and he was counting his breaths already.

When he had brought up that sometimes he counted his breaths, Joohyun had praised him. She was impressed when he explained how he had been able to go into the lobby for the first time with Donghyuck that way.

If it worked, then he should continue it, is what she had advised him.

Breathing in and out, Renjun felt Jeno climb into the backseat with him and shuffle him over to the side to strap his seatbelt across his chest. Soon, the car stirred to life and they sat in silence for a few moments, Renjun’s eyes still glued shut.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Jeno spoke lowly, holding Renjun’s hands and pressing soft kisses to the backs of his them.

Breathing out lowly, Renjun started by peeking one eye open, just barely open so that his view was still blurry at best.

He could do this. He’d literally already done this!

And he was fine.

Nodding to himself, Renjun let his eyes open to take in the dark sloping concrete of the parking garage, only nice cars in sight. Jeno was right next to him, as he was right against the window behind the driver’s seat, so if need be he could reach forward and grab Jaemin for double support.

It would be a lie to say he was totally fine. He began to feel his heart race in the not fun way, and his palms grow damp, but it was mild compared to the past. So, he situated his seatbelt a bit better and raised his chin.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

He caught both gazes of concern from them and gave them a soft smile of reassurance. That he was really ready for this.

Jaemin put the car in reverse and began to pull out of the parking spot. Renjun grasped Jeno’s hand tighter, and it must have hurt slightly from just how hard he was squeezing, but Jeno didn’t complain once.

Unable to pull his gaze from the window, Renjun looked outside at everything. Right now all he could see were cars; a few attendants and residents mulling about between the vehicles.

They climbed up the sloping path and emerged on top where it opened out onto the street. Jaemin had suggested this time of day, after everyone had gotten to work but too early for lunch, and he had picked correctly. It really was rather sparse, people wise.

Turning onto the road gently, Renjun found his eyes roving over everything he could see. His head whipping this way and that to catch the sights that he had been seeing on his TV for years now.

Jaemin was crawling along, obviously going under the speed limit, and driving extra safely. Hand in his, Jeno continued to give him reassuring squeezes and caresses.

But, honestly?

Renjun was loving it.

Did he lose his breath when Jaemin went over a speed bump and bury his head into Jeno’s chest for a solid minute to collect his breath while his pink haired crush apologized profusely?

Yes.

But really, it was so fascinating, and once again Renjun found himself strangely fond of the humming from the vehicle.

When they passed a small store that said ‘karaoke’ on it, Renjun gasped loudly. He had seen those everywhere; they were an extremely popular pass time for friends, and it was on his list of places he wanted to go once he was better.

At his gasp, Jeno leaned closer worried it was something bad.

“Junnie? What is it?”

“Karaoke!” He couldn’t help the increased pitch in his voice, too excited to hold it back.

Looking back to Jeno, he was smiling brightly. It felt good to see the outside like this.

It felt so damn good.

When Jaemin began to turn the corner where they could head back, Renjun immediately asked if they could continue to drive around. Both the other’s double, triple, quadruple checked that he was sure and wasn’t pushing himself. But, he wasn’t, he was listening to his body, and his body said it wanted to see more of everything.

Turning right instead of left, they ventured into territory that was still several miles outside of the city, but was busier with bustling life.

A giant fluffy dog that would probably be as tall as Renjun if he stood, was walking along side its owner across the sidewalk. Its tongue was lolling out the side of its mouth as the dog seemed to smile at the surroundings.

He pressed closer to the window, letting go of Jeno’s hand to twist his body so he could watch the dog grow smaller and smaller as they drove by.

“Aw, that puppy was so cute,” he murmured to himself, disappointed. When Jaemin began to giggle softly, he realized he had said that out loud and began to blush.

“How are you the cutest thing ever?” Jaemin asked, his eyes shooting up to the rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of the flustered Renjun.

Ignoring him, he turned back to stare out the window. Taking everything in, from the squished stores that hugged one another, to the assortment of people on the sidewalks, to the architecture of the buildings themselves.

He realized it reminded him a bit of watching TV. It was like he was sitting on the sofa and watching a show of a tour through the blocks around their apartment.

Maybe that’s why it felt suspiciously easy?

Renjun almost felt unsettled by how easy it was. If this came so naturally to him with only slight problems, why wasn’t he able to conquer it when he went outside?

Pouting, he took hold of Jeno’s hand once more when they finally neared their apartment and pulled into the parking lot.

Once they were back upstairs and Renjun had let the two dote on him, wrapping him in a blanket cocoon and offering his favorite hot tea, he allowed himself to daydream of the outside. Of maybe, one day, being the one who drove the car instead. Being able to stop at the karaoke place and chauffer Jeno and Jaemin instead.

It became a shockingly regular occurrence, Renjun asking to go on car rides with Jaemin.

In the beginning, Jeno was always there, but it changed to even when Jeno wasn’t there and Renjun was able to triumph over the challenges of the passenger seat.

When he first sat up front, he found himself having more problems than he had expected. Jaemin ended up having to drive back right away, and he wasn’t able to finish their short drive due to the small panic attack he had had.

However, Renjun wouldn’t let that stop him.

Driving was like getting to take a sneaky look into normalcy. Renjun could stare unabashedly while no one could see him in the safety of Jaemin’s car, and he begged them to venture further and further into the city each time.

His progress shocked him all, and Donghyuck was insanely excited, making Mark drive over and be their servant for a chunk of the evening, ushering them around to some of the places close by that Donghyuck liked to go to.

He pointed out a small nail salon, the road that led to Jisung’s favorite park, and when they passed the karaoke spot Renjun had seen on his first ride, Donghyuck gestured to that too.

“I love that place. It’s pretty small, but if you get a reservation, you won’t have any trouble. Their spicy ramen and fishcakes are to _die_ for.”

“I want to go,” Renjun’s face dropped into a serious expression, staring into Donghyuck’s eyes who regarded him warily for a moment, before a plotting grin slipped across his face.

“That can be our first double date when you’re ready. We’ll team up against the others and sing them out of business. Mark is basically tone deaf so.”

“Hey! I heard that!” Mark whined from the front seat, “I’m not tone deaf!”

“I know. I love you. You’re the crooner of my dreams. A dreamboat of an artist. Your voice is the reason I wake up in the mornings,” Donghyuck responded, sappy words dripping with his overacting as he clasped his hands together and brought them to his chest, sighing.

“Never mind. You’re right I’m bad, just please stop that,” Mark muttered, eyes on the road as he turned.

“But, my love! Your voice is of the angels! Sing for us, please? Won’t you?”

“Duckie, you’re asking for it.”

Both Renjun and Donghyuck laughed at the empty threat Mark gave out, knowing that he could never so much as glare at his boyfriend these days. They were stupidly in love, and it made Renjun excited to get back home to see the two that he was falling for.

_How long do you have to know someone before you can fall in love?_

Renjun typed into the small search bar on his phone, waiting for a helpful article to pop up. He was supposed to be researching the Maldives as the lady whose dog he had painted had a friend who had liked his work. She had commissioned one from him, too. Her and her partner had spent their honeymoon at the Maldives, but their phones and camera had both gotten stolen out of the luggage on the trip back.

So, he was going to paint a portrait of them together at the Maldives.

It was a really lovely and sweet commission, but Renjun was sat here on his lazy ass searching to see if what he was feeling was love, like a prepubescent teen that popped a boner at the first bra strap he had ever seen and immediately thought he had found his soulmate.

Knocks came from his door before it opened and then Renjun was flinging his phone into the air as he lost his grasp on it. It tumbled to the ground before he flopped over the side of his bed, reaching down to hold it close to his chest, panting.

Jaemin stood in the door, hand raised and frozen as he stared, mouth open, at Renjun’s strange reaction. After taking a moment to process, Jaemin’s signature devilish expression crossed his face as he reached forward and dove for the phone in Renjun’s hand.

“No! Fuck off!” Renjun struggled, pressing a hand against Jaemin’s face to pry him away.

“Were you watching porn? You were, weren’t you? What are you hiiiiddding,” he sing-songed out, flipping Renjun over to search the messy blankets for his phone.

“Was my hand down my pants jacking myself off? No? Then I wasn’t!” Jaemin grunted as Renjun accidentally elbowed him in the gut when he wrapped his body around his phone, curled into himself.

“Then why the hell are you being so,” Jaemin tugged at Renjun’s hands that clamped around the device, “possessive and weird?”

“Who comes into someone’s room and tackles them in their bed to steal their phone?!”

“Me! I do! Now gimme!”

Jaemin made one last ditch effort that sent Renjun tumbling off his bed, landing on his tail and giving out a soft yelp. Eyes going wide, he bent down to help the smaller up and to sit back down onto the bed.

“Are you okay, baby?” Jaemin brushed his hair away from his forehead while Renjun pouted.

Sensing that this was his moment, Renjun grabbed his blanket and threw it over Jaemin’s head to stall him. He sprinted out of his room and ran down the hallway using the slippery wood and his sock covered feet to his advantage. He slid around the corner while he heard a laughing Jaemin come after him.

“Jeno! Jeno! Your boyfriend is trying to infringe on my privacy! Save me!” Renjun yelled, scaling the stairs at top speed.

He felt Jaemin’s fingertips graze his tail, so he squeaked and threw himself the rest of the way up, slipping and sliding across the floor and into the already slightly open door to their bedroom.

They were both cackling now, Jaemin having caught up and jumping on Renjun to tickle him, the phone all but forgotten. Laying in the open door, they tussled playfully, both beaming.

At the sound of the bathroom door opening, they both looked up to Jeno, faces spilt in grins.

When he looked over at the display, however, Jeno’s face didn’t change. There was a deep grimace set in his features pulling his eyebrows down, lips tight. He had his cell phone in hand and his jaw clenched.

Jaemin carefully stood up and offered a hand to Renjun in order to help him stand as well. They carefully inched forward, both looking on in apprehension at the distressed face Jeno was wearing.

“Nono?” Jaemin asked, voice small and worried.

“Well, I guess we should go ahead and call Taeil, Jaemin.” Renjun felt the other go rigid at his side, quickly looking only to see all traces of mirth seep from his face, brows set in a hard straight line.

Before he could ask, Jaemin looked to Renjun and immediately wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and tight.

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asked, voice flat.

“Oh, yeah,” Jeno scoffed, shaking his head and staring at the floor. “Very fucking sure.”

Renjun glanced back and forth in confusion. What was going on? Who was Taeil?

The looks on their faces were making his heartbeat escalate and spike in fear, the mood in the room nothing short of somber anger. Jaemin’s jaw clenched now, the muscles in his arms tensing as he pulled Renjun even closer before burying his face in the smaller’s hair and placing a kiss.

“How bad?” Jaemin asked into Renjun’s hair.

“Bad.”

“Okay, what is going on? Or are you both just going to keep talking in this weird cryptic language that I don’t understand?” Renjun spoke out in agitation, causing a deep resigned sigh to escape from Jeno’s lips.

Going over to sit on the bed, Jeno patted the spot next to him and the two crossed the space to settle against one another. Renjun placed his head on Jeno’s shoulder as the other’s strong arms circled his waist and clung to him while Jaemin petted his head from the otherside.

“Renjun?” Jeno started.

“Hm?”

“Do you remember…” he trailed off before sighing once more and swallowing deeply. “Do you remember when you overheard Jaemin and I talking and you came up here worried that we might leave you?”

How could Renjun forget it? It was the night he slept between them. Their warm embrace and bodies so close to his, he felt absolutely safe and contented. A soft, pretty blush dusted his cheeks at recalling just how affected he had been when he woke to see them both shirtless.

“Yes?”

“Do you remember what I told you might happen?” Renjun raised an eyebrow, wracking his brain. What had they talked about?

“I don’t-“

It rushed back into Renjun’s memory so harshly it felt as if he had gotten hit over the head with it. A headache began to spiral its beginnings in his head.

Did he mean?

“Do you mean… do,” Renjun swallowed, his hands slightly shaking, “do you mean the… the people who-“

“Yes Renjun,” Jeno answered, putting Renjun out of his stuttering memory. “They’re doing a will contest. They’re contesting the will, and they’re going for everything that she left me.”

“Everything?” Jaemin asked in a whisper. Both of their eyes landed on Renjun while the hybrid stared at the floor, trying to hold back his fear from trembling through him.

“Yeah. Everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think is gonna happen? °Д°


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first posted the last chapter of SIMH, I used a word that I didn't know was offensive. I said "jipped" (originally spelled gypped) in a sentence. Someone was kind enough to tell me on my curious cat what it meant, and I changed it as soon as I saw. To educate you all, I will link an article below that explains why it hurt the Romani peoples, who were often referred to as "gypsy's" which is also a word we shouldn't be using because it's an offensive slang term. 
> 
> Please read [here](https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/30/242429836/why-being-gypped-hurts-the-roma-more-than-it-hurts-you) for a full explanation on why we should banish this word from out vernacular. And please if I ever use a word or phrase that is offensive, let me know! I’m not here to be some bitch that rolls over and ignores POC and indigenous people when “small” things offend them because these things aren’t small.
> 
> Thank you again to the lovely person who reached out and was patient enough to educate me.

Things became quiet after that night. So quiet that Renjun got worried he was hearing things when someone actually spoke to him.

Jeno has been talking on the phone more often than not, but other than that?

Nothing.

Renjun was always next to one of them though. Their arms wrapped around him, or being pulled into their laps, gentle kisses pressed to his cheeks. They were gentle with him, even more so than before.

Jaemin wouldn’t rough house with him, they didn’t joke around with him, and they even became wary of when Renjun would spend too long outside on the balcony.

Even though they were both busy with their jobs, they spent much more time at home than previously. It was almost like they would trade off who would work mornings and who would work evenings, and Renjun knew that couldn’t be easy. He just hoped they weren’t risking their jobs for this.

He may not know everything about wills and laws, but Renjun was pretty sure it was still illegal to come onto someone’s property and kidnap their roommate. Call him crazy, but he didn’t think that all of their precaution was this necessary.

Was he scared? Absolutely.

He had no idea what would happen if Jeno were to lose. What would happen to him or where he would go, but the soundless state of their apartment was freaking him out even more.

So, over dinner one night, when Renjun had asked Jaemin how his shoot had gone and all he got was an ‘oh, fine’ in response, it tipped him over the edge. Slamming his hands down on their table making the empty sauce dish clink, Renjun spoke his mind.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Jeno’s eyebrows rose up into his hairline as Jaemin refused to even make eye contact.

“What-“ Jeno cleared his throat, uncomfortably, “What do you mean, Jun?” Renjun couldn’t hold back a scoff.

“What do I mean? You both know what I mean! Why are you acting like this? Like at any moment they’re going to break down our door and come in and hoist me over their shoulders and take me to a pound?” His voice rose in frustration, and even though they’re weren’t hybrid equivalents of a pound, it still caused both of the others to wince.

“It-s not, we’re not,” Jeno sighed, his head dropping down into his hands. “We _know_ they can’t do that. We know. But it’s just…” he trailed off.

“It’s just what?” Renjun asked, his voice scaling back now. “It’s just what? Tell me?”

They sat in silence while Jeno rubbed his temples with his thumbs. Jaemin still hadn’t looked up from his glass of water, simply swishing it around.

Why were they being like this? Was there something they weren’t telling him? Something that actually made this much worse than he thought, and that’s why they were being extra protective?

His mind began to spiral thinking up all the possible problems.

Maybe, they had threatened Jeno? Maybe, Jeno’s lawyer had told them that there was no way they could win? Maybe, they had brought up some weird ultimatum and were going to force them to do something if they wanted to keep Renjun with them?

Unsteady breaths wracked their way through Renjun’s chest as he got himself more and more worked up. He knew he needed to calm down. That he couldn’t continue to burst out this way at them. That it’d be much better to have a calm conversation and that he definitely should have brought this up earlier and not let himself get to this point of aggravation.

But, with his anxiety… it felt reasonable to be angry. And so, he was.

“Nothing? Really?” His voice came out much harsher than he intended, but he didn’t stop. “You guys want me to be your partner or your boyfriend or something, but you can’t even look me in the eyes and tell me what’s wrong? What? Am I too much like your child, guarding me from the world? Afraid I’ll break?” His eyes rolled harshly before they began to grow wet as he tongued the inside of his cheek begging his emotions to stay in check. “Am I a fucking pet? Is that why? No reason to tell the cat because he wouldn’t understand anyway?”

That finally caught Jaemin’s attention as his head snapped up, incredulity marring his face. Jeno’s facial expression wasn’t far off from Jaemin’s as he stared unblinking at Renjun.

Renjun knew he wasn’t like that. Their ‘pet’. He _knew_ that, so why had he said it?

“Do you really think that?” Jeno’s eyes wide as he shook his head back and forth. “Our… our pet?” The disgust was crystal clear in his voice as he said it, showing Renjun that there was no doubt that that wasn’t the case.

“Well- I…” Renjun’s eyes continued to well with unshed tears. “You guys are freaking me out! Either you’re leaving me out of the loop because something bigger is happening or you’re treating me like a fragile baby that will break at any second. Hovering over me? Not even doing _your jobs_?”

“Because we love you, god dammit!” Jaemin yelled, his own tears clinging to his eyelashes. “We love you and we’re scared shitless! We don’t know what to do. Neither of us has been in a situation like this before, and Jeno is going to have to see his family, and I feel useless, and…”

He trailed off, drops trickling down his face freely now as Renjun sat stunned, his tears matching the other’s.

They loved him?

Flicking his eyes briefly over to Jeno, Renjun saw that he was looking directly at him, his mouth in a harsh line while he rubbed small circles into Jaemin’s back.

God, why hadn’t he handled this better?

Not only did he not think about how this could possibly affect Jeno with having to see his family after all these years, but also the first time someone had said they loved him had been induced by anger.

An anger that he caused because he couldn’t calm down and be civil for a couple of minutes. He should have just asked. They would have told him.

Renjun stood up, his knee clanging against the table, making him hiss out in pain and causing Jaemin to lift his eyes. Ignoring the pain, he went to the other side of the table where the two sat and hurriedly pulled Jaemin’s hands from his face and moved in to kiss him.

Leaning into the other’s lap, Renjun held his wrists gently and softly pressed his lips against Jaemin’s slightly wet ones. He could feel tears hit his own cheeks and he tilted his head and continued to press soft pecks against his lips. The corners of his mouth, right on his lips, above and even below his mouth, Renjun kissed gently, trying to soothe Jaemin.

When Jaemin finally lowered his hands that Renjun had captured, they opened their eyes. Looking over Jaemin’s shoulder he saw Jeno’s eyes shiny just like the rest of them. Locking eyes with Jeno, Renjun sat back onto his haunches.

“I love you,” he confessed, eyes on Jeno. Turning his gaze to Jaemin, staring him dead on, “I love you.”

Finally letting go of Jaemin, he moved to Jeno whose arms were already open for him. Falling into his embrace, Renjun stuck his face into the crook of his neck and breathed shakily for a few moments before pulling back and looking into the other’s eyes.

Smiling softly, almost bitterly Renjun leaned forward and kissed Jeno, slightly deeper than Jaemin’s. He moved his lips against the other’s, even going to far as to swipe his tongue tentatively across his bottom lip, earning a gasp from him. It was the first time they had kissed in what must have been almost two weeks now.

“I love you,” he whispered into Jeno’s lips, his heart rocketing out of his chest as he continued to utter the words. He had been debating in his mind if what he had been feeling was truly love, but the way he felt? There was simply nothing else to call it.

Pulling back to caress Jeno’s face, Renjun felt Jaemin gather up behind him to loop his arms around his waist and snuggle his way into the hybrids back. He could feel his tail brushing up against the underside of Jaemin’s chin, and after a few moments he heard the pink haired boy begin to giggle at the tickle of it. Which in turn made him giggle, too.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think about what you must be going through when it comes to all this,” Renjun gestured vaguely, “family stuff. I had almost forgotten? Since, you two are my family now, I’ve become spoilt. I neglected to think about that, and I’m sorry.”

Jeno brought his hand up to caress Renjun’s cheek who leaned into the touch gratefully. He could feel Jaemin shuffle and poke his head over Renjun’s shoulder, causing Jeno to lean forward and kiss his partner gently before pulling away.

“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry I kept it from you. I just didn’t want to stress you out more on top of all this and,” he huffed out a sigh.

“We should have talked a lot sooner than this. I’m sorry I lashed out. That wasn’t very nice of me,” Renjun blushed, embarrassed. He knew Joohyun would probably be disappointed when he talked to her next; he should have known better than that.

“It’s okay baby,” Jaemin whispered, snuggling his head close to Renjun’s neck and squeezing his body tighter. “You’re right. We really should have communicated better. All of us.”

Jeno and Renjun hummed in agreement as the three of them sat there on the floor for several moments, embracing one another, not wanting to let go.

Finally, it was Jeno who broke their spell. Clearing his throat awkwardly, and leaning back onto his hands to give Renjun a hesitant look.

“Uh, Renjun?”

“Yes, Nono?” Jeno blushed at the term of endearment coming from the hybrid, since it wasn’t often he used it.

“I think, uh,” he cleared his throat, scratching at his neck uncomfortably. “If it’s okay with you? I’d like to tell you a bit about my family?” Renjun arched a curious eyebrow while Jaemin detached himself from his back and moved over to Jeno quickly, carding a hand through his hair.

“You sure you want to talk about it right now? I’m sure Renjun would understand if you need more time. Especially, since we’re all a bit wound up right now.” Crawling forward to get closer to the two, Renjun nodded encouragingly.

“Yeah, absolutely. You don’t have to tell me anything right now. I mean, I would like to know eventually because I want to know _you_ , but… really it’s fine.”

Jeno sighed, and ruffled his own hair up before he stood, kissing Jaemin on the cheek and moving to the couch. He patted the cushion on either side of him, inviting them to sit.

They both stood up and went over to the couch. Jaemin immediately clung to Jeno’s arm, and Renjun faced him, bringing one of his legs up onto the sofa while the other dangled. He reached out to grab Jeno’s hand, gripping him tightly to let him know he was here for him.

After several deep sighs, and several ruffles of his own hair, Jeno spoke.

“So, you remember how I told you, well,” he looked over his shoulder to Jaemin, since he was turned to face Renjun, “we told you, I suppose. About how my family didn’t take to me being gay very well? And how that was when I lost contact with my Grandma?” Renjun nodded solemnly, remembering how Jaemin had reacted when Renjun said Mrs. Lee had not once mentioned him, and how affected Jeno seemed to be by that news.

“Well, how it all happened was basically just like every other bad coming out story goes, I suppose. I’d always been gay, always been attracted to boys. Girls were pretty, but I was more interested in just befriending them. I had a few girlfriends, so my parents had no idea. Hell, neither did I,” he scoffed, shaking his head while he stared at the ground.

“The only thing I knew about being gay was that it was some kind of sin. I truly didn’t even know what it meant or what it involved, just that it was wrong. So, I grew up a sheltered life with a few girlfriends here and there. It never felt right when we kissed, but I figured that that was just because I wasn’t any good at it.

“When I was in high school, I had a classmate over who was assigned to be my project partner. He was really, really cute, but when I found boys cute or attractive I thought I was just appreciating their style, or… or I liked the way the held themselves, that I wanted to _be like_ them. I didn’t know I wanted to _be with_ them. How could I have?

“So, we worked on this project and we trailed off a few times because he had asked me about my girlfriend. About how did I get a girlfriend, and that he could never do that, and blah blah blah. I told him that it’s not all it’s cut out to be. That it really isn’t that great and that kissing isn’t even any fun. He laughed at me, unbelieving, but I kept reassuring him that it really was nothing to write home about.

“Then he said ‘well, how about we kiss so I can find out’. I was shocked and confused, because when he said that my heart began to race, my palms got sweaty, and butterflies rolled their way through my stomach. Rationalizing it, even though I had a girlfriend, I figured he was a boy so it didn’t count, right? I thought what I felt was just regular nerves about not being a good kisser, but when we kissed?” Jeno looked up from the carpet, his eyes sad and watery as Renjun brought his hand to his lips to kiss it gently.

“When we kissed, it was different. I finally understood what people wrote about, sung about, why people liked kissing. It was so, so different. That was the change of my life. He kept coming over even after the project was done, and he would always say ‘just so you know, I’m not gay’ before he would go to kiss me. I still wasn’t 100% sure what it meant, so I always repeated it back. And then he would spend the night and we would make out and sleep in the same bed.

“I felt so alive for the first time. But of course, good things always have an end.

“My mom, at one point, came and knocked on the door asking if we wanted snacks. We were in the middle of kissing on my bed when she saw us. I didn’t know why then, but I could feel that this was bad. What I had been doing was bad and I was going to be in so much trouble.

“Let’s just say… I finally found out what being gay meant and I was punished severely for it. So, things went back to normal. I dated girls. I did nothing else with boys. I avoided even having other male friends because I was so scared. But, when I went off to college, I got my first real boyfriend. I was away from home, so I wasn’t too worried and I loved him so much. We were together for a year until he dumped me because I refused to come out to my parents, scared of their retaliation.

“So, I spent more time alone. More time ashamed of who, of _what_ I was. And then,” a smile finally lit up his face as he turned to face Jaemin who stuck a tongue out at him. “And then I met this man right here.”

“Oh me? Your loving, amazing, adoring, caring, kind, beautiful-“

“Okay we get it,” that had all of them giggling softly, a bit of the dark mood broken.

“I met Jaemin, and I tried to avoid him. I didn’t want to be near him because he was so gorgeous and I knew I would fall for him if I wasn’t careful. I ignored him, but when he hired me to help with his modeling website and we had to spend time together… I fell. And I fell hard. I tried to go out and see girls, get another girlfriend, but nothing worked.

“My only saving grace was that I knew he was too far out of my league, so if I couldn’t stay away from him, I at least knew he would never like me back.”

“Dummy,” Jaemin chided playfully, kissing his cheek.

“Long story short, Jaemin finally got through to me and I caved. I fell head over heels, and I still am,” he smiled softly at the other. “I told him right away that I wasn’t out, and he was patient and understanding. He didn’t mind; he only wanted me to come out when I was ready. And finally, one day, I was.

“I took Jaemin home to meet my parents because I knew if they met him first they would adore him. I figured it would lessen the blow. I introduced him as a business partner, and my family loved him. Doted on him all night, laughed at his jokes, and asked me where I had been hiding him. I thought that this was perfect, that since they loved him so much this would make it easier.”

Jeno swallowed deeply, his eyes falling to the floor again as Jaemin wrapped his arms around him from behind, burying his face in his hair and kissing it.

“After we had eaten and played a few games in the living room, I told them all. Everyone was there. My mom, Dad, Aunt, both my Uncles, and my Grandma. It went silent for a bit, but my eyes locked on my Grandma first who had been smiling and sending me a soft thumbs up. I figured that that was a good sign, so when I looked back to my other family, smiling, I was in for a shock.

“My mother stood up, crossed the room and slapped me across the face. I was stunned silent. She left the room and went into my childhood bedroom and began to throw my things and break them. When I finally got it together, I stood up trying to go and stop her, to calm her down. But, my dad stopped me.

“He told me unless I wanted my ass beaten, I needed to leave and never come back.

“When I looked around the room, all of my other family was looking at me with disgust. As if I was some monster. Except for Grandma. She looked at me with sorrow and love, and it struck me still, completely unmoving. I was about to beg her to help me when I felt another sharp slap across my cheek from my mother.

“’You’re a disgrace’, ‘You’re not a part of this family’, ‘an abomination’, those were the words that were slung my way as Jaemin led me out of the house and back to the car. The front window was opened and my mother threw our family portrait of the three of us, me, her, and my dad, out and it crashed and shattered in the street.

“Almost poetic, I suppose.”

He wasn’t sure when, but Renjun had begun to cry, not noticing it until the droplets hit his hands. Bringing up his free hand, he wiped at his face, shocked to see how empty of emotion Jeno’s face was. He didn’t even look sad, per say, just… tired.

He looked tired.

“Anytime I ever tried to reach out to them again, it was nothing but radio silence. So, I eventually just stopped trying. And now, I don’t know if it will just be my aunt and uncle there, or if my parents will be there too? And if they are it’ll be the first time I’ve seen them since,” Jeno’s voice got choked up.

Renjun immediately reached out to cradle his face in his hands while Jaemin continued to hug him from behind. They let their Jeno, their strong Jeno, be weak for once. To grieve, to worry, they held him and adored him whispering praises and words of love an encouragement while he cried.

Sobs wracked through him while they held him, stroking his hair softly, rubbing small circles into his back. Both of them kissing his hair and his cheeks, tying to do anything they could to let him know he wasn’t alone. That they were there and cared for him.

When he finally began to breathe evenly again, he pulled the hem of his shirt up to wipe at his eyes, dabbing away the wetness. All three of them sat there with puffy, red eyes and when Jaemin pointed that out, they began to laugh.

Laughter rung out throughout the apartment, dancing jovially through the air, for the first time since Jeno had received that phone call. And it felt right.

“So, yeah. Um, that’s what happened. I don’t know what I’ll do if they’re there,” Jeno whispered the last part, clearing his throat to hide the slight dip in his words due to his emotions.

“I’ll be there, love. I’ll be right by your side, I promise it,” Jaemin whispered, rocking him back and forth with his eyes closed and wrapped around him. Renjun stared at the ground in thought. What could he do to help? He needed to support Jeno. Support someone he loved so deeply that, like himself, had gone through something traumatic. He had to be there for him.

“When will that be? The, uh, court thing?” Renjun asked, while Jeno sighed.

“We don’t have a date set right now. We’re still waiting for their official papers to go through that state they’re allowed to contest it or something. So, probably not for a few more weeks at the very least.”

Renjun breathed out deeply. It seemed so close, would he be able to feel better enough in time to be there for Jeno? Would it be selfish to not go? He _loved_ Jeno, so he should be there for him.

This was bigger than himself and he needed to be there for him. Jaemin had been by his side for years, but Renjun was a part of their family now. And it wasn’t about himself, so he had to try.

He would try to be there. He would try hard.

Maybe, he could bump up lessons with Joohyun to more than once a week? He could try and sell more of his paintings to pay for it himself. If he worked hard enough, he knew he’d be able to hold Jeno’s other hand there with him in court.

But first, he had to get better. Had to conquer that fear.

“Well, who wants to go for a drive? I’m tired of sitting inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry things are still sad, please don't hate me hhhhhh ;;
> 
> If you want to ask me anything or send me a message, here is my [curious cat!](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> with this update I pass 100k words.... im in shock I honestly had no idea it would ever get here. if you’re still reading I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

When it rains, it pours.

Both literally and figuratively it seems.

The next several days had gotten much better communication wise between the three of them. Sure, there was still a heavy atmosphere that clung to the air, but things were better.

Renjun could talk to the other two normally, they would joke back, and whenever one of them went a bit more quiet than usual, someone else would always be there for them. Whether it was Jeno comforting a scared Renjun before a bath, Jaemin holding Jeno on the balcony, or Jeno kissing Jaemin softly to let him know he would be alright.

They were just there for one another.

But, they should have talked more.

Renjun was really getting himself into trouble with his lack of communication. In his defense, it had slipped his mind due to the more pressing things going on around them.

The rain hadn’t let up for what must have been a full two days now. Jaemin and Renjun were pulling in the small plants they kept on the upper balcony, worried about them getting far too much water.

If Jaemin’s succulents died, it would be hell for all of them, so it didn’t take much convincing for Renjun to get up from his blanket pile and help the other.

The wind was blowing fairly hard, making the rain come in at an angle, so the two of them were now damp. Uncomfortably damp. Like Renjun’s fur on his ears and tail felt disgusting kind of damp.

It was like he was a wet dog, and he was not happy at all.

Pouting, Renjun coerced Jaemin into starting the bath water for him while he grabbed a change of clothes.

Nearing dinner time, he knew that Jeno would be home soon, and Renjun was excited. It hadn’t been the three of them since the day where Renjun had snapped and Jeno had told him his story. It hurt his heart to see his boyfriend that way.

Boyfriend? Partner? Lover?

Renjun gagged at the last one. It sounded way too cheesy.

Dammit, he really needed to sit down and clarify if they had titles or not because they had already said that they loved each other. He should probably know if they were in an official relationship yet or not.

Climbing the stairs to go to Jeno and Jaemin’s bathroom, Renjun waited patiently outside of the door until he heard the loud rushing sounds of water stop.

Maybe, he would be able to tell Joohyun about this running water fear too, seeing as it was a hassle for Renjun to always call someone over to help him whenever he wanted to wash up.

Opening the door slowly, Jaemin was bent over the tub, hand stirring the water to check the temperature. Renjun crossed right behind him to sit his clean clothing down on the counter before turning to the shelves to grab a clean fluffy towel.

He quickly rid himself of his wet, clinging shirt he had been in, damp from rain and hung it up on one of their empty towel bars to dry.

When he turned back around, he saw Jaemin smirking at him, obviously running his eyes up and over his bare torso and… oh no. He was definitely going to say some kind of cheesy-

“So, I noticed you don’t like water. Would you like me to hold you in the bath so you don’t get scared?”

-pick up line.

“Oh my god, Jaemin. I know you want to see me naked, but can’t you be more suave about it? I deserve to be charmed,” he huffed, sticking his nose up in the air to feign indifference. When really he was anything but.

Renjun’s mind began to wander, thinking about taking a bath with Jaemin. Them making the bathroom fog up only for Jeno to finally come back home. His tie and shirt loose, buttons down, as he walked into the room to see them naked and grinding against one another- oh no.

“I’m sorry, Princess. Let me make it up to you,” Jaemin purred, sauntering forward to rest his hands on Renjun’s hips where his skin was beginning to burn.

When Jaemin leant down to bring their lips together, Renjun knew he was K.O’d. An absolute goner.

Flames licked their way up his insides as a firm grip settled on the back of Renjun’s neck, tilting his head to open his lips, pliable for Jaemin’s taking. Their tongues stroked one another, and Renjun tried to mimic what he had been taught, but he found it much easier to let Jaemin simply take over and lead him.

The way the other was sucking on his lips, playfully nibbling and pulling them back, Renjun couldn’t help but to shiver. His body was wrecked with goosebumps and his blood pressure must have been through the roof. He blushed something fierce as Jaemin removed his lips and ducked down to begin to suck at the exposed skin of Renjun’s collarbones like he was determined to mark him.

To prove that he was his. Just Jeno and Jaemin’s alone.

And that thought was what did it.

Whimpers began to spill out of Renjun’s mouth, as he felt a blush crawl up his neck, his cheeks, his ears and the tips of his fingers on fire.

Mind going blank, Renjun tilted his head as far back as he possibly could, letting Jaemin ravage as much of his body as he wanted.

He simply wanted to submit. The way that Jaemin was talking to him and marking him caused something instinctual to stir. He trusted Jaemin, so his body easily went lax in the taller’s arms, letting himself be kissed and sucked however the other so wished to.

“Hm, what happened to all that sass? Got nothing to say now?” Jaemin’s voice was harsh but teasing as he bit into Renjun’s neck, sucking harshly. Okay, he was definitely going to have some hickies.

Legs shaking and knees on the verge of collapsing, heat continued to burn brighter and brighter throughout his limbs. It didn’t hurt like it usually did; in fact, everywhere Jaemin touched it felt nearly euphoric, like it was exactly what he wanted. What he needed.

Rubbing his legs together, Jaemin pulled back mischief across his face as he stared at the gasping and wriggling absolutely flushed boy in front of him. Jaemin almost looked impressed by how easy it had been to rile him up to this degree, but he could tell it was different when Renjun began to speak.

“Please, Jaemin. Don’t let go,” Renjun grasped, leaning forward to press himself against the other’s body, shivering at the touch.

“Injunnie? Are you okay?”

Renjun grumbled something close to a whimper, and clamped his eyes shut. Dammit, why hadn’t they talked about this? Especially now that they were…

Gulping in worry, he had to say something before he got too bad. Too far into it.

“Jaemin?” Renjun called the other, his voice coming out as a breathy whisper that made Jaemin’s mouth gape slightly.

“Yeah,” he breathed, rearranging them so that he was supporting most of Renjun’s weight.

“Heat,” Renjun’s brow furrowed as the real hotness made itself present.

“Oh. Oh! Oh god, okay. Okay, uh. Wow we should have talked about this? Wait, Jeno will be home soon, uh, what do we do? What do you want?” Jaemin’s eyes were big with worry and something that simmered beneath the surface, like anticipation. Renjun didn’t want to disappoint them, but… he just didn’t want his first time to be this way.

“I want,” he shivered, “I want you two to help me?” Jaemin’s eyes immediately darkened, his hands tightening around Renjun’s thin arms. “But, I don’t- I don’t want to go all the way?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, of course baby. Of course, whatever you want!”

“It’s just,” Renjun groaned, his body was almost propelling him forward to Jaemin. He needed his touch he craved this closeness. “I just want my first time with you both to be, you know, not like this.” He chuckled trying to lighten the mood, making Jaemin smile softly.

“I understand, baby. Is there anything else you _don’t_ want to do or try? We want to be there for you and help you, but what’s most important is how you’re feeling.

“Ugh, but I don’t just want you two to help me again! I wanna, like, help you both too?” Renjun’s voice got small towards the end, realizing he should probably be embarrassed by what he was saying.

“Uh. We can do that,” Jaemin answered softly, “We’ll help you learn and everything.”

His mind had barely begun to drift towards the idea of returning the favor when he felt it. The tell tale sign of his heat. An ever present wetness that during the next couple of days that would be there to haunt and bother him. Begging him to be filled by something, anything, only to be dissatisfied by his smaller fingers.

But now…

Renjun’s eyes shot down to Jaemin’s hands, inspecting how long his digits were compared to Renjun’s own. And he knew that Jeno’s were just as big, but a bit rougher and- _oh god._

Normally it wasn’t this bad unless he was right in the middle, the peak of it. But, his body was yearning, dying to be touched and felt by the two he loved. And he needed it soon because the half hug Jaemin was giving him right now was starting to not cut it anymore.

Heat skyrocketed trough his abdomen and stomach, making him almost double over while the inside of his thighs began to get wet from just how bad it was this time. The shorts he had on were still damp from rain, so now accompanied with this?

Damn, he really wished he could have gotten that bath.

“Okay, love. What should I do, hm?”

“I dunno, but it’s starting to hurt and,” Renjun swallowed, noticing his throat was already getting a bit dry.

“Hm, okay.” Jaemin let go of him and turned around to crouch down. “Get on my back, I don’t want to leave you, but I need to get some things together.”

“Okay…” Renjun breathed out, shakily stepping forward and latching himself onto Jaemin like a koala.

When the taller’s arms circled back to support Renjun’s butt, he couldn’t hold back the small moan that froze Jaemin in place as he had begun to lift him up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah just- just you know. Just go, please,” he tried to explain, finding words harder and harder to get out.

Jaemin went down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, pulling the large water bottles they used for these occasions out. He maneuvered them around and down the hallway, grabbing the towels from Renjun’s bathroom before crossing over to place them on his bed in his room.

He guessed it made sense that he would still go through his heat in his bedroom, but it would be a lie to say he hadn’t secretly hoped to have shared their bed.

But, heats were messy and gross, so he understood.

Jaemin walked back down the hallway, Renjun’s tail flicking as he shuddered every so often, trying to press himself as flat as he could to get closer to the other’s body.

When he spotted his phone, Jaemin snatched it up and took them back to the room, placing Renjun on the bed by gently lowering him off of his back. He didn’t let Renjun alone for one second, as he quickly turned and pulled the panting hybrid close while he opened his phone to make a call.

“Jeno,” Renjun heard through his heat addled mind. He was so hard it hurt and maybe he had begun to shamelessly rut against Jaemin’s leg, pretending that it wasn’t obvious.

“Are you almost home?...Huh? Oh yeah, thank god. It’s Renjun he- No, no he’s fine. Yeah, he’s in heat. Yeah. Okay, good. Bye, love you.”

Jaemin’s phone went dark, and he gently placed it on the ground before turning to a pink faced, pink chested Renjun who was pitching a very obvious tent that Jaemin’s eyes couldn’t seem to leave.

“Okay, let me just,” Jaemin scooted towards the end of the bed and grabbed one of the towels to put underneath Renjun, making sure to not let go once.

Once he was situated, he began to stroke the short bangs out of the smaller’s eyes, before leaning to press a kiss to Renjun’s forehead, causing a soft groan to escape his lips.

“Can you hand me some water, please?” Renjun’s voice came out small and already scratchy.

Jaemin obliged by quickly picking up the nearest bottle he had filled and handed it to Renjun who sat up and took a drink, the arm supporting his body wavering slightly. He took several large gulps before handing the bottle back to Jaemin and letting himself fall onto his pillows, face up and staring towards the ceiling

His breathing was harsh, as he brought his hands up, the backs of them resting atop his eyes as he continued to swallow every so often. He could feel Jaemin’s eyes on his small frame inhaling and exhaling quickly, thankful for the soft touches he was providing in his hair at the very least.

But, it just wasn’t enough and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait because, dammit, it was getting even worse. It was like his body knew he had people here to help him, so it was okay to make him extra uncomfortable. Like his heat was chiding him.

“Nana?” Renjun groaned out. “Please? Something, just, please… anything. I can’t-“ his sentence broke off with a whine as another wave of wetness began to drip from him, his body obviously more than ready.

“What do you want, baby?”

Groaning, Renjun pulled his hands from his eyes, turning his head to look at the other whose eyes were hooded as he leaned on his left arm to hover slightly above Renjun.

“Just something? Even something small, it won’t take much. Just hurts,” Renjun sniffled out the last part as his stomach tightened harshly and painfully.

“Okay. Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Jaemin shushed him, as he began to slowly maneuver himself on top of the smaller, arms bracketing his head with his knees planted on either side of Renjun’s hips.

He craned his neck downwards and began to place feathering kisses across his torso, making Renjun gasp beneath him, arching upwards into the touch his body begging, _pleading_ for more.

“Nana,” Renjun whispered when he placed a chaste kiss on one of his nipples before leaning down to suck it briefly, making the smaller jolt with surprise and pleasure.

He moaned loudly as Jaemin continued to kiss his chest, and he could feel the torment of his heat begin to seep steadily from his body, replaced with the same euphoric feeling he had experienced earlier with Jaemin’s kisses.

Pulling back from Renjun’s body, Jaemin cocked his head to the side and smiled leisurely as he leaned back on his knees in order to use his thumbs to rub across his buds now. Renjun was squirming and wiggling, unable to stop himself. Did it always feel this good to touch your nipples? Because if so, wow.

“Hm, do you think you can come just from this?” Jaemin spoke so quietly, if Renjun didn’t know better he would have thought he was talking to himself. But, he didn’t have an answer for him.

Renjun wanted to try though.

“Dunno, maybe,” Renjun panted out before keening in a high pitch as Jaemin pinched them and began to roll them deliriously slow between his fingers.

“Okay.”

Jaemin leaned back down to attach his mouth to the right one, pinching and rolling the other in his hand. He had to use his hips to press down against Renjun’s pelvis as he kept squirming underneath his touch, legs floundering and writhing at the feeling he was so unused to.

When he pressed down, he brought their crotches together and grinded them. Renjun wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but when Jaemin saw the way Renjun tossed his head backwards, the column of his neck exposed as he panted, he began to do it again and again.

Well, Renjun may not know if he could come alone from just his nipples, but add grinding on top of that?

His back arched as his hands came up to grab and pull the sleeves of Jaemin’s t-shirt harshly. Not able to get his words out, Renjun brought their hips together once more, earning a small moan from Jaemin as he grinded his orgasm out onto him.

After taking in several deep breaths and detaching Jaemin’s lips from his chest, Renjun pulled him upwards to kiss him passionately before letting his head relax again. He was already beginning to shift back and forth underneath the kisses Jaemin was pressing against his neck.

“Jaem?” His voice sounded wrecked, like he had just taken on a whole bathhouse of dicks, not just gotten his nipples pinched and grinded in his shorts a bit. It was, honestly, embarrassing.

“Hm?”

“Can I take these off? They’re so gross and the rain too, so they’re extra damp and I just-“

“Of course, baby,” Jaemin shifted back up and moved back a bit to pull Renjun’s shorts off before tossing them into the hamper across the room. Sending Renjun a questioning look before staring down to his underwear and then up again, the hybrid nodded, burying his face in his hands and lying still.

He was about to be stark ass naked, soaked to the core, raging boner-ified in front of Jaemin, and he was sure that most of the heat that lingered in his body right now was from embarrassment.

While Jaemin pulled his underwear down, Renjun refused to look, only lifting his feet when prompted to by the other.

And then he was absolutely naked.

Sitting there and waiting for Jaemin to do something, anything, was making his body heat up even more, and he could feel himself hardening again under the intense eyes of the other which he was positive were roaming over his nakedness.

Right when Renjun was about to yell at the other for just sitting there and making him die from embarrassment, he felt the bed shift.

Something wet and hot came into contact with his length, sliding up the underside from the base all the way to the tip before it was enveloped with a slick tight hole that he couldn’t resist thrusting up into.

Renjun’s eyes flew open, as he gasped so loud he almost choked, his head lifting to stare and see what was happening. Jaemin had Renjun’s cock buried in his mouth, just like Jeno had, taking it all the way down to the hilt, as his big doe eyes stared up at him. His hands flew into Jaemin’s hair, grabbing the pink strands, as his legs bent upwards, feet flat on the bed and spread lightly.

“Jaemin,” Renjun whined, “wha-“

Jaemin, still looking at him, began to fuck himself down onto Renjun, having no trouble at all taking him into his throat and swallowing, moaning, and drooling quite a bit, adding to what was already a mess between his legs. He grabbed both of Renjun’s thighs, and spread them much wider, as he pulled off to pant a couple times before beginning to bob once more.

Renjun couldn’t lay still, his legs would spasm, his stomach clenching, making him curl up slightly, his hands going from gripping Jaemin’s hair to the bed sheets and back again. His mind was so lost to the pleasure, that he didn’t notice the door opening until Jeno was in the room and gasping at the sight before him.

Looking up, mouth parted and eyes hooded, his hands buried deep into Jaemin’s hair as he moved his mouth up and down again and again working over his cock, Renjun looked to Jeno who looked back with such want and lust that it tipped Renjun over. He couldn’t have warned Jaemin even if he wanted to, it hit him so hard and fast.

He actually screamed when he came this time, the hardest he ever had in his entire life. His thighs tried to clamp themselves together because he was just feeling _so much._ Good thing they were being held down by Jaemin, or else he more than likely would have squashed his head between them.

Watching Jaemin’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed Renjun’s release made him whine and his body shake, as it seemed to come down to a normal temperature. Even though all he had done was lay there, Renjun still felt as if he had swam to the Antarctic Ocean, ran wind sprints around Antarctica, and then swam all the way back.

Maybe that was a bit of an over exaggeration, but Renjun couldn’t seem to stop his chest from heaving. His lips slick with spit and a puffy pink color, just like his cheeks and chest. His drooping eyes were still focused on Jeno whose mouth was ajar while he stared between Jaemin, who was wiping his lips, to Renjun who was pliant and sprawled out across the sheets.

They probably needed to change the towel out from underneath him to a new clean one.

Renjun’s pain was absolutely gone, the fire in his bones put out by Jaemin’s amazing blowjob skills.

“Are both of you unable to close your mouths, or?” Jaemin poked fun at the two boys who were still mostly frozen, lips unable to close.

“Sorry, that was just probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen before,” Jeno cleared his throat while he adjusted his tie and looked to Jaemin who had begun to walk over to his partner.

“Welcome,” Jaemin whispered, before leaning into Jeno, and kissing him deeply. Renjun could see Jaemin’s tongue working over Jeno and he realized he could probably taste Renjun’s…

Groaning, Renjun shut his eyes and covered his face once more, bringing his legs to close together while pretending that more wetness wasn’t spilling out of him. Still turned on even though he had been relieved of his need for at least awhile.

“Shy again, baby?” He heard Jaemin’s voice tease, as Renjun rolled over on his side, trying to hide himself from their prying eyes. Which maybe hadn’t been the brightest of ideas, because he turned his body so that his ass was perfectly on display, the underneath and inside of his thighs glistening and prepared.

When he heard gasps, he turned his head back to the other two whose eyes’ were locked in and targeted on his butt. Squeaking, Renjun flipped back over and grasped the blankets hauling them up to cover his body as he began to shiver from being exposed.

It was a strange thing, feeling sort of cold while he was in heat. He’s never once experienced it before. No wonder Hyuck had always had Mark help him out; it was infinitely better.

“How you feeling, Junnie?” Jeno asked, his expression far too soft for what had just transpired.

“Good, I-“ his eyes shot to a smug looking Jaemin, before flicking back to Jeno. “I’ve never felt this good during a heat before. I even feel kind of cold.”

“Whoa,” Jaemin said, astonished. “Are my blowjobs that good?”

Renjun picked up his pillow and chunked it across the room, missing Jaemin and smacking an unsuspecting and innocent Jeno instead.

“I’m so sorry!”

“Agh, it’s okay, Junnie.”

Renjun was completely satiated and felt almost like normal for the rest of the night. His body temperature was barely above average, and besides being a bit extra cuddly, it really didn’t feel like he was having his heat at all.

It was honestly amazing, and there was no way Renjun was ever going back to solo heats again.

At one point, he woke up in the middle of the night groaning and in pain. He texted Jeno and Jaemin in their new group chat titled ‘needy heat baby’ (Jaemin picked the name, if you couldn’t tell) and Jeno came in, quickly stroking him to completion and then cuddled him back to sleep.

And it was just an absolute dream come true.

He was in love? And his heat wasn’t being a bitch? AND he got to get all up close and personal with Jeno and Jaemin?

It was peak Renjun happiness.

Jaemin had a meeting with some brands the next day, so Jeno decided to work from home, pulling one of the bean bags into his office, a full water bottle, and a plethora of blankets so he could keep an eye on Renjun.

Before Renjun had even truly woken up, Jeno had carried him into said office, planting him into the bean bag and tucking him back in which he gratefully accepted, dozing off once more almost immediately.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep, but of course the heat came crawling back. It started first as him being in a desert in his dream, unable to find shade or water. It continued to get hotter and hotter until his body finally woke him with a gasp.

Dead asleep, Renjun hadn’t realized he must have been needy for awhile because his symptoms rocketed through him at full force.

Rivulets of sweat cascading down his back, his hair slightly matted from sweat, and he just knew this bean bag was in trouble. If it wasn’t washable, it would definitely be ruined from the amount of wetness he was currently sitting in.

Vision hazy, Renjun lifted his head, noting the empty office chair and no Jeno in sight.

Where was he? Dammit, Renjun didn’t have his phone on him either.

Attempting to stand, Renjun’s legs shook unstably and made his body fall to the floor only a few inches from the bean bag, still wrapped in blankets.

Quickly wrestling the blankets off of him, Renjun stripped his shirt that had clung to his body. He looked around, spotting his water bottle only a couple of feet away.

Downing half of it in one go, Renjun began to get overwhelmed in the horrible way when he was alone. His body was rebelling at the fact that no one was near him, touching him.

“Jeno?” Renjun’s voice crackled out, not nearly as loud as he needed it to be to get anyone’s attention. Jeno could be upstairs in the shower for all Renjun knew.

Clearing his throat, Renjun opened his mouth to try and yell his name, but instead a deep cramp of want, of _need_ , took over his body. Whimpering, he curled up in a ball, tugging his shorts and underwear off in one go.

It was getting far too hot. If Jeno wasn’t near, he needed to help himself at least. Everything just hurt so badly; his skin felt like it might melt off at the fire that licked its way up his limbs.

Turning over onto his tummy, Renjun cried softly as he tried to reach behind himself with weak arms to play over the edge of his rim. Neither Jeno nor Jaemin had touched him there yet, but honestly, it was the place where he craved contact most.

Stupid biology.

Biology that made taking it up the ass feel so damn good.

Pressing down to where only the tip of his finger snuck past the ring of muscle, Renjun’s thighs began to shake in anticipation. His body was still overcome with heat, but it had lessened itself to a bearable pain at the very least.

Sliding the rest of the way in, only really able to barely reach his second knuckle, he huffed and brought his knees up under himself. He spread his cheeks with his left hand so his right one could reach better to where he needed it to.

In this position, it was easier to thrust the finger in and out in a faster, deeper way. It still wasn’t exactly what Renjun craved, but it would do. He had done this a couple times now, so he knew how to take care of himself.

Begging his shaky legs to not clamp together, he picked up his pace feeling the beginnings of the familiar coil tightening its way through his core. It would still take a bit more to push him over, so Renjun breathed out as his middle finger began to join his pointer.

He had only ever taken two of his fingers, and honestly, he could tell the huge difference whenever he added it.

And maybe, he preferred two over one. Cause it felt bigger. He needed bigger.

Thrusting the two shallowly in and out, his rim clenching each time he went slightly deeper, his insides clamping down on his own fingers, Renjun knew he could bring himself to the edge this way.

Panting now, he was unable to close his lips, each inward thrust of his fingers pushing soft, floaty ‘ah’s from his mouth.

He was close, he could feel it, he was so close that it hurt, but his body had gotten spoilt by the other’s affections and touches. It was being stubborn and wasn’t allowing him to reach his orgasm; teasing him with relief only to snatch it away the harder he worked for it.

Tears began to collect in the corners of his eyes in frustration. Why hadn’t he brought his phone when Jeno had carried him here?

Whimpering at yet another unsuccessful attempt at climaxing, Renjun let his forehead rest against the floor as he gasped. His wrist was starting to ache and he didn’t know what else to do.

As he went to reach for his bright pink and dripping cock, he heard the door open.

Turning his head, still ass up, to look at the door, he saw Jeno there frozen still. Renjun was literally presenting straight towards the door, hand, ass, and hole glistening while his fingers had stopped moving inside of him.

His eyes were blown out, chest and forehead sweaty, while he let out an ungodly moan at the sight of Jeno and how his eyes were glued to his body

_Finally. Took him long enough._

“Holy shit,” Jeno exclaimed at the sight of Renjun, ass spread out right in front of him, breathless.

“Jeno. Ughn, need you. Please, Nono- Please, hurts,” Renjun pathetically whined, trying to rock back on his fingers. Jeno snapped out of his haze and immediately crossed the room to kneel behind Renjun, his hands coming up to caress his lower back. The touch took the edge off the pain right away, making him sigh in relief.

“What do you need, love? Want me to blow you? Another handjob?” Renjun shook his head, because while those things were lovely, Jeno was on his knees behind his ass that he was spreading and stuffing two of his fingers in.

He craved something else.

“No,” Renjun gasped as he curled his fingers inside of himself. “Here… please?”

“Uhhh, where exactly?” Jeno’s voice came out high pitched, and Renjun wasn’t having it. He would not wait any longer.

Slipping his digits out of his hole, he reached up and grabbed the hand that Jeno had placed on Renjun’s lower back, right above his tail. With his slicked up hand he brought the other’s fingers down lower and pressed them gently to his own rim.

They gasped in tandem. Jeno at the slick feeling and Renjun at being touched there by someone else for the first time. He hadn’t even moved his fingers yet, but Renjun was already keening and mewling, his hips wiggling in the air for more.

“You sure?” Renjun could see the deep swallow from Jeno as his pupils dilated.

“Yes, Jeno please!” He half yelled, begging.

Jeno shuffled closer on his knees, settling himself directly behind Renjun who brought his other hand up to his other cheek, now spreading them both open to put himself on display to Jeno. All he wanted was for the other to take him, but he was moving so slowly. As Jeno traced soft circles around his rim, his other hand dancing across his lower back, Renjun began to whine restlessly.

“I know you’re in heat right now, so I’ll excuse it, but we’re going to have to teach you how to be a good boy, hm? So impatient.”

Renjun couldn’t help the guttural moan that fell from his mouth, eyelids fluttering closed as he relaxed against the floor, face pressed against the carpet. There was something about when Jeno or Jaemin would take over or become more dominant, specifically during his heat, that really got to Renjun. Probably something to do with hormones and instinct.

Jeno pressed his hand down that was in the dip of his back, making Renjun arch up further, his ass spread and high in the air for the taking. He heard a sharp intake of breath from the other as Renjun tried his hardest to be still and not whine, trying to please him.

Finally, a pressure was applied to his rim, Jeno’s thicker finger slipping through, causing Renjun’s hands to shake where he held himself open for the other. He simply thrusted back and forth rhythmically for a second, before withdrawing and putting another finger in beside the first.

“Ah!” Renjun gasped, Jeno’s fingers were bigger than his, that’s for sure. They were also rougher, and he could feel the drag of his calloused skin against his insides.

“Shit, Injun. What the hell, you’re so tight. Are you okay?” Jeno cursed, voice strained but still sprinkled with concern. Renjun could feel his eyelids quivering, brain turning to mush at the slow, but rough drag against his insides.

“Nono, please, please, please,” he pleaded over and over again, as Jeno pushed his back even farther into an arch. It was a good thing Renjun was flexible because Jeno wedged his knees apart and he could feel the mild stretch in the inside of his thighs.

“I’m going to go deeper, okay? If it hurts tell me right away.” Renjun could only moan in response, anticipation rising.

Jeno must have only been as deep as his first knuckle because when he began to push deeper, Renjun wondered if it would ever stop. Parts of him that he didn’t know could be touched felt tight and filled.

It was a new experience, and Renjun was grateful for his heat allowing his entrance to be softer and soaking wet.

“Okay, I’m going move now. Feeling okay?”

“Yes,” he exhaled, waiting for the other to move.

He felt pressure as Jeno pushed his fingers downwards slightly and began to shallowly thrust there, Renjun gasped so loud that Jeno stopped for a moment before he hissed at him to keep going. It felt nice, but it also felt a bit strange due to the way Jeno was prodding around inside of him.

Like he was looking for his lost keys or something.

“Maybe, is it different if- Oh! Perfect,” Jeno was mumbling to himself before Renjun’s back was curling upwards in a yelp and clenching harshly onto the fingers inside of him.

He had a vague idea of what had just happened, but his mind was whirling too hard to process it.

“Jeno, oh god, jeno. Please again,” Renjun whimpered, burying his head into his arms as his breath escaped him.

Thrusting his fingers downwards again, Renjun cried out every time they hit all the way deep before pulling out, again and again and again. His hands scrambled for purchase on the carpet, trying to cling to anything.

Jeno slowly pressed the small of his back down once more, getting Renjun to arch into his fingers and _oh fucking hell_.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah,” Renjun cried out in sync with the thrusts. The bowed position of his back allowing Jeno hit the spot that just felt too good be true, dead on.

An orgasm ripped itself from Renjun, his legs wavering as he tried to keep himself up and not fall to the floor.

In an effort to grab Renjun, Jeno accidentally grabbed the very base of his tail and pulled gently. Renjun’s ass clamped down harder, pressing Jeno’s fingers once again into him just perfectly, edging him into overstimulation territory.

“Oh, Jeno. Oh.”

“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to grab-“

“No, so good. I had no idea- Fuck,” Renjun gulped because he might have really enjoyed the tugging on the base of his tail. It arched upwards, the dark brown tip swaying in the air, contentedly as if to beg Jeno to tug it again.

“Hm, you’ll probably need at least one more, right?”

Before Renjun could answer, Jeno was grinding his fingers directly into him into that same, mind numbing spot. This time he couldn’t hold his body up, but thankfully Jeno was there to support his weight. His large hand spread across his taught stomach, almost reaching the whole way from one side of his waist to the other.

Jeno didn’t let up, continuing to just circle and press harshly against his insides, not even bothering to thrust while Renjun squirmed and panted, gasping out Jeno’s name over and over again.

“Good?” Jeno whispered, leaning over Renjun’s back. There was no way he could get out anything else besides a high pitched whine, “It’s really cute how squirmy you are. You just feel too good, huh? Don’t know what to do about it?”

 _Good god_.

He recalled hearing how harsh and loud Jeno’s grunts and thrusts has sounded that one night, punching the whines out of Jaemin’s mouth, like he hadn’t been able to keep quiet even if he tried. And Renjun fully understood now.

Jeno was completely different in bed than he was otherwise.

A kiss was placed in the center of his back before Jeno wrapped his arm further around Renjun to grab his waist and pull his ass back against his clothed, and very interested, cock. He began to actually thrust again and if Jeno hadn’t been securely holding him, Renjun was sure he would have wriggled himself away because it was so much.

He just felt so much. If this is what it felt like to get fucked, sign Renjun up.

Soft grunts came out of Jeno’s mouth, as he focused on finger fucking the other, making sure the angle was perfect each time. The music of Renjun’s gasps and moans were absorbed into the plush carpet, where he tried to bury his face, before Jeno lifted him upwards.

“No, baby. Let me hear you hm?”

Renjun wailed as Jeno brought his body up to press the hybrid’s back against his front, both of them settled on their knees. Knocking his legs farther and farther apart, Jeno turned his wrist to get a better angle before driving back inside of him harshly.

Mind completely fucked out, Renjun’s mouth gaped open as he whined, his poor cock throbbing and twitching, wet with a mix of his cum from his last orgasm and new precum that had beaded on the head when Jeno began to finger fuck him again.

Groaning, Renjun turned his head and began to sloppily kiss Jeno’s neck for only a few moments before he came once more, trapping Jeno’s fingers inside of him, not willing to let go as his body spasmed, trying to come down.

Soft kisses were pressed to his cheek and in his hair, while he felt the fingers finally slip from his body. He felt so empty and strangely opened, with an uncomfortable vacancy that felt incorrect inside of him.

“Let’s get you to drink some water, okay?” Jeno whispered, his own breath coming out shaky while Renjun tried to respond, unable to utter more than a few strangled groans.

He felt himself being maneuvered and possibly lifted, while he tried to get his head on straight. Jeno carried him somewhere and he knew for sure we was being cleaned up, which he greatly appreciated considering just how wet he had been at the end of everything.

It felt like his mind didn’t truly come back to him until they were both changed and cuddling on the couch, Jeno having ordered pizza to be delivered.

“I still think it’s not fair. How am I gonna learn?” Renjun pouted, picking Jeno’s arm up to pull it around his shoulders hiding his blush.

“Hm? Learn what, Junnie?” Renjun sighed, wondering why his stomach still did flips at the cute nickname when he had literally just had his fingers up his ass.

“You guys keep helping me, but I haven’t helped either one of you yet.”

“Oh! Oh that. Well, you were in pain and it was really intense earlier, maybe we can save that until after your heat?” Renjun grumbled underneath his breath.

“Maybe, I dunno. I wanna do it,” he continued to mutter, tone upset, causing Jeno to belly laugh.

“You’re reminding me so much of Jaemin right now. Pouting because you don’t get to help us get off? Why is that strangely adorable?”

Sighing, Renjun laid his head backwards onto the couch. He felt extremely satisfied and his body temperature was back to normal. Sure, his abdomen and limbs were still vaguely aching, but that might have been from getting pounded by Jeno’s fingers.

He had to shake his head to stop himself from reliving it, not wanting to soil their couch by bringing on another wave of his heat.

“Maybe,” Renjun started, mumbling and twiddling his thumbs. “Maybe, if when Jaemin gets back? And another wave hits? Maybe then?...Maybe?”

It was quiet as Renjun’s eyes stayed locked on his fingers, waiting for Jeno’s answer. But, the silence dragged on, so he eventually looked up at the other’s face.

Jeno’s eyes were dark before he cocked his head.

“You want us that bad?” Renjun gulped.

“Yeah,” he answered, his voice coming out small and soft.

“Hm okay, Junnie,” Jeno’s demeanor shifted more towards his normal self as he pressed a kiss behind Renjun’s right ear causing it to flick slightly. “I’ll let Jaemin know. That’ll probably get him home a lot quicker anyways,” he giggled.

Swallowing, Renjun wondered if maybe he should wait. Could he take the both of them at the same time? What did that even… entail?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jeno asked softly, eyes on Renjun’s furrowed brow.

“Will I have to put both of your dicks in my mouth at once?”

The air went still before Jeno’s eyes crinkled and a cute laugh rang out, making Renjun smile at the sight. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Renjun’s lips.

“Only if you want to,” he continued to giggle, obviously joking.

“Well. I want to,” Renjun replied, his eyebrow arching and tone serious, causing Jeno’s laughter to pause and his lips to form a small ‘o’.

“Well.... dammit, Jaemin better get home soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This my apology for making the last couple of chapters stressful! 7K of pretty much pure smut lmao, I hope you all enjoyed ^^"
> 
> Also, I think I've narrowed down what I want my next fic to be to two choices. Either a college au or a modern Prince au, both RenMin. If you're planning on sticking around for my other works, I'd appreciate your input on which one you'd like more! 
> 
> Feel free to say hi to me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)
> 
> and if you’re too shy to comment about the smut, you can also ask me questions/ tell me things on my [curious cat~](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal) <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 110k words... ha ha
> 
> how did this happen

After Jeno and Renjun ate their pizza, Jeno not letting the other fall asleep until he at least finished what was on his plate, they went up to the master bedroom and fell asleep in their bed.

Well, Renjun had fallen asleep, body exhausted, while Jeno gathered his laptop and sat in their chaise trying to finish his work for the day.

Jaemin arrived little more than an hour later, his eagerness and loud excited singing startling Renjun from his nap. As he bolted straight up in the bed due to Jaemin flinging the door open and screaming ‘honey, I’m home’, he became immediately annoyed.

Exhaustion still lived in his bones, weighing his body and eyelids down. So, as Jaemin slowly took in the scene and realized what he had done, Renjun gave him the best pissed off look he could muster while his eyes were blurred with sleep and his heat.

“I’m so sorry! Oh my god, go back to sleep. Oh Jeno, you’re working, too? Ah, sorry- sorry!” Jaemin whisper yelled, his hands coming up as he tip-toed to their dresser, placing his work bag near it.

Renjun raised his fists to lazily rub at his eyes, a giant yawn escaping him while his tail stretched out behind him. Jaemin caught his gaze, the smallest of pouts on his lips while the other blinked sleepily.

“You are so fucking cute, it’s an absolute crime,” Jaemin whispered, shaking his head incredulously.

“If I’m so cute, why could I hear you scream singing something about how you were going to get you dick sucked as you came up the stairs?”A ferocious blush spread across the other’s face and neck as Jeno let out a choked off snort of laughter.

“I-I thought you’d be in your room?”

“If you think that yelling ‘Injunnie is gonna suck my diiiiiick’, wouldn’t have woken me up from downstairs too, you are sorely mistaken.”

Jaemin began stuttering, the sound complimented by Jeno’s undying laughter. Renjun couldn’t help but to join him with his own tinkling giggles. It was so satisfying to see the other this way, all worked up and embarrassed. He could add this moment onto the steadily growing list of flustered Jaemin moments, and it might be his favorite one yet.

Looking back to Jaemin, Renjun saw the way his blush slowly dissipated, a smirk taking its place.

Pink hair became tousled as he pulled his shirt off in a flurry, flinging it somewhere in the general direction of the end of the bed. His face was set in hard lines, but his eyes remained lively and bright.

He quickly climbed his way into their bed, stalking immediately over to where Renjun’s grin had been wiped off of his face, his ears dipping down in wariness.

“Nono, love?” Jeno hummed in response, eyes mischievous behind his glasses. “Be a dear and go get a couple towels from the bathroom, please.”

Jaemin threw his leg over Renjun’s lap, straddling him and taking one of his hands and pressing the hybrid’s torso down into the sheets and pillows. Leaning forward he kissed his cheek and whispered, taunting.

“You may be able to make me blush from time to time, but I think you forget who the expert at these things is.”

Renjun’s whole body shivered, his temperature racketing up several degrees, making him feel lightheaded and uncomfortable. He couldn’t stop swallowing as Jaemin quickly snaked his hands underneath the flimsy white shirt Jeno had leant to him, pulling it over his head and letting it fall somewhere on the floor.

“Nana,” Renjun couldn’t help but to whine out, his body very obviously having sunk back into its heat. The painfully familiar searing stretching across his skin and taking residence in his abdomen.

“Oh now you want to be all cute?”

“Please,” his voice coming out breathless, Jaemin smirked triumphantly.

Jeno came back into the room, towels in hand, quickly tossing one to Jaemin who pulled the comforter back to expose Renjun, now only clothed in his underwear. Which were quickly feeling more and more damp by the second.

Either this was his kink, being cornered like prey, or it was something that happened to hybrids in their heats because he was already so worked up by being pinned down. He’d have to ask Hyuck.

His train of thought was derailed as Jaemin lifted Renjun’s hips sliding the towel under his butt and thighs, making sure he didn’t hurt his tail in the process. Just knowing the fact that something was about to happen made Renjun shiver.

It was a good thing they had gotten the towel when they did.

Already panting even though he hadn’t been touched, Renjun leaned his neck back, trying to entice Jaemin to mark him, kiss him all across the expanse of his skin.

At his gesture, he received a soft tsk from the boy straddling him, making Renjun turn his head back upright, eyes shiny and confused.

“I thought you said you wanted to help us, princess? Already so needy for your own pleasure?” Groaning deeply, Renjun nodded hurriedly, not trusting his voice to come out normally if he tried to speak.

“You’ll have to finger him later though, Jaemin. The noises he makes are so sweet,” Jeno quirked his head and smiled at Renjun who was panting, mouth ajar. The events of earlier rushed back into him, the way Jeno had hit his insides just right again and again.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Renjun cursed, feeling the need wrack through his body at an insane rate, begging to be touched.

“Not this time, sorry, baby,” Jaemin smirked, leaning down to kiss Renjun briefly on the lips. “Okay, be a good boy and watch me, hm? I’ll show you how to make us feel good.”

Renjun’s eyelids became heavy as Jaemin grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers and coaxing him to sit up. He then scooted to their left towards Jeno and began to kiss him heartily, hand still attached to Renjun’s own.

After they kissed, lips sliding against lips, soft love bites being shared, Jeno unzipped his pants and pulled both them and his boxers down and—oh.

_Oh._

_Oooooohhh, okay. So. Oh, wow, yeah this is fine and not embarrassing at all._

Jeno’s dick was much larger than Renjun’s own and he felt a blush of embarrassment rage on his cheeks, squeezing his legs together in the process. Jaemin sent him a look, using his free hand to take hold of Jeno’s hardening length, maintaining eye contact with him as he moved slowly.

First, he saw Jaemin stick his tongue out, before curling his top lip over his teeth and then sinking down, lips stretching around the thick head of Jeno’s dick. He switched his gaze up to Jeno’s, whose eyes were focused on where Jaemin was going down on him, their eyes now locked while Renjun breathed loudly in and out of his nose, attempting to not sound so desperate. And failing.

Renjun wasn’t sure where to look; there was so much happening. Jaemin bobbing up and down, switching his gaze between Jeno and him, and Jeno’s tight grip in the other’s hair, guiding his mouth to go down and then up again, even holding him as far down as he could and thrusting.

Jaemin’s grip on Renjun’s hand tightened when Jeno pushed him so far down, he could see the strain of his lips and a small indention in his throat from where Jeno must be. And it was only then that Jaemin had finally taken him all the way down, even though it had been so easy to do with Renjun’s own, and oh god there’s no way he could do that.

Pulling off, lips red and puffy, slicked up with spit, he turned to Renjun and pulled him over with his grip in his hand.

“Wanna try?” Jaemin’s voice came out wrecked.

“I don’t think,” he gulped, looking into Jeno’s dark eyes as he stroked his spit slicked length. “I’m not sure if I can do what you did?”

Laughing lightly, a big smile across his face, Jaemin leaned over and pulled Renjun’s bottom lip open with his thumb before diving forward and kissing him breathless. His tongue ran its way around Renjun’s mouth making his legs shake and the pressure unfurl from his stomach.

“You don’t have to do all of what I did. It’s your first time, baby. Come here, let me guide you, hm?”

Renjun nodded timidly, letting Jeno wrap his hand around his nape and kiss him softly, nothing more than a peck before Jaemin guided him down to Jeno’s groin, face to face with his, much larger than Renjun’s, cock that was shiny from spit and precum.

“It’s really big,” he whispered, taking the length into his dainty hand and giving it a few strokes. At his words, Jeno twitched in his hand, pulsing and hot making Jaemin giggle, voice still rough.

“Oh, you liked that, hm?”

Looking up from under his lashes, Renjun peered at Jeno who sucked in a harsh breath between his teeth as soon as their eyes locked.

“Jaemin, baby, this view is amazing.”

“Hm, I bet,” Jaemin teased proudly, as he dropped Renjun’s hand and began to draw lazy circles in the small of his back, making him prickle with goose bumps.

Swallowing nervously, Renjun shot his eyes to Jaemin who opened his mouth and showed him once again how to hide his teeth. Nodding and giving himself a small pep talk, he leaned forward and captured the dark pink head in his mouth, closing his lips around it like a lollipop.

He hesitantly lowered his head, taking a bit more of Jeno into his mouth and shooting his eyes to Jaemin to see if he was doing it right. The other simply arched an eyebrow at his inquisitive look.

“What? You’re not sucking my dick, look at Jeno to see if you’re doing a good job. Ask him what he likes, he’ll guide you, too.”

Tingling pricks of heat snuck its way up his back and limbs when he retracted himself from Jeno, trying not to wince at the stretch in his mouth.

“What should I do, Jeno?” Renjun asked, brow furrowed, his hand still gently stroking the other up and down.

Leave it to Jeno that even in a situation like this he would pull out his eye smile, effervescent half moons shining down on the other. Encouraging him, Jeno gently carded his hand through Renjun’s hair.

“What you were doing was a good step, just keep doing that but a bit faster?”

Nodding in determination, Renjun lowered himself back down once more, holding his length with one hand in order to direct it into his mouth the way he wanted to. A gentle hand still brushed through Renjun’s soft hair, even coming up to scratch at the base of his ears in encouragement.

Pressing his lips together and pushing his tongue up against the underside, he moved up and down faster this time, realizing just how wet he was becoming. He could feel it beginning to trail past his underwear and coat his thighs, which was extremely uncomfortable.

But, Jeno’s steady support was relaxing, sweet ear scratches and tender back rubs from Jaemin. It was even enough to have him start to purr.

And boy did Jeno like that.

As Renjun’s chest began to rumble, mouth tight and wet around his cock, Jeno gasped loudly, his hand immediately gripping the other’s hair and unable to hold himself from bucking up slightly at the vibrations.

Thankfully, his thrust was rather shallow and only caught Renjun for surprise a bit. He looked back up to Jeno, purring stopped, eyes blown wide and Jaemin’s calming back rubs halting.

It didn’t take a genius to realize just how much Jeno had liked that, so Renjun shifted forward a bit, and sank back down deeply, making himself purr around his length.

“Oh fuck, Injun.” Jeno gasped, hands still unyielding in his hair as he began to move his mouth much faster up and down.

Large hands dipped into the elastic of his underwear and the next thing Renjun knew, he was completely bare while Jeno and Jaemin were both still completely clothed.

Pressing his legs together, Renjun felt cold due to how wet he had gotten now that he was exposed to the air.

“Oh wow, Junnie. And I thought you were super wet yesterday,” Jaemin’s voice lilted from behind him, in awe. Renjun couldn’t do much other than whine and wiggle uncomfortably at the feeling of eyes on him.

His purring had stopped, so Jeno used the hold in his hair to tentatively push him down further on his cock, making Renjun’s eyes go wide and his lips stretch uncomfortably.

“Pinch me if you want me to stop, ok?” Jeno moaned out, Renjun nodding in response.

Jeno began to use Renjun the same way he had used Jaemin earlier, guiding his head up and down on his cock. Although, this time his thrusts were much shallower and he was nowhere close to taking him all the way down. Renjun promised to himself that he would get there one day, for now though he would try to make Jeno feel as good as he had made Renjun feel earlier.

He began to purr again, trying to wiggle away from Jaemin’s probing touch as he ran his thumbs over the small swells of Renjun’s ass.

Suddenly, Jaemin was gripping his waist tightly, startling the hybrid and causing him to stop purring. He tried to look over his shoulder, Jeno’s length still in his mouth, before Jeno turned Renjun’s head back towards him.

“Focus on me, hm? Don’t worry, Jaemin will make you feel good,” Jeno whispered, running a thumb over his lips that were thinned out and strained around his cock, Renjun’s eyes fully opened and imploring.

When he felt the tips of fingers graze over his slicked perineum, Renjun struggled to keep his eyes open. It was barely anything, but the euphoria that was being touched during his heat began its leisurely flow through his body.

Trying to focus on Jeno, Renjun was breathing through his nose rapidly in anticipation of what Jaemin might do, his purring stuttering with expectation. He would probably finger him the way Jeno had earlier, and that had been a near religious experience.

But, Renjun was wrong.

He felt Jaemin’s tongue flatten its way across his leaking rim, making its way from his balls up to above his hole. Renjun pulled off of Jeno’s dick with a pop, scared he would accidentally bite down and hurt him.

“Jaemin! What are-are you doing?” He was panting as Jaemin continued to tongue at his entrance over and over again, simply giving him a hum in response while tightening his hold on Renjun’s waist.

Trying to turn and see what Jaemin was doing, his arms shaky, Jeno turned his face back to him, fingers pressing into his cheeks to garner his attention.

“Do you like it?”

At his question, Jaemin spread his ass apart, and sucked on the muscle before opening him abruptly with his tongue. He could feel Jaemin’s nose pressed against the top of his butt, a couple inches below where his tail was whipping back and forth.

“Y-yes,” Renjun whimpered, his bottom lip shaking at the feeling, eyes on the verge of tearing up.

“Good. Jaemin loves to eat people out, but I’m not into it. So, he can satisfy that need with you now! You hear that, Nana? Whenever you want to lick our little Injunnie, you can,” Jeno seemed smug when he said it, like he knew the exact effect it would have on Renjun and Jaemin.

It spurred the other to pull his tongue out and lap crazily at his continuously slickening rim, spearing him open again and again only to retract it, treating him as if he was his favorite ice cream flavor.

When Jaemin brought up a thumb to press against his perineum where his prostate was hidden inside, Renjun impaled on his tongue, his arms completely gave out, his face and shoulders being held by Jeno who he looked at with watering eyes and a panting, open mouth.

The coil in his abdomen sprung free, and he was cumming all over the bed sheets clenching down onto Jaemin’s tongue who was simply humming contentedly.

Jeno had been stroking himself the whole time, Renjun far too gone to notice. So, when his breaths became shuddered and he tried to pull himself from Jaemin’s grip and tongue, one fucked out look up at Jeno was all it took.

Painting Renjun’s lips and collarbones white, Jeno was grunting those low sounds that made something inside Renjun so feral, and with Jaemin not stopping his ministrations, he knew it would probably only be another minute or so before he was unraveling again.

But, Jaemin finally came to a halt, still propping Renjun’s hips up, making him present himself to the other. His head turned lazily, cum dripping down his chin, spotting Jaemin wiping his face with the back of his hand and smirking wickedly.

“Does this mean it’s my turn now?”

With the help of Jeno and Jaemin, Renjun didn’t feel like a truck had completely destroyed him after the few days of his heat.

So, for that, he was thankful.

They had made sure he was drinking water and getting his meals in between naps and… the other things.

How Renjun was still shy when it came to thinking about what they had done, he had no idea. Both Jeno and Jaemin had been inside of him in some form or capacity by now, and he still couldn’t even bring himself to say the word ‘fingering’ out loud.

Which he very much wanted to ask the other two to do more often.

He had to cancel his appointment with Joohyun because of his heat, so there was plenty to tell her when they finally got to speak after going longer than normal without talking.

“Oh wow, Renjun! You like the car rides, huh?” She chuckled, leaning forward on her elbows.

“Yeah. I was thinking about it, and it reminds me a bit of watching TV, if that makes sense? It’s like I can sit back and look out of a window, or a ‘TV screen’, and no one can see me, so it’s not as scary?”

“Hm. That’s a good way to put it,” she hummed, sipping her tea. “It’s good to relate situations that you fear to something you’re comfortable with if you can. So, that’s great. I’m very proud of you.”

Renjun felt himself inflate, his chest puffing out slightly, his back and tail straightening up in pride. A grin ripped itself across his features, eyes sparkling brightly.

She was proud.

Jeno and Jaemin were proud.

He was doing great!

As they were wrapping up, Joohyun left him with another task to try and complete this week, and honestly this one he wasn’t sure he could do. It would be taking a step he hadn’t yet, which… they all had been...

But, this one was scary.

“Oh my _fucking_ god. Absolutely you can come over!” Donghyuck squealed from the other side of his phone, Renjun’s fingers shaking slightly as he held the device.

“C-could you send me pictures or, like, videos of what your complex and the entrance and elevators look like? Please?” His voice growing tinier as he went on.

“Of course, Junnie! Is it okay if Jisung is here when you come, too?”

Renjun smiled softly at that. He and the puppy had been texting quite frequently; something about him interested the other. And he thinks Jisung might feel the same way. They often talked about a new video game Chenle had shown Jisung, or the way he outran Yangyang for the first time in the park and Yukhei had to separate them because Yangyang was really competitive and ‘was going to bite me, hyung!’.

“Yes, that’s totally fine. Will Mark be there?”

“Hm, probably not unless you come over really early or really late. This is a studio week for him. He’s _busy_ busy.”

“Ah, okay. So just you two, and me and Jeno?”

“Yup! Sounds great to me! How’s tomorrow for you guys?” Renjun choked on his own spit, an odd strangled noise coming from his mouth. “Jun, are you okay? What was that?”

“T-tomorrow? Already?” He squeaked.

“Yes, Jun. Tomorrow. You got this. I will be in the car with you as well as Jeno and Jaemin, and you know you can close your eyes until we’re inside our place if you need to,” Renjun nodded slightly, before Donghyuck rushed his next words out. “But don’t rush yourself! I will _not_ let you run away again. You have to listen to your body, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay. I’m proud of you Junnie.”

It was as if Donghyuck had known that those were the magical words. His whole mood flipped itself on its head, perking his demeanor up.

This would be hard, there was no doubt about that. None of this was anything close to easy, but he was doing it anyways.

He was surviving, and he was getting better.

Plus, he was happier than he had ever been in his life, and if that wasn’t a good sign, then Renjun had no idea what was.

Getting himself from their apartment to Jaemin’s car was nearing effortlessness at this point. So, once inside the car, Jaemin in the driver’s seat with Hyuck and Jeno on either side of him, it felt almost normal.

As normal as going outside could feel to Renjun.

Jaemin had more meetings today, so he would be dropping them off and then going to work right after. But, thankfully, if Renjun couldn’t do it and needed to come back home early, Mark had left the keys to his second car on the counter for Jeno to use if need be.

So everything was set up perfectly for him.

Of course, a sense of anxiety and panic lingered over him like his own little personal raincloud.

But, his friends were his umbrella.

So.

It was fine.

Renjun liked the rain anyways.

The car ride was deceptively short, not allowing Renjun to mentally prepare himself for what was to come.

Since they did not live here, Jaemin had to drop them off and Renjun wouldn’t be able to sit in the car and debate the pros and cons while brooding in silence for thirty minutes. So, pretending that his hands weren’t trembling and his lips weren’t quivering on the verge of breaking into sobs, he breathed deeply and took Jeno’s hand.

That was another thing that had happened recently.

Sometimes, Renjun could walk to the car by himself now. Well, as long as he still had a hand to hold. And had the option to immediately jump into someone’s arms.

But, maybe he wasn’t ready for that here. In a completely new place, just walking to the entrance seemed like a life or death situation.

As Jeno went to pull him out of the car by his hand, his heart stuttered and he couldn’t breathe. Renjun let go of Jeno’s hand and closed his eyes, counting his breath.

_Four._

_Five._

_Six._

_Seven._

_Jaemin’s hair was styled really cutely today. I need to make sure I tell him that._

_I really should buy some more socks because these ones make my toes feel kinda weird._

_Oh right, I’m also almost out of conditioner. Better talk to Jaemin about that, too._

Opening his eyes, Renjun felt his heart and breathing calm. He knew what his body was saying, and this time he would listen. Clearing his throat, he looked up to meet three pairs of concerned eyes.

“Jeno? Can you carry me?”

“Oh, of course Junnie! Are you okay?” Jeno whispered, moving back into the car and maneuvering himself to be in a position to lift him.

“Yes, I am now. I just really don’t think I can walk out there.”

“Of course, Jun. I’ve got you,” his voice caressed Renjun’s thoughts, soothing him as he clenched his eyes shut, clutching to Jeno’s loose spring shirt.

A soft goodbye from Jaemin drifted over his head before the persistent prattling of Donghyuck took over. There was no way Renjun could even begin to worry himself into a hole as every time his mind began to drift, Hyuck was yelling about something else Jisung or Mark had done.

In fact, there was one moment when he even cracked a small smirk as he was buried in Jeno’s shoulder.

He heard someone call out a professional but puzzled hello to them. Probably due to Renjun being carried the way he was, but Donghyuck shot a bright greeting back and Jeno continued to move forward.

A few beeps sounded and then they were moving in what had to be an elevator. Clinging tighter to Jeno’s neck, he felt a soothing hand draw tiny flowers on the small of his back. Jeno and Jaemin had found out that Renjun enjoyed having his back softly caressed. Something about it soothed him like not much else could.

After several moments, they exited the elevator and only seemed to move a few steps before the sound of a key in a lock was sounding out.

A door handle being pushed. Then a few more steps. A door closing and then-

“Welcome to my humble abode, Injunnie! You did it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Go Junnie!
> 
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cameron](https://twitter.com/jjaemun) for helping me out with this chapter!

Renjun pried one of his eyes open, still clinging to Jeno like his personal life preserver and he was the last person aboard the Titanic. But, once he found himself brave enough to look, he was struck speechless.

Mark must be a really good producer, because wow, was this place fancy, and he thought that Jeno and Jaemin’s place was extravagant.

Across from the entrance, the far wall was made solely of glass, a door leading out to a giant balcony that had something that looked like a hot tub snuggled in the left corner. Chairs and a few tables were placed expertly outside as well, the terrace decorated with stringed lights and plants.

Inside their apartment-

Loft-

Penthouse?

_Holy shit, this was a penthouse._

The inside of their penthouse was just as lavish. A giant living room lay out in front of them, thick grey carpet across the floors, the middle dipping down a few steps where leather furniture was arranged. On the left of the wall a giant stone fireplace was settled, while on the right a giant TV and shelf of movies and games resided.

There was a hallway on either side and around the small corner on his left, a chrome kitchen was hidden behind a fancy looking bar, stock full of alcohol.

Noting the impressed and stunned look on Renjun’s face, Donghyuck gave out a hearty laugh, his brown tail sticking straight up into the air, happily.

“It’s nice, right?” Renjun sputtered incredulously at his friend, allowing Jeno to set him down softly.

“I think that’s the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard in my life,” he murmured, beginning to walk farther into the living room, curious of the view from the balcony. “Just how famous is Mark exactly?”

Donghyuck shrugged noncommittally, following Renjun over to the glass wall. Looking out, the view took his breath away. In the distance you could see the heart of the city, and the skyline was perfectly showcased at this height. It must be even more stunning to look at, at night.

“So, how are you feelin-“

“Hyung!”

Renjun and Donghyuck turned their heads to spot Jisung springing out from the hallway, bumbling slightly over his own legs. Jeno had a large smile as he joined the other two hybrids, placing a gentle hand on the dip of Renjun’s waist as his tail came up to curl around the other’s arm lovingly.

“Jisungie, hey,” Renjun shot a big smile at the puppy whose tail was wagging like crazy.

“It’s so cool that you can visit now. That means we’re so much closer to getting to go to the park together. I swear Renjun, hyung. You’re going to love it!” He smiled, his eyes disappearing and his gums showing slightly.

“I can’t wait! It’s nice to see you again, Sungie,” Renjun let his arm trace over Jeno’s lightly as he moved from his grip to walk over to the puppy who looked at him, hesitant for a moment before wrapping him in a quick hug.

“Come on, hyung. Let me show you the game room. It’s insane, you’ll love it,” Jisung said, his voice teetering between shy and thrilled.

Renjun followed him down the hallway that had been to their left. They past a couple of doors, one of which Hyuck pointed out to be his own room. Before they reached the end of the short hallway and where Jisung opened an already ajar door to showcase their ‘game room’.

If game rooms were basically whole ass movie theatres.

There were two rows of what looks like plush, dark theatre chairs (although, they were much nicer), a giant projection screen on the wall they were facing. In the corner there was a popcorn machine and a couple of arcade games as well.

Renjun knew he was probably about to catch flies from how long his mouth had been agape, but he really felt like he was in an alternate dimension. Angling his body to look back, Renjun spotted Donghyuck who had a smug look on his face.

“Hm. I see why you act so spoilt now, Hyuck,” Renjun commented offhandedly causing everyone to take a beat before laughing.

Donghyuck stared in disbelief, like he had misheard his friend, while Jeno laughed in unison, both of the boys’ eyes crinkling up and closing. After a beat, the other cat hybrid, shuffled to chase Renjun who simply squeaked and sprinted out of the room, narrowly dodging an offended and vengeful Donghyuck.

He sprinted through the living room and down the other hallway going into the first room he saw, which just happened to be a mini library. Either side of the decently sized room had floor to ceiling book shelves, a rolling ladder against the one on the right. The far wall was made out of the same glass as the living room, several cozy chairs plus a homey looking love seat were situated about.

Caught off guard and utterly impressed, Renjun was unprepared when Donghyuck slammed into his back, sending him tumbling forward onto the carpet.

“Hyuck! Stop-“ Donghyuck began poking his sides harshly to the point where it almost hurt under the disguise of a tickle.

“Payback’s a bitch,” he grunted out, humor sneaking into his fake upset tone.

After rolling around for a bit, they finally parted gasping in laughter and righting themselves. Helping Donghyuck up, Renjun looked around the room once more.

“This is gorgeous, Hyuck.”

“Hm, yeah it’s really open and bright and the vibe is calming and healing. It’s a nice little cove to be able to escape to.”

Walking over to sit at the chair in front of the glass, Renjun glanced quickly outside to the view, propping his feet up on the footstool. The balcony didn’t come around the side this far, so he could see straight down, but oddly that didn’t bother him.

Hyuck was right. The natural sunlight lit up the books and the small of parchment drifted through the air comfortingly.

Sitting upright, Renjun’s eyes went wide, and his lips pursed in thought while a confused Donghyuck looked on, not sure what to do about the sudden change in his friend’s demeanor.

“Hyuckie?”

“Yeah?” Donghyuck asked, apprehension clear in his voice.

“Would… Do you think- Well,” Renjun wasn’t sure how to ask this. Would it be imposing? “Do you think I could come paint over here sometime?”

Donghyuck blinked at him twice, before beaming down at his friend and doing a small twirl with a soft _woohoo_ in celebration.

“Of course! Absofuckinglutely! You can come over way more, and we can just chill in here. Especially if more of Mark’s friends want your stuff, you can just paint it here and it’ll be easier to get back to them!” Renjun joined in, a smile of his own splitting his cheeks.

“That’s true. Wow, this is,” he shook his head incredulously, running his hand through his hair as warmth ran through his chest. “This is crazy? Like I actually _want_ to come outside and visit? Travel in a _car?? And visit??_ ”

A single joyful laugh punched its way from his lungs while they sat in the bright and lighthearted atmosphere.

It was absolutely insane. Could he do this?

Worry crawled forwards from the back of his mind, trying to tempt his courage and happiness to leave him, but instead he closed his eyes and breathed out deeply through his nose.

This was an amazing thing, and it would be wonderful for him. Also, Jeno and Jaemin would be able to not worry about him as much. This was actually perfect.

Renjun was becoming his own person.

Maybe one day he could even walk over here on his own.

Shaking his head in awe, Renjun’s vision began to become unfocused and blur as he stared at the ground. Without noticing he had become emotional, tears began to fall slowly down his cheeks.

So much had changed in what had seemed like such a short amount of time. Had it even been a full four months yet since he moved in with Jeno and Jaemin?

He owed so much to them.

And to Mrs. Lee.

Letting his thoughts slip to the woman who raised him and saved him, he felt immensely grateful for her as well. Without her he would have never gotten here. Would have never met Jeno or Jaemin. No Donghyuck, or Jisung, or Mark.

But, dammit, look at him now.

“Are you okay, Renjun?” He heard his friend’s voice full of worry. Simply nodding and using the back of his hand to wipe away the wetness from his face, Renjun sent a close-lipped smile to the other.

“I’m just astonished how I got here is all. And I’m really thankful that I met you, Hyuckie,” Renjun’s voice blend with sincerity, making Donghyuck’s cheeks pink slightly.

“Of course you are. Everyone who meets me should be!” He tried to scoff, but Renjun knew his friend had been touched, even if he was trying to avoid his emotions.

“Come here, weirdo.” Renjun stood and enveloped Donghyuck in his arms squeezing tightly and rubbing his cheek onto the other’s as well. He pretended to try and get Renjun off for a moment before he embraced him back, snuggling deep into his neck.

“Love you, Junie.”

“Love you too, Hyuckie.”

They had spent several hours over at the Donghyuck’s ‘humble abode’. Renjun had gotten his ass kicked by Jisung in every video game but Mario Kart where he had kicked everyone else’s.

Jaemin picked them up and brought them back to their apartment, and boy was Renjun exhausted. He felt all the lingering excitement and energy seep from his bones as soon as he stepped inside. The day’s events really sucked every last bit of enthusiasm, and he immediately excused himself to go and nap the late afternoon away.

The days began to bleed into one another again. Work picking up for all three of them. Renjun’s commissions began to flood in, so much so that he actually had to get Jeno’s help on creating a website for himself. Which is where he currently was.

He sat in Jeno’s lap who was in his large spinney office chair. Renjun had both of his arms wrapped around the other’s neck, head tilted as Jeno shifted back and forth between a pretty lavender color and a pale green on the screen.

“Which one has more of the vibe you’re going for?”

Renjun squinted, gazing down to the pages he had laid out that contained the content for the rest of his website. This was important; garnering future clients’ attention could be broken or made with something as simple as appearance, unfortunately. It didn’t matter how good his artwork was if he didn’t come off as professional.

“What if,” Renjun leaned over and took the mouse from Jeno’s hand, shifting in the other’s lap slightly. He ran the pointer across the screen and tinkered with some of the colors where Jeno had been messing around earlier.

After a couple minutes, Renjun pulled back, a smug and satisfied smirk on his lips.

The layout had a soft, cotton candy pink background, just barely darker than white, with deep blue, night sky accents in the margins. He leaned down after grabbing a pen and pointed out on the pages, showing Jeno how his portraits would be on the night themed page, and the morning themed page was where he wanted his nature pieces.

When he finished explaining his vision, Jeno sat back as his eyes smiled and he wrapped his arms around Renjun’s waist.

“This is going to be gorgeous, Junnie. Where did you come up with this?”

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Renjun leaned forward and pressed a tentative kiss to Jeno’s cheek, leaving the barest wetness where his lips had been. Reaching up to run his thumb across Renjun’s cheekbone, Jeno tilted his head and brought him back in, their lips greeting one another.

They held there, letting the kiss remain tender and full of meaning. For some reason, as Jeno pulled away slightly, locking their eyes before diving back in to press airy pecks to the side of Renjun’s mouth, he became emotional.

“I’ll show you why I thought of it,” Renjun whispered into Jeno’s lips, cradling his chin, feeling Jeno’s head nod in an ‘okay’. “Let’s go get Jaemin.”

This time it was different. He had already given them the portrait, and he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t shown the other two his other paintings yet. Maybe, because they came about subconsciously. Manifesting his love for them since he was unable to keep it inside, and he used painting as an accidental outlet.

“Before we confessed, I thought I needed to stay as far away from you to as much as I could,” Renjun scratched the back of his nape, tail wrapped around his waist in worry. Jaeno and Jaemin sat on their bed, shooting one another a confused look before turning back to Renjun.

“I wish you would have talked to us, Injunnie. We’ve always-“

“I’m sorry, Nana. Can-can I finish first?” Jaemin nodded softly, settling back to get more comfortable as Renjun sighed.

“Like I said, I thought I needed to stay away. Who was I to want to come between such a perfect and loving couple? A couple that had saved me from not only the world, but myself. Cheesy, I know, but it’s true,” Renjun shrugged, averting his eyes from them. “I think I’ve loved you both for a very long time. Much longer than I realized, and I was in denial for what felt like forever.

“When it finally did click that I liked both of you, I tried to hide away. I stuck outside on the balcony, burying myself in my art in order to forget you both, but that didn’t work.” He scoffed.

Renjun reached back to grab the pink cotton clouds picture; the sherbet swirls mixing in with the green of the fields, and of course the tiny flowers dotted at the bottom looking like nothing more than ants. He turned it around and shuffled his feet awkwardly, staring down at his own work.

“So first, I painted this. As soon as I sat my brush down I realized it was inspired by you, Jaemin,” Renjun mumbled the last art, embarrassed, refusing to raise his eyes. “The clouds are the color of your hair, and the painting is kind of how I view you?

“You’re like a sunrise. You’re the reason so many people want to get up and have motivation to do things. It’s like even if you crowd across a giant field, all you do is add beauty to it. With your words, or actions, even just your heart. I always think of you whenever I see pink,” Renjun smirked turning and setting the painting back down before fetching the other one.

“And this, I made as a couple piece to the Jaemin one. That one was beautiful, but it didn’t feel right leaving it all alone. So, I created this ocean at nighttime. Some people could probably see it as dark or haunting due to the vastness of the ocean, but it’s actually the exact opposite.

“The way the moon is so bright, casting light far across the water, reaching every corner, that’s, uh, how I feel about your smile, Jeno. It can brighten even the darkest of things. And there’s also so much more to you than what’s just on the surface. You’re truly a beacon that illuminates other’s darkest times. Especially mine,” Renjun cleared his throat blinking roughly trying to not cry.

He put it back by the other painting, facing their TV stand instead of either of them, too embarrassed at how sappy he had just become.

“Basically, I just want to say, thank you, I guess? I was emotional the other day when I talked to Hyuck, and I felt weird not telling you two as well. Especially, when Jeno asked where I had gotten the inspiration for my website. It’s from you two.

“Cheesy, I know. But, whatever. It’s true. I couldn’t stay away from you two or forget you even when I was actively trying to. My subconscious wouldn’t let me leave you both. And-“ Renjun sniffed, swallowing harshly before releasing a shaky breath.

_Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, idiot._

“And-“ Renjun’s voice broke and so did his wall. He hunched over and began to sob. It only took a fraction of a second for him to be gathered back into strong arms, one pair wrapped around his back, and the other wrapped around his side.

“And-and-and you just-“ he tried to get, hiccupping between words.

“Sh, shh, baby it’s okay. Shhh,” Jaemin said from behind him, a reassuring touch combing through his hair, petting his ears in the process.

“Junnie, we love you so much,” Jen whispered next to him, his voice coming out raw and flat.

“I-I love,” he sniffed harshly, “I love-“

“It’s okay, we know. We know, love.”

The three of them stood there, warmth enfolding them, both from the closeness of their touches and also the weight of Renjun’s words. It was impossible to miss the sincerity in his voice.

Eventually, once the soft hiccups had come to an end, they let go of him and walked him over to the bed to sit him down. Hands carding through his hair, gentle thumbs wiped away the droplets on his cheeks.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jeno whispered.

“Truly. I can’t believe someone so small could have such a big heart,” Jaemin spoke, kissing Renjun’s cheek who looked affronted.

“I’m not that short!” His voice came out strained and nasally.

“You’re right. What do they call it? You’re fun sized!” Jaemin joked, flashing his winning smile.

“Way to kill a moment, Jaem,” Jeno joked leaning over to gather a now feisty and slightly annoyed Renjun into his arms, pulling him to his body.

“I like that you’re small, it’s cute,” Jeno said, kissing his ear sending a blush up Renjun’s cheek, immediately placated at the touch.

“So he can call you small, but I can’t.”

“Yes.”

“I’m claiming favoritism!”

“You should, because he is my favorite.”

“Sorry, Jaem.”

“I hate this family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well lovelies, I hope this short chapter could warm your heart a bit. 
> 
> My brain has been struggling with writing because we're growing closer to the end and I want to make it perfect. To get my head on my shoulders straight and to give you all a lovely finale to SIMH, I'm going to be taking a few days off. 
> 
> I'll actually be writing a RenMin Prince one shot to give my mind a break from this world, seeing as I've become stunted in it. Check out the sneak peek [here!](https://twitter.com/tenspetal/status/1286892127197302785)  
> Thank you all so, so much! And I'll see you again in a few days (⌒.−)＝★
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back back back again!

It wasn’t more than a few days later until Renjun was sitting down on one side of their table, with Jeno’s lawyer, Moon Taeil, across from him. He was short in stature, but had a handsome and kind face that kept shooting reassuring looks to Renjun each time he awkwardly shifted or cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Jeno and Jaemin were sitting behind him on their couch. Jeno had been given a small stack of papers that he was currently leafing through, his reading glasses on. Jaemin, on the other hand, was engaging in soft conversation with Taeil while simultaneously rubbing Renjun’s ears comfortingly.

“So, Renjun. I’m sure you know why I’m here?” Taeil started voice low and slightly timid. Righting his back, Renjun tried to summon all of his courage he possibly could.

“Yes. Those bastards want to take Jeno’s stuff from him that’s rightfully his. Rightfully ours,” Renjun added after a beat causing Jaemin to lean down and wrap his arms around the hybrid from the back. A smirk broke out across Taeil’s face while he placed a couple of folders from his briefcase in front of him.

“Precisely. And we’re here to beat said bastards,” Renjun smiled softly, an almost noiseless purr echoing through his chest at Jaemin’s pets. “Depending on which route they go, a majority of this case could count on a statement from you. We think that they’ll try and take the ‘she wasn’t sound of mind’ course.”

“That’s not right at all, though. She was completely lucid right up-,” Renjun had to blink harshly a few times before he could speak again, his voice softer, “right up until the end.”

Taeil nodded, shuffling a paper, pulling it from the pile and placing it directly in front of Renjun.

“I believe you. But, we’re going to need your statement,” Renjun leaned down looking at the document. It seemed like a brief summary of statements in court and what they entailed and their uses. “That’s for you to keep and look over. You’ll be seeing me a few more times before we go to court, so don’t worry about taking it all in right now at this moment, okay?”

Taeil kindly smiled at Renjun, before turning to Jeno and sighing deeply. Digging around in his suitcase, he pulled out a small bundle of files and handed them over to a weary looking Jeno.

“This is the list.”

“Ugh,” Jeno grunted, dropping his head into one of his hands before sighing deeply.

Letting Renjun go, Jaemin shifted to massage Jeno’s shoulder while Renjun scooted on his butt to get close to the other and cling lovingly to his leg, big eyes looking up at him from under his lashes and mouth parted slightly in concern.

“Ugh, indeed,” Taeil agreed, nodding his head solemnly.

Renjun wasn’t exactly sure what those papers contained, but he figured it might be better to ask Jeno later instead of right now in the height of his stress, and with Taeil over. Setting his head gingerly onto Jeno’s knee, he began purring softly which in turn attracted two hands that lightly began patting his head and scratching at his ears.

“So, you’re telling me that 77% of the time, will contests _win_?” That caused Renjun and Jaemin to snap their heads towards Taeil, shooting frantic looks between one another and to Jeno.

“Yes. Because will contest claims are usually worthwhile. The reasoning behind them is not often disputable, but ours is,” Taeil’s eyes flashed over to Renjun briefly, before looking back to Jeno. “I believe that _they_ believe Renjun is incapable of providing a statement. Thus, they’re doused in confidence. You can practically taste the smugness in the files they submitted to the Probate Court.”

A silence spread across the room as Renjun felt eyes burning on his skin. His palms began to sweat and he could feel his heart rushing, the tell tale signs of the beginning of one of his panic attacks.

With Joohyun, he had learned how to see when they were coming, how to identify them. Which had helped in making things less scary, but…

So much was relying on him. Jeno was relying on him. Jaemin was relying on him.

_What if he couldn’t make it to the court?_

_What if when he does get up to the witness stand, he reacts like now?_

_How embarrassing would it be to have a full fledged anxiety attack in front of everyone?_

_In front of those evil people who wanted to do nothing but take what rightfully belonged to Jeno?_

He couldn’t breathe.

What had Joohyun said? He was supposed to count his breaths. Count things around the room. Distract himself.

Shakily looking up from the floor, his eyes watering, Renjun looked to the side of the TV where their shelf was and began to count the books there.

_There’s eight books on the first shelf. One, two… six on the second shelf. And the third? Nine. So, twenty-three?_

_Maybe Jaemin would help me rearrange them later. Make them a bit prettier._

“Injunnie?” He heard his name softly called from behind him, breaking him from the stupor he had slipped into.

Things were still blurry from his teary eyes as he turned and saw the distressed looks on either of his love’s faces. They always cared so deeply for him, this was the least he could do for them.

“We could always file a petition and attach an affidavit if you’re not able to make the statement in person, Renjun,” the gentle words came from Taeil. Turning his head, a single tear let loose from the hybrid’s eyes.

“Is that as effective?” Taeil cleared his throat before adjusting his tie.

“It serves the same purpose.”

“But, is it as compelling? Would our chances be better if I was there in person?” Renjun’s voice grew a bit stronger.

“Well…” Taeil trailed off, his eyes shaking as they shot back and forth between Jeno and Jaemin. Taking in a deep breath and sighing it out through his nose, the lawyer adjusted the way he was sitting uncomfortably. “Yes, our chances would most likely improve.”

“Then I’ll make it there. I will, don’t worry.”

“Renjun-“ Jeno’s voice called out, obvious conflict in his tone. Turning to smile at him, Renjun cut him off.

“I won’t push myself too far. I’ll be able to do it, I promise. I’ll go email Dr. Bae right now.” Soft smiles mirrored one another as they looked at each other.

“I admire your tenacity, Renjun. Now, let’s talk about what you’re going to say to those bastards.”

Cackling, Renjun took his paintbrush and decorated Jeno’s already splattered cheek with the bright yellow he had dipped it in. He had tried to dodge, but Renjun swerved at the last second to catch him perfectly.

Before Renjun could relish in his small victory, arms circled him from behind and lifted him off of the ground. Grip tight and unwavering, Jeno’s eyes glinted with revenge.

“No! This is cheating!” Renjun kicked his feet trying to wriggle away from Jaemin’s hold.

“It’s not cheating! It’s called being resourceful!” Jaemin laughed next to Renjun’s ear who was still struggling in the strong grasp of the other.

Jeno’s eyes smiled brightly as he descended upon Renjun, grabbing and squishing his cheeks while he took a red paint-dipped brush and made broad strokes over the whole of Renjun’s face.

“Nono! Why the whole face!” Renjun whined while Jeno simply giggled in response before stepping back to admire his work.

“Perfect,” he concluded before turning to Jaemin who dropped the squirmy hybrid onto his feet and swung him around to see Jeno’s masterpiece.

“Oh, Jeno. You’ve outdone yourself.”

“Thanks, babe.” Renjun finally got free from Jaemin’s hands and backed away slowly.

“What did you paint on my face? I swear, if it’s a dick-“ He had backed up to the large glass wall outside of Mark’s loft to get a quick look. Jeno had drawn a giant heart that crested above his eyebrows and came to a point on his small chin.

“Wha-“

“It’s just to remind you that I love you,” Jeno snuck up behind him before picking up the hybrid and spinning him in circles, kissing his cheek and smudging part of the paint, getting his lips red.

“Jeno, be careful! Don’t eat the paint!”

All three of them cackled before Jaemin joined Jeno in hugging Renjun from the other side and twirling them lightly letting out high-pitched ‘weeeeee’s, which caused the smaller to giggle profusely.

“Okay, stop being gross, we have company,” Donghyuck called from the balcony door, hands on his hips with a smirk across his face.

Renjun had asked Donghyuck if he could come over and paint, dragging Jeno and Jaemin along so that they could all relax and unwind a bit. Neither of them was taking any new jobs as of now and both had begun to sit in bed for far too long every day, and it worried Renjun.

So, he bought three canvases, planned out a small, simple design and had a painting class with them on Mark’s giant balcony in the perfect weather. If only for the cold breeze that would run over them every so often. 

It hadn’t taken long for Jaemin to stir up trouble that the other two quickly jumped into, starting the first of what Renjun promised would be many paint fights.

“Oh right,” today was also the day Renjun was going to meet new people. Jisung’s friends as he had outwardly labeled them. When a puppy as cute as Jisung comes up to you, tail wagging incessantly and begging ‘hyung, hyung, hyung please meet my friends,’ you don’t tell him no.

Before Renjun could even enter back into the loft, sharp, loud laughter split through the air, causing him to flatten his ears to his head.

_Jeez, loud much?_

Tentatively inching himself inside the penthouse, Renjun spotted two dog hybrids jumping on top of Jisung happily, while a very tall and very broad human stood beside them, hands outstretched in worry, trying to get them to stop.

“Don’t, guys-- don’t break anything! Please- god, not again!”

The smallest of the three threw himself on top of Jisung, causing the clumsy pup to be sent backwards and land on the coffee table, a resounding crack echoing through the space.

“What was that?” Mark yelled from down the hallway, jogging out to see what mess had happened. When he was greeting with the sight of his guests, a fond, knowing expression colored his face.

Donghyuck grabbed Renjun’s hand and led him over to the puppy pile before clearing his throat loudly and raising his foot as if to threaten to kick them.

“This is my best friend, Renjun-“ a loud and offended noise came from Jaemin as Hyuck continued, “calm down and be nice to him, or I _will_ kill you.” The one with the darkest hair and fur scoffed before popping up and extending a hand.

“Hi! I’m Yangyang, what’s on your face?” he shot him a toothy grin that had Renjun smirking before he looked over his shoulder at Jeno who had put the paint there. Renjun had a feeling that this pup was trouble when he looked back and saw how mischievous Yangyang’s face naturally seemed to be.

“And I’m Chenle,” the other one said, hip checking Yangyang out of the way to extend his own hand instead. He had soft looking strawberry blonde hair and rather floppy ears.

Renjun shook Chenle’s hand, slightly on edge by all the commotion, seeing as Yangyang looked like he was ready to pounce on the other once more at any second.

“I’m Yukhei,” the tall human called, a large, goofy smile across his face and Renjun immediately liked him. He radiated friendliness and he shot back his best winning smile in return. “Jisung told us you’re Chinese, right?”

“Yeah!”

“So are we!” Chenle squeaked out when a harsh tug from Yangyang pulled him back onto the ground.

_Oh lord, so this is what dog hybrids are like? How is Jisung so sweet then?_

“Sorry, hyung,” Jisung whispered while the other two bickered like siblings before finally being shoved apart by an eye-rolling Donghyuck. Renjun fluffed up the tall puppy’s hair making him wag his tail before pulling him into a hug.

“It’s fine, Jisungie. I’m excited to meet your friends.” Jisung’s tail sped up at that as he began to bounce slightly in place and smile.

“Okay, me too. I know you can’t go to the park yet, but I’m really happy you still get to meet them!”

_I must always protect him. He is far too precious for this world._

  
  


“What, the hell-?”

“Chenle, language!”

“How are you so good?” Chenle continued on, aghast at how easily Renjun had won at Mario Kart, decimating everyone else playing.

“I had plenty of practice kicking Jaemin’s ass-“

“Not in front of the kids, Renjun!” “Hey, what the fuck!”

Jeno and Jaemin called out, speaking over each other before turning their heads and laughing loudly in unison.

All of them were nestled in the giant media room of Mark’s house. Chenle, Jisung, Yangyang, and Renjun were all currently playing Mario Kart while the popcorn machine popped softly in the background.

Hyuck was perched happily purring in Mark’s lap who was currently talking to a very animated Yukhei, the human’s arms swinging wildly around as he retold some story.

Renjun had been nervous, to say the least, to meet the infamous trio, but they far exceeded his expectations. Once Renjun had established himself as a no-nonsense type of person with the help of Donghyuck, the two puppies had immediately respected him. Which meant that they wouldn’t pounce on him when they got excited.

It also helped that he could scold them in Chinese, which seemed to affect them much more than Korean.

“Let’s go again. This time Star Cup, not Flower!”

“If you want to lose even more embarrassingly than last time, be my guest,” Renjun replied snarkly to an already angry pouting Chenle.

“Damn, you’re kinda savage, Renjun,” Yangyang observed, his voice slightly in awe. “I thought you were supposed to be, like, a huge scaredy cat.”

Renjun’s cheeks heated up as he turned his face back to the large projection screen. Only he, Yangyang, and Jisung had heard what had been said, so neither Jeno nor Jaemin immediately came to his aid. 

Yangyang obviously had no idea that what he had said would affect Renjun at all, but Jisung’s face promptly turned into a look somewhere between disgust and absolute bewilderment.

“Yangyang, what the crap?” Jisung asked, his voice more perturbed than Renjun had ever heard it before. Continuing to look forward, Renjun tried to force the tears away, but he was struggling to simply because the other was right.

He had come so far, so why did he still feel so disappointed in himself? He had made progress.

Lots of it! 

But, wasn’t Yangyang right? He was still just a scaredy cat. So what if he could come over to Mark’s place. Everyone could do that; he wasn’t special.

Renjun knew these thoughts weren’t productive, and the small pieces of advice and encouragement that Joohyun had given him were trying to quell his darker thoughts, but for some reason he was stuck in his frustrations. Beginning to cry harder, his shoulders trembled slightly as he lowered his head to glare holes into the carpet.

“What? What’d I say?” Yangyang looked worriedly up to Jisung, eyes wide and his normally perky ears dropping suddenly. He glanced back over to Renjun, catching the droplets hitting the carpet below him.

“You’re so mean, why would you say that to, hyung? Don’t you know anything?” Jisung continued on, his voice growing louder.

Yangyang looked absolutely scolded, his head whipping back and forth between Renjun and Jisung. Chenle had begun to catch onto whatever was going on, and Jeno and Jaemin broke their conversation to look interestedly at them.

“Renjun, I-“ Yangyang said to Renjun who sniffled as softly as he could, having to breathe out of his mouth due to his stuffy nose. “I’m sorry? What did I say?” He whipped his head back to an upset and scowling Jisung.

“It’s fine,” Renjun’s voice came out small and barely audible, a garbled mess.

“Oh my god, I’m so sor- why are you crying- I’m- are you-?”

“Renjun?” Jaemin’s voice called from behind him as Renjun quickly used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the tears from his cheeks not wanting to worry them over his stupid, bitchass inner thoughts.

“I’m fine,” Renjun replied, which he definitely shouldn’t have because his voice cracked and sounded weathered by emotions.

“Oh, Renjun,” Jeno called softly, concerned as he stood and quickly bridged the gap to caress Renjun’s hair. “What’s wrong, love?”

Yangyang’s eyes continued to widen, especially when a soft sob broke through Renjun’s lips which caught the remaining three’s attention.

“Baby,” Jaemin soothed, petting his hair while Renjun tried to quiet his soft weeping. Why was he so emotional? It was just one comment from a puppy who didn’t know any better. Donghyuck stood and marched over to the scene.

“Who the fuck said what?” He demanded, eyes steely. Yangyang looked up, eyes wide and guilty sporting his own set of tears.

“It-it was me, but-but I don’t know why?” He began whimpering softly.

“He called hyung a scaredy cat,” Jisung huffed.

Jeno gathered Renjun into his arms, picking him up with practiced ease. Jaemin was cooing softly trying to stop the steady flow of tears from the hybrid.

“Let’s go home, hm? How does that sound, Injunnie?” Jeno gently whispered into the top of Renjun’s head where he placed multiple kisses.

“Renjun, I’m really sorry! I didn’t know and I’m-“

“We can talk about it another time, Yangyang, okay? Promise. Thanks for having us over, we’ll grab the painting materials from outside and get out of your hair,” Jaemin responded with a steady voice, schooling his features as best as he possibly could.

“Renjun!-“ Yangyang called once more, standing before Yukhei, who had strode over to them, put a hand on the puppy hybrid’s shoulder holding him back.

“Yeah, of course guys. It was good to see you again,” Mark waved, a puzzled look on his face.

Jeno began to carry Renjun out, softly mentioning to his partner that he was going to go ahead and go down to the car to wait for him. Nodding, Jaemin headed to the balcony, urgency in his steps while the other two headed their way out of the apartment with Renjun burying himself into Jeno, dampening his shirt with tears.

When they arrived home, Renjun refused to be set down, so the three of them went upstairs and snuggled into their bed, both clinging to the smaller. Soft words of love were exchanged as well as gentle caresses.

“Want to talk about it, lovely?” Jaemin asked after Renjun had finally stopped crying, eyes and tip of his nose red. Nodding slowly, he pushed himself up to sit against the headboard, pulling his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

“Yangyang told me I was a savage, he was complimenting me, but... then he off-handedly commented that he ‘thought I was supposed to be a huge scaredy cat,’ and I just…” He could feel Jeno and Jaemin physically bristle at Renjun’s words, their bodies shifting closer to him.

“Well, you know you’re not, right? You’re extremely brave, Junnie,” Jeno declared, his voice strong and unwavering. Renjun simply shrugged in response, feeling defeated.

“Don’t give us that shrug!” Jaemin accosted Renjun with his suddenly loud voice, “Think of where you started, Injunnie! Under that hospital bed, worried to even come out and say hello to us. Now look at you!” Renjun sniffed loudly, pulling the collar of his shirt up to wipe at his face.

“But, that’s pathetic. Normal people-“

“You are normal, Renjun. I thought you knew this by now, love. You didn’t choose to have trauma; everyone’s lives are experienced differently and you’re living yours courageously,” Jeno’s voice came out with such conviction that Renjun couldn’t help the small shiver that ran down his arms at just how sure the other sounded of himself. Like there was no room to argue whatsoever.

“It just is still so hard sometimes,” breathing out, Renjun leaned his head to the side, resting against Jaemin who pulled him into his arms.

“I’m sure it is, love. But, that’s why we’re here. And Dr. Bae. And Donghyuck. And Jisung. And Mark,” Jaemin listed, carding his fingers through the soft hair on the nape of Renjun’s neck.

“I know,” Renjun retorted his voice small, trying to put at least a smidge of his normal sass into it. The two noticed his attempt and smiled tenderly.

“Now, come here and let me kiss you breathless,” Jaemin suddenly said a slightly more serious tone as he pulled Renjun up, taking his jaw into his hands and pulling their lips together.

If Jaemin was trying to make him breathless, it was definitely working. His lips worked against Renjun’s biting his bottom one lightly before releasing it when he earned the softest of whines from Renjun whose arms had come up to circle around Jaemin’s neck.

The other’s tongue swiped its way across his bottom lip, and Renjun didn’t need any more prompting before opening his mouth and leaning farther into the kiss in order to lick into Jaemin’s mouth.

Running his tongue over Jaemin’s, stroking it with his own, Renjun felt smug at the soft grunting noise the other let out. Before he could grow too confident though, he felt soft lips press against the hollow of his neck from the side and he gasped in surprise. Jaemin lowered one of his hands to grasp at Renjun’s tiny waist and pull his face forward to shove his tongue in the other’s mouth, taking the lead now. He let their tongues wrap around one another as he explored Renjun.

Jeno began to bite the skin on Renjun’s neck now, licking over the places he sucked into his mouth harshly before letting go, leaving patches across his neck. When Jeno blew lightly over the wet saliva he had left on Renjun’s neck, he couldn’t help but to shiver and mewl loudly, breaking away from Jaemin who stared at the sight with hooded eyes.

“Do you want to, Renjun?” Jeno whispered vaguely against his neck, Renjun’s eyes closed and he leant back to expose the whole column of his neck to Jeno begging him to mark it up. When Jeno ran his teeth along the raw skin he had sucked mercilessly, Renjun moaned loudly causing Jaemin to suck in a deep breath.

“Renjun, fuck me.” Both Jeno and Renjun’s eyes blinked slowly at Jaemin, processing what he had just said.

“Do you want to sleep with us, Renjun? It would be a good way to start. You with Jaemin, I mean.”

Renjun felt breathless, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he thought of being inside of Jaemin. Seeing the taller pink haired boy he loved falling apart underneath him while he was led by Jeno, and maybe… he would get to see Jeno with Jaemin-

“Yes,” Renjun gasped breathlessly nodding his head rapidly, Jeno slipped his hands underneath Renjun’s shirt, trailing his fingertips up the hybrid’s sides, the other’s touch so light it tickled and made him squirm.

“Perfect,” Jaemin smirked, stepping out of the bed and crossing to the other side to trifle through their bedside table before tossing a bottle of lube and a few condoms onto the bed.

His breath shaking, Renjun stared at the items at the end of the bed before Jeno pulled the hybrid’s shirt over his head and threw it to the ground before he sat back and did the same thing with his own.

“And you’re sure, Junnie? You’re ready for this?” Jeno asked, hugging his bare torso, pulling him back against his own, their bare skin touching, making Renjun shiver.

“Yes, please. I want you both. I love you both so much. So, so much,” Renjun whispered, twisting his body to press his lips against Jeno’s, devouring him the way Jaemin had done to him earlier. Letting their tongues mingle in a pace that was slowly becoming desperate, he relished in the low, feral grunt Jeno released.

“Do you want to finger me, Junnie?” Jaemin asked, far too casually. Sputtering, Renjun swallowed at the sight of Jaemin spread out, still completely clothed on the bed. He had let his legs fall open and he tilted his head at Renjun, begging him to touch him with his eyes.

“Ca-can I try?”

“Of course, baby. Come here,” Jaemin held out his arms while Renjun looked back at Jeno who gave him a reassuring smile.

Renjun crawled between Jaemin’s legs, sitting back on his ankles and placing his hands on his thighs waiting for instruction. Reaching out, Jaemin grabbed Renjun’s hands and placed them underneath his shirt, forcing him to grasp the material.

“Undress me, Injunnie,” he breathed out making the hybrid shiver.

Beginning slowly, he helped maneuver Jaemin’s shirt above his head before looking down to his pants and gingerly opening the button on them. This would be the first time he would fully see Jaemin and he was vibrating with nerves.

Jaemin arched his hips up to help Renjun slip his pants down and off his ankles, Jeno grabbed them and tossed them to the same place their shirts had gone. 

On the floor. 

Renjun was left staring at Jaemin’s half hard length in his underwear and he couldn’t help to groan lightly because he looked like he was going to be big, too.

“What do you want to do to me, Injunnie?” Jaemin breathed out seductively, sending the blood rushing down to Renjun’s groin.

_Jaemin will be the death of me._

“I want,” his eyes fluttered around in a flurry, taking in Jaemin’s hardened abs, his spread legs, his beautiful face. One last look and Renjun decided.

Leaning down, he connected their lips briefly before pulling back and shimmying Jaemin’s underwear down and off, hearing Jeno chuckle light heartedly at him when he got the material stuck on Jaemin’s foot for a second before throwing them.

When Jaemin’s length was exposed to the air, it began to fill more and more while Renjun stared at it, taking in the pink flush across the other’s chest that matched the head of his cock prettily.

Why was his dick so pretty? This was unfair.

Grasping it in his hand, Renjun quickly went over the things Jaemin had taught him and began to put them to use. He tucked his teeth away, sticking his tongue out to lick across the top of his member, gathering the salty precum in his mouth and swallowing, looking up at Jaemin timidly.

“That’s good, baby. Keep going,” Jaemin encouraged, as he began to run a hand through Renjun’s hair.

Suddenly, large hands grasped Renjun by his waist and hoisted him backwards quickly, causing him to prop himself up on all fours and pull away from Jaemin’s cock to look back. Jeno was playing with the tops of Renjun’s jeans, wrapping his hands around the smaller, pressing their shirtless bodies together while he undid the buttons to begin to pull his pants off his legs.

“Go ahead, keep going, Junnie,” Jeno nodded at Jaemin, who lightly tugged on Renjun’s hair to direct his attention back to his now fully swollen and very lengthy cock. He couldn’t help the small mewl that escaped his lips when Jaemin’s hold tightened in his hair, jerking his head when he had begun to sink his lips down around him.

“Oh, does our princess like that?” Renjun tried to glare up at Jaemin, the nickname not as effective while he was not in heat. The other simply tugged his hair harder, making him whimper and rush to pull Jaemin’s length as far into his mouth as he could.

Renjun’s jeans had been tugged off, and right after, when Jeno went for his underwear, his spit slicked lips popped off of Jaemin, where he had been suckling the head of his dick.

“Jeno?” He asked voice small as Jeno’s thumbs ran around his hips underneath material while the other slowly lowered his underwear.

“Hm?”

“Um, wha-“

“Remember what Jaemin did last time?” Renjun ran through his mind for a second trying to understand what Jeno was talking about. 

And then it hit him, his face flushed as he thought back to Jaemin’s tongue buried inside of him. His legs automatically came together to squeeze tightly trying to get some relief which Jeno laughed at lightly.

“I thought... you said you didn’t like it?”

“I don’t like receiving, I have no problem giving,” Jeno murmured, tugging his underwear the rest of the way, leaving both he and Jaemin completely bare once the material fell to the ground. “Go on then, Renjun. If you stop sucking Jaemin off, I’ll stop, too.”

Determined, Renjun leaned back down, closing his lips around the other’s length, sinking down slowly, still nervous of doing something wrong. Remembering how good it had felt when Jaemin did it, he pressed his tongue flat against the other’s cock, putting pressure onto the underside and slowly moving up and down.

“Ah, good boy, Injunnie. That’s it,” Jaemin encouraged, combing both of his hands through his hair now.

When he felt his ass spread by Jeno, he couldn’t help but to clench in anticipation, closing his legs once more. Strong hands pried his thighs open and wetness came into contact with his rim. It felt so good so fast that Renjun’s eyes watered as he looked up to Jaemin for help, still lightly suckling at his cock.

“You were right before, Jeno,” Jaemin panted out, “this is a sight to behold that’s for sure,” he laughed one breathy laugh while Renjun began to whimper around him, pushing himself to take more of Jaemin, earning a throaty groan in response.

Jeno’s tongue circled around the taught muscle, his thumbs right on either side of his hole, after having let go of Renjun’s thighs. He pulled his rim apart slightly, tonguing at his slightly opened entrance.

Laving across him, Jeno’s wet muscle pressed completely flat and ran across him; Renjun began trying to not squirm away from the feeling. Gripping Jaemin’s length unintentionally harsh at the base, he began to purr, remembering how much Jeno had liked it.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, Jeno I totally get it now,” Jaemin gasped, groaning while Jeno simply chuckled hearing the low purring noises while he began to stick the tip of his tongue past the slightly loosened muscle.

Jeno’s nose came forward, smashing itself against Renjun’s ass, as he opened his mouth as wide as he could and plunged his tongue inside of him. The sensation made Renjun gasp and accidentally shove far too much of Jaemin down his throat, immediately choking and swallowing him down even further in response.

Jaemin whimpered at the feeling, Renjun’s nose close to the base of his cock now, as he gripped the other’s waist tightly, holding on for dear life while Jeno fucked his tongue in and out of Renjun, showing no mercy.

Renjun’s eyes were watery and wide, while his lips were red and glistening with the spit that dribbled down onto his chin when he looked up to Jaemin, pleading for relief.

“Oh, god. Okay, Renjun get off, I’m going to cum if you don’t stop,” Jaemin breathed, slowly inching the smaller off of his cock, pulling it from his throat, groaning on the way out.

Coughing slightly, Renjun’s arms began to shake as Jeno continued to tongue at him. When he finally thought maybe he could speak to ask Jaemin what he wanted next, he felt Jeno’s hands sneak up to the small of his back before reaching out to grab his tail at its base.

Renjun’s eyes went wide as he knew just exactly what Jeno was about to do, while Jaemin looked on with rapt attention. Jeno pulled Renjun’s tail towards his head, causing the hybrid to lift his ass more into the air, presenting prettily for Jeno’s taking. The hybrid choked out a sob as Jeno began to hold his tail at the base tightly while spearing him open once more.

When Jeno started using his solid grip on Renjun’s tail to pull his ass forwards and back, making him fuck himself on Jeno’s tongue, he couldn’t stop his whole body from shaking. Scrambling to find purchase on Jaemin to hold himself up, he looked up to the other who was smirking in fascination watching the sight before him.

“So, our Injunnie likes his tail pulled, huh?” Jaemin asked, his voice lively. “Hm. You’re kind of naughty, I’m a bit surprised.”

He stared down at Renjun who couldn’t close his mouth as he gasped each time Jeno pulled his tail back down to rock his tongue into his ass. Eyes glistening, on the verge of drooling, and looking completely fucked out, Jaemin couldn’t wait any longer.

“Babe. Lube, hurry I can’t wait.”

Jeno grunted from where he was buried in Renjun, before pulling back and making Renjun’s untouched cock twitch uncomfortably in need, leaking onto the sheets beneath them.

The other leaned far across the bed to grab the lube and the condoms, bringing them closer while looking at the completely fucked out state Renjun was in, smiling at his work.

“Do you wanna watch me do it, Junnie? Or do you wanna try?”

“Wanna try,” Renjun asked, pushing himself up onto unstable arms before grabbing the lube and scooting close to Jaemin’s groin where the other pulled his knees up, feet flat on the bed, and let his legs fall open, spreading himself.

“Go ahead, baby,” Jaemin spurred him on while Renjun stared at the other’s tight muscle, realizing he couldn’t help but dive forward towards it.

It felt so good for him, so he figured it would feel good for Jaemin, too.

Peppering his rim with small kittenish licks, he looked up to Jaemin whose mouth was opened in awe. Renjun grabbed the globe of his ass and spread it only slightly, before closing his eyes and licking it the way he would kiss someone with tongue.

“Fuck. Renjun you’re going to be the death of me,” Renjun simply mewled in response before pushing forwards and burying his tongue inside the other who panted loudly. He gave a few shallow thrusts before he pulled back and grabbed the lube, struggling to open the lid, his hands shaky.

Jeno took it from him, swiftly popping the top, and leaning over to open Renjun’s palm and squirt some in it.

“Warm it up a bit first,” Jeno advised. Renjun nodded and began to rub it between his fingers before hesitantly bringing his hand to Jaemin’s now slightly puckered rim.

“Just do it how you remember you like it,” Jaemin breathed, his hands coming up to grasp his thighs to help hold himself open.

“And go slowly,” Jeno added as Renjun began to press a single finger to the tight muscle. It took a small amount of pressure before it slipped inside, finding it a bit easier to slide it all the way once he got past the muscle.

“Ugh, Renjun. You feel so good.”

Renjun knew Jaemin was probably over exaggerating to boost his confidence, but that didn’t stop the small swell of pride and blush that spread throughout him. He pumped his finger shallowly; each time he pushed in he earned a soft breath from Jaemin.

“Go ahead and add another one, he can take it,” Jeno spoke from behind him, circling his arms around Renjun’s waist, his fingers dancing across his skin teasingly.

Listening to Jeno, Renjun pulled his finger out and applied more lube when they told him to, before pressing two fingers against his rim now. Once again, he had to put pressure on it for it to open up and let him sink his digits inside.

Jaemin began to readjust himself and grip his own thighs tighter at the stretch. This time, Renjun thrusted them a bit faster, concentration on his face as he went. Jeno would whisper pointers into his ear, how Jaemin liked it. What he didn’t like.

Soon, Renjun was three fingers deep in the other, whose neck was flushed pink, head reclined back on the pillows and eyes clamped shut. Renjun was leaning over him, smiling smugly at how he had reduced Jaemin to a puddle of pleasure, with Jeno’s help of course.

Jaemin’s skin and hair were a similar color as Renjun was flooded with confidence, leaning down to suck at Jaemin’s neck while he pounded his fingers forward, punching soft noises out of him every time they went all the way in. He brought his free hand up to grab onto Jaemin’s waist and press him into the bed.

“I think he’s ready, baby,” Jeno chuckled at just how destroyed his partner already looked.

Lifting himself off of the other, Renjun inched back, gently removing his fingers from a shaky Jaemin. Jeno grabbed Renjun’s swollen and sensitive length, making him curl into himself with a sharp gasp, both his hands going down to grab Jeno’s, afraid that even the smallest bit of stimulation would send him over the edge.

Poor Jaemin, there was no way Renjun was going to last.

Moaning embarrassingly loud, Renjun’s attempt to pry Jeno’s slowly pumping hand off of him, only made the other’s grip tighter as he grabbed the hand that was jacking him off.

“We have to take a bit of the pressure off, Injunnie, or else you’ll cum as soon as you stick your dick in our Jaeminnie.”

 _Our_ Jaeminnie.

Renjun liked the sound of that.

Holding on while letting Jeno stroke him a bit, he hoped that he could make Jaemin feel good.

Helping Renjun put the condom on before grabbing the lube to squirt it into his own palm, Jeno began to slick Renjun’s cock. The hybrid couldn’t resist fucking into the smooth glide of Jeno’s hand, whimpering when he tightened his fist.

Jeno leaned forwards to bite and suck at Renjun’s neck hard, punching the air from his lungs as his grip tightened harshly on his cock making him scream lightly.

“Babbyyyyyyyyyy, fuck meee,” Jaemin pouted from the place where he laid in bed, staring at Jeno trying to get Renjun off before he had even put his cock in him. Taking mercy on them both, Jeno let go and allowed Renjun to scoot forward, already breathless as he began to line himself up with Jaemin.

Renjun looked up before glancing back down and looking up once more, Jaemin shot him a soft smile while he felt Jeno’s arms envelope him from behind. Leaning over his shoulder, Jeno pressed a kiss to the hybrid’s cheek, while Jaemin smiled even brighter.

“I love you both,” Jaemin stated, making a different type of heat flood Renjun’s body. He felt almost high; he was so full of longing and love.

“Love you, too Jaem. Love you, Junnie,” Jeno said as he nuzzled into Renjun’s neck.

“I love you both. So, so much.” Renjun spoke softly before breathing out a deep sigh and grabbing his arousal.

He lined himself right up to Jaemin’s rim, directing his length with his hand, trying not to shake as he applied pressure in order to slip past the muscle. It took a small bit of probing, but soon enough Jaemin opened for him, quickly sucking Renjun in making all the air in his lungs leave him.

Renjun couldn’t stop gasping as he continued to sink slowly into a softly whining Jaemin. He was staring down at where he was disappearing inside of the other, absolutely breathless at the sensation.

When he bottomed out, he looked up to Jaemin, mouth slack and asked if the other was okay. When Jaemin gave him the nod to go, Renjun nervously pulled back out, grabbing onto Jaemin’s legs and pushed himself back in.

Renjun hissed between his teeth, the other’s tight heat was insane, and he completely understood the hype. He continued his slow pace, only growing more hurried when Jeno’s hands began to drift upwards and toy with his sensitive nipples.

He knew he was probably sloppy, but Renjun couldn’t help but to thrust himself haphazardly into Jaemin who was panting slightly at every push. Jeno pressed on Renjun’s back making him sink in deeper which caused both of the others to moan in unison. 

Jaemin stilled Renjun for a moment, while he grabbed a pillow and put it under his own hips, extending his legs again before nodding.

This time, when Renjun slid into Jaemin, with Jeno whispering in his ear to angle upwards, he received a choked off cry. He continued to sloppily thrust in the same direction; each time he speared Jaemin open the other couldn’t keep his mouth closed, emitting continuous whines. He must be hitting his prostate, and Renjun was smug and happy that he could bring Jaemin to this point of pleasure.

Speeding up, Renjun could feel his muscles clenching much too soon; he knew he wouldn’t last long, so he tried to not be embarrassed. But, when Jeno pinched his nipples harshly, making his hips stutter while fucking Jaemin, Renjun couldn’t hold it in.

His muscles contracted tightly before they unraveled and he released into the condom, gasping loudly while he chased the feeling of his orgasm inside of Jaemin’s body.

After a few moments, Renjun came to a stop, his body damp with sweat that Jeno was kissing off.

“Felt good, Injunnie,” Jaemin gasped from underneath him, face wrecked.

Jeno helped him pull out and dispose of the condom before making quick work of putting his own protection on. Slicking his own self up, he plunged into Jaemin, immediately making the other scream loudly and reach his hands out to hold onto Jeno’s arms for dear life, as he began to pounded relentlessly into the other.

Renjun’s chest rose and fell heavily at the sight of Jeno’s muscles in his arms, back, and abdomen ripple and clench with the pressure of how hard he fucked Jaemin. And it must have felt heavenly, because Jaemin’s eyes had rolled back into his head and his mouth was agape while he was hammered relentlessly.

Wanting to help and also entranced by the sight before him, Renjun scooted over and picked up Jaemin’s length causing the other to suck in a sharp breath and open his eyes to look down at Renjun while he sunk his mouth back around him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Renjun, you’re going to—fuck!”

Jaemin threw his head back against the pillow as Renjun sunk down as deep as he could comfortably go and bobbed up and down religiously, careful to not hurt him while Jeno still slammed into his body mercilessly causing all three of them to be jerked around.

It only took a few more moments of Renjun sucking at Jaemin’s cock and Jeno fucking into him, for Jaemin to come down his throat, which he swallowed, not wanting to make a mess and also remembering how hot it had looked when Jaemin had done it.

When he came down from his high, Jaemin began to cry at each stroke of Jeno’s cock inside of him. It must have been so much. 

Renjun thought back to his heat when Jeno had given him back to back orgasms and how sensitive he had felt.

Tears welled in Jaemin’s eyes while Jeno leaned down and kissed Jaemin’s lips softly, resting their foreheads together while he grunted at each thrust.

“Close, babe.”

“Come on both of our faces,” Jaemin asked, turning to look at Renjun who straightened back up onto his ankles nodding.

“Oh, shit! Okay, come here quick,” Jeno groaned, pulling swiftly out of Jaemin and discarding his condom. The other moved, getting onto wobbly knees next to Renjun and opened his mouth sticking his tongue out towards Jeno.

When Renjun looked at Jaemin, he did the same thing and locked eyes onto Jeno who was fastly fisting his own length. As soon as their eyes met, Jeno came, releasing over both of their faces as Renjun quickly closed his eyes.

Some of it landed in Renjun’s mouth, and he closed his lips to swallow it before wiping the back of his hand across his face where some of the cum had reached.

Opening his eyes, he saw Jeno and Jaemin, both completely exhausted and worn out, and Renjun knew he didn’t look much better. Jeno rolled over and groaned before pushing himself up to stand.

Renjun followed, helping Jeno by getting a couple of damp towels while he put the lube and condoms away. When he came back to the bed, they all wiped one another down, before snuggling closely.

One look at the clock showed that it was almost bedtime anyways, so the three of them got as close as possible, and simply rested their eyes.

“I love you so much. I’m so thankful all my firsts have been with you two. You’re both so wonderful,” Renjun sleepily muttered while Jeno reached his arm over Jaemin to run his thumb across Renjun’s cheek while Jaemin giggled.

“Love you, too.”

“Love you most!”

“Jaemin, don’t even start it.”

That night, Renjun fell asleep to the soft bickering between the two most important people in his life over who loved who more.

Everything was absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (づ￣ ³￣)づ I'm back and with a 7.6K long chapter, too! I hope I didn't lose everyone who had been reading along. Let me know what you all think!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was pointed out to me that my plot has quite a few holes in it, i’m sorry, I didn’t have a beta for about 97% of this whole fic so I missed a lot
> 
> hopefully you all can still enjoy it
> 
> my father is also having a really big surgery today, so if i’m absent for a bit I apologize

He was going to do it.

He had prepared, and he was ready to do it.

Nothing could stop him.

Renjun heard the front door open, signaling that Jeno was home as he crouched behind the corner of the hallway, waiting.

The sound of him hanging his keys up was followed by the pitter patter of his fancy shoes.

And-

And-

“Boo!”

Renjun jumped out from behind the corner of the hallway, tail straight up behind him and his arms up in the air. A giant smile shone right at his boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, Renjun had two boyfriends now), and his eyes were alight with mirth.

Jeno simply stopped walking and looked down at Renjun, confusion across his face with his arms full of groceries.

“Uh… ahhh?” Jeno fake called out, trying to not let Renjun be too disappointed, but that had only made it worse. Tail thrashing angrily, Renjun stomped down the hallway to his room, muttering under his breath.

“Stupid Jaemin saying that stupid Jeno would be scared. Stupid. Waited for, like, twenty minutes, stupid. But noooo, he was stupid and Jaemin is stupid,” grumbling, Renjun flung himself face first onto his bed before picking up a pillow to place over his head while the rest of his body went slack.

“Junnie?” Jeno called from his door, the tone of his voice giving away that he was seconds from breaking out into laughter.

“Stupid boyfriends being stupid. Making _me_ look stupid. Stupid,” his tail was still whipping around while he lay completely stagnant, face buried into the sheets and head covered with his biggest pillow.

“Were you trying to scare me, Junnie?”

“Yes!” Renjun shouts, voice muffled, “Jaemin said you’re easily scared and we made this bet and I _lost!”_

“Hmmmm, what Jaemin doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We can tell him you scared me,” Jeno spoke, his voice low because they knew their other boyfriend was upstairs in the shower at that moment.

Renjun popped his head back out in a flurry, his tail and ears pointing straight up while his mouth opened in surprise.

“Could… we?” Renjun carefully asked while Jeno nodded, wiggling his eyebrows before coming over to the bed to sit next to him, pulling him into a cuddle hug.

Giggling loudly, he let Jeno manhandle him into a close embrace, Renjun’s back pressed against Jeno’s front. They sat there cuddling for a while, chatting mindlessly about Renjun’s new commissions and Jeno’s new advertisement ideas.

Snuggling into Renjun’s neck, Jeno left small kisses that started to tickle, and before he knew it, he was pinned down beneath the brute being attacked. His sides felt like they were bruising from the force of the other’s hands that refused to let up.

Why did they always tickle _him?_ Couldn’t he and Jeno just gang up on Jaemin instead?

Tears began to leak from Renjun’s eyes as he squeaked and yelled out trying his hardest, and failing, to escape Jeno’s hold on him.

“Oo, a tickle fight. Are you consoling our baby because he lost?” Jaemin said smugly from the doorway, smirk in place with his hair slightly damp from his shower. Wiping the tears from laughter off his cheeks, Renjun sat up as Jeno moved off of him.

“Actually, I won.”

Jaemin’s mouth popped open in surprise, looking back and forth between the two before he narrowed his eyes and pointed at Jeno.

“You,” he playfully seethed, tone accusing, “You let him win, didn’t you?”

“What ever could you be talking about, Nana?” Renjun enunciated each word, feigning over-dramatized innocence.

“See! You’re literally giving it away! That was a blatant lie!”

“Still won.”

“I _refuse_ to give you an hour long back massage because he obviously wasn’t-“

The sound of their front doorbell rang, startling the three out of the teasing argument they were having. Jeno looked over to Jaemin who arched an eyebrow and simply shrugged in response before getting up and moving down the hallway to answer the door.

“I dunno, maybe Taeil dropped by?” Jeno called out over his shoulder.

Jaemin went to Renjun’s bed, putting him in a loose headlock and drowning his face with kisses, small spots of spit left on his cheeks while the hybrid tried to pry him off. Which he was unsuccessful in, of course.

“Hey, Injunnie! You’ve got company!” Jeno’s voice rang out from the door, making Jaemin pause his ministrations. Seizing the moment, he wriggled out of the other’s grasp and blew a raspberry at him before running down the hallway giggling.

When he rounded the corner, Renjun came to a halt, skidding slightly on the wooden floor.

Yangyang was standing at the door uncomfortably wringing his hands with his eyes glued to the ground. Jeno had a soft smile on his face as he stood to the side holding the door open.

“Oh! Hi, Yangyang,” Renjun called out, stepping forward to greet the puppy whose ears were drooping. When he had spoken, Yangyang’s face shot up to look at the other immediately.

“R-Renjun. Hi, can we talk?” Nodding softly, the puppy gingerly stepped through the doorway, his shoulders hunched over as if he was intimidated. Guilt washed through Renjun seeing just how timid and anxious the other looked.

Reaching out and grabbing his hand, Renjun pulled the jumpy puppy inside their apartment and led them straight across the room to the balcony. Pulling the door back harshly, Renjun gently shoved Yangyang outside before looking back and seeing Jaemin and Jeno stare at him in question. Shaking his head no, Renjun shut the balcony door and took a hold of Yangyang’s shoulders and gently eased him down into the nearest chair.

Renjun pulled up another one and sat in front of him, giving him a tender and open smile, trying to lessen his nerves. Even though, Yangyang was still fidgety, his leg continuously bouncing.

“Renjun, I’m really sorry. I really had no idea,” he stared, his eyes wide and imploring.

“I know! And I had no idea that I would have reacted that way to what you said, Yangyang. Truly, it’s not your fault.”

“But, I made you cry?” He titled his head in confusion, ears flopping to the side. “How could it not be my fault? It’s what I said that made you so upset…” Sighing, Renjun leaned forward and grasped the puppy’s hand. 

How could he explain this?

“Yangyang? I have some trauma when it comes to the outside and... things,” he waved his hands vaguely, not quite sure how to start. “So, like, hearing that made me upset?” Yangyang’s shoulders drooped again as he nodded, knowingly.

“I know. I really am sorry, and I want to make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to make up anything to me. Thank you for your apology. It’s my brain's fault, though, because I was already embarrassed by being so afraid? If that makes sense?” Moving his head to tilt it the other way, Yangyang squinted, processing.

“I think so? So, like, your brain is the bad guy? That’s fucked up! You’re really cool, you don’t deserve a bad brain. It’s like you’re venom or something. Like, evil goo has taken over you and made you not like the outside- but well he’s kind of an anti hero, really. Not a total bad guy; there’s some grey area there…” His words tapered off towards the end making Renjun giggle lightly.

“Yeah, I guess so? Honestly, I’m still not 100% sure myself why I reacted that way, so- uh- yeah?”

“Yeah.” Yangyang nodded, his face taking on a no nonsense expression. “Renjun, if I can help your brain get better I would like to try. If I can help at all, I want to! Please?” He added softly at the end, eyes becoming slightly vulnerable.

Renjun’s heart swelled at the other’s words while he tried to not become too emotional by the sentiment. It was amazing the group of friends Jeno and Jaemin had; these people were always so wonderful.

Plus, he really had simply just had a lot of fun with the other hybrid and Chenle at Mark’s just the other day. They were entertaining friends to have on top of being so kind.

“Absolutely, Yangyang. I’ll make sure you know. Here, give me your phone number,” The puppy jumped up to dig through his back pocket, a toothy grin on his face.

“Sweet! Okay! Do you like memes?”

“I mean, I guess? Some of them can be funny?” Yangyang gasped before handing his phone over to Renjun.

“Don’t worry. I can make sure you’re up to date.”

His tail wagged wildly when Renjun handed him his phone back with a contact with his name and a sparkle emoji next to it, since he had learned that that’s how Jisung saved Renjun’s name in his phone.

“Awesome! I’m so glad we’re friends now,” Yangyang’s face dropped as he froze and tentatively looked over to Renjun, “We-we are friends now… right?”

Renjun couldn’t help but to giggle and pet the other’s head which he leaned into, moving in a way that Renjun was forced to give him ear pets instead.

“Yeah, Yangyang. We’re friends.”

“Okay, why don’t you tell me what the conversation was before he said that?” Renjun nodded, shifting to sit on his hands as he looked at Joohyun through the computer screen.

“Well, we were playing the video game, like I told you, and I made a joke at Chenle’s expense that Jisung and Yangyang thought was funny,” she nodded her head, listening intently. “Then Yangyang said, like, I was a savage? Like I was really good at the game _and_ funny and he wasn’t expecting it.”

A soft smirk lifted Renjun’s lips as he thought back to the compliment. It was always fun to surprise people, which he was noticing happened more often than not. Apparently, when a tiny cat hybrid is outspoken and actually talented, it’s something to be amazed by.

He could dig into that mess another day.

“Okay, so then afterwards was when he said what you told me?”

“Yeah. The- uh- scaredy cat thing,” Renjun whispered, the words still somehow feeling raw and harsh on his tongue. Joohyun noticed the sharp change in his demeanor as she sat her tea mug down.

“Renjun, have you ever heard of a thing called a trigger word?” He mulled the phrase over in his head, but nothing came to mind.

“I mean, I know what those two words mean independently of themselves, but no.”

“Alright. Well, a trigger word, or just a trigger, is something that brings one’s trauma back. It’s something that _triggers_ their memory and forces them to relive or remember things they’d rather not. I believe that this might be one of those things for you.

“If words like what Yangyang said made you fall into a panic attack, then it’s something that we should take careful notice of. These can be things that you warn others about before meeting them, or tell your friends to avoid saying. It can be a bit awkward at times because it can feel revealing of what you’re going through, but, trust me, it will save you a lot of trouble.

“Trauma is a lingering monster that likes to hide away in the darkest corners of our mind, always waiting back there even when we’re not aware of it. The smallest thing could be a light that shines on it and bring those memories to the forefront of our minds.

“And, unfortunately, people go through their lives never realizing all the triggers they have. One day you could be driving and see the name of a restaurant that just randomly sends you into a spiral. It’s a hard, hard thing to overcome. But, you’re strong Renjun. You’ve already proved that time and time again.

“What we _can_ do, though, is make ourselves aware that we have triggers. Inform those around us of the ones we know we have. And, work on our techniques that we’ve been learning when it comes to recognizing and reeling back in our panic attacks. Okay?”

Renjun nodded slowly, his eyebrows furrowed taking it all in. It was a lot to process, but truly everything clicked and made sense when he pieced it together.

“So, is my trigger just, like, saying I’m,” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “scared? Of the outside?”

“Hm. Well, how did it make you feel to say those words?” Renjun shook his head, looking down to his fingers and pulling at the skin.

“Honestly, not too bad? More embarrassed than anything. I think…” he mused for a second before looking back up to Joohyun. “I think, maybe, it’s not admitting that I’m scared, it’s when people make a joke out of it?” She nodded deeply.

“That’s good, so what could you say to your friends and new people about that to warn them?”

“Uhhhh, I can tell them that I deal with some stuff when it comes to going outside, and that I would appreciate it if they didn’t make jokes about me being afraid of it? And also the scaredy cat thing? Maybe?”

“Maybe? You can always try it out. Triggers can change and morph, so why don’t you start with those couple of things?” She shrugged before smiling, “You’ve really come so far, Renjun. It’s incredible to see you do so well these days.”

“Oh, thank you,” Renjun said, blushing and swinging his feet. “Do you think I’ll be able to make it to the court date? It’s coming up,” his voice came out scared and small. Joohyun’s eyes immediately softened as she adjusted herself in her seat.

“Honestly? I believe you could. I think that you would have to take the precautions you’ve been taking, like when you went over to Mark’s house for the first time.” He nodded.

“That makes sense.”

“But. Do not push yourself. Do you hear me?” Renjun smiled at that, playfully rolling his eyes.

“Yes, mom,” she giggled at that, picking up her mug once more to take a drink.

It had become a small joke between them that she was Renjun’s mom with how protective she always seemed over him. He might joke around about it, but really it filled his heart with warmth whenever Joohyun would be extra attentive of him.

“Alright, Renjun. Same time next week?” Renjun nodded sharply. “And remember, you can always contact me whenever you need to, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodbye, Renjun.”

“Bye bye!”

“One more time.”

“I, Huang Renjun, know that Mrs. Lee was of sound mind and body up until the moment before she passed. I would be with her almost twenty-four hours every day, and not once had she appeared unstable. There are grocery receipts that show a balanced diet being purchased at a steady rate that was necessary for our survival. I also have a portrait of which I painted in Mrs. Lee’s likeness the weeks up to her death. In the portrait, you can clearly see…” He blinked before squinting his eyes in concentration.

“You can clearly see?” Taeil prompted, trying to get him to continue

“The liveliness-“ Jaemin whisper-yelled out to him from the couch, receiving a glare from Taeil as he put his hands up in defense.

“You can clearly see the liveliness in the portrait. For example, I have also brought with me a painting I have done of both Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin.”

“And then this is when I’ll give the copies of the portrait to the judge,” Taeil murmured, ticking something off on his notebook.

“If I may, I would like for the defendant to smile, so that you are able to see the resemblance of that to the portrait before you. This is only one of several instances of how I know Mrs. Lee was sane when she wrote her will.”

Renjun continued reciting the rest of his statement that was a whopping five paragraphs long. Taeil had collected plenty of evidence after going through some of Mrs. Lee’s things that had been deemed ‘trash’ and was able to put together a solid list of proof of her sanity.

Things were looking up, and it seemed as if it would be next to impossible for them not to win.

That is if Renjun can actually do it.

The pressure would sneak up on him out of nowhere from time to time. He’d be relaxing in the bath and then suddenly his head would be in his hands as he said his statement over and over again.

He would be painting, either on their porch or at Mark’s house, when his hand would start to tremble as he imagined himself standing in front of several people he didn’t know.

Especially people like Jeno’s aunt and uncle, who were garbage.

It was a lot for him to handle, but honestly, more often than not Renjun felt confident about it all. He may not be able to stroll outside onto the sidewalk and take a walk around their complex, but he and Donghyuck had gone to the indoor pool in the building the other lived in, and swam even while two other people were also in the room!

It was small things like that that added up like bricks he would use to reinforced his small house. He was the third pig in the tale of _The Three Little Pigs_ , and his anxiety was the big bad wolf who thought he could blow bricks down.

His lungs would have to be insane to do that.

Plus, his bricks were sturdy as fuck.

“Alright. It’s happening next week. How are you feeling, Renjun?” Taeil looked at the hybrid with friendliness in his eyes.

“I’m doing okay.” He nodded his head in affirmation, Taeil smiling at whatever level of resolve he must have seen in Renjun’s expression. 

“Great! I really believe in you, Renjun. I think you’re perfect for this statement,” Renjun arched an eyebrow at that because it sounded like he was just blowing smoke.

“What?” Taeil chuckled at his questioning tone and apparent hesitance.

“I mean it. When I first met you, there was just something about you? I had known a bit about your story from the court files alone, and you’re inspiring. It’s quite impressive what you do. And when you buckle down and get into serious mode, you speak with such conviction that I feel like maybe you should be doing my job.”

A laugh ripped its way from his chest both in happiness and absurdity. Him? Be a lawyer? But, he couldn’t lie and say that his heart wasn’t buzzing a bit with the other things he had said.

“That’s our Injunnie!” Jaemin called out, whooping loudly like he was at a football game.

“He was always a firecracker, Taeil. From the very beginning,” Jeno added, looking fondly at Renjun who was beginning to blush.

“I don’t doubt it one bit,” the lawyer gave one last close-lipped smile before bending to retrieve his papers. “Alright, I will leave you lovebirds alone for the night, and will see you in a few days.”

Renjun’s heart began to race. A few days and then he either would be standing in court giving a speech, or he would be on his way far from Jeno and Jaemin to god knows where with two people who couldn’t give less of a fuck about him.

Or, he would be stuck inside, a slave to his own fears.

When the door shut behind Taeil, Renjun drug his feet over to the couch and fell back onto both Jeno and Jaemin, his head settled in the pink haired boys lap.

“Do you guys think I can do it? Like, actually?” Renjun’s voice was raw and vulnerable, and his boyfriend’s knew that this was a very serious moment for him.

“The only thing I’ve ever been more sure of, Renjun, is having both you and Jaemin as my partners,” Jeno’s voice was full of genuine emotion and he was being so open with his heart that Renjun couldn’t help it when his eyes began to tear up.

“Okay, shut up ‘cause I’ll cry,” Renjun sniffled, bringing his hand up to wipe his nose.

“Renjun. I know that you’re going to kick Jeno’s shitty relatives’ asses. And I can’t wait to see it.”

All three of them began to laugh at that, Renjun posturing at Jaemin’s claim and showing off his nonexistent arm muscles making both of the other two laugh even harder. Renjun pretended to be upset, but it wasn’t very effective seeing as there was a huge smile on his face the whole time he was complaining.

When Jeno picked up Jaemin, spinning him a few times before dropping him onto the couch. Jeno gave one quick look to Renjun before they were both jumping Jaemin and attacking him with tickles, causing him to melt into a laughing mess.

He dodged Jaemin’s hands that tried to grab him and climbed onto the taller’s back, tickling from that vantage point, while Jeno fake kicked and punched at Jaemin’s hands that tried to pry Renjun off.

When finally they all were crying from laughter while gasping to try and catch their breath, and somehow their table had gotten kicked to the other side of the room, they collapsed onto the living room rug. They laid there in silence, with only the occasional giggle coming from one of them that would send the three spiraling back into another laughing fit.

He wasn’t sure how long it went on like that.

Even later, when Renjun had tried to practice his statement again, Jaemin had charged him and flattened him on their bed attacking him once more.

Jeno had found a fake coach whistle somewhere and began to mediate the other two’s brawl while also providing A+ commentary.

Cheeks split in a wide grin, Renjun brought his hands up to massage Jaemin’s face who had complained of his muscles hurting from laughing for too long.

“Oh, you big baby,” Renjun cooed, only earning a pout from the other while Jeno chuckled from the bathroom.

“No, you’re our baby,” Jaemin pulled Renjun once more onto the bed, this time though he simply cuddled him instead of tickling. “ _Ours.”_

 _“Yours,”_ Renjun echoed.

They sat like that for a minute before the hybrid let his hands fall to the bed as he remembered something important.

“Wait, you still owe me a massage!”

Jeno’s laughter bounced all the way from the bathroom tiles out into the open space of their bedroom while Jaemin’s joking whines and groans added onto the sweet noise. The combination of their noises melded into a strange Jeno and Jaemin type of music that had Renjun smiling once more.

This was Renjun’s favorite song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the fluff? I put lots of fluff in here for you guys ^^
> 
> here's the video that inspired the beginning of this chapter (warning: extremely adorable alert) [video~](https://twitter.com/tenspetal/status/1288545769583194115)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ)ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ(ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ
> 
> Thank you to the people who are still reading and commenting and leaving kudos (:  
> you’re what makes this so special ^^

The trial was tomorrow.

These past few months of his life, all of his happiness that he had accumulated up until now, could be gone by tomorrow.

And, it was early in the morning tomorrow, too. He wouldn’t even be able to sleep in.

It sucked.

He was curled up in between Jeno and Jaemin in their bed, mentally exhausted from having spent all day going over his statement again and again. So much so, that he was pretty sure Jeno and Jaemin could just put on some cat ears and do his part for him.

Which he was tempted to ask of them.

“Renjun?” Jaemin whispered softly into his hair that he was stroking with one hand, the other wrapped around Renjun’s back pulling his huddled form against his body.

“Yes?”

“How are you feeling, love?” Renjun felt Jeno shift around behind him, detaching himself and sitting up to be able to see his boyfriends’ faces. They had both already asked him a million times where he was mentally, and although he greatly appreciated it, it still only served to put him further on edge.

“The same as I have been,” Renjun responded scoffing lightly which he immediately regretted. The way his tone came out was snarky at best. Eyes widening in shame he quickly looked over Jaemin’s face. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like…”

“It’s okay baby, we know. We’re all on edge. Sorry we keep asking, it’s just-“ Jaemin stared at Renjun dead on, his words cutting themselves off as his eyes got shiny.

“We’re worried. We’re all worried.” Jeno added softly.

Renjun flipped over, propping his head up on his palm, his elbow digging into the soft pillow. Searching Jeno’s eyes, he was hit with a wave of emotions.

Love crested roughly in his inner sea while nostalgia slammed against the sandy beaches. The sun overhead lit up the ocean of his feelings that swirled with a sense desolation that warred with pure joy.

The short of it was that Renjun was an absolute mess.

One second he was looking straight into Jeno’s eyes, wishing that they would turn to those pretty half moons he loves so dearly, and the next he couldn’t see him at all because he had begun crying. Well, crying wasn’t exactly the right word.

He had begun sobbing.

His body heaved trying to suck air in as he curled in on himself feeling warmth surround him from either side. There were soft voices trying to coax him out of his cave of emotions and most definitely not succeeding.

Arms shaking, breath stuttering, and his neck growing sweaty was all that Renjun could focus on. Everything else was too intense.

Was he crying because he was so stressed?

Was he crying because he’d never felt so loved before in his life?

Was he crying about how that love could be wrenched from his fingertips by the end of tomorrow?

Renjun was going to have to sleep on a wet pillow by this point since his tears had soaked most everything around him thoroughly. Occasional loud sobs that broke off on the end would emit from his body, and now he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. They were impossible to hold still, and his whole body was starting to feel that way.

He needed to run. He couldn’t do this. It would be so much easier if he simply ran away and lived somewhere in a small alleyway like a real cat than to go through having the loves of his life stripped away from him.

In his heart of hearts, Renjun knew that his spirit would die if that happened.

There’s no way he would ever recover.

His hands gripped tightly in his hair as he balled himself up even more, pulling at the strands to try and ground himself.

Was he rocking in place? It kind of felt like he was rocking in place. Was he doing that?

Renjun hadn’t even realized he had had his eyes squeezed together until he opened them and saw he was sitting up now. Well, sort of.

Someone was holding him and his back was straight up, while the other’s was against the headboard.

Hold still rough in his own hair, Renjun turned his face to be met with Jeno’s own. The other was also crying, but incredibly less so than himself.

How someone could still be so gorgeous when they cried was beyond Renjun.

His beautiful, biggest and kindest heart in the world, loving unconditionally boyfriend crying and holding him and _oh god he couldn’t do this!_

Wailing, Renjun pulled on his hair once more.

Why the hell couldn’t he calm down!

He had done this, he was the reason Jeno was crying the way he was. If Renjun had simply gone to a shelter or vanished after Mrs. Lee had died, then Jeno wouldn’t be feeling pain right now. Of course, he still would have had to have gone to court, but he wouldn’t be feeling so helpless right now because of some stupid cat hybrid.

“Renjun. Renjun! Stop it!”

Was that Jaemin’s voice, he didn’t know.

He couldn’t think about it. Not Jaemin, too. His other love. His boisterous, unapologetically himself, so overflowing with love he didn’t know what to do with it all boyfriend.

He had hurt him too.

_God, he was hurting them._

Renjun’s scalp began to numb slightly, he knew his hands were still tugging hard, having grasped there like it was his own lifeline. His fists were clenched so tightly, he wasn’t sure he could open them even if he tried.

He knew this meltdown was scaring them, but he couldn’t stop.

Why could he not stop, god dammit!

“Baby,” a soft voice crooned, “baby, baby, baby. Our love. Our sweetest Renjun.”

A soft voice called, which now that Renjun was thinking about it, had been speaking for a while now.

“Sweetheart. Our perfect partner. Our strong, unbelievably brave, and talented love. Come back to us, baby,” the voice continued.

Renjun was gasping now, trying his hardest to catch his breath, but it wasn’t working. He still couldn’t breathe. And if he couldn’t breathe he would die which would only hurt Jeno and Jaemin more. It was almost as if he was making it his life goal to destroy their hearts.

“Renjun, our lovely Renjun,” another voice whispered into his hair. He felt someone take a hold of his hands and gently try to pry them from his hair. First they were unsuccessful, Renjun feeling as if his control was slipping away the looser his hands got. That if he didn’t feel the harsh pricks of pain along his scalp, something he could control, he would slip. He would really lose it.

Is this what it means to spiral?

He had no idea how long he was in the deepest state of panic, of absolute devastation for.

Every time it felt as if he could catch his breath, the soft, loving touch of one of his partners would send him back down into an abyss that he seemed to be forever trapped in. No matter how hard he clawed at the slick walls to get out, to get back to the surface, he continued to plummet.

When he really felt as if he was about to pass out, was when things began to clear slightly.

His vision swam and his head felt both too heavy and also like nothing at all at the same time. Renjun also noticed that at some point he must have finally let go of his hair as he now felt much larger hands holding his own instead of them pulling at his strands relentlessly.

“Our love, are you there? Hm, Injunnie?”

Renjun wanted to respond, but he was too overwhelmed with the raw feeling of life that was slowly moving back into his body. His hands and legs were prickling with pins and needles and blood had begun to rush back to them, and his head was pounding something fierce due to his grasp in his hair. And, he also had a burgeoning headache.

“Baby?” The other voice whispered. Renjun opened his mouth, only a broken breath of a sound coming out, his throat feeling raw.

Immediate guilt began to take over him when he realized what had happened. His voice was shot and it would affect him tomorrow, also Jeno and Jaemin were already worried to bits and he had just spiraled completely out of control in the middle of their bed for god knows how long.

“Yes,” Renjun was finally able to push past his lips, his dry eyes looked to his right where he was still wrapped snugly into Jeno’s embrace while Jaemin sat before him, holding and kissing his hands tenderly.

“Hi, love. Would you like some water?” Jeno asked with a soft smile before kissing his forehead.

“Please,” his voice croaked as he answered.

Leaning back, Jaemin grabbed a glass that was already on the bedside table handing it to the smaller who greedily gulped it down, not even realizing that maybe the other two had wanted a drink.

“I’m sorry. Did either of you two want…?” Jaemin gently shook his head no and he felt Jeno’s chest rumble as he chuckled softly.

“Our sweetest boy. He just finished having an attack and immediately is worried if we were thirsty, too.” Renjun blushed at that even though his whole body felt like lead.

Leaning against Jeno’s strong and large torso, he allowed his eyes to close shut as soft puffs of air escaped his mouth. His head was leaned back in such a way that his throat was completely exposed.

“That was so intense,” the hybrid finally addressed, his voice unbelievably tiny and afraid.

“Yeah, it was.” He heard Jaemin agree while Jeno shifted him in his hold slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Did Renjun want to talk about it? No not really, but he knew he should.

“It just came over me so quickly, all the worry I’m causing the two of you. That maybe if I hadn’t been here, you two could be less stressed about this all. You’re both so,” Renjun paused, struggling for the right words before he leaned his head back up and opened his eyes, “you’re both so special. So, unbelievably important and wonderful to this world. To _my_ world.

“I feel so guilty. Neither of you deserve this pain-“

“And you do?” Jeno challenged, his voice harder than Renjun expected it to be.

“Well, I know I should say no-“

“Exactly. You should say no,” Jeno cut him off, sounding slightly angry. “None of us deserve this, and that’s the truth. I would never make it through this without both of you by my side. Please, _please_ see how important to our lives you are, Renjun,” Jeno’s voice cracked, and went soft towards the end of his sentence.

“I’m nothing without you both. You’re my family,” Jaemin whispered, either of his hands coming up to gently cup both Renjun and Jeno’s faces respectively.

“Tomorrow will be so hard,” Renjun whispered, lowering his eyes. “I-…I don’t know if-if…. If I can do it,” he finally admitted, tears threatening to spill once more.

Renjun was surprised he had any moisture left in his body at all, so he quickly sniffled to try and keep them in.

“We have the affidavit written along with your statement for that specific reason, Injunnie,” Jaemin reassured, scooting even closer. “We won’t let you push yourself too far.” He felt Jeno nod next to him with concern but mostly calm acceptance in his eyes.

“I want to try. I really do, for you both, and for myself,” Renjun breathed, his sentence punctuated with a sigh instead of a period.

“We’ll see come morning, hm? Do you want me to warm up some soup and we can calm down a little more before we sleep?” Jaemin tilted his head grinning peacefully while Renjun turned to look for the clock. When he saw that it was already almost midnight, Renjun felt the exhaustion creep into his bones.

“I’d rather try and get as much sleep as we possibly can. I’m sorry for-“

“Don’t apologize for these things. Whatever you think you should be sorry for, you shouldn’t be. Okay, Junnie?” Jeno said quickly, not allowing Renjun to finish his sentence.

“Okay.”

They snuggled back down into a similar position they had been in before, only this time Jeno and Jaemin were on the opposite sides of him. Their grip was slightly tighter than before and he could feel the protectiveness radiating off of them.

“You know no matter what, we aren’t going to let them take you. Right?” Jeno spoke up, breaking the silence that had begun to settle.

“I know.” And Renjun did know.

He knew they would try hard no matter what.

But, sometimes just trying wasn’t enough to kill whatever monster had promised to take you down. And, Renjun could feel this monster already begging to drag him deeper.

  
  


They were at the court.

Renjun was at the court, too.

Why couldn’t he think in more sentences than one at a time?

Overwhelmed was the mildest way he could put how he felt. They had been sitting in the parking lot now for going on forty-five minutes. It was only him and Jaemin in the car as Jeno had to go inside and go over some things with Taeil before the trial started.

He was thankful that they had agreed to leave early enough to give Renjun some time to debate if he could handle this all. And now, as he sat in Jaemin’s car, his mind swirling with horrible scenario after horrible scenario, Renjun watched the dashboard clock tick another minute by.

Each time the number went up, it felt as if someone took the humidity level in the car and raised it to match. His neck, his palms, and his back were coated in a thin sheen of sweat from his nerves and cowardice.

Renjun knew the time he could spare to waste was ticking to a close and he needed to make a decision and fast. The thought of Donghyuck being inside in the audience with him was soothing to say the least, plus he would have both of his boyfriends, specifically Jaemin, by him the whole time.

The whole time until it was his turn to speak, that is.

Speak alone in front of officials who would probably already be judging him from the moment he stepped inside just because he had a tail and soft ears.

When the digital clock signaled yet another minute had passed, Renjun let out a long, deep sigh. He had to choose already, and the longer he waited, the less time he would have to familiarize himself with the inside of the court in order to become more comfortable.

And he had already lost so much time.

Just then, Jeno exited the building, a grim and professional look on his face. It was probably the wrong moment to think so, but he looked exceptionally hot in the blue button down, dark tie and dark slacks.

Jaemin was in complimentary black attire and Renjun rounded it out in grey. Their tailored outfits were courtesy of Doyoung of course, and as he thought back to the man, he found himself missing the other. Maybe, he could ask Jaemin if he could come back over for another fitting?

Snapping himself out of his derailed thoughts, Renjun shook his head trying to hype himself up. Obviously, Jeno was coming out to check on them again to see what decision Renjun had made, like he had done already three other times.

When the backseat door opened. Renjun cringed at the soft gust of wind that made its way into the car. Jeno saw this and offered Renjun a small smile as he climbed inside before shutting the door.

“How are things so far?” Jaemin asked from the front seat, his voice tighter than usual.

“Well, the last trial is still in session, but I was able to see who the judge was, and Taeil said it’s not really a good or bad thing. She’s really fair, so he said we’ll just have to see which way she rules it,” he shrugged, trying to appear unaffected even though his eyes continued to shift back to Renjun time and time again.

“I think I want to try,” Renjun whispered.

“Wait, what?” Jeno quickly turned his head towards Renjun, so fast that the hybrid actually worried for his neck.

“I want to try? I’ll just…” he shakily exhaled, grabbing his tail and wringing it, “I’ll go inside and see how I feel?” Jeno’s real smile broke out then, and it was almost as if he could see both of his boyfriends’ moods increase spectacularly.

“You’re truly astonishing, Renjun. You surprise me more and more every day,” Jeno shook his head at a fiercely blushing Renjun before Jaemin began to coo at Jeno’s sweet words, effectively ruining the mood.

“Let’s try then.”

Jeno cradled him in his arms and carried him to their destination, like it always had been when Renjun went outside. Inside the courthouse was exactly what Renjun had expected. It looked straight out of any TV show that had ever had a court involved in a scene.

The walls, floor, and spaced out benches were all the same shade of light, brown wood. The ceiling, an unflattering off white, was deceptively short, so much so, that if Jisung were here he would probably be able to touch it easily.

Jeno didn’t let Renjun down as he slowly walked the length of the open and almost completely empty main hallway, letting him take everything in and waiting for any sign of an attack.

Strangely, the overall slightly dingy vibe was significantly helping Renjun. It made everything seem less intimidating, and with the light colors it seemed more open.

When Jeno had reached the end of the hallway, Jaemin following behind them, he gave a small look towards Renjun right as Taeil rounded the corner and spotted them. A giant smile spread across his face when he spotted Renjun.

“So does this mean we have a Renjun for our trial?” Taeil asked softly, trying to not push it too much but also wanting to lighten the mood.

“Nono, can you set me down?”

“Are you sure?”

Renjun nodded and slowly he was lowered to the ground on shaky legs, immediately reaching to grasp both Jeno and Jaemin’s hands, clinging to them tightly.

“When will we be allowed to see the court?” The hybrid asked, voice small.

“Not until the current trial is over, which should be very soon actually,” Taeil responded thoughtfully, checking his watch before a resounding scoff echoed its way off of the wooden floor.

“You really think bringing that cat is going to help you?” Shivers ran up Renjun’s spine as he heard the sharp voice from behind himself, causing all of his fur to stand on end. The last time he had heard that voice had been when he was completely alone. Starving, suffering in silence and-

Renjun shook his head, counting his breathing, and stared at the floor to begin to count the wooden slats. They were placed in an almost nonsymmetrical way that was actually symmetrical if you looked closely, which Renjun liked.

There was probably a metaphor somewhere in there.

“See, it doesn’t even speak,” another scoff rang out, Renjun poked his head over his shoulder pretending that he was calm. Fake it until you make it, as they said.

“Excuse me, miss. But please leave us alone,” Renjun said. He was proud of himself for speaking even if his voice had come out quivering. When Jeno and Jaemin lightly squeezed his hands, he knew they were proud of him too.

The lady scoffed once more, rolling her eyes. (Jeez, can she not start a sentence without a scoff?)

“Oh now it speaks, fake politeness and all,” her eyes shot over to Jeno, slowly raking them up his ensemble with a sneer on her lips.

Jeno turned to face her, making the other two turn as well. He looked her straight on, even going so far as to send her a shallow bow of his head, which she of course did not return. When she finished eyeing Jeno, she turned to Jaemin and smirked then.

“I see you’re still living your disgusting lifestyle with this one? I’m not surprised by any means, but it’s funny to see you so confident in expressing how openly sinful and repulsive you are,” her eyes glinted with pride at her digging comment.

Renjun could feel Jeno deflate even though he tried to keep his back straight and aura proud.

“Lady, can you fuck off? I need to talk to my friends,” a familiar voice came out from behind her causing her to whip around in shock at the harsh words slung her way. Donghyuck was impatiently tapping his foot even though he could have easily gone around her. “Hello? I don’t have all day?”

“Excuse me, but who are you to think you’re allowed to speak to me that way?” Donghyuck arched an eyebrow.

“Uh, a law abiding citizen who is so wealthy I could probably own you and whatever shitty motel you live in?”

“We are in a court of justice! I could file for harassment right this second!”

“Do it baby, I know the law.”

Jeno’s aunt stood aghast before uttering one final scoff and turning on her heel. Donghyuck watched her go, and looked back to his friends wiggling his eyebrows before spotting the lawyer and quickly bowing.

“I hope I didn’t get us in trouble,” Hyuck replied, looking to Taeil who laughed good-naturedly.

“No. You’re not a part of our party, you’re just a random ‘law abiding citizen’ as you said,” he added a smirk at the end to get his point further across.

At that moment, the two large doors on the side of the hallway opened up to reveal a small gathering of people who were exiting, their faces displaying varying levels of distress. Which did nothing to help Renjun that’s for sure. In fact, he went right back to happily counting the panels on the floor, even making sure to add bonus points if they had that little darker ring in the wood as well.

Once the court was empty, Renjun walked timidly, each step taking several seconds, into the space. He was thankful for the grip both Jeno and Jaemin still had on his hands because he probably would have sprinted right out of there.

There were eight rows of pews on either side for the people who were watching to sit at, which is where Donghyuck would be. A dark railing separated the pews from two large desks that Renjun figured one of which was where Jeno and Taeil would sit.

Naturally, at the head of the room was a large podium and chair for the judge and next to it was an almost as highly raised witness stand. Which was where Renjun would be when he had to give his statement.

That’s when he had wanted to run. When he had seen just how much other’s attention would be on him in this completely new place.

Knees beginning to buckle, Renjun quickly began to backpedal and smacked straight into Donghyuck before being pulled back by both of his boyfriends. As a few people started to trickle in, including Jeno’s aunt and uncle, the voices of the people he loved the most began to soothe him.

_You’re doing great._

_Can you believe how far you’ve come?_

_I can’t wait to see that bitches face when you kick their ass with your statement._

_Are you okay, love? You know we’re here for you._

Their support was so overwhelming, Renjun felt himself begin to cry, his breathing becoming short. Jeno quickly maneuvered him to be hidden by his body as Jaemin crowded around the other side blocking even more of people’s view.

“Do you need to leave? Does Jaemin need to take you back? Talk to us, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, Injunnie, I’ll go start the car right now if-“ Renjun held up his hands and waved them dismissively while he shook his head no, tears still dripping down his cheeks.

“I just feel so supported,” he mumbled, “and so, so loved. It’s overwhelming,” he shuddered, looking back up into both of the other’s open gazes. Jaemin had slung his arm around Jeno’ waist and laid his head on his shoulder while smiling.

“Anything for our baby,” Jaemin winked, making Renjun roll his eyes and Jeno chuckle a bit. “Our _little_ baby-“

“Just because it’s court day doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass.”

Everyone had settled into their seats, Renjun and Jaemin directly behind the rail where on the other side Jeno and Taeil had sat. Donghyuck was in the row behind them occasionally running his fingers through the fur on Renjun’s tail, helping to calm him.

“All rise for Judge Kwon Boa,” a sturdy looking man from the front of the court called. It wasn’t long until the judge walked in after the bailiff announced her presence. She was a stern looking woman, but shockingly beautiful. Renjun was trying not to stare openly at her and spectacularly failed.

As she took her place behind the podium, the dark black robe billowing behind her and a look of absolute seriousness on her face, she sat before everyone else followed suit and waited for her next words with bated breath.

“Court is now in session,” the bailiff thundered out, crossing his hands behind his back.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and people that have come to be here with us today. The trial in session is a civil case. Now, if you please,” Judge Kwon gestured to Jeno’s uncle’s lawyer who quickly rose and put on a large charming smile.

“Hello everyone, hello Judge Kwon,” he bowed to her directly, with her only nodding in acknowledgement. “I’m here with you today because my client has filed to contest his deceased mother’s will, may she rest in peace,” he stared at the ground, a hand dramatically coming up to his chest as if he was in agony. Renjun heard Donghyuck snort from behind him.

The lawyer continued on and explained why they were contesting it and how he believed her to not be sound of mind the last several months leading up to her passing. Apparently, which Renjun hadn’t even known, Mrs. Lee had added a codicil recently before she passed, which is a fancy word for saying she changed her will.

When the man was done, Taeil stood and introduced his defense. Stating that he believes she was in fact absolutely of sound mind and body and that the codicil had to do with what had happened in her life at the time, which Renjun tilted his head in confusion at.

He was starting to think that maybe there were some things he didn’t know about this case.

An uncomfortable strain pulled in his gut as the other lawyer started his case. Pulling up letters that Mrs. Lee had sent and security footage of her fumbling to try and unlock her apartment door for almost ten minutes.

Renjun frowned at that because he knew she had severe arthritis and her hands were very shaky. At the end of her life she had so much trouble holding small things.

It was Taeil’s turn then, offering his statement and rebuttal. Bringing up exactly what Renjun had just thought about her arthritis, even producing receipts for the medication Renjun would help her take to dull the pain.

He went on providing a few more facts and Renjun could see Judge Kwon tilt her head and the harsh look on her face lightened to a normal gaze which he took as a good sign.

Then it went back to the other man, like a very intense game of tennis. Or possibly ping-pong (which Renjun preferred anyways).

Before the other lawyer finished his contesting spiel, he made a statement signaling that he would be calling a witness to the stand. Immediately, Renjun’s eyes darted around trying to see if he spotted anyone familiar.

There were a couple of other people in their complex that would stop by every few months and offer baked goods or a small chat before leaving, but other than that he wasn’t much sure who could be a witness. Possibly the cashier at the grocery store she always went to?

Still shooting his gaze around, wiping his sweaty palms on his much too nice slacks, the lawyer spoke and Renjun’s entire body came to a halt.

Every single muscle he had froze completely and it felt like he was falling back into that abyss never to escape again. Although his eyes were open and he knew he was looking straight forward, all he could see was black.

A black so deep he could feel its promise to ruin him for forever as it lulled him in.

His hands were shaking and his breath started to come in and out in little puffs. He knew that Jaemin was supporting him, and he’s pretty sure Donghyuck and Jeno were looking at him in shock and stupor. But, he didn’t process it because the words the other had said were ringing in his ears over and over again.

“I’d like to call Huang Renjun to the stand.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUHN DUHN DUUUUHHHHHNNNN
> 
> Do you guys hate me now 
> 
> My only knowledge of court & law is Legally Blonde so I'm sorry if it's unrealistic •ᴥ•
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	29. Chapter 29

“I’d like to call Huang Renjun to the stand.”

Nothingness rang throughout Renjun’s ears, his mind slowly shutting down. He should have been prepared for something like this. Why hadn’t he been prepared for something like this?

In one of the many papers that Taeil had gone over with Renjun, it was mentioned that he could possibly be called as a witness from either party. They had been foolish to dismiss it after talking about it for just a bit.

Taeil had been counting on the fact that they were greatly underestimating Renjun as a whole; their party barely seemed to view him as a living, breathing person. So, it had only seemed logical to focus more on his own statement that he would give instead of being trained in being questioned.

They had been foolish.

Renjun could tell in the immediate look backwards by both Taeil and Jeno how sorry they were in that moment. Taeil’s eyes flashed with regret and guilt, and when Renjun looked to Jeno, his eyes were filled with worry and love.

A hand slipped into his own and began to tightly squeeze his fingers. Renjun looked over to see Jaemin mirroring a look similar to Jeno’s. Words of comfort and encouragement were written across the other’s face, but Renjun was unable to process it properly.

He shouldn’t have come.

This was much too far out of his comfort zone, and he _should not have come_. He was going to make a fool of himself or say the wrong thing and then they would lose the case.

Then he would lose Jeno and Jaemin.

Then he would lose himself.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard Donghyuck curse in anger, but he was too busy focused on standing up, trying to get his legs to function properly.

What would this lawyer ask him? Would he make him look like an idiot up there? Like the dumb animal the prosecution already thought him to be?

He didn’t want to have a panic attack on the witness stand; he couldn’t even imagine what that might do to the credibility of his own statement.

This could ruin everything.

Jaemin stood with him, his jaw tight and glare boring into the prosecutor in accusation. The man simply smiled leisurely back at him like he had already won. Like he knew something that no else knew.

When they got to the gate that separated the audience from the people involved in the trial, the bailiff was there to open the short wooden gate for him. It took Renjun an embarrassing amount of time to let go of Jaemin’s hand and actually walk through to the other side.

His eyes were quivering and shot to his right to lock onto Jeno’s soothing ones. Grabbing his tail, Renjun’s ears laid flat against his head as he began to breathe harder and harder. Short puffs coming out of his mouth as he tried to use the grip on his tail and Jeno’s eye contact to ground himself.

Hands shaking, he timidly walked to the witness stand next to the judge and entered through the side to sit. Wringing his tail, Renjun’s shoulders began to tremble as he looked out to the people before him.

So many unfamiliar faces stared back at him, their eyes piercing holes through the small semblance of confidence he had left. The harshest gaze of them all was the man who had called him up. He stalked back and forth, a wicked gleam in his eyes, as he sized up Renjun’s small trembling frame.

The bailiff came over to him and presented a bible making him swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Renjun knew he had said it, but the blood rushing past his ears made it seem more like a dream. He couldn’t remember actually opening his mouth, but soon the bailiff was moving away and the shark of a prosecutor was descending into his space.

“Can you please state your name for the court?”

“H-Huang Renjun,” his voice came out small, but everyone must have been able to hear it because no one asked him to repeat it.

“And can you tell us what your relation to the deceased is?” Gulping, Renjun wiped his hands on his nice, tailored pants, cringing at the sweat that would probably damage the nice material.

“She-she, Mrs. Lee? She is—was my owner,” he exhaled a shaky breath shooting his eyes over to catch Jeno’s face who was giving him a small smile, scrunching his eyes up as Jaemin and Donghyuck behind him were also sending their own encouragement Renjun’s way.

The man nodded, coming closer to Renjun. Subconsciously, he leaned back away from the man, as the lawyer placed his elbow on the witness stand; he glared at the hybrid making his heart stutter with anxiety. Any calming effect the people he loved had on him vanished when all of his sight was swallowed whole by this man who radiated intimidation.

Renjun knew that that was his goal, but he couldn’t bring himself to not fall prey to it. His neck was damp and his hands clammy while still shaking in his lap as his leg began to bounce up and down rapidly.

He was reduced to not much more than a tight bundle of nervous and anxiety. His panic was practically palpable which probably didn’t bode well for them on believability.

“Now then, Huang Renjun. You had lived with the deceased for eleven years prior to her passing, is that correct?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, eyes flashing to the judge as she began to flip through a few pages on her stand.

“Would you say that she acted any differently the few months before she passed?” This was easy to answer, and Renjun simply tried to put himself into his witness statement mindset.

“No, she was always lovely and caring.”

“So, are you saying, she hadn’t grown ill the last five years leading up to that fateful day?” Renjun’s eyebrows furrowed down, shooting a quick look over to Jeno and Taeil.

“No, I never said that. She had gotten sick, yes, and I took care of her,” his mouth was dry, and he was constantly swallowing trying to get at least a little bit of moisture back.

“Hm, so she was sick? And you had been taking care of her? Is it possible then that since it happened so slowly, over five years that you were unable to tell just how far she may have slipped mentally?” Now Renjun was scowling.

“No. I’m positive she was still very much aware of the things going on around her.” The man simply hummed and finally leaned back, nodding his head and pacing.

“Do you happen to have any mental illnesses, Huang Renjun?”

His heart stopped.

Joohyun had diagnosed him over the course of their appointments, high functioning anxiety and mild depressive episodes.

He had to disclose that, didn’t he? But, he knew as soon as he said so that everyone would view him as messed up and not take his words seriously any more.

It was just as he had feared.

Breathing became harder as his chest clenched uncomfortably at the reality of the situation.

He was ruining it. He was ruining it for Jeno; for Jaemin. He was ruining everything.

Feelings from the previous night began to encapsulate him, as he choked on his own breaths, trying to keep quiet as possible in order to not embarrass himself and his party.

He couldn’t have a breakdown right here right now; Jeno was counting on him.

“Y-y-yes. Anxiety and depression,” he answered, head hanging as he heard the sound of papers shuffling to his right, which must have been Judge Kwon.

“Hm, and is it possible that these illnesses could have affected your perception of the situations around you?”

Renjun wanted to say no. He wanted to say no so badly, but it would be a lie. It was very obvious that anxiety affected him in his daily life and his perception of most things. Whether he had gotten better about it or not, Renjun still knew the answer.

“Yes, it’s possible,” he whispered, the man asked him to repeat what he had said louder. “Yes. I said it is possible,” his teeth were gritting together. He felt completely invalidated and reduced down to nothing more than his anxiety.

“So then, technically, it _is_ possible that your perception had been compromised as well?”

“I-I guess so,” he shot his eyes over to a scowling Taeil and Jeno. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Jeno look so absolutely livid. If looks could kill, the prosecutor would be on the floor right that second, his life seeping from him.

“No further questions your honor.”

The man smugly made his way back to his seat by Jeno’s uncle, as Taeil stood and approached Renjun now. He hadn’t been sure if he should also get up and leave, but one look from Taeil told him to stay put.

“Huang Renjun,” Taeil started, his hands behind his back.

“Yes?”

“What would you do on a daily basis to take care of Mrs. Lee those last five years?”

“Um, well she would rise with the sun, so I would make us breakfast then. I would make sure she took her arthritis pills and vitamins when she ate, and then I would help her bathe. I would then help her dry off and get ready for the day. Whatever she needed help with, like making meals or cleaning, or moving things I would do for her while she directed me. Then I would make her doctor’s phone calls and document the information they relayed to me. Usually I would then make us dinner and she would go to bed after that.”

Renjun prattled off, the routine he had followed daily for nearly five years still heavily ingrained in his memory. Reciting the list felt calming, as if he was counting panels or blinds like he did when he was anxious.

The vulnerable hole in his heart began to close at the proud look Taeil shot him.

“Your honor, does that sound like someone who is incapable of correctly judging someone’s current mental state? Sounds like a very responsible person to me, mental illness or not.”

Renjun saw Judge Kwon’s eyebrows rise marginally. It was the first time she looked interested in anything that had been said so far, the smallest crack in her façade, but she was still impossible to read. The look could have easily gone either way, that she softly agreed or harshly disagreed.

Either way, Renjun had begun shaking again, but thankfully Judge Kwon had dismissed him from the witness stand whenever Taeil was done questioning him.

They were instructed to take a short break of ten minutes before reconvening, which is when Renjun would probably give his own statement.

At this point it felt like whatever happened with his statement would never be nearly as intense or horrible as what he had just gone through. Plus, he had seen what it was like behind the stand now, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

A horrible, panic inducing blessing in disguise.

His whole body was trembling as he felt solid arms wrap around him, bringing Renjun close with kisses being pressed into his hair. Renjun brought his arms up to circle the other’s waist who he then realized was Jeno. Not exactly sure how he had gotten back down from the stand and over to where he was, Renjun willed himself to relax in his boyfriend’s arms.

“You did so, so well, love. Did you see the judge’s face? She believes you,” Jeno whispered encouragingly in his ear, continuing to press soft kisses on the top of his head.

“So, so proud. I can’t believe how brave you are, baby,” Jaemin softly spoke from behind him, rubbing circles into his shoulders.

“Yeah seriously, Injun. You looked badass,” Donghyuck’s statement had Renjun letting out a watery chuckle. When he had begun to cry, he was unsure, but he was pretty proud of himself when it came down to it.

It had been horribly frightening, but the rush of having done it and survived without having an attack was just as powerful as the fear.

“Yes, Renjun. You didn’t say anything that would be to our detriment. I’m sorry I didn’t better prepare you for this possibility,” he heard Taeil’s ashamed tone and immediately pried himself from Jeno’s chest to look at the older.

“It’s fine, Taeil hyung. Please don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“No, it’s not fine. It was my job. The only thing I can promise you now is to make sure the rest of this trial goes perfectly for you and for us. I believe it’s in our favor.”

Renjun nodded, leaning back onto Jeno, relaxing in his arms. As Jaemin’s fingers began to card through his hair, a soft purr bubbled up in his chest.

“You’re doing great, too, Nono,” Renjun could hear the smile in Jaemin’s voice as Jeno chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest against the hybrid.

“Thank you, Nana. But, I haven’t done much of anything besides a few statements in the beginning. Taeil hyung and Renjun are the stars here.” Renjun rolled his eyes, backing up slightly.

“No, you’re doing great, too. Jaem is right,” he smiled at his boyfriend tenderly, before turning and shooting the same grin to his other boyfriend.

“Okay, whenever you guys are done being disgustingly adorable, Injun, will you come get snacks with me?”

Renjun hesitated for a few moments debating if he wanted to leave the room, but decided that he was already accomplishing such huge things today, a little trip to the vending machine would be nothing. He nodded and trotted off behind his friend while Jeno and Jaemin held hands and spoke softly to one another. The sight made Renjun’s heart clench with love.

“How were you feeling up there?” Donghyuck asked once they were out in the hallway, Renjun latched onto his arm for stability and comfort.

“It was really scary, Hyuck. I almost had a breakdown. I was really so close,” his voice drifted off, a grimace on his face.

“But, you didn’t.” Renjun nodded resolutely.

“But, I didn’t.”

The machines were near the entrance, but not too close to the doors that Renjun felt horribly unsafe. While Donghyuck and Renjun were arguing over what to do with his friend’s money, the doors flung open and a couple hurried through them, not sparing a single glance their way.

“Well, someone’s in a hurry,” Hyuck murmured, his eyes following them down the hallway while Renjun quickly leaned forwards and typed in the numbers to get the pack of cookies he had been eyeing. “Renjun, what the fuck!”

Cackling, his chest felt the lightest it had in days due to his friends fun, whining presence. He owed so much of his success to Donghyuck, and this small moment was a great example of just that.

  
  


Popping the small cookies into their mouths, crumbs dusting their nice attire, they began their walk back to the courtroom. Every step Renjun took, his chest felt more and more constricted. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the sensation.

They stopped just outside of the courtroom, almost the whole hallway was cleared, but Renjun spotted Jeno and Jaemin hand in hand speaking to two other people. Quickly smiling, he began to rush over to the two before he was able to take in the situation.

“So you’re really still ruining your life this way? Just be a decent son for once and hand the will over. You’re not going to do anything with your grandma’s belongings anyways.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, ma’am. We absolutely are,” Jaemin countered as Jeno’s eyes were glued to his shoes, his mouth set in a hard line.

Renjun slowed down, and Donghyuck bumped softly into his back when he halted. Tilting his head, the hybrid moved his ears forward so he could hear better.

“Like what?” The woman scoffed, “That stupid hybrid, right? Of course not only are you filled with sin, you also want to have one of those abnormal abominations around your house. You’re really something, aren’t you?”

Scowling, Renjun took a few steps to breach the gap and stand next to Jaemin, his eyes squinting.

“I don’t have the time to explain to you, especially since you don’t even deserve the amount of time you’ve already gotten with Jeno. But, I’m not something to have. I’m a person, and your son is a million times kinder than you. If it’s sin you’re worried about, good luck getting into Heaven with that shitty attitude, lady,” Renjun spit out at her.

He had taken the guess that this was Jeno’s mother and father, but he knew he was right when her eyes widened slightly as he called Jeno her son. The man next to her began to grimace, eyes casting a death glare to Renjun who refused to back down, simply glaring right back.

“The trial is starting once more. Jeno, Renjun, Jaemin?” Taeil’s voice softly called from the open doors that led to the courtroom.

“Have fun watching this ‘abnormal abomination’ wipe the floor with your sorry-excuse-for-a-family’s ass in court.”

Renjun grabbed Jeno’s hand and tugged him inside, not missing the array of shocked and surprised faces on everyone near him. It was one thing to harp on him and insult him, but it was another thing to try and degrade someone he loved.

Adrenaline was pumping through Renjun’s veins and he wanted to start the trial again right away. He wanted to get up onto that stand and speak from his heart of hearts, the anger at Jeno’s parents and family for putting him through something like this fueling him.

With a fire set under his ass, Renjun knew they would win. He could feel it in his bones.

It only took a couple of minutes for everything to get started once more. It was Jeno’s uncle’s turn to speak and answer a few questions that Judge Kwon proposed to him. He was very composed and every answer he gave rang true. Renjun could almost feel the atmosphere in the room change.

But, naturally, when it was Jeno’s turn right after, it seemed to switch to their favor instead. The prosecutor even called Jeno up to the stand to ask him a few questions. This much they had expected, so when Jeno gave the prosecution absolutely nothing to work with, his smile grew tenfold.

Glancing quickly over to the other side of the room, Renjun spotted Jeno’s parents frowning so horribly that he could practically feel them gaining wrinkles.

“If you’re done, we’ll hear from the defendant now-“

“Actually, your honor. I have something I would like to bring to the bench.”

“You may approach,” the lawyer grabbed a few documents and walked up to Judge Kwon, who took the papers, running a skeptical eye over them.

“This is proof that the deceased had reached out to her family merely a day before she changed her will. Which was approximately two months before she passed. What you’ll see there are telephone records and the copy of the letter she had sent to her daughter-in-law, Mrs. Lee.”

_Jeno’s mother?_

Taeil shot his eyes to Jeno, whose head had turned to spot his mother in the crowd. Her face was trying to hide a smug expression from taking over, attempting and failing to appear unaffected.

“The phone call consisted of Mrs. Lee speaking to her daughter about how she wanted to give everything to her. And yet, days later, she had her will changed to give everything to the defendant when he previously had only been made to receive a small amount of her properties.

“I would like to call Mrs. Jinyeun Lee to the stand.”

Renjun ran through all the phone calls Mrs. Lee had made in the few months before her death. Considering she rarely made them, it was hard for Renjun to come up with a time where he heard her speak of her will.

Something felt strange, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Jeno’s mother stood and went the same way Renjun had earlier, taking her place behind the witness stand. Both the prosecutor and Jeno’s mother shared a small smile before she sat down.

His stomach turning, Renjun reached over and gripped hard onto Jaemin’s hand, Donghyuck came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jeno’s mother swore in on the bible, and took her seat, ready to be questioned.

“Could you please state your relation to the deceased?”

“She was my mother-in-law.”

“And could you please inform the court what the phone call consisted of?” She nodded, shifting in the chair slightly.

“My mother called me, which was strange because we actually hadn’t spoken in quite some time. Since she had been getting sicker, she brought up the matter of her will and how she intended to transfer it all to our side of the family. To the Lee’s. So, me, my husband, his brother, and my sister-in-law. She stated this explicitly, I know for a fact.”

The judge made the same facial expression as earlier, if you could even call it that. Just a slight inclination of her eyebrows.

“As you can see in the letter, she also stated her intentions. But, imagine our surprise when a couple months later we get to the reading of the will and she has left everything to my son. My son who we don’t even consider part of our family anymore.”

It was a low blow, and she knew exactly what she was doing. Renjun could see Jeno’s shoulders slump from behind, and Renjun’s blood began to rush through his ears. Leaning forward, he whispered to get Taeil’s attention while she continued to talk.

“Taeil hyung, call me to the stand before I make my statement,” he turned, shooting a confused look to Renjun.

“Why?”

“Ask me about Mrs. Lee’s family, okay? Just trust me.”

Taeil nodded, still slightly perplexed, but quickly turned back around to listen to everything that was being discussed. More haughty words were exchanged between the two while they looked far too complacent for the current situation.

Soon, the prosecutor was done, and Renjun could feel that if he didn’t say something convincing, there was no way he would be leaving with Jeno and Jaemin today.

“I’d like to call Huang Renjun back to the stand,” Taeil spoke out evenly, and this time Renjun stood up on his own, the adrenaline still spiking throughout his body.

He was aware that his own credibility was lower than Jeno’s mother’s, but Jeno’s was higher than hers. And he planned to take advantage of that.

“Huang Renjun, can you tell the court what you had known about Mrs. Lee’s family prior to her passing?”

“Yes. She never spoke of them once. She had carried an air about her as if they didn’t exist; that, like me, she was alone in the world. That we only had each other.”

“And do you think that she would have mentioned it to you if she was reaching back out to her children?”

“Yes. We always talked to one another about even the smallest things about our days because they were always so simple. When I first met Jeno and Jaemin, I didn’t even know who they were and I could tell it hurt Jeno severely. His partner, Jaemin, even commented on the fact.”

“Is this true?” Judge Kwon asked, her eyes now on Jeno.

“Yes, your honor.”

“You may proceed,” she directed the statement to Renjun, who she was looking at very closely.

“The relationship between Mrs. Lee and her family has been stunted since they disowned Lee Jeno. So, I believe that the letter in question is actually referring to her decision to move her assets to Jeno. That this isn’t out of the blue at all. When I was alone in the house for almost two weeks after she had passed, I was found by Mr. and Mrs. Lee,” he gestured to Jeno’s uncle and his aunt who was sitting closely behind him.

“Jeno’s aunt had stated that Mrs. Lee ‘never even spoke’ to the two of them, so how could it have been that Mrs. Lee had reached out to change the will in their favor merely two months before? I heard her say this after she had passed away, too. So, if this were the case, then why would Jeno’s aunt state as such? That Mrs. Lee never contacted them?”

A hush drifted over the court. Judge Kwon was looking seriously at Renjun, her eyes hard and focused. It was so quiet that Renjun could hear the anger radiating off of the prosecutor.

“There is proof here of a phone call, though. It seems like this might come down to your word versus theirs,” Judge Boa spoke, voice steady. Renjun nodded, he knew this. He knew he had less credibility, but Taeil saying that she ruled fairly kept echoing through his mind.

“Is this true, Mr. Lee? Did your wife make these statements?” The judge turned to face the prosecution, her hands folded together. He blinked, taken aback for a bit, before he floundered.

“I-I mean, I’m not quite sure, your honor. It was some time ago and I’m not confident if I remember it clearly.”

“May I remind you that you swore an oath of truthfulness, Mr. Lee?” She tilted her head, apparently not convinced by what she saw in his eyes.

“Yes, of course, your honor. If I try very hard to remember... then that might have been the case? That those words had been said?” His lawyer sent him a quick glare, and Jeno’s uncle winced at the harsh stare. It was as if they didn’t even care to give away their lies now.

Although, Renjun wasn’t completely sure if they were lies; it just hadn’t felt right when he heard them say as such. Something had been off, and he was pretty sure he had pinned it down perfectly.

Judge Kwon turned to the prosecutor, “Do you have the original copy of this letter?”

“Yes, your honor,” he spoke, voice slightly strained, as he went to grab the letter, enclosed in a plastic bag that he slowly walked up to her with. Taeil had taken his seat back beside Jeno, and the air was so tense you could cut it with a knife as she put on a glove to remove the letter from its protective layer.

She glazed over the document, comparing it to the copy they had presented to her earlier. For a while, it seemed as if nothing was out of place at all until she raised the letter and looked up through the bottom, letting the light cast its way through the paper.

“Ah.” Her voice simply stated before she put the letter back into its bag and removed her glove. Renjun could see the beads of sweat running down the sides of the prosecutor’s face as she shifted and snapped her eyes swiftly to his own. “Do you know what the punishment for spoliation is?”

“Yes, of course, your honor. It’s a class G felony,” his swallowed harshly as he continued to stand.

“Yes, you’re correct. The letter looks the same as the copy for-” he almost sighed before she continued, “-for the most part. There are a couple of spots that look rather suspicious to me, and they’re whenever the name ‘Lee’ is mentioned. A coincidence? I truly do not believe so.”

She shuffled her papers into a neat pile, looking down the bridge of her nose at the prosecutor who had only begun to perspire even harder. Renjun looked up, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, as he looked at the mirrored expressions of the persecutor’s own face on Jeno’s family as well.

“I will have this sent off to prove if it has been tampered with or not,” she hammered her gavel down on the desk and looked over to Taeil. “Any closing statements?”

The lawyer had his mouth slightly agape, stunned into silence at the sight of what all had just transpired. Next to him, Jeno was in a similar state of bewilderedness while Renjun met Donghyuck’s eyes who were simply shaking his head, a smug and proud look on his face.

Renjun couldn’t hold the smirk back from his face when he heard the gavel ring out once more. His breath was coming in shallowly, and he could barely hear the judge above his own heartbeat.

“The will stands. I do not approve of the contest. Court adjourned,” she called sharply.

Emotions rushed through Renjun’s head as he began to shake. It wasn’t anxiety that was affecting him; he was just so simply overwhelmed at the sudden change of events. 

They had won? He had helped them win? Renjun hadn’t even given his witness statement, the thing he had labored over for forever. All he had to do was speak up and voice out what he had observed and seen. She had immediately believed him and checked the evidence for herself.

And he felt… powerful?

Yes.

Renjun felt powerful.

He was pretty sure he was beaming as he stepped down from the witness stand, catching a soft smile from the judge as she exited the court with the bailiff. Mind swirling, Renjun was so completely immersed in the moment, he didn’t even know his loved ones were around him until he was lifted into the air.

Yelping, Renjun closed his eyes tightly, while Jaemin proceeded to spin him dizzy.

“What the fuck, Renjun, that was so hot! You did it! Baby, you did it!” Kisses rained down on his cheeks as soon as his feet touched the ground once more.

“Renjun, I am speechless,” Taeil’s steady voice came from somewhere behind him.

“Bad fucking ass, I’m telling you! My best friend just kicked some asshole’s ass in court!” Normally shouting a plethora of swear words in the middle of a public place would be taboo, but the people around Donghyuck simply egged him on.

“You’re amazing Renjun. How did you even think of that?” Jeno came into his line of sight, his eyes crinkled, half moons shining brightly over the deep ocean that was Renjun’s heart.

“Something felt off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something felt off and I just knew that I could disprove it. And then, it came to me.” Jeno’s smile only widened as he leaned down to kiss Renjun openly.

He was sure there were eyes on him, but Renjun couldn’t care less. All he cared about was this moment. Where he was.

An intense weight had been lifted from Renjun’s shoulders, and he felt as if he walked easier now.

Breathed easier, laughed easier, loved easier.

Renjun had helped Jeno and Jaemin this time. They had saved him before, taking him in and giving him his first whole family.

But this time, Renjun had saved himself.

After years of suppressed doubt and fear, after years of trying to understand why the smallest things broke him, hurt his soul, Renjun had now rescued himself. He was strong and he proved that to his own heart today as well.

He hadn’t gotten prompted by Taeil, this wasn’t something he had discussed with Jeno or Jaemin, and it wasn’t because Donghyuck had pushed him to actually do so.

Renjun had done it on his own.

He rescued himself from his own darkness and from the looming fear of being whisked away. He was no longer weak; he felt strong and capable.

Somewhere in the world there was a beautiful crescent moon illuminating deep waters that rushed over the sand in waves, the sound of them cresting music to one’s ears.

Somewhere else, there were beautiful green rolling fields covered so fully in cotton candy clouds, that it was almost all you could see; your heart unable to contain its happiness at the sight.

But, somewhere else, there was a lush forest. Its trees were tall and guarded, from the outside it looked like a fortress. Redwoods blocking the way from anyone who dared to enter, locking all of its wonders inside from anyone unworthy.

Inside the forest, however, was a small group of other’s that the woods had deemed worthy.

Others that had been allowed to enter the forest and see its beauty that almost no one had ever seen before. It was full of rushing waterfalls, lush foliage, and chattering animals that scampered about.

The one’s worthy of the forest had been taking care of it, slowly bringing it back from the brink of death to its original glory. Now it was abundant with life, completely thriving and flourishing.

Now, the forest had created a small path, though still a bit overgrown, for others to enter through. It may still be slightly difficult for just anyone to delve into its exuberant life, but the trail had been cleared.

And that had been the emergence of Renjun’s healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so close to the end, it actually hurts. I'm not 100% certain of this, but I believe after this chapter there will only be one more and then the epilogue. It's kind of crazy that it's finally coming to a close. Wow. 
> 
> If you're here and reading this, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. What started out as a two chaptered small draft on my laptop that sat idly for months, became this monster of a fic. I hope that if you've enjoyed this, you would consider sticking around for my other works I plan on doing in the future. I'm writing a prince au renmin and then have a college au renmin planned for after that. 
> 
> Really, you're all so special and lovely for even reading one sentence I have put out here onto the interwebs lol. Please all of you stay healthy and happy! I'll see you soon. <3
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on writing only one more chapter, but had to end up splitting it into two. This chapter alone is over 11k words and so with the extra part it would have felt way too long. 
> 
> So, the next chapter will be the last and then there will be an epilogue. That's also why this has taken me so long to post because I was stalling and I truly just don't want it to end quite yet  
> (っ- ‸ – ς)

It felt surreal to go back home with Jeno and Jaemin while knowing in his heart that he was going to be able to be with them for forever now. There was nothing but his own fear standing between them, but even then Renjun knew he could do it.

If what he had just accomplished at court was anything to go by, he was positive he could get through everything else.

When they left the courthouse, Jeno’s mother had tried to speak to him, but as soon as Renjun popped up between them, she backed off right away. He could feel the scared gazes that burrowed into the back of his head from his boyfriend’s family, and he was damn proud of it, too.

He went from being a scared hybrid hiding under his owner’s bed, to completely conquering his fears and being present and helpful right when he needed to be.

Renjun was the cause of his own freedom. 

He had been the one to say just the right thing that led to his liberation from worry and solidified him in pure bliss.

When they arrived back at their apartment complex, Renjun was still riding on his high, overzealous with the way things had turned out. As the car stopped, he unbuckled his seatbelt, put his hand on the car door handle, and pushed.

Realizing this was actually the first time he had ever opened a car door, a bright smile appeared on Renjun’s face before he stepped out into the parking garage. He took several steps before he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. It felt absolutely liberating.

He probably shouldn’t push it, but adrenaline was still pulsating through his veins, spurring him forwards.

“Renjun! Wait!” Jaemin called for him, giggling at the sight of the skipping hybrid.

Renjun frolicked around their car while Jaemin and Jeno simply stood, leaning against one another, with their mouths open in wonder. Jeno was slightly shaking his head in bewilderment, but Jaemin couldn’t hold himself back from laughing boisterously.

“You sure are something else, Huang Renjun,” Jeno said lovingly. The hybrid stopped in place before turning a full 360 **°** and eyeing his boyfriends playfully.

“Hell yeah, I am! I’m the something else that just won the whole case!”

Yes, there was no way they could have done it without Taeil, Jeno, Jaemin, or anyone else involved, but Renjun wanted to gloat a bit. And, his boyfriends were very eager to let him do so.

Marching with his head held high and either of his hands held by his boyfriends, Renjun didn’t stop smiling for a single moment. Even when the elevator was so crowded he was squished against the railing inside, he still beamed at Jaemin and Jeno respectively. They made sure to always smile back at him while simultaneously shooting one another disbelieving but happy looks.

It wasn’t long until the elevator dinged signaling their arrival. Renjun darted out, skipping a bit down the hallway, before turning back to face the others, his tail high and swishing in the air.

“Can we do something fun tonight? I want to do something fun. We deserve it,” Renjun spoke with confidence, knowing that his boyfriends would listen to him and give in easily.

This surge of self-assuredness was foreign to Renjun. It felt as if the whole world was at his fingertips; that he just needed to reach out and taste it.

“Like what, Junnie?” Jeno chuckled as Jaemin fished out the keys to the apartment, opening it.

“Uh,” honestly, he hadn’t thought that far, and now he was drawing a blank. Taking in his stalled state, Jaemin picked up the smaller, making him squeal before barreling inside the apartment with him.

“You’re just too damn cute! You were just standing there, tail in the air, mouth all open and pouting!”

“Put me down you- you- ...you weirdo!” Jaemin snorted at the insult, catapulting them both onto the downstairs living room couch.

“Oh no, not a ‘weirdo,’ I’m so hurt,” he lamented facetiously, receiving an angry pout in return from Renjun. Which, of course, only made Jaemin coo and fuss over him once more. 

Jeno stood just in front of them, arms crossed and head shaking in wonder at the sight of the two wrestling. It was nice to see them go at it once more, all stress and worry of the case finally off of their shoulders.

“I love you two, so much,” Jeno suddenly confessed, his features soft and his gaze warm. Renjun poked his way out of the headlock Jaemin currently had on him to stare at the other in wonder.

“I love you both, too,” Renjun said softly. Jaemin turned the lock into a hug and pulled Renjun’s body against his own, snuggling into the hair on top of his head.

“Love you, too. My babies,” Jaemin whispered, kissing the crown of Renjun’s head before turning his sparkling eyes upon Jeno.

They stood that way in silence for a bit. Renjun had finally relaxed into Jaemin’s arms, head pillowed on his chest while he stared at Jeno just drinking the sight of him in, when he was finally hit with an idea.

He shifted himself to sit atop Jaemin’s waist, eyes immediately changing from soft to passionate. This was something he had been craving for awhile now, and it would be the perfect way to celebrate.

Leaning down, he caught Jaemin’s lips in a slow yet deep kiss. They moved against one another leisurely as Jaemin’s hands came up and settled possessively in the small of his back on either side of his tail and just short of his ass.

Jeno cleared his throat and the other two parted, the smallest of strings of saliva still connecting them before breaking when Renjun licked his lips.

“Is this how you want to celebrate, Junnie?” Jeno practically purred which sent shivers up the hybrid's spine.

He knew it wouldn’t take much for the two to catch on, but he wanted something different from last time. Shifting nervously on Jaemin’s lap, Renjun nodded as a flush spread up the sides of his neck.

“Yes,” he breathed out, encouraged by the smirk from Jaemin who was beneath him. As Jeno went to make a move towards the two of them, he stuttered and spit his next words out. “But, like, different this time!”

His voice came out just shy of a yell and caused both of his boyfriends to startle. They shot him looks like they had done something wrong, Jaemin going so far as to begin to move from the spot under Renjun. Shaking his head, the smaller fumbled for words, suddenly extremely nervous.

“What do you mean, Junnie?” Jeno asked his tone soft and supportive. Both of their eyes latched onto Renjun’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed, his heartbeat already racing.

“I want to, uh, do what Jaemin did last time?” He quickly closed his eyes, stiffening his whole body unprepared for what their reaction might be.

“What? Get your dick sucked?” Jeno joked, some mirth returning to his expression. He very well could have been teasing Renjun, wanting to make him say it out loud, but Jaemin saved him.

“Does our Injunnie want to get fucked this time?” Jaemin tilted his head, a loving but scheming look on his face that Renjun had begun to associate with the other being aroused. Renjun had a theory that since he had spent these years under Jeno in bed, that now he was releasing all of his pent up dominant, sexual energy on him.

But, he wasn’t complaining.

Well, for the most part.

Face hot, Renjun simply nodded which made both of them smile in return before Jaemin rubbed at his sides affectionately. Sitting up, Jaemin playfully pulled on Renjun’s tie, his face going forward to kiss the other once more, quickly filling the hybrid’s mouth with his tongue.

When Renjun had begun to be turned into a panting writhing mess, Jeno came over and grabbed either of his hands, helping him stand up and get off of Jaemin and the couch.

“Okay, Junnie. Come with us, okay? We promise to make you feel good.” And, Renjun believed him. He knew that the two would do everything in their power to make this good for him.

For the past few weeks Renjun had been asking Donghyuck more in depth questions about being on the receiving end when it came to sex. Naturally, his friend had plenty of things to say and even more ‘advice’ to give. There actually were a few things that sounded like fun that Renjun would absolutely be up to trying.

Taking Jeno’s hand, he followed his boyfriend up the stairs and to their room. He knew that Jeno could probably feel his heartbeat and pulse rushing just from holding his hand, but the other didn’t make a comment on it.

Opening the door, Jeno stepped aside to hold it for Renjun before Jaemin grabbed him from behind, arms around the smaller’s waist and lifted him up beginning to waddle forward to their bed, Renjun in the air.

“P-Put me down!”

“No way,” Jaemin giggled.

When they had made it to the bed, Jaemin turned so that his back was facing the bed and fell backwards with Renjun still in his grasp, knocking the wind out of them both.

“Dumbass,” Renjun wheezed as Jeno cackled from the door.

“Hey, watch it,” Jaemin warned but the smaller simply rolled his eyes unimpressed.

Turning him over in a matter of only a few seconds, Renjun was then pinned underneath Jaemin, his hands around the hybrid’s wrists holding them to the bed. He leaned down and kissed Renjun greedily for a much too short amount of time if he had anything to say about it, before Jaemin grabbed his tiny waist and pulled him the rest of the way up and into the center of the bed.

Free from his boyfriend’s grasp, Renjun leaned up onto his elbows, looking down at the other as he prepared to ask him where they should start. But, apparently, Jaemin had other plans.

He shucked Renjun’s fancy pants and boxer-briefs off in one go, leaving him naked from the waist down and gasping. His hands came up to cover himself immediately as he blushed at the brashness of Jaemin who was still simply wearing the same smug and predator-like expression from earlier.

“I told you to watch it,” Jaemin simply stated before grabbing and pulling Renjun’s hands away from his almost completely hard length.

_Of course, I’m hard from the smallest bit of foreplay. That would happen to me._

When his arms were no longer blocking Jaemin’s view, his boyfriend reached underneath Renjun’s knees and pushed them towards his chest making the hybrid squeak at the suddenness of it all. There was movement and a bounce that came from the bed behind Renjun’s head that he assumed was Jeno finally joining them.

However, Jaemin was still pushing his legs back further, only exposing the smaller even more before diving down with a wicked grin and proceeding to lick Renjun’s rim greedily. Groaning, the smaller threw his head back which let him make eye contact with Jeno whose eyes were dark and trained on Renjun’s face.

As Jaemin began to circle his tongue around the tight ring, softly prodding at him but not quite pushing in, only trying to warm the muscle up, Renjun reached his arms back behind himself towards Jeno, his hands making slight grabbing motions. He wanted the other closer and maybe even his cock in his mouth.

“Nono,” Renjun gasped as he felt Jaemin’s thumbs on either side of his rim, stretching and prying at him to get him loose, Jeno simply tilted his head watching the smaller’s face screw up in pleasure.

“Yes, baby?”

“Can, ah- wanna suck your d-dick... please?” Renjun asked, his mouth hanging open at the feeling of Jaemin basically making out with his asshole.

Jeno’s eyes grew wide, surprise replacing the want briefly at the shock of Renjun being so forward. He was nervous for a moment that he had said something wrong, but when Jeno let out a soft curse and scooted closer unzipping his pants, he was glad he spoke up.

Both of his boyfriends were still fully clothed, while Renjun’s bottom half was stark naked. Jeno began to undo the hybrid’s tie and throw it somewhere behind them before popping the buttons on Renjun’s shirt open all the way down to his waist, and pulling it apart to expose his torso.

The shirt only hung around Renjun’s arms now as the rest of him was bare, and all he could do was blink prettily up at Jeno as Jaemin fucked his tongue into him. Jeno was able to get a full look of the sweet way Renjun’s chest became a soft pink that was only a few shades lighter than his nipples.

Jaemin finally worked his tongue all the way inside of Renjun, making him yelp and try and squirm away at the intense feeling. Thankfully, Jaemin was pushing down on his legs and Jeno had reached to his hips in time to hold him still. He still tried to squirm on Jaemin’s tongue, unintentionally fucking himself harder on the wet muscle.

“Ah!” Renjun’s face screwed up in pleasure, eyes closing and mouth opened.

“Do you still want to suck me off, baby?” Jeno asked playfully, although there was a clear tone of wariness in his voice, not wanting to overwhelm Renjun. Eyebrows furrowed at the wet feeling of Jaemin licking inside of him, he nodded his head, albeit strained, at Jeno letting him know that he still wanted it.

Unbuttoning his pants, Jeno scooted closer to Renjun’s face on the bed, the smaller’s head still relaxed back on the comforter staring with big eyes up at his boyfriend. He shuffled his clothes down just far enough to pull his barely hard length out of his pants, still basically completely clothed and came forward to put the tip on Renjun’s lips.

The angle was much more intense than Renjun had imagined it would be. Laid back like this, Jeno would be able to fuck directly down his throat, and his balls were directly above his face as well, the perfect placement for him to show them attention too.

“I want you to go slow, okay? You can accidentally take way too much in this position.”

Renjun simply whined out a yes, his legs beginning to shake as Jaemin grabbed his inner thighs instead, pressing them out and nearly flat against the bed, as his dick came into view instead. He leaned down and began to suckle on one of Renjun’s balls taking it very gently into his mouth before pulling off, laving over it with his tongue and then licking a thick stripe up his shaft.

A breath shuddered from his mouth as Renjun leaned down to intertwine his fingers into Jaemin’s hair and bucked senselessly and messily into the air even though Jaemin didn’t even have him inside of his mouth yet.

Parting his lips, Renjun took the head of Jeno’s now half hard cock and began to suck on it and lick it, focusing there for the time being as he was afraid that with Jaemin going crazy eating him out he might accidentally hurt Jeno. Opening his mouth, he wrapped his lips around a bit more of his length, stretching his neck to get to it and pulled it into his mouth to show it the same attention.

All the while, Jaemin was still only placing teasing licks over Renjun’s arousal that was beginning to become so hard it was painful; it was almost impossible to not reach down and shove Jaemin off so that he could just jerk himself to completion right then and there.

Turning his head to the side, Renjun began to move his head back and forth to bob up and down on the tip of Jeno, pressing his lips firmly together to create a tighter pressure. When he earned a soft ‘fuck’ from his boyfriend, he figured he was doing a good job.

Jaemin suddenly pressed a soft kiss on the slit of Renjun’s cock, his precum coating the other’s lips before he quickly fucked his own face all the way down the smaller’s entire length. When his nose was pressed against Renjun’s pubic bone, Jaemin began to use his erection to fuck his own throat.

It all happened so quickly that thankfully Renjun gasped and didn’t clamp down. Jeno’s cock was still sitting inside his mouth against his tongue and lips, halfway inside while the hybrid panted at the unexpected deep throating from Jaemin.

After barely more than a few seconds, Jaemin popped off and rubbed a hand across his mouth to get the coating of his saliva off of his chin. He quickly scrambled off the bed to somewhere that Renjun couldn’t see, but that didn’t matter as he quickly became preoccupied.

His legs relaxed normally against the bed while Jeno grasped his chin gently pulling on it with his thumb to open his mouth farther. With his knees on either side of Renjun’s head, his boyfriend began to very, _very_ slowly sink his length deeper to the smaller’s mouth.

Renjun tried to look up, but was unable to see anything other than Jeno’s perineum, so he closed his eyes and focused on his breathing and began to relax. He wanted to be good for Jeno, and he could already tell just how much deeper it felt in this position, so he needed to stay calm lest he choke.

“You good, love?” Jeno panted out, “Tap my thigh once if you’re good, twice if not,” Renjun quickly brought his hands up to grab at the other’s thighs and tap one of them once before pulling Jeno slightly closer making him edge further down his throat.

Gasping Jeno reached out to run one of his hands across Renjun’s exposed chest, pinching either of his nipples in turn making him arch slightly, which in turn only made his cock slink deeper down his throat.

“Love,” Jeno gasped, “Don’t hurt yourself. Don’t take too much.” Renjun reached up and patted his thigh once more trying to say that he was fine, but Jeno continued to just stay there unmoving.

Growing impatient, he used his grip on Jeno to very softly push his hips forward before he pulled back slightly and repeated the action, shallowly fucking his mouth onto Jeno. When he hissed out at the stimulation, Jeno asked once more if Renjun was fine and when he tapped his thigh once again, the other began to really move.

Jeno spread his own thighs, placing a hand down on the bed next to Renjun’s torso leaning over the smaller so that he was positioned to fuck directly into his throat.

Which is exactly what he did.

Pulling out, Jeno guided his hips forward slowly, sheathing himself far into Renjun’s throat. He had to focus on breathing in and out to take him this way. The feeling of something this large in his throat was sending signals to his brain to pull off immediately, but instead Renjun swallowed and earned a low grunt from Jeno who began to pick his pace up.

Clinging to Jeno’s thighs for dear life, he finally began to truly fuck his throat in long strokes, groaning at each slow thrust. Renjun would occasionally swallow when too much saliva would begin to accumulate in his mouth which always made his boyfriend shudder and grunt even louder.

“Fuck, Jaem, what did you teach our little Injunnie,” Jeno gulped.

“Not that, that’s for damn sure,” he heard Jaemin’s entranced voice call out before the bed dipped. “Look, Nono. Do you see it?”

Renjun felt a gentle finger trail its way from his chin down over his Adam’s apple where he felt Jeno the most, before going down to his collarbones.

“Oh my fucking-“ Jeno broke off on a shaky breath followed by harsher thrusts which in turn made Renjun cling to him tighter.

“Injunnie, since you can’t see, let me explain, hm?” Jaemin's voice came out soothingly while his fingers continued to drift lazily over the column of his throat. “Our Nono is so big, your little throat is bulging right here,” his fingers lingered slightly above the halfway point of his neck.

Renjun gasped to the best of his ability, his whole body shaking at the idea of Jeno being so big that he was stretched out.

“Does our baby like that?” Jaemin asked, and Renjun quickly tapped once against Jeno.

“Fuck, he says yes.” Jeno responded to a humming Jaemin.

Each time Jeno thrusted forward, a wet noise echoed throughout the room and Renjun could tell his throat was going to be absolutely fucked for a while. He would probably have to carry around a whiteboard to write on in order to say what he wanted to.

A soft pop came from somewhere next to where Renjun had begun to press his thighs together, craving the touch. But, when light fingers feathered their way across the tops of his legs, he was so caught off guard, his head jolted forward, sinking Jeno completely into Renjun’s throat which made him swallow and choke, his muscles convulsing around Jeno’s length making the larger moan deeply.

Jeno held his cock there only a few seconds longer, reveling in the tight contraction of Renjun’s throat around him, but slowly inched his way back out of the hybrid’s throat and mouth to let him cough and sputter.

His lips were huge and swollen, and he was unable to open his eyes all of the way, far too fucked out already. Jeno reached down and tenderly caressed Renjun’s face, ghosting his fingers across his soft skin trying to comfort him while he caught his breath.

All of a sudden, Renjun’s thighs were being spread. He whipped his head up quickly to see Jaemin’s hand glistening, and before he could even comprehend the situation, his fingers were pressed against his rim, one of them slowly inching its way inside his body.

A gargled moan tore its way through Renjun’s wrecked throat, as Jaemin immediately sunk his ring finger all the way inside of him, past the second knuckle. At the small uncomfortable and intruding sensation, Renjun suddenly thought that maybe they should have done this on his heat instead. He would be much more pliable and being wet would have been a great help.

Jaemin began to twist his finger slowly while he pulled out and pushed in, slowly loosening his hole. Jeno continued to shower Renjun with considerate and knowing touches, as if he already knew that it was feeling strange and not at all like the last time Jeno had fingered him.

After several moments, Jaemin inched his finger out before squirting more lube in his hand and bringing it up to his rim, simply rubbing around the muscle which felt familiar and good. It felt like a not quite as nice version of being eaten out by Jaemin. 

He helped Renjun to be prepared and to relax a bit more by simply circling and wetting his hole. Stopping, Jaemin brought two of his fingers together to sit right in the center of the tight muscle.

Jeno’s hands came off of his face as he leaned over Renjun’s body to stroke across the expanse of his chest and prod at his nipples to distract him. When he gasped at the feeling of Jeno tugging on both of his nipples at the same time, Jaemin eased his fingers just past the muscle.

He had snuck them in when Renjun’s head was thrown back in pleasure, but now he was clenching harshly on his two fingers that really began to sting even though they were just past the muscle.

As he began to whimper, Jaemin joined Jeno in softly petting over his skin to calm and relax the smaller. All of the pain seemed to mostly be just around his rim and its unwillingness to want to be stretched. But, after a handful of seconds, Jaemin applied more force, his hand coming up to grab Renjun’s cock by the base, making it twitch.

When he began to slowly stroke the hybrid, for some reason the fingers glided much easier up into his ass as he now felt the stretch deep underneath where his cock was settled, filling him. And when Jaemin began to pump them in and out in time with the glide of his hand on Renjun’s arousal, he couldn’t help but to whine again.

Except this time, the whines were of pleasure, punctuated with small puffs of gasps that tore out of him at the double stimulation.

“How does it feel, Junnie?” Jeno asked from above him, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead while still rubbing his hands over his torso.

“G-Good. Inten-nse—“ Renjun was cut off as a sharp wail was fingered out of him when Jaemin hit his prostate finally, and he quickly began to pant and toss back and forth at the stimulation.

Picking up his speed, Jaemin continued to jerk him off but quickly slipped his two fingers out to put a third in right by them. He felt the sting across his hole and the ache of the fingers being pushed in so quickly, but Jaemin went straight back to his prostate, massaging it in small circles.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, Nana!” Renjun whimpered, his bottom lip trembling at the stimulation.

He had become a bit wary around bottoming, but once he remembered just how nice it felt to have his prostate hit, he was reinvigorated with excitement. Jaemin switched over to thrusting his fingers instead of just letting them grind into Renjun over and over.

On every thrust up, Jaemin made sure to pass over that one spot, quickly reducing whatever small part of Renjun that had been lucid to a blubbering mess from his hands alone.

Once his whimpering had turned into soft sobbing and moaning, Jeno shifted around Renjun to join Jaemin only to grab his wrist where he was pistoning inside of the smaller with his fingers.

“Want us to move you into a more comfortable position, love?” Jeno called softly to the mewling hybrid.

Unable to do more than nod, he let his boyfriends shift him up farther onto the bed before Jaemin sat up against their headboard and grabbed the lube from the end of the bed. Shifting himself up onto his hands, Renjun looked over at the others who were sharing a look hesitantly.

“What?” Renjun breathed out, his length still dripping against his stomach.

“Well, we talked about it and we want to make this the best we can so it’s your choice in the end, but we thought that maybe it might be better if you started with Jaemin because he’s not quite as…” Jeno trailed off, moving his hands in a vague gesture which made Jaemin roll his eyes.

“He means because I’m not as big as him,” he joked which immediately helped to lessen the heavy atmosphere. Renjun giggled nervously as he began to fidget with his hands uncomfortably.

It made sense to start with Jaemin, and it also lessened the weight he had felt about what they would do when it came to this moment. He didn’t know how to go about it all, so he was thankful that his boyfriends were taking the lead.

“Okay,” Renjun swallowed, anxiousness bleeding into his tone which Jeno and Jaemin caught onto right away.

“What is it, Injunnie,” Jaemin’s voice bled with concern as he scooted closer grabbing the smaller’s hands and placing soft kisses to the backs of his hands.

“You know we won’t do anything if you don’t want to, love.” Renjun began shaking his head no.

“I want it, I want it so bad,” his voice cracked with need, making the other two’s eyes darken. “Just nervous.”

“Don’t worry. We’ve got you, babe,” Jaemin soothed, shifting back against the pillows and headboard once more as Jeno took the lube out of Jaemin’s hand.

“Why don’t you come this way, Junnie?” Jeno calmly asked while an edge of arousal was still slightly detectable in his voice.

Renjun, with shaky hands, began crawling over to them before sitting back on his ankles next to his still fully clothed boyfriends. Jaemin reached gentle hands over and slowly eased Renjun the rest of the way out of his button down that was still hanging off of his petite frame.

At the same time, Jeno began to remove Jaemin’s pants before working the other’s top off as well. Renjun let his fingers dip through the plains of Jaemin’s muscled abdomen and trail down to the bulge in his boxers.

When Jeno had finished stripping Jaemin’s top half, Renjun began to palm over his hardness before leaning down to press kisses against the thin material, making Jaemin groan in wonder.

“D-Don’t tease,” Jaemin stuttered, making Renjun smirk lightly, feeling a bit in power.

Renjun used his thumbs to hook into the elastic band of his underwear, shimmying it down his legs while Jaemin shifted and moved in order to help. Staring down at Jaemin’s cock, Renjun let out a shaky sigh.

The fact that he was smaller than Jeno honestly just scared him even more, because Jaemin was still big. Much bigger than himself, that’s for sure.

“So, uh, how…?” Renjun shot his worried gaze between the two, begging them to show him what to do next.

“Here,” Jeno instructed, grasping Renjun’s waist and shuffling him to straddle Jaemin’s naked thighs. Their lengths rubbed together briefly, making them both suck in a deep breath at the lewd sight.

“It’ll be best for you to ride me first, so you can control the pace you want to go and won’t have to worry about me taking it too fast,” Jaemin explained, and Renjun nodded in response.

Shifting his thighs backwards slightly, he looked to Jeno behind him to the right, where he heard the tell tale sign of the lube being opened once more. He watched the way the other poured some out onto his fingers before leaning over and wrapping his fist tightly around Jaemin.

Gasping, Jaemin bucked up jostling Renjun on his lap slightly at the sudden relief he was experiencing. Jeno simply sped his movements up, stroking him harshly while he leant over to lick Jaemin’s lips before kissing him deeply.

Jaemin was hardly able to kiss him back, simply panting and opening his mouth for the other to claim. Renjun felt himself growing hotter at the sight directly in front of him. Looking down to where Jeno quickly jacked Jaemin off made his own length twitch in anticipation.

After a few more moments, Jeno turned his head and kissed Renjun just as deeply, only with less fervor and more patience. He could feel from the way Jaemin’s hips moved that Jeno’s hand was still wrapped around his cock while they were kissing, and the realization of just how intimate everything was and how intertwined the three of them were in this moment made him begin to whimper with want.

“Please can I- I mean, can we please?” Renjun breathed against Jeno’s smiling lips, his eyes still closed.

“Of course, love,” Jeno spoke onto Renjun’s lips before placing a chaste peck and backing away from his face to settle on his knees.

“Let me stretch you just a bit more, baby,” Jaemin’s chest was rising and falling rapidly after Jeno had finally relieved him mildly, and now he stared at Renjun with hunger.

The end of his tail began to twitch and flick in nervous anticipation as Jaemin held his hand out to Jeno who quickly poured the lube into his hand. With his clean hand, Jaemin pulled Renjun back forward on his lap directly over his length, as he began to reach around and play with the hybrid’s hole.

His legs began to tremble in expectation as Jaemin slowly eased two of his fingers back inside Renjun. The stretch wasn’t too bad as he was still wet and loosened up from earlier. Jaemin quickly moved to three fingers, and Renjun had to steady himself on the other’s shoulders as he stayed solely just inside of his rim.

Jaemin’s fingers couldn’t have been past his first knuckle as he slowly pressed them in and out, making sure the muscle was warm for him. Renjun knew that he was doing it to make sure he was okay, but without the stimulation of his prostate and nothing giving his length any attention, all he could feel was the raw stretch.

Yes, it was better than earlier, but it still wasn’t comfortable and Renjun couldn’t hold still. Jaemin’s eyes bore into his own, his boyfriend’s lips parted slightly while he listened raptly to Renjun’s soft whimpers while squirming on his lap and in his hold.

Jeno brought his hand up to run through Renjun’s hair soothingly while Jaemin continued to flick his wrist, making sure the smaller was coated with lube and stretched enough that it wouldn’t hurt.

After a few more moments, Jaemin finally retracted his fingers and stuck his hand back out towards Jeno who once again filled his hands with lube; this time though there was much more. Jeno must have seen Renjun’s surprised face at the small pool of lube in Jaemin’s hand because he chuckled and explained, mumbling into his right ear.

“It’s always better to have too much than not enough. And besides, since it’s your first time bottoming, it will only make things easier. Promise.”

Renjun nodded and watched Jaemin coat his own cock with the lubricant; it was so wet it almost glinted in the bedroom lights. Taking the rest of the lube left on his hand, he reached back around once more to Renjun’s rim and spread it there, and collecting a bit of it from between his cheeks Jaemin used his two fingers to fuck back into him deeply, making the hybrid choke on his breath.

“Okay, ready?” Jaemin whispered once he was done with his ministrations. Nodding, Renjun let his boyfriend knock his legs open so that he was spread directly over Jaemin’s hard length that was pointing straight up to his ass.

He knew he was completely pink and flushed and that his chest was just shy of heaving, but he also knew that he was ready. So, when they checked in with him one more time and Renjun confirmed that he wanted this beyond a shadow of a doubt, Jaemin held his length straight up for Renjun’s taking.

Lowering his body, Renjun wrapped his hand around Jaemin’s own that was holding his arousal, positioning it to brush against his rim. He shuddered at the feeling of something so big against him there, the whole experience feeling foreign.

“Go at your own pace, baby,” Jaemin spoke lowly while Jeno began to run his hands all over Renjun’s body to soothe him.

Nodding, he began to push down slightly onto Jaemin, testing to see just how much pressure he would need for him to finally press inside. At the first bit of force, nothing happened but Renjun gasping at the intense prodding of Jaemin’s cock. It didn’t slip in as he continued to sit down, frustrated and shaky with the painful experience of his length against him so harshly trying to pry him open.

“Relax, Junnie,” Jeno whispered in his ear over his right shoulder before snaking his hands around his waist to softly grasp Renjun’s own small, now slightly less hard cock in both of his hands, enveloping the whole thing.

Renjun’s eyelids fluttered closed as Jeno continued to stroke him roughly, completely covering him with his wet hands that gave him something to fuck into. Distracted, Renjun pushed back down harder, his muscles not as tense and Jaemin’s head finally began to breach him.

The hybrid yelped in surprise and at the sudden sting around his rim while Jaemin cursed, throwing his head back.

“Fuck, Injunnie. You’re so goddamn tight. Go slowly, baby.”

Gasping, trying to catch his breath, Jeno continued to massage his length trying to keep the hybrid aroused and calm. He tried to sink down a bit further onto Jaemin, figuring that if he got past the initial stretch it would feel much better, but with the added force and the copious amounts of lube, much more of Jaemin slipped inside of him then he meant to take.

“Nana,” Renjun whimpered at the sharp and intruding feeling of being split open in a way he never had before.

The entire head of Jaemin’s cock had passed through his clenching muscle, and Renjun leaned his head forward to bury into Jaemin’s neck, whining out soft ‘nana’s while he sat still on his length waiting for the pain to subside.

Jeno and Jaemin both ran their hands over Renjun’s much smaller body, petting his flattened ears, rubbing circles into his hips, pressing gentle kisses across his neck and shoulders while he continued to hide.

He wasn’t sure just exactly how long it took for the feeling to become more bearable, but it might have been due to the fact that Jaemin had softened slightly, not as full or stretching him as much as before.

But, that was exactly what Renjun needed to feel like he could take more.

Breathing out, his lips pursed in a circle, Renjun finally straightened his back once more, leaning into Jeno’s affectionate pets. Bumping his head against the other’s large hand.

“Okay. I’m gonna try again.”

“Take your time Injunnie,” Jaemin worried his lip as he stared with big, fretful eyes at his boyfriend.

Nodding, Renjun shifted slightly to get back into a better position, gasping as the hardness inside of him moved slightly, and it felt good, like Jaemin’s fingers. Just much fuller, much wider, and much, _much_ deeper.

Spreading his thighs, Renjun let himself wiggle downwards onto Jaemin, lowering his ass at the same time. He only took a bit more of the length, but Jaemin was starting to inhale shakily. Looking up to see his reaction, Renjun took in the blissed out state of Jaemin whose eyes were locked onto where he was disappearing inside the hybrid.

Renjun really liked that he was making him feel good, so he continued to sink down onto the other’s cock, handling the continued stretch decently well.

He would whine or gasp at certain feelings as he continued to slink down, wondering if it would ever stop. The feeling was so foreign he could feel Jaemin inside of him opening and stretching him as he impaled the smaller.

Jaemin’s grip turned harsher and harsher when Renjun let his forehead fall onto Jaemin’s shoulder, letting his arms wrap loosely around his neck as he took the rest. Tired of moving so slowly, he simply took a deep breath and exhaled onto his boyfriend’s neck at the same time, he let his ass fall down to settle in his lap, fully sheathed on his length.

They both groaned at the same time, though for different reasons.

Jeno might be bigger than Jaemin girth wise, but he hadn’t forgotten that Jaemin was longer. In fact, it was quite impossible to forget as he felt the other buried so far inside of him that it felt like his stomach muscles were being stretched.

He hadn’t completely bottomed out yet, Renjun’s rim still stretched inwards, not quite taking the very bottom of his length in quite yet. Pressing his hands down and onto the bed after unwrapping them from Jaemin, Renjun rocked forward in order to rise on the other’s cock before pushing back just as shallowly, not daring to move too much right away.

“There you go, Renjun. How do you feel?” Jaemin rasped out.

“I-It’s big-“ he gasped, cutting himself off as he lifted his hips higher to sink down once more. “But, it’s not bad.... Doesn’t h-hurt as much.” Jaemin nodded in understanding while Jeno peppered kisses across the side of his neck.

“Don’t worry, Junnie. As soon as you’re comfortable, Jaem will make it feel really good for you. Won’t you, Nana?” Renjun felt Jaemin dig his fingers into the soft part of his sides causing him to gasp.

“Absolutely. Don’t you want that baby? Want me to make you feel good?”

Renjun nodded his head rapidly as his slow movements turned to something more like soft bounces. He was only moving a couple of inches either way, keeping the leanest part of the other's shaft where his rim was. But, the feeling of Jaemin being inside of him and sliding in and out was enough to dampen the ever present sting.

Using his hold on Renjun’s hips, the next short bounce he did, Jaemin pushed the hybrid all the way down into his lap making him finally bottom out and letting his cock sink fully inside of him. His thighs shook slightly for a couple of seconds at the intrusion while he choked on the air, startled by the sensation of being filled completely

Once he had gotten his wits about himself, he noticed he was becoming more used to the feeling. Renjun let himself now bounce at a steady pace on the very bottom of his length, right at the base. His eyebrows were pulled down in focus as he used his hands as leverage to lift himself and drop back down.

Suddenly, Jaemin lifted his hips to meet him with a gentle thrust the next time Renjun had begun to sink down, a sharp jolt of electricity vibrated throughout his body. The entire thing was overwhelming to say the least, but that one movement had felt the best so far.

“Again please,” Renjun requested with hooded eyes and swollen parted lips.

And how could Jaemin deny his request when he looked like that?

So, when Renjun lifted himself back up, Jaemin would bring his hips to meet in the middle creating an obscene slapping wet sound. It wasn’t very loud, but Renjun knew that if he let Jaemin really have his way, the noises would ring through the entire room.

Taking his lips off of the hybrid's neck, Jeno let his hands rest above Jaemin’s on either side of Renjun's ribs and held him there, not letting him sink back down, so that it was only Jaemin who was moving now.

Renjun's hands moved to Jeno’s grip on his sides, grasping tightly as Jeno used his strength to hold the wiggling hybrid in place for Jaemin to continue to thrust up into.

“J-Jeno,” Renjun breathed out, the feeling of much more of Jaemin’s length being pushed into him now resounding through every part of his body. The tug of his already sore rim was nothing compared to the lewd stretch inside of him, and the constant feeling of being filled by the other.

Jaemin looked over Renjun’s shoulder, seemingly at Jeno before he smirked, and Renjun had only half a second to process that something was about to happen.

Jeno tightened his hands further on Renjun’s small body as Jaemin shifted to lie almost completely down on the bed, wiggling his hips into a different position. Just at the slightly different angle alone, Renjun was already panting harshly as he was prodded in the different direction, stretching more of him.

“Ready baby?” Jaemin asked wickedly, making him gulp in anticipation.

“Ready,” he sighed, already entranced by the new position. It must have been close to his prostate, because it felt much better than the other way they had been doing it.

All at once, Jaemin’s grip that was low on his hips began to dig into him as Jeno hoisted him slightly higher up on his knees, making him feel as if Jaemin might slip out of him at any moment. But, they didn’t let him. Instead, Jaemin snapped his hips up much faster than they had been moving before.

Renjun couldn’t help the tiny yell that jolted past his lips at the feeling of the tops of Jaemin’s thighs hitting the inner part of his own. Giving the smaller a moment to breath, Jaemin then repeated the action thrusting upwards harder.

Heading lolling back onto Jeno’s left shoulder, Renjun began to pant and Jaemin took that as a good sign and began to keep a solid rhythm of driving upwards into him again and again.

He had been right because the fast and harder Jaemin went, the louder the wet slaps got, and it seemed to only spur the other on further.

Every upstroke of Jaemin’s cock inside of his body made him release sharp but short moans. Jaemin wasn’t hitting his prostate directly, but he was close enough and fucking him hard enough to feel his length rub slightly against it. And that was more than enough.

In fact, it was perfect.

Renjun leaned his head forward and let it drop to try and see where their bodies were connecting, but at the same time Jeno handed the hybrid off to Jaemin who slid his hands upwards and pressed their chests together. One of Jaemin's hands came around to Renjun's back bringing him close while the other steadied its grip on his side.

Sitting in his lap, Jaemin’s strokes stilled making Renjun whine in disappointment which only served to make his boyfriends giggle.

“One second, baby. So impatient,” he tsked with a loving smile on his face.

Jaemin lifted his feet up to press solidly against the bed, bending his knees. The angle that he was inside Renjun shifted again and--

“ _Fuck!”_

He had actually screamed the curse as Jaemin began to rapidly fuck directly up into his prostate. Each time he impaled him on his cock, Renjun was being hit directly straight on where he wanted it most.

Renjun had lied. _This_ was perfect.

Every time Jaemin pushed against that mind numbing spot, Renjun couldn’t stop himself from clenching when he pulled out, only to thrust up again once more. He knew that the clenching probably felt good, made him tighter, but he hadn’t even been doing it on purpose.

“Jaeminnie,” Renjun whimpered, eyes growing wet and lip pouting as he really picked up his pace, showing the hybrid that he had been going easy on him.

“Shit, baby. You feel amazing holy shit. So tight, hm? So tight just for us. Just for Jeno and me,” Jaemin babbled, lifting his hips and pounding into the smaller whose body was close to giving out from pleasure.

“Whose are you?” Jeno whispered suddenly in Renjun’s ear making him moan, having missed his other boyfriend’s voice.

“Y-yours.”

“Whose?” Jeno repeated, his tone much lower.

“Jeno and Ja-Jaemin’s,” Renjun whined and arched his back as he continued to get pummeled deeply which only served to make the pressure on his prostate even more intense.

“That’s right, love.” Jeno kissed the side of his head while Renjun’s legs began to shake violently at the stimulation.

Mewling every time Jaemin’s balls slapped against Renjun’s ass, he began to squirm harshly making Jaemin bring his hands down to dig into his thighs. Jeno could see that they were both close, so he reached between their bodies and gripped Renjun’s length harshly at the base making the hybrid keen loudly, tossing his head back and clenching intensely on Jaemin’s cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Jaemin repeated like a mantra before he quickly lifted Renjun all the way off of his body, making the smaller let out a soft cry as the other came across both of their stomachs, his abdomen muscles tensing and releasing.

“Was so close,” Renjun slurred his words together, only making Jeno chuckle darkly.

“You were great to our Injunnie, my lovely,” Jeno leaned down, releasing Renjun’s arousal to press pecks across Jaemin’s damp and warm face. “Okay come here, Junnie. I’ll go slowly if you need me too, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn’t _extremely_ worked up."

He would probably regret it in the morning, but staring down at Jeno’s hard and leaking, big cock Renjun simply just wanted to get pounded into oblivion. Not completely sure when his other boyfriend had stripped naked, he briskly nodded, his eagerness palpable.

With wobbly legs, Renjun eased himself off of Jaemin’s lap, leaning down to give him a tender kiss, before laying next to him the same way: in the pillows and slightly against the headboard.

Jeno leant across Jaemin’s chest to grab the lube, running his tongue across the fucked out boy’s nipples making him squirm before coming back over to Renjun and drizzling lube across his own cock. He stroked himself a few times, hissing through his teeth at the much needed stimulation. He inched forward, grabbing Renjun’s legs and spreading them as he stared down at his pretty boyfriend who looked up at him on his back.

Renjun’s hole hadn’t closed all the way yet, and he could feel it. Like it was wrong for there to not be something inside of him, stuffing him full. As if that had been his normal state his whole life. Clenching thinking about just that, Jeno shook his head slowly in disbelief before lining himself up.

“Tell me if you need me to do anything.” Nodding, Renjun let his head fall to the side, while his chest rose and fell with unstable breaths.

With one hand lifting Renjun’s left thigh, he used his other hand to press against the already slightly opened hole and pushed in with only a little bit of resistance. The smaller immediately arched upwards in a silent scream, pleasure written across all of his features. Jeno slowly sunk himself forward until he was full inside of him, and damn he could tell that the stretch was bigger. Not so much that it hurt, but he was back to feeling almost uncomfortable, but his want far outweighed the current awkward feeling.

“Please, please, please, please,” Renjun chanted, his eyes shut tight, and who was Jeno to not help his pretty boyfriend?

Jeno pulled out, only the head of his cock still stretching the hybrid open as he shallowly fucked him right there, wanting to stretch his rim further, and Renjun began moaning deeply.

The friction against his rim built up to pleasure and also torture. It felt almost as if something deep in his gut tickled, but it was a harsher and tighter feeling.

It was driving him crazy.

“Please!” Renjun garbled out nonsensically.

Hammering his hips forward, Jeno spilt Renjun in two on his cock, piercing him by fucking in deeply. His pace was relentless as he let his hands slip down to the bottom of Renjun’s ass that was against the bed and splayed his fingers over it, lifting the smaller so that the angle changed.

“Jeno!” Renjun cried, harshly gripping the comforter, as he began to slam into his prostate like Jaemin had, only at an even more rapid pace.

“That’s right, love. Feel free to scream my name,” he continued pounding the smaller into the mattress as he leaned down to capture a nipple into his mouth sucking it harshly.

Renjun’s legs couldn’t stop shaking and neither could his breaths. Especially when Jaemin reached a hand over to tug at his free nipple roughly.

“Jaem- ugh!” Renjun wailed.

“Such a pretty baby,” Jaemin cooed over the drenched sound of Renjun’s ass getting plowed by their boyfriend.

“Such a tight baby, too,” Jeno grunted lowly, grabbing Renjun’s ankles, bringing them together and pressing them towards the smaller's chest while pistoning forward over and over and over again.

All Renjun could process was the feeling of being impaled on Jeno’s cock and the added stimulation of his nipples being tugged and played with. When Jaemin leaned over and wrapped a hand around Renjun’s poor, neglected dripping wet cock, he jolted, tightening around Jeno.

“Oh shit, Jaem. Keep that up,” Jaemin gave a silent nod and kept harshly tugging on Renjun’s length, admiring the amount of precum he had leaked.

“J-Jaem- Nana, I’ll-“

“Go ahead, I’m close too,” Jeno responded, before opening his legs again and holding his thighs while panting. He looked down to Renjun’s completely blissed out expression while sweat dribbled down his temples.

Eyes watering, Renjun clenched once more and released all over himself as the tight coil of muscles broke within his abdomen. Jeno didn’t even pretend to slow down, in fact Renjun was pretty sure he increased his speed while he was cumming. Chasing his own orgasm while the smaller was at his tightest.

“Can I come inside?” Jeno breathed out. At the thought, Renjun’s cock let one more pathetic spurt of come out while he only whined out a yes.

Fucking into him with reckless abandon, Jeno pushed himself over the edge by looking at his two completely satisfied and exhausted boyfriends. Renjun felt the other still inside of him, only slightly bucking his hips up to ride his orgasm out. On one small thrust he hit Renjun’s swollen prostate making him yelp and his muscles tighten causing Jeno to cave in on top of Renjun.

“Fuck.” Jeno murmured into Renjun’s chest.

“Agreed,” Jaemin winked at the barely lucid Renjun who giggled in response.

Jeno pulled out, Renjun wincing, as Jaemin got up to fetch wet towels to help them clean up. While the other two caught their breath, Jaemin also grabbed the spare comforter and the other two helped him change out the dirty and wet one for the clean one.

Cringing at all of their nice clothes crumpled in a mess on the ground, Renjun kissed both of his boyfriends’ foreheads before chuckling.

“Doyoung is going to murder all of us.”

“Of definitely,” Jaemin agreed before pulling Jeno into his arms who Renjun laid on top of.

“Can we nap?” Jeno asked, a yawn breaking its way into the last part of his sentence which made Jaemin and Renjun let out quiet awe’s.

“Definitely, Nono,” Renjun nodded.

“Okay, goodnight,” Jeno mumbled into Renjun’s hair, tickling him and making him giggle.

“Night night,” Jaemin called out softly.

“Night, love you both.”

“Love you, too.”

“Me too.”

  
  


“But you’re so much better than ussssss,” Jaemin whined, holding the paintbrush limply in one hand, next to a canvas that he and Jeno were both working on. They had asked Donghyuck if they could go over, but he and Mark were apparently busy that night, so they stood out on the small bottom balcony back where it all had started.

“That doesn’t matter! It’s just for fun, Nana,” Renjun encouraged the sulking other.

“Do you have any green, Injunnie?” Jeno asked, poking his head from where he had been crouched down behind the canvas. Renjun nodded and reached behind himself in the chair to grab the bottle and hand it over.

Currently, Renjun was working on one of his commissions, but he had dragged Jeno and Jaemin out to paint with him in celebration. He had told the two that whatever they painted together, Renjun would hang on his wall. Which then prompted Jaemin to make a sassy remark about ‘oh, so you mean our wall?’ since Renjun practically lived in their by bedroom now.

But, he knew that neither of them really minded.

In fact, they had already been talking about buying a bigger dresser and turning Renjun’s room back into a guest room. One that the hybrid had free reign over, design wise.

For now it was only the guest room, but soon Renjun knew he’d be able to sink his claws into the interior design of the whole apartment. It wasn’t bad as is, but Doyoung and he may have had a few conversations about a handful of color changes that needed to be made.

Renjun felt paint splatter across his cheeks. Looking up he saw Jaemin looking away with hands behind his back, whistling like he was innocent as could be. Simply rolling his eyes, Renjun re-situated himself and his canvas so that it wouldn’t be ruined by his bored boyfriend.

It was quiet for a while after that with Renjun really diving into his art, not quite noticing the way time passed. This felt like the thing to help them celebrate more. Especially since it hurt Renjun to even so much as sit for, but when he noticed that the sky’s color had deepened slightly he shot his eyes up to check on the other two.

They had their heads pressed together, Jeno with his eyebrows furrowed, as they examined whatever they had been doing. Also, they had been whispering, but when Renjun looked up Jaemin caught his eye and immediately elbowed Jeno to get him to be quiet.

His lips in a small ‘o’, Jeno blinked with wide eyes at Renjun, before sending him a suspicious grin.

“What are you two up to?” Renjun put his materials down and began to stalk over to the other side. Both of his boyfriends immediately reached their arms out blocking the smaller.

“Baby, please! It’s a surprise,” Jaemin whined.

“Yeah, Junnie. Please? We don’t want it spoiled,” Jeno pouted deeply, making Renjun swallow at the sight. It wasn’t often that Jeno would pout, but they all knew he had the best puppy dog eyes among the three (even if Jaemin would continuously insist that that wasn’t the case).

“Okay, but,” Renjun squinted his eyes, before pulling his hands up and pointing two of his fingers at his eyes and then back at the other two, “I’m watching you.”

He huffed and turned back to his painting. He was almost done anyways, and it had been awhile since Renjun completed a commission. They could be left alone for now.

But Renjun would find out what was going on.

They painted and hung out for the rest of the time the sun was in the sky, chattering softly after Jeno had gone inside and brought out the mobile speaker, playing music softly.

Renjun couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so at peace. Everything truly felt like it was falling in place; any time that Renjun might have thought that before wasn’t correct.

This was it. This was his happy ending.

After Renjun had completed his painting and dug out his phone to order them some food, Jeno and Jaemin asked what stuff they needed to use to finish their painting.

“Oh! You guys are done? Let me see-“

“No!” They both yelled in unison, Jeno looking worried and Jaemin looking comically stern.

“Jeez, okay,” Renjun muttered, but couldn’t contain the small smirk on his lips. He wondered just what exactly the two had painted for him, and the butterflies in his stomach raged with in excitement.

After explaining thoroughly and demonstrating on his own painting out what and how to use the resin finish, Renjun handed it over and let Jeno take the reins in finishing their artwork, whatever it may be.

Going back inside, Renjun headed to ‘his room’ and propped up the painting he had finished to dry before going back outside to see if the other two were done.

The painting was gone and so was Jaemin while Jeno had begun to put up Renjun’s materials. He had his hands full of paint, and there was the softest smudge of green across the collar of his white shirt.

It was endearing.

“Where’s Jaemin and your painting? Leaving it to dry?” Jeno turned to him smiling and nodding.

“Yup! We’ll eat dinner while it dries, and then Nana and I want to surprise you.” Renjun giggled eagerly.

“Sounds good to me.”

Renjun couldn’t hold still the entire time they ate the pork buns they had ordered. For the nostalgia of it all, they had made sure to get them from the same place that Renjun had accidently ordered the whole menu of the first time.

He was pretty sure he saw Jaemin tearing up when they recalled said memories, but when Renjun had singled him out he had said it was just because of how good they tasted. Letting him get away with the horrible excuse, Renjun was feeling strangely sentimental himself.

“Why do I have to keep my eyes closed? You guys are freaking me out,” Renjun playfully complained as he sat on his boyfriends’ bed, eyes squeezed shut.

“You’ll see!”

“Yeah, you did the same thing to us when you surprised us with your paintings, so it’s only fair,” Jaemin huffed snootily, making Jeno and Renjun giggle in tandem at their boyfriend’s attitude.

“Okay, okay. Fine, just hurry up.”

“Someone’s impatient,” Renjun heard Jeno’s voice come from right next to his ear, making him jump and reach his arm out to try and hit the other but missing.

A soft kiss was pressed on Renjun’s cheek making him blush prettily and turn his head towards the direction from which it came. Puckering his lips slightly, he asked for a kiss that was promptly given to him by Jeno. He could feel the other’s smile against his lips making Renjun smile gently in turn.

“As a wise and talented painter once said... ‘we were nervous because we really put our hearts into it, and now that we know you care for us the way we care for you,’” Jaemin whispered, Renjun swallowing nervously as he was brought back to the time he had shown the two his paintings he had done for them.

“Open your eyes.”

He cracked both of his eyes open, peering from between partially opened eyelids at the sight before him.

It took Renjun a few moments to understand just what exactly he was looking at. Jaemin and Jeno stood side by side in front of him, holding the finished canvas that must have been the one they painted earlier.

The lines were unpolished, but there was raw beauty there. And, maybe Renjun was biased, but he thought they showed unharnessed talent in art.

In the painting, there were tall messy trees blending together, while vibrant greens mixed over their tops. Beneath them on the forest floor you could see bountiful foliage with a plethora of colors dotted throughout that Renjun supposed were supposed to be flowers.

The sky above the trees was somewhere between day and night, one half being lit up by the moon while the other had beautiful slightly pink clouds brushing against the leaves of the tallest trees.

Cocking his head to the side, Renjun tried to take a mental step back and truly observe the painting. It really was rather pretty, but he just wasn’t exactly sure what made it so special.

While pondering what it could mean and turning idea after idea over in his head, his eyes caught on the wall to his left where his two paintings were perched.

And then it hit him.

He snapped his head back to the painting, mouth gaping as he inhaled a shaky breath. Renjun’s eyesight quickly became clouded with unshed tears as he processed just exactly what the two had made for him.

The smallest sob breaking free from his chest, Renjun pressed his lips tightly together and reached shaking hands out to them in order to look at the picture closer. Jaemin handed the painting over, his own eyes just as watery as Renjun’s while Jeno wrapped the pink haired boy into his arms and rocked them back and forth.

Up close, the painting was even more endearing.

Renjun had tried to hold back the shuddering breaths that were making their way through his chest but was very unsuccessful. How he hadn’t seen the meaning straight away, Renjun didn’t know.

He was the forest.

Both the pink sky and moon were a part of his tale though.

The forest was gorgeous, tall, and healthy on its own, but with the help of the moon, part of it shined brighter. And, with the pretty clouds, parts of the trees and flowers were highlighted and made even more beautiful.

It was exactly how Renjun had felt about everything when it came to them three. Sure, he was his own person and strong and capable on his own, but he would be a fool to think that Jeno and Jaemin didn’t bring out the best in him.

And, Renjun liked to think he did the same for them, too.

Sniffing loudly he handed the painting back to Jeno whose eyes were shiny; Renjun noticed that Jaemin was quietly crying now, tears trickling down his pretty face. That’s when he couldn’t hold it back and a choked off breath that was more like weeping fell out of his mouth.

Before he could even blink, Renjun was wrapped in two pairs of arms that held him tightly. He felt soft presses of wetness against his shoulder and cheek, but it was the last thing Renjun cared about right at that moment.

“You’re a part of our stroy, Junnie. You know?” Jeno’s voice came roughly out of his mouth and he felt Jaemin nod against his neck. With his eyes clenched shut, Renjun let the sobs roll out of him in waves.

How had he ever become so lucky?

“You’re a part of mine, too,” Renjun choked out, feeling the shoulder that Jaemin was leaning against grow even wetter.

They simply embraced one another, cuddling closely. Shifting around, the three of them now sat on the bed and just held one another, taking everything in. How their time together had started and where they had ended up now. In love and content.

Renjun was employed, running his own small business. Jeno got closure with his family. And, Jaemin had been the joyful firecracker that really pushed Renjun to come out of his shell, and the happy virus that both Jeno and Renjun had caught.

“D-Do you want to hang it up on your wall, Injunnie?” Jaemin whispered between stuttering breaths. Renjun shook his head no, leaning back away from the two and wiping his eyes roughly with the back of his hand.

“I want to hang it up by yours over there,” Renjun smiled, albeit wobbly from the intensity of which he had been crying.

“Good. It’s where you belong anyways. With us,” Jeno murmured, running his hand through the smaller’s hair.

Nodding, Renjun had to agree.

Maybe in the beginning he had struggled with seeing himself in between Jeno and Jaemin, feeling as if he was intruding in their relationship. But, it was the three of them.

Not Jeno and Jaemin plus Renjun.

It was all three.

And it was never the same without all of them together; something always felt like it was missing.

So, Renjun stood up on slightly wobbly legs and walked over to the wall where the other two paintings were hung and held it up trying to see just exactly where he wanted to place it while Jeno left to get the hammer and nails to put it into its place.

When he got back, Renjun pointed right to the middle of the paintings if only slightly below in order to arrange them into a small upside triangle. Jaemin nodded in approval before Jeno put the nail in the wall and stepped back to allow Renjun to put it where he wanted.

Hanging it on the wall with the other paintings felt so right.

Moving backwards to stand in between the other two, they looked up at their adorned wall. Jeno stood in front of the moon and sea painting, Renjun in front of the forest, and Jaemin in front of the clouds.

Renjun could tell that this was when his life was really about to begin. Where things would really start to take off for him as he became his own person. His own person that had two other people he knew would always be there for him to fall back onto if need be.

“You know, Renjun,” Jaemin started, a mischievous tone to his voice. “Instead of staying inside the apartment, maybe you could just stay inside…our hearts.” He paused before the end of his sentence, wiggling his eyebrows at the incredulous looks on the other two’s faces. Renjun scoffed out a laugh while Jeno basically spit onto the back of the smaller’s next as he laughed abruptly.

“Ah, Nono. Gross!”

“Sorry, Junnie,” he apologized, beginning to laugh uncontrollably.

Leave it to Jaemin to ruin an emotional and tender moment. But, it wouldn’t be the same without it.

As they all began to devolve into laughter, Jeno swooped down and picked up Renjun by his waist, hauling him over his shoulder and tossing him down onto the bed. The air left the hybrid’s lungs in a rush before Jaemin jumped onto Jeno’s back clinging and making both of them tumble forward onto Renjun.

“Oof!” Renjun grunted, his ears full of the two people he loved the most’s laughter. His stomach was beginning to hurt, half from the pressure of their combined weight and half from all of the laughing. 

After he wiggled away and dodged Jaemin’s tackle directed towards him, he felt his phone begin to ring. Using it as an excuse he quickly rolled off the bed, thumping hard onto the ground, knocking the wind out of himself.

“Hello?” Renjun wheezed.

When he was quiet for a while, both Jeno and Jaemin crawled to the side of the bed and peeked over the edge to see who Renjun was talking to. He had a huge smile on his face and began to laugh heartily.

“Alright. Bet.” Renjun hung up with a flourish before rolling over onto his back and sighing contentedly.

“Who was that?” Jeno asked.

“ _What_ was that?” Jaemin raised. Rolling his eyes at Jaemin’s jealous tone, Renjun sat up to face his boyfriends with a face splitting grin.

“It was Donghyuck. He invited me to go to karaoke with him this weekend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ≧Д≦)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're here. How I made it to this place is all because of you guys, truly. There's no way that without all of your comments and sweet compliments I would have been able to finish this. And in less than two months at that. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for making it this far with me. I hope you enjoyed Stay Inside My Heart.

_Seven Months Later_

Renjun was rubbing slow circles into the palm of his left hand with his thumb as he slowly counted his breathing. Looking to his right, he saw the scenery fly by them as the car sped through the outside of the city.

He couldn’t believe he was finally going to get to see her.

A soothing hand reached across the console and armrests to gently hold Renjun’s leg that had begun to bounce up and down incessantly. Turning his head, he looked to Jaemin who quickly shot him a wink before turning back to face the road. It had the desired effect as Renjun rolled his eyes and let out a sound somewhere between a scoff and laugh.

“Junnie, here you go,” Jeno spoke softly, leaning forward from the backseat to hand the hybrid the bouquet of soft pink peonies he had picked out from the flower store that morning.

“Thank you,” Renjun whispered, his hand shaking only slightly as he took the flowers from his boyfriend before turning back to face the front.

The nervous tremble of his leg refused to stop as he wiped his right and clammy hand against his jeans. Switching the bouquet over to his other hand, he wiped his left as well, hating the way they felt when they were damp.

With the way he was acting, you would think that Renjun didn’t want to do this, but that was far from the case. He had been the one to bring it up to Joohyun and she was very supportive about the idea. In fact, she thought it to be crucial for him to fully heal.

Yes, Renjun could go outside to some places now. Specifically places that he had seen several times from the car already and knew exactly what the layout looked like. He also made sure to never pick any of the busy hours when he visited said places.

At first Donghyuck had whined about not being able to go out at midnight to karaoke and drink himself into a singing mess, but Renjun reminded him of something important that existed!

Day drinking.

That had solved their problem right away.

Jaemin took the next left onto a narrow road, as the smooth pavement turned into more of a bumpy gravel below the tires. Renjun had hated this part when he had ridden along in the car with his boyfriends to scope the place out so that he could be prepared. It jostled him in his seat uncomfortably, and he had to cling to the armrest with his right hand and clench his jaw.

Thankfully, the stretch of road was quite short and evened out as soon as you turned into the parking lot. However, Renjun’s heart began to pick up speed when the ride smoothed out because it meant they were already there.

It was finally time.

Exhaling shakily, Renjun closed his eyes and ran through his breathing exercises. Naturally, it still was a terrifying situation, to go outside at a new place, but considering where they were and what they were about to do only added fuel to the fire, making it that much worse.

He had even scheduled an extra appointment with Joohyun early that morning before lunch.

Stepping into her office, Renjun had waved slightly to Yeri, the receptionist, before he padded down the hallway to Joohyun’s office. Jeno had waddled behind him, carrying a rather large painting that she had commissioned from him. It was a beautiful nature scene inspired by a picture from when she had spent some time in the mountains with her new girlfriend.

Renjun had actually met Seulgi several weeks prior, and he couldn’t help but to be ecstatic at the bright smile that he had seen on Dr. Bae’s face the first time he saw them together.

It became funny though when he and Seulgi got to talking and found out that she had actually worked with Mark before and they were under sister labels.

Since then, Renjun often contacted and had lunch with Seulgi. Joohyun scolded him saying that it made their therapist/client relationship unprofessional, but he simply rolled his eyes.

“I call you mom and you found me passed out in the street. I think we passed that a long time ago... Mom.” Joohyun sighed while Seulgi laughed brightly next to her before bringing her into a hug.

“You know he’s right, Hyunnie,” she giggled at her girlfriend who simply shook her head.

A small smile broke out across his lips at the memories, trying to harvest the way he felt during those moments to calm his slowly building anxiety.

When Jaemin pulled the SUV into a small parking space, Renjun was able to keep himself calm and level headed. Even when the clank of his boyfriends’ seatbelts unbuckling sounded inside of the car, Renjun’s breath stayed even.

He could do this.

That was the mantra he found worked the best for him these days. He could do this and _he had_ done this. Not specifically what he would be doing today, but Renjun had accomplished many other feats similar to this one. He’d done many things and he was constantly proving to himself that he was capable of much more than he had ever thought before. 

So, when he let himself push the car door open, holding tightly to his flowers and his shoes landed on the pavement, he brought his head up to look around. It was just as he knew it would be. A tall gate surrounded the parking lot lined with luscious trees and a small deep grey building was centered in it all.

Jeno came up next to Renjun, taking his hand and bringing it up to his mouth to press a knowing kiss there before running his thumb tenderly over the tops of the smaller’s knuckles. Jaemin turned back around and sent them both a tentative smile as they began to walk through the small parking lot to the portion of the fence that had an open gate. It parted to reveal a small walkway that winded past a thin conglomerate of trees. Different species intermingled, just like the people in the field that the path led to were.

It was easy to see through the tree line, but when they passed into the rather large rolling field of dark green, lush grass, Renjun still sucked in a deep breath through his teeth and grabbed onto Jeno’s hand even tighter.

They followed the walkway that split off and led through different areas of plots of land. Passing stone after stone, Renjun took in all the different shapes and sizes. Each one must have had an amazing story, and he wondered if how polished or crumbled the stones were reflected on the quality of life that person had been through.

“Lim… and Lee,” Jaemin mumbled coming to a stop in front of a quaint but pretty looking tombstone.

“Lee,” Renjun breathed out, letting his eyes run over the small section that belonged to the woman who raised him.

Walking forward, Renjun placed the peonies in one of the small vases that sat on either side of the grave for visitors to use. The shape of the headstone was rounded and the surface of it was polished beautifully, but the stone was definitely one of the cheaper ones.

Renjun smirked thinking about how Mrs. Lee probably would have thought the fancy script was overkill and that something simpler would have suited her tastes better. She was always a very uncomplicated woman; too bad that wasn’t something Renjun had picked up from her.

Chuckling at his own small joke, Renjun took a step back shoving his hands deep in his pockets. It had been just over a year since she passed away, and he felt a guilt-like sense at just now being able to visit her resting place.

He tried to appear calm and collected, but Renjun couldn’t stop the way his ears were pressed flush against the top of his head, or the way his tail was low against his legs, almost curling between them trying to hide.

Sighing, Renjun sat down on the small bit of concrete before the grave and pulled his legs up against his chest to wrap his arms around his knees. Tilting his head, the hybrid let his cheek press against the material of his jeans.

“Is it okay if I spend a bit of alone time with her?” Renjun asked, his voice floating, just loud enough for the other two to hear.

“Of course, Injunnie.”

“We’ll just be right over there on the bench if you need us.” Turning his head, Renjun spotted the stone bench several meters away that Jeno pointed at. Nodding, he watched his boyfriends walk away to sit, their hands clasped together.

Directing his gaze back to the stone, staring at her name, Renjun wiggled his toes awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. He cleared his throat before sighing and looking down at a few blades of grass that had grown long around the edges of the tombstone.

“Hello, Mrs. Lee. I miss you, but I’m doing really well, so that’s good,” Renjun swallowed his feelings down, not wanting to cry. “I’m with your grandson now. With Jeno and Jaemin. He’s the boy you met that night Jeno’s crappy mom threw him out.

“His eyes are just like yours. That’s actually why I decided to trust him in the first place... Jeno also has your kind spirit; you’d be really proud of him if you could see him now.” Shifting forward on his butt a little, a small smile broke across his face, “Also, we’re all boyfriends. So, technically, I could have been your real grandchild.” A huge grin stretched across his face at the thought of calling Mrs. Lee grandma instead.

“Can I call you Grandma, then? I wonder if you would have liked or hated that,” a soft breeze tickled across the back of his neck and ruffled his hair as he tried to grasp for the words he wanted to say.

“I had to come outside to see you. I hope you’re not mad. I doubt you would be, because I know that you only did it to keep me safe from the world. Thank you for caring for m-me,” Renjun cleared his throat when his voice cracked at the end of his sentence.

“This is probably kind of lame, but for your birthday that day I had painted a portrait of you and I felt like I needed to tell you. You look beautiful in it,” burying his face in between his knees, Renjun let out a shaky breath. “I had also prepared one of your favorite songs to sing to you before we ate the cake I made. Hopefully, you’ll still enjoy it.”

Shifting and straightening his back, Renjun crossed his legs and let his hands rest in his lap. Taking a deep breath he ran over the lyrics that he had rememorized for this moment. He hummed softly making sure his vocal chords were warm before he opened his mouth to sing.

_There are many things one should not love_

_So this is why I become sadder_

_But the saddest part_

_is that you do not love me_

_I didn’t ask you to stay with me_

_But there is no reason for you to leave_

_So I will silently love you_

_Even if my tears show in my sadness_

_Yesterday’s love is today’s goodbye_

_You were crying through a smile_

_But the reason why I cry so sadly_

_is because longing will find me tomorrow_

_I didn’t ask you to stay with me_

_But there is no reason for you to leave_

_So I will silently love you_

_Even if my tears show in my sadness_

_Yesterday’s love is today’s goodbye_

_You were crying through a smile_

_But the reason why I cry so sadly_

_is because longing will find me tomorrow_

_Yesterday’s love is today’s goodbye_

_You were crying through a smile_

_But the reason why I cry so sadly_

_is because longing will find me tomorrow_

As he held the final note out longer than needed, Renjun realized he was crying.

The sun had come out from behind the clouds while he had lost himself in the song. The trees were rustled by the wind, while sounds of the leaves added their crinkling noise to the music of the day. It was a beautiful afternoon, perfect for Renjun to find acceptance within himself and let his regret melt away.

Timid fingers found their way to his shoulders before hands followed, and a body leant down pulling him backwards into a hug.

“That was beautiful, Renjun. She would have loved it,” Jeno spoke into his neck as he held him close.

Silent tears streamed down his face, but truly he felt at peace about it. Something inside of his chest felt released, felt lighter. It was tragic to say goodbye to someone who had been with you and took care of you for so long, but clinging to the past was even more painful.

“She really would have, baby,” Jaemin agreed from behind them, to which Renjun simply nodded.

Standing up, he took Jaemin’s hand that then pulled him into his embrace, rubbing small circles into Renjun’s back. Jeno had visited Mrs. Lee several times already and promised Renjun that they would come back again sometime.

Before they left, Renjun turned back to her one last time and smiled.

“I promise I’ll always find a song to sing to you, Grandma.”

  
  


In the car, Renjun sat beside Jeno in the backseat clutching his boyfriend’s hand with both of his own. He brought Jeno’s hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it which then earned him soft and attentive ear pets.

The radio was on a low volume playing some trendy song that Renjun was pretty sure Hyuck had sang last week at karaoke. Quietly humming, Renjun began to sway his head along to the beat distractedly watching the scenery outside the window drift from suburban to city. A soft giggle came from his side, and when Renjun turned he noticed Jeno looking at him with humor in his eyes.

“By all means, don’t let me stop you, cutie,” Jeno teased lightly when the smaller had stopped bopping along. Pouting, Renjun stuck his tongue out while Jaemin looked into the rearview mirror before laughing at the sight.

“What’s going on back there?”

“Nono is teasing me just because I was jamming out to the song,” Renjun jokingly scoffed, immediately shooting Jeno a sweet look to let him know he wasn’t actually mad.

“Oh? You mean this song?” Jaemin rhetorically asked before cranking the volume up so loud the hybrid could feel the vibrations rock their way through his skull.

“Nana!” Renjun yelled, rolling down the window to hopefully rid the car of some of the sound.

“Jaem, too loud!” Jeno lamented over the ear-blasting music and Jaemin’s own cackling laughter.

With the window down, the radio crescendoed outside alerting all of people on the sidewalks and passing cars that were unfortunate enough to also have their windows down. Renjun knew they were getting close to their destination, and if Jaemin pulled into the lot blaring like this, he wouldn’t be able to live down the embarrassment.

When they stopped at the next light, Renjun quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned across Jeno and the console to reach the dash and immediately turned the radio off, earning himself a betrayed look from Jaemin.

“Big baby,” Renjun muttered, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek before settling back next to Jeno and buckling up before the light had turned green.

“You both are no fun,” Jaemin huffed.

“Sorry that we want to be able to hear and not have raging headaches all day once we get there. You know, especially since, no big deal or anything, it’s my first time going?” Renjun’s voice got quieter towards the end and he felt an arm sling its way around his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Junnie. You know we’ve got you; it’s going to be so much fun,” Jeno nuzzled into the side of his head before placing a kiss there.

“I know,” Renjun sighed, looking back out the open window, letting the passing wind comb its way through his hair, tussling the strands.

“You’re going to love it, baby. I just know it,” Jaemin made eye contact with Renjun in the mirror, flashing his dazzling smile. And how could Renjun not return his smile when he looked like that?

The drive wasn’t too long since the cemetery hadn’t been terribly far outside of the city, and where they were going was decently close to their apartment. So, when it had been less than thirty minutes once they arrived, Renjun wasn’t surprised, but he was on edge and jittery.

It didn’t matter what time of day it was, there were bound to be people here, especially since the weather had turned out so nice that day.

Spotting the decently sized pond, Renjun knew they were there.

When he saw Donghyuck laying down on a blanket, sunbathing with a sun reflector held up under his neck to shine the sun directly on his face, Renjun couldn’t help himself from rolling his eyes. It was all just so very ‘Donghyuck’, giant bug-eyed sunglasses and all.

When the car came to a halt and Renjun heard the sound of it shifting into park, he took in one shaky breath and exhaled it, hand poised on the door handle. Yes, he was nervous as always, but the more he looked outside, the more his anxiousness turned into excitement.

Throwing the door open, Renjun jumped down, his tail perking up right away, standing tall. He blinked in the bright sunlight, moving around the car to poke his head out from behind it.

“Injunnie, hyung!” A deep and excited voice rang out as a tall puppy hybrid came bolting his way, crashing into Renjun before he lifted him into a spinning hug. “You actually came! You actually came! Oh my gosh, there’s so much to do! What are we going to do first? This is so overwhelming. You’ve never played fetch; you’re never been down a slide before either, have you? Wow this is crazy,” Jisung rambled on backtracked by the sound of Renjun’s giggles.

“We can do it all, Jisungie.”

“You really mean it, hyung?” Jisung asked as he set the cat hybrid back down onto his feet, his tail wagging excitedly behind him and a huge smile on his face.

“Yes, of course! You’ve wanted me to come to a park since the first time I talked to you. Lead the way!”

Grabbing Renjun’s hand, Jisung began to drag him along down the slope of the hill where the parking lot was. First, Jisung made Renjun roll down said hill through the tall grass, and Renjun was glad he had opted to wear his older clothes since he knew there was no escaping stains today.

“Renjun, what the hell are you doing?” He heard Donghyuck’s loud voice holler from across the small field when he spotted him tumbling through the grass.

“Having fun! What are you doing? Frying yourself?” Renjun could hear his scoff even from this far away.

“I have to maintain this beautiful skin tone somehow.”

“Hyung!” As soon as Renjun had stood and bent down to dust his jeans off, he was tackled from the back by a screeching hybrid. “Hyung! Hyung!” Sharp, high-pitched cackling was basically yelled into his ear as he was smashed into the dirt.

“What the fuck, Chenle,” Renjun wheezed, spitting the dirt that had gotten into his mouth.

“What? I’m excited!”

“Renjun!”

“Oh no.”

Renjun had approximately two seconds to brace himself before the weight of another dog hybrid was thrown on top of him, only further smothering his face in the ground. The giggles that rang out from above him showed Renjun that there was absolutely no remorse, and also that he would probably not be moving anytime soon.

“Get off Hyung so we can show him how to play fetch!”

  
  


Everything smelt of grass, including his boyfriends, as he cuddled between them on the picnic quilt they had brought. Donghyuck and Mark were next to the three on their own blanket in a similar position to them.

The sun was on the cusp of its setting and Renjun couldn’t stop giggling at the very exhausted Yukhei chasing behind the puppy hybrids that were still bounding across the open field even after all the hours they had spent outside. Their level of energy and stamina impressed Renjun because it hadn’t even been more than an hour until he had become exhausted from running around with the hybrids.

When Yangyang was distracting Yukhei, Chenle had snuck up behind the human and pounced, landing on his back and laughing brightly. Yangyang pointed and laughed while Yukhei stumbled before gripping the hybrid close to his body and laughing as well. Jisung stood off to the side with a shining smile at the scene.

Turning to look at where the others were situated watching the sunset over the pond, Jisung bounded over and crashed onto the blanket with Donghyuck and Mark splitting them up to squeeze in between them.

“Jisung, what the-“

“I want snuggles too. I’m tired,” he cut Donghyuck off who stared in disbelief before scowling and rolling on top of the younger to begin using him as a body pillow.

Laughing, Renjun leaned into Jeno’s hand that was rubbing small circles into the base of his ears, fluffing his hair in the process. A deep purr came from his chest as he leaned back onto Jaemin’s chest, his boyfriends on either side of him. Jaemin turned to wrap his arm around the hybrid’s waist and over to settle on Jeno’s hip giving them a soft smile before turning back out to look at the sunset.

“It’s really pretty, Junnie. You should paint it,” Jeno mumbled distractedly, speaking of the sky.

“Mmm,” Renjun responded. “You’re right. It would be a nice reminder of today as well.” A loving kiss was pressed to Renjun’s cheek by Jaemin who then stroked over the same place with his thumb shooting both of them adoring looks.

“We’ll need to get you a better place for your art, Injunnie. Some kind of studio or something,” Renjun shook his head adamantly.

“I’m saving up and I almost have enough. I’ll get my own studio,” before either of them could interrupt, the smaller held up a hand to stop them. “I’ve been doing really well and I think having a place that’s my own separate from you two would be good for my independence. Also, Joohyun agrees, so,” he stuck his thumb out at a fake offended Jaemin.

“You want to be _separate_ from us? Junnie! How could you!” He threw himself to the side, dramatically wailing which only served to make his boyfriends roll their eyes.

“It’s a really good idea, Renjun,” Jeno spoke into his hair where his hand was still caressing him. Renjun shifted and turned to his other boyfriend smiling brilliantly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’ll need your own office soon anyways with how everything has taken off so well,” his hands came up to hold Renjun’s face tenderly as his eyes disappeared into those beautiful little crescents.

They stared at one another for a beat before Renjun couldn’t help his gaze from raking down to Jeno’s lips, and at that his boyfriend leaned close to join them. The kiss was languid and precious, nothing too intense given their setting.

When Renjun pulled back, he pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked towards Jaemin who had already been reaching for the hybrid. They brushed lips against lips, caressing one another gently. Jaemin broke the kiss and then leaned over Renjun’s torso to hold Jeno and let their mouths meet finally.

“Ew, gross. Get a room,” Chenle cringed as he came back over to everyone else, Yangyang and Yukhei in tow behind him while they all panted heavily.

Jeno and Jaemin broke apart, gazing into one another’s eyes. Lowering themselves down, they both positioned their heads onto Renjun’s chest and the hybrid laid the rest of the way back down, bringing his arms up to pillow underneath his head.

“I used to never think I would see something like this,” Renjun whispered, voice full of awe.

“Like what?” Mumbled Jaemin who nuzzled into the hybrid’s side.

“This sunset. This view. I used to always paint the places I wanted to see; the places that I thought existed somewhere out there but _knew_ I would never see. And now,” a laugh ripped its way through his chest as he shook his head in wonder, “and now I’m actually here. Sure, I haven’t seen much yet, but this? This is simply breathtaking,” his voice was small when he stopped speaking.

“We’ll take you,” Jeno spoke sure of himself.

“Take me where?” His boyfriend craned his head awkwardly to face Renjun looking at him with deep emotion swimming in his eyes.

“Jaemin and I will take you where your paintings are in the real world. We’ll show you everything.” Renjun began blinking rapidly, swallowing down his emotions of just how touched he was.

“I’ve already been looking up places where the clouds look pink,” Jaemin giggled, bringing his fingers up to drum across Renjun’s sternum.

“What?” He breathed out, simply astonished by what he was hearing.

“Yup. How do you feel about Ireland?”

Jaemin’s eyebrows wiggled and Renjun couldn’t hold back from beaming at the other two while he shook his head incredulously.

“You two are something else.”

“Maybe, but we’re your something else!” Happy tears collecting in the corners of his eyes, Renjun quickly sniffed before popping up and tackling Jaemin with tickles.

“Unfair head start! Jeno, save me!” Jeno laughed warmly before joining the tussling pile of tickles and giggles.

“Oh my god,” Chenle enunciated each word, “tickle fight!”

“God, no, please,” he heard Yukhei say before a loud ‘oof’ came from somewhere next to them.

Renjun, who was focused on trying to pin Jaemin down, lost sight of Jeno who quickly circled his arms around his waist from behind clutching him close.

“Now Jaemin!” Jeno yelled out between laughs.

“You traitor!” Renjun tried to wriggle his way free, but to no avail as Jaemin began to prod at his sensitive and ticklish sides. “You’re both sleeping on the couch tonight!” The hybrid wheezed out, lungs empty from constantly guffawing at the pressure.

“Worth it!” Jaemin called from in front of him, his teeth showing in a pearly white and far too self-satisfied grin.

“You’d never,” Jeno kissed his ear even though Renjun was still captured and getting tickle tortured.

“Try me!” Gasping between laughs, he threw himself forward, bringing Jeno’s large muscled body with him on top of Jaemin, knocking the air out of him. “Aha!”

The sounds of joy and triumph echoed over the park garnering the attention of anyone else who was there. A large tickle fight consisting of nine people was rolling and wrestling one another, so who could blame them? The sight was surely something to see, but Renjun couldn’t find it in himself to care if they were staring at him or judging him.

To say Renjun loved going outside would be an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very emotional. I hope you all enjoyed this journey. There might be an epilogue as well, but the story is officially done now. We've come to the end of Renjun's story and I hope you were able to enjoy this, but also hopefully take something away from it as well. 
> 
> This is the song Renjun was singing if you're interested, it starts at 20 seconds in : [Invisible Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMrrSTZFL80)
> 
> I love you all! 
> 
> If you're interested in sticking around, I've already started on my next story and the first two chapters are up on my page. It's called Castle Bound and is a modern Renmin Prince AU! 
> 
> I also started a new NoRenMin called Moonlight à Trois! It’s ABO and also on my page!
> 
> ◕‿◕
> 
> You can say hello to me either on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tenspetal)  
> or [Curious Cat!](https://curiouscat.qa/tenspetal)
> 
> And thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please know that comments and kudos fuel my life force :,)


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